my fake boyfriend

[Sarky Devotchka]

on saturday night I was out for my friend's birthday and I wanted to party all night like the old days, hold out until things get shady. but cort was all, "I'm going home with my boyfriend" and I got pissed. and our new future roommate wanted to go home. I managed to drag out new roommate for a bit longer because people were going to a late night karaoke bar, but she hated it. Just when she was begging to leave, I got a booty call text from my fake boyfriend. she frowned and said my name in a mom voice. but I was like, "come on!", so we shared a cab, and I got out at his house.

anyway, he was already in bed and I was hyper, so I said, "hey let's party!" and he said, "what do you want to do?" and I said "umm, watch cable t.v. and drink whiskey" and he obliged. except he didn't have any whiskey, so he opened a nice bottle of champagne and we drank it and watched mtv's "date my mom" and cuddled on the couch. then of course, middle aged women make everyone horny, so we ended up doing it.

the thing is....I think he likes me a lot. he said I make him nervous. I should probably back off. I don't really want him to be my real boyfriend, we don't have much in common, I do most of the talking.

anybody else been through this?

[ASsman]

Middle aged women talking about middle aged women making someone horny, makes me horny.

[skinnybutphat]

Is jerking off like having a fake boyfriend?

[Echewta]

not the fake boyfriend part but the part about middle aged women, yes.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I wish!

[ms.peachy]

Seriously - if you really think he likes you, as in, is secretly harbouring hopes for a more-than-just-booty-calls relationship, and you're saying that that ain't gonna happen, you really need to not be sleeping with him any more. And I think you didn't need me to tell you that.

[Ace42X]

Heh sluts, gotta love 'em. And by love, I mean fuck. I remember when I used to fuck sluts.

[Sarky Devotchka]

Seriously - if you really think he likes you, as in, is secretly harbouring hopes for a more-than-just-booty-calls relationship, and you're saying that that ain't gonna happen, you really need to not be sleeping with him any more. And I think you didn't need me to tell you that.

yeah. hmph. well, we'll see how it goes.

[Bob]

Damn that Bob! Fake loves someone, then fake leaves them. He is such a fake heartbreaker!

no, she's my fake ex girlfriend

totally different job description

[Sarky Devotchka]

bob, I still have some of your boxers in my drawer. and you left your razor. I'm not sure if you want them back or not...I kind of like having them around.

[adam_f]

Dave Coulier is the same way.

[Nuzzolese]

You're worried he's getting too attached and wants you to be his main squeeze? What makes you think that? Tell him up front you just want this to be a booty call thing.

Do you think you'll ever fall in love? Do you even want that? Are you ever worried that casual sex will cheapen sex in general for you, so that it will become meaningless and routine for you even when you are intimate with someone you really love? Are you ever worried that the person you love will be hesitant to trust you because of all your previous "boyfriends" you might have hanging in the wings? Don't you think that any guy who wants to be your boyfriend will find the competition (lotsa guys giving you attention) so daunting that he'll avoid any chance at heartbreak with you? Maybe guys see you as fast and overly aggressive and that's why you make them nervous; You'll break their hearts because you have so many love interests, and they can't even take physical intimacy as a sign that they are special because you are physically intimate with all the guys you like. (lb)

[Sarky Devotchka]

well see, it's a bit complicated. this guy was the first boy cort ever kissed. after that, he cheated on his girlfriend with her. she liked him a lot, and during this, I secretly liked him too. I confessed this to her when she seemed to have him out of her system and she gave me permission to do whatever. this was in college...about 5 years ago. we made out a few times, didn't go too far really. then he started dating this skinny redhead and I got upset, but not too upset. after college, him and his best friend moved to chicago around the same time that our other friends (who now live in L.A.) moved here. I came to visit and hung out with him (we'll call him M) and his best friend, who became my Punk Rock Boy. we hit it off really well and ended up worshipping eachother for like 2 days straight. M was not pleased.

when it was time to go back to ohio, Punk Rock Boy made plans to visit the next weekend, M was going to drive. Well, while Punk Rock Boy was in the shower, M left for Ohio without him. SABOTAGE. everything fell apart soon after that. I moved to chicago about a year later and they were still living together and M had a girlfriend. PRB and I reconnected, but it was a disaster. One night when I called PRB, M came over instead. We made out. Thereby sealing the fate of me and PRB. Then PRB started dating this really ugly girl and I was very upset.

anyway, about two years went by until M and his girlfriend broke up. he called me two days later. and we made out. and this calling and making out and/or having sex has been going on for about a year now.

my friends have suspected that he's been in love with me for years. so I suppose that makes us both jerks.

and I'm not physically intimate with all the guys I like. oh man, would that I were! I've only slept with 5 people in 7 years. 3 of which were my boyfriends. I do wonder what a guy would think of this situation though.

I suppose I have a fear of committment, but I also haven't really found anyone that I'd want to commit to...OR really anyone who'd want to commit to me.

[bigblu89]

My head exploded halfway through that last post.

I'm now typing this with no head, and blood squiritng out of my neckhole.

[Sarky Devotchka]

My head exploded halfway through that last post.

I'm now typing this with no head, and blood squiritng out of my neckhole.

and that's not even the half of it! in the middle somewhere, I made out with one of their other friends and pissed off my other friend because she thought that she was going to make out with him that night! oh no!

[bigblu89]

I didn't read that last one... Blood still all over the place.

[Echewta]

your mouth is a slut Sarky.

[marsdaddy]

Have any of you been tested?

[Ace42X]

Just the other day I held a pencil under my breast un-aided.

[ms.peachy]

Have any of you been tested?
Not in over a decade. But then, that's marriage for ya.

[Sarky Devotchka]

Have any of you been tested?

well, the first two were virgins. my last boyfriend had been tested, as well as the friend that I slept with. this guy, I don't know, but we use condoms.

echewta's right about my mouth. my vagina's not as slutty.

[DandyFop]

I'm a lip slut, it's true. I've kissed many a boy.

[CrankItUp!]

Maybe you could get a non-fake boyfriend if you had a "non-flat ass" in dos saggy jeans ! :p

[Sarky Devotchka]

THAT'S PAUL JONES' BUTT!

[CrankItUp!]

So, is Paul Jones your real booeeyyy-friend din???? :)

[b i o n i c]

then of course, middle aged women make everyone horny, so we ended up doing it.

the thing is....I think he likes me a lot.


hes in love wit dat phat ass. im sure he liked bangin it as much as the next guy

[Sarky Devotchka]

hes in love wit dat phat ass. im sure he liked bangin it as much as the next guy

wait, this seems rude. but I can't tell for sure. :mad:

[Justin]

I love middle aged women.

I had this little affair thingy with this chick that was 10 years older than me about 5 years ago. She was really cute, and for some reason she liked me at the time to.

WOW, she was a very very dirty talker and so so naughty. Then afterwards she would act like a completely diffrent woman and id be thinkin, "did i just have sex with her"

[iceygirl]

the reason m was pissed about you and prb ages ago is because you were his piece of (future) ass, not prb's. that is why he came over instead of prb and also why he called you 2 days after his breakup, AND why you are on a friends with benefits status now.

if he wanted anything more from you, he most likely wouldnt have started screwing you.

that being said, i wouldnt worry about his feelings, just keep having a good time i guess. unless there is some other indication that 'he is in love with you' like your friends say, but from what you said here, it doesnt seem that way.