why do gay men speak effeminately?

[b i o n i c]

im not homophobic, ok. just wanted to say that off the bat. i know more gay people than most of you.

but why is it that so many gay men talk like women? is it really necessary to do so just because of a physical attraction? is this something that is part of the biological aspects of sexuality or is this something that's affected? a lot of the time it seems inauthentic. i don't know why, just stating my observation. what do you think?

[TurdBerglar]

i have never met a woman that spoke like gay man!

[b i o n i c]

you know what i mean.


were you trying to say that some gay men seem 'more feminine' than most women?

[TurdBerglar]

gay dudes just seem gay. not feminine at all.

[b i o n i c]

if you want to look at it that way

[b i o n i c]

actually, no

Ef`fem´i`nate`ly
adv. 1. In an effeminate or womanish manner; weakly; softly; delicately.


and gay men are commonly referred to as effeminate, so that would make those gay men 'woman-like'.

[alexandra]

since a lot of gays like feminine stuff, and act feminine, it kind of makes sense that they also talk feminine. but not every gay does. everyone has their way of expressing themselves.

[Sarky Devotchka]

this is an interesting query. I went to school with a kid named Timmy who sounded "gay" his whole life, starting as far back as 2nd grade. He also had really feminine handwriting. I don't know if he turned out to actually be homosexual.

I also went to college with this guy who was really flamboyant and had a very feminine "gay" voice, who claimed to be straight. And I know a hairdresser who speaks and acts "gay", yet is straight. But that guy's an ass, I don't know what his problem is...he's always dating ultra-hip 20 year old girls.

my boss is gay, as well as a majority of our clientele...there are many variations in speech, but usually a general affectation that clues you into them being gay. I have no idea, I'm not a real scientist.

[Lyman Zerga]

it was funny hearing my dad speaking with his normal voice to us and then picking up the phone and be all like HEY MY LIL BABY DARLING to one of his lovers with a high wannabe feminine voice

no, not really funny :(

[b i o n i c]

it was funny hearing my dad speaking with his normal voice to us and then picking up the phone and be all like HEY MY LIL BABY DARLING to one of his lovers with a high wannabe feminine voice

no, not really funny :(


that's the kind im talking about, its obviously a conscious affectation.

sarky, this is more of a sociological question? is this a way some dudes of broadcast that they're gay?

[Sarky Devotchka]

that's the kind im talking about, its obviously a conscious affectation.

sarky, this is more of a sociological question? is this a way some dudes of broadcast that they're gay?

I think so, but it's also probably similar to how sorority girls end up sounding the same. although my boss' voice does go way more gay when he's talking to other gay guys. we all talk in pronounced homo voices for fun around the shop though.

[Mr Films]

i know more gay people than most of you.

i dunno, man. all growing up- my mom was a modern jazz dance teacher.

only reason i retained heterosis is probably due to the amount of tits I saw at a very young age while girls changed for dance class.

i was the harmless little kid, or so they thought.

this post is over.

[Freebasser]

Not all gay men sound that way.

Camp gay men do, but I'm sure there's plenty of homos who speak with manly voices. Echewta isn't one of them though :(

[instigator7022]

Not all gay men sound that way.

Camp gay men do, but I'm sure there's plenty of homos who speak with manly voices. Echewta isn't one of them though :(

It's all based on how you want to sound just like some girls like to put on baby voices because it's "cute" not all girls talk like that. Some gay guys want to sound " cute" too.

[Freebasser]

^ She'ths right, girlths!

[b i o n i c]

i said 'some' not all gay men. and of course there are many who speak all manly.


sarky, if gay dudes 'gay it up' even more when they're together, then maybe its not a way of broadcasting their sexuality.

[Freebasser]

Oopthiedoodleths! My bad, sugar!

[ms.peachy]

Not all gay men sound that way.

Camp gay men do, but I'm sure there's plenty of homos who speak with manly voices.
No shit. Mr.p and I used to live next door to these two heavy-duty leather boys. There was nothing un-manly about them - it was extreme macho city there, I tell you. Mr.p was a little scared of them, and not without good reason. They made no secret of eyeing him up, like a cat watching a mouse.

[voltanapricot]

My army mechanic gay uncle isn't at all camp. Or so I thought until he took us to a teeny gay bar for lunch:

"OOH 'ELLO DUCKY, OH THWEEDHEART! LET'STH GET YOU THOMETHING THPECIAL TO EAT, OOH!"

Consequently, I believe it has a fair bit to do with the surroundings.

[DapperDiverge]

im not homophobic, ok. just wanted to say that off the bat. i know more gay people than most of you.

but why is it that so many gay men talk like women? is it really necessary to do so just because of a physical attraction? is this something that is part of the biological aspects of sexuality or is this something that's affected? a lot of the time it seems inauthentic. i don't know why, just stating my observation. what do you think?


i've been wondering this myself... personally, i think they do it for attention and it gets on my nerves cuz i think a grown 40yr old man trying to sound like a 16 yr old california mall rat girl is pathetic... like you know wha I mean? ugghhh, like gag me with a spoon...like really...

SO ANNOYING!! Actually i hate it when anyone talks like that... like michael jackson talking with that soft voice... c'mon now, that's gotta be an act!
don't get me started with richard simmons... alan cummings is totally cool though, he rocks

we get it, you're here and you're queer, stop the flamming attitude already!! save it for broadway, not the office!! just cuz you're all happy and joyful doesn't mean i gotta be!! i hate happiness!! growwwwls:mad:

[yeahwho]

My army mechanic gay uncle isn't at all camp. Or so I thought until he took us to a teeny gay bar for lunch:

"OOH 'ELLO DUCKY, OH THWEEDHEART! LET'STH GET YOU THOMETHING THPECIAL TO EAT, OOH!"

Consequently, I believe it has a fair bit to do with the surroundings.

Ha, so gay men kin of sound like this (http://www.everwonder.com/david/tweety/SOUNDS/puddy1.wav)!

[DandyFop]

In one of David Sedaris's books, he talks about how he had to go to speech class because he had a lisp (David is gay), and how he noticed the other boys in the speech class were "like him". So I'm guessing it's something in the bloodstream along with the social situation.

My best male friend couldn't be less of a campy homo though...but all the other gay guys I hang with do speak in a higher register. I don't know...interesting.

[Rock]

I find it hard to believe there is not one gay male on this board, come on, speak out!
If you can't find the gay guy in your group of friends (or in this case the internerd), then its you.

[The Notorious LOL]

I knew a kid who came out of the closet, and brought his newly discovered lisp with him.


I think its just a stupid stereotype that people keep alive.

[ScarySquirrel]

Well, for the record, neither one of my gay friends sound like chicks at all when they speak. They just sound... normal, I guess. Well, except Josh is a quiet/soft talker, but that's not necessarily something feminine. Other than that though, we're talking just normalcy over here...

[ampm]

I know being gay is heretic, but speaking effeminately is a choice.

[b i o n i c]

i had a friend who acted very gay from when we were little kids. everyone thought he was gay, but has always tried to assert his heterosexuality. the nicest guy in the world. now he's a teacher at my old high school. his effeminate ways have receded and now he talks all masculine-like. hmmm

[DandyFop]

I think its just a stupid stereotype that people keep alive.

Yeah, but like I said...David Sedaris was going to this speech class in grade school. I don't think at that time he'd figured out that lisping was a way to show everyone else he was a homo.

[marsdaddy]

only reason i retained heterosis is probably due to the amount of tits I saw at a very young age while girls changed for dance class. So if not for exposure to breasts, you'd be gay? Where's Qdrop?

I had a Pakistani roommate in college. He grew up in the US, hung with the cool kids, and spoke perfect English. But, he'd get a phone call from a family member, and all the sudden speak in the thick patois of someone who didn't grow up in the US.

Pipe that in your smoke and put it.

[skinnybutphat]

Flaming is a dialect. I have alot of respect for gay guys who don't wave their gay flags all over the place.

[marsdaddy]

Flaming is a dialect. I have alot of respect for gay guys who don't wave their gay flags all over the place.Kind of like the respect I have for Chicagoans who don't say, "Da Bears!"

[skinnybutphat]

Only Norm & his crew were on that 'Da Bears' shit. The true Bear fan adds 'my friend' at the end of every statement about the beloved, my friend.

[kleptomaniac]

watch more will and grace and LEARN something :rolleyes:

[hardnox71]

although my boss' voice does go way more gay when he's talking to other gay guys.
That makes complete sense to me but I can't explain why.

It's like if you guys heard me and my boys hanging out and bullshitting around and then if you heard me in a job interview. You wouldn't believe I was really the same person.

[b i o n i c]

well. i actually learned something from your responses. i get it, no question. thanks

[Laver1969]

For me, it is a complex issue. I love being a man, but sometimes I love men, too.

[Chicka B]

For me, it is a complex issue. I love being a man, but sometimes I love men, too.

:D (y)

[kleptomaniac]

hmm got mayo? (http://img508.imageshack.us/my.php?image=mwm6gt.png)

[Chicka B]

Hahaha, good stuff Dana. (y)