In memory of a loving father...

[hpdrifter]

There was some dissent in the family about whether the father was actually loving and whether or not this was an appropriate epitaph for his tombstone.

I posited that I don't think it matters once he's dead.

What do you think? Should you be honest about who someone was in life on their epitaph? Meaning, if they were an abusive drunk, should their epitaph read something like "Father, friend, Abusive Drunk"? Or is it better to just let all that go and let the rest of the passersby in the cemetary think he was a loving father?

[Rancid_Beasties]

I agree with you hpdrifter. I think most people deserve a little dignity in their death. Even if they had their faults.

[na§tee]

i like spike milligan's:
"i told you i was sick!"

on topic: loving father etc - all that shite on gravestones in standard cliche. i don't think you should worry about other people making incorrect judgements about a dead stranger! just go with the consensus. it's not as if it's "he was the most fantabulous dad in teh world and made me strawberry milkshake everyday!"

[TurdBerglar]

just cremate him

[yeahwho]

Being a Father/Dad is one of those "never enough" jobs. Just from some of the observations I've made.

Selective memory can play tricks on those close to the source. Love isn't as simple as a choice.

I don't have the slightest clue of what I'm talking about. My dad is extremely difficult....to me, but everybody else who's met him says he's a first class act.

Go with the loving memory epitath.

[cookiepuss]

well just because someone is an ornery old bastard doesn't mean they don't love thier family...even when they don't treat them well.


alchoholism is a disease, and though a person is responsible for thier actions, they don't always have control over them in the way that they should.


yeah tombstones should say nice things or funny things..never mean things.

[hpdrifter]

I am not sure where I would stand on this if it were my own father. Like I said, when my boyfriend asked me what I thought I told him that I don't think it matters once you are dead and why hold on to it after nothing can be done?

But I don't know. My father is not an abusive drunk, he's just very distant. He and my mom had a rocky relationship and divorced when I was a baby. He wasn't around very much when I was growing up.

I guess I might feel a little wierd putting "loving" in his epitaph.

[hpdrifter]

just cremate him

He is being cremated. But he still has a headstone.

[buddylee]

being a father/Dad isn't a popularity contest. it's a f'ed job .If you father was ruff on you most likely his father was to him.
also if he acted like you buddy you'd be lieing on the couch smoking week all day,insted of getting a job or going to school.

So give him a break , this maybe the only time you get to meet his old friend and hear storys about you pop back in the day.


PS my cousin spoke at my granmothers funeral about how she never drank. hell grandpa sold moon shine back when drinking was outlawed.

[Astra]

There was some dissent in the family about whether the father was actually loving and whether or not this was an appropriate epitaph for his tombstone.

I posited that I don't think it matters once he's dead.

What do you think? Should you be honest about who someone was in life on their epitaph? Meaning, if they were an abusive drunk, should their epitaph read something like "Father, friend, Abusive Drunk"? Or is it better to just let all that go and let the rest of the passersby in the cemetary think he was a loving father?


Be respectful but you don't have to over due it.. stick to facts..
name:born:death: skip the word "loving" and just put "father, "son" etc...

been there... sucks... and glad to help...

[ampm]

My papa was a plumber. He used to beat us senseless with a plunger and such. When he passed we flushed him down the comode. True story.

[cosmo105]

if he wasn't loving, then don't put it. simple. no one walking by is going to know or care. but when the family comes to pay their respects to it, they'll see that and it might bother them more and more every time. if it just says "father," well...they can't really argue with that, can they?