Sexual abuse - a question

[Ace42X]

I was jsut watching one of channel 4's "The darker side of porn" programs, and a question popped into my head, partly due to the "casual sex" thread.

A lot of the people who have (traditionally) been actors in porn films have come from a background where they have been abused, it is almost a cliché that people who have been abused often end up as being hyper-sexualised, and often into "deviant" acts.

Now, we're all about free love here I am sure, and if people want to do kinky stuff, good for them. I am sure Peachy will chime in at this point and say she is all about people getting their kinky boundary-pushing thing on.

BUT, at what point does it become exploitation? If a deviancy is the product of abuse, would it be unethical for someone to promote it.

For example, if a chick was really into anal, due to personal complexes, would a guy who was keen on anal be morally wrong for enabling behaviour which might come around from self-loathing, rather than a "genuine" affinity for the act?

I mean, we aren't all qualified psychologists, so what expectations are upon a guy to figure this sort of thing out?

The crux of the question is: If someone, being over the age of consent and not completely off their rocker, has a long term sexual deviancy originating from a traumatic past - does time somehow... Disolve the 'illness' of this, and by a process of ageing it make it a "legitimate" deviancy?

[ms.peachy]

The crux of the question is: If someone, being over the age of consent and not completely off their rocker, has a long term sexual deviancy originating from a traumatic past - does time somehow... Disolve the 'illness' of this, and by a process of ageing it make it a "legitimate" deviancy?
I would have watched that, if I wasn't watching Desperate Housewives...

Anyway... I forget the correct psychological term for it, but it is a pretty well established and accepted thing that for many people who have been subject to abuse or trauma that it is entirely possible (and even desirable) to reclaim some power in their lives through sexual acts that mirror the initial trigger exeprience(s).

It might not make immediate sense, but it's sort of like... Ok, let's say that you have a boy who had parents who used a lot of physical punishment, and who was made to feel shame about sex (like, maybe he was caught masturbating, and was physically punished and told he was bad, dirty, nasty, etc.) So maybe then later in life, as a man, he becomes the sort of bloke that seeks out the services of a dominatrix. In doing so, yes he is to an extent recreating a situation that you might think he'd want to avoid, because it was traumatic and painful. But there is a critical difference in that he is now in control of the scene. (Any good B&D/S&M devotee will tell you, the true master/slave relationship is run from the bottom up - i.e., the power really resides with the submissive partner.) Weird as it sounds, it can almost be a sort of therapy, where the original trauma is turned inside out.

So in other words, I'd say the answer to your question is yes. Sometimes.

[marsdaddy]

Or, another way to psychoanalyze it is, people are often unaware or subconsciously blocking out the abuse and pain from it. By seeking out a way to recreate/act out the abuse, they may be able to break through the trauma...assuming, of course, they become in touch with the driving force behind their behavio(u)rs.

[Lyman Zerga]

just a few days ago i had to give you a rim job :(