dude's making plans

[Sarky Devotchka]

Last night we had a party and that guy with the girlfriend that I like (nathan) showed up with one of his bandmates (dave). We hung out and got silly in the kitchen with a case of frosting, and dave and I became fast friends. I introduced myself to him after awhile because I'd never officially met him...and he said, "oh yeah, sorry, I mean I already knew your name". ha!

Anyway, me, a couple of girls, nathan, dave and our other friend decided to go to a strip club. I rode with the boys and we drove around yelling things out the window at people and laughing alot...like yelling "insufficient funds!" at a guy at an ATM machine. We were all amped up about the naked boobs, but then my friend chris called and was like, "dude, they wear pasties, that place sucks". Plus it was $20 to get in, I said, "20 dollars! I can look at my own naked boobs for 5!" and Dave said, "I'd rather just give you 20 dollars and look at your boobs!" So we decided to go to this Punk/Industrial club instead. The whole time Nathan and I were chatting and we danced together to terrible industrial music. He bought me a beer, we sat on a motorcycle together and talked about all kinds of stuff...he was asking about my ex and why we broke up and other kinds of I'm-trying-to-figure-out-how-well-we'd-fit-together types of questions. He said that it sucks that I'm moving further away, but then he said, "well, I have a car." ha!

We all left around 4 a.m. and as we were walking to the cars, I said to Nathan, "I want to stay up all night and talk to you" and he said, "yes, I would like to do that too...but, my girlfriend's at my place right now". and so I threw myself against a brick wall (literally) and said, "gahhh!" and he said, "yeah, we're back to that" and I was writhing around like I was dying, taking big heavy steps and he said "I get along with you so much better, in such a different way though". and I was like, "of course you're saying this". then he said, "I'm going to europe for a month on tour. I leave on monday." So I just started laughing.

we got to the girls' car first and Dave was like, "hey, come with us, I can take you home" and I was like, "oh, well, the girls live right down the street from me, but, uh, well" and then I looked at Nathan and asked if I should go and he said, "you should probably go with the girls, I'll see you when I come back from europe" and I was like, "yeah, I know" and pulled a sad face. and he said, "come on, give me a hug", and we hugged and I whispered to him, "I hate you" and he said "I hate you too" and smiled.

THEN, as soon as I got in the car, my friend said, "why didn't you go with them? dude was trying to get you guys to make out". and I was like, "huh?" and she said, "yeah, we were all watching you guys the whole time talking about how cute you were. Dave said he doesn't like Nathan's girlfriend, he loves you and wants you to be with him instead." So then I screamed.

Seriously, someone needs to shoot me in the face.

Cort is optimistic about the whole thing though. I'm just kind of beside myself. I had a dream that we made out, and also that he had a combover.

[TAL]

After the first part I thought this was gonna be about Dave. It wasn't.

[ms.peachy]

After the first part I thought this was gonna be about Dave. It wasn't.
yeah me too LOL I thought it was going to go more along the lines of "yeah so I'm really into Dave now."

I'm really torn, Sarky - on the one hand I love reading your "like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives" episodes, and on the other hand I want to smack you for even still talking to this Nathan guy.

[TAL]

I also want to smack Sarky, but in nice sexy way of course.

[Auton]

boneriffic

[ms.peachy]

Wait a minute... a case of frosting? What kind of sick twisted freaks are you people?

[Sarky Devotchka]

yeah me too LOL I thought it was going to go more along the lines of "yeah so I'm really into Dave now."

I'm really torn, Sarky - on the one hand I love reading your "like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives" episodes, and on the other hand I want to smack you for even still talking to this Nathan guy.

I know! no, Dave and I just became instant friends. he's a lead singer who writes lyrics like, "if you won't fuck me, your friend will". I'm not a complete moron.

seriously, I tried to ignore him at first and was even a little bitchy...but then I got sucked into the fun vortex that he and our friends created in the kitchen. Man, we were laughing so hard. People thought we were retarded. I couldn't resist. :(

[Sarky Devotchka]

Wait a minute... a case of frosting? What kind of sick twisted freaks are you people?

yeah, cort's mom sent her a case of chocolate frosting in pilsbury dough boy-shaped squeeze bottles. everyone was confused. and it's expired! they squirted a little on the toilet seat and waited to see what happened if someone saw it. it was anti-climatic, but word of poo on the toilet seat spread throughout the party like wildfire and we just kept laughing about the ridiculousness of the situation and trying to think of grosser stuff to do, and dave was like, "OH GOD, WE SHOULD'VE PUT A TWO WAY MIRROR IN THERE!" and (at this point we're all screaming laughing) I was like, "HURRY, THERE'S STILL TIME! LET'S SET UP A CAMERA!" and so on.

it's not as funny typed out. merp.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I would like to know what nuzz thinks of this....

yeah, I posted 3 times in a row in my own thread, shut up!

[mickill]

he said "I get along with you so much better, in such a different way though".

That's a pretty 'middle-aged man with a wife and two kids trying to get laid while on a business trip' kind of thing to say to someone, I think.

[instigator7022]

I really like reading your life stories. It's like how they used to publish books back in the day. They would only print like a chapter or two a day.

It interests me...no advice though...

[enree erzweglle]

Sarky, it took a long time for me to figure out your posts but now I'm somewhat hooked especially when you write stuff like this:

I'm just kind of beside myself. I had a dream that we made out, and also that he had a combover. :D

[na§tee]

(!) what about the myspace guy with the big penis?!
WHAT ABOUT HIM, SARKS; WHAT. ABOUT. HIM. ?!?!?!





:cool:

[Sarky Devotchka]

That's a pretty 'middle-aged man with a wife and two kids trying to get laid while on a business trip' kind of thing to say to someone, I think.

ha ha, yeah. well...he didn't say exactly that. it was less skeevy-sounding. it was more like him sort of talking to himself out loud...trying to make a decision or something. he's a nice guy, everyone speaks so highly of him.

well, his friends are rooting for me.

[Sarky Devotchka]

(!) what about the myspace guy with the big penis?!
WHAT ABOUT HIM, SARKS; WHAT. ABOUT. HIM. ?!?!?!





:cool:

aye, well, I called him and left a message...and he never called back. whatever.

[Nuzzolese]

Would you really like to know what I think or were you just saying that? I guess it doesn't matter. You guys make it so dramatic, the hugging and the whispering. When this could all be resolved quite simply. It doesn't gross you out or put you off at all that his girlfriend was back at his place the whole time you two were trying to decide if you'd be a good fit for each other? Pay attention to your dream. Your subconscious was trying to tell you something. The combover is significant because he's trying to pretend and hide things and look better than even he knows that he is. He's a phony and he goes to great lengths to socially "comb over" the "bald spot" of his character.

[na§tee]

oh, that's a shame. how rude!

you seriously need a reality tv show about your dating crisis. like lisa loeb. but with cooler bangs. [as you say in america. it's a fringe over here, dude]

[cosmo105]

i like reading sarky's posts because every time i think my life's getting a little too hectic or dramatic, i remember...ahh...it could be crazier.

silly girl! stop talking to him! just fuckin' do it already.


p.s. oh my god i want to stab lisa loeb in the ovaries with a rusty fire poker. she's all "yeah i want to have a baby now my biological clock is ticking LOL" christ! way to push back women 40 years!

[DandyFop]

Yep, Sarks. All I can say is...imagine if you were in the girlfriend's shoes.

[Nuzzolese]

Yep, Sarks. All I can say is...imagine if you were in the girlfriend's shoes.

That's where she's trying to get.

[cosmo105]

mhm. what kind of dickface guy does this intense flirty shit with a chick when he's got a woman waiting for him at home? oh, right, a dickface.

just imagine him raping your grandfather every time you think of him. that should take care of it.

[DandyFop]

That's where she's trying to get.

touche

[Sarky Devotchka]

I'm realizing that there's no way I can really make this situation sound okay, because it's not.

I have some more to say, but I gotta go to work.

[Nuzzolese]

It doesn't sound awful but it sounds pretty CRUMMY.

[cosmo105]

you've probably convinced yourself that somehow it's not that bad and in the end he'll see the light and be like omg how could i ever not be all about you and he'll dump the chick and she won't care and go off with some other dude like it didn't matter at all and no one will be hurt and you'll be oh so happy.

and you want to explain it like that to us so that we'll see it the right way but in the end you're really only convincing yourself that it's okay.

[Sarky Devotchka]

you've probably convinced yourself that somehow it's not that bad and in the end he'll see the light and be like omg how could i ever not be all about you and he'll dump the chick and she won't care and go off with some other dude like it didn't matter at all and no one will be hurt and you'll be oh so happy.

and you want to explain it like that to us so that we'll see it the right way but in the end you're really only convincing yourself that it's okay.

oh no, I know it's bad. I know and he knows that she'll be devastated. and I'm not naive about relationships. that's why this is difficult. if he leaves her, there's pressure for us to be together when neither of us have spent enough time together to know if it would even work. He's afraid to break someone's heart based on a hunch.

I keep trying to forget about him and don't see him that often. I've hung out with him maybe 5 times in the last 6 months. bleh, but when I do see him, we're like magnets. I haven't gotten along with someone so well in years. we just look at eachother and it's like no one else exists.

well, whatever, I'm not going to spill all my guts and say exactly how I feel about the whole thing. we'll see what happens after his tour. :rolleyes:

[b i o n i c]

oh, sarks.

[ms.peachy]

if he leaves her, there's pressure for us to be together when neither of us have spent enough time together to know if it would even work. He's afraid to break someone's heart based on a hunch.

oh GOOD GOD woman, do you even realise what you've written there? If not, let me just paraphrase this for you: "He's totally willing to leave her if he's pretty sure something better has come along, but he's not sure If I'm a better thing than she is."

So, let's say a few months down the line, he decides that you're not -he'll just stay with her, even though he's not 100% into her, but because hey she's convenient and she does his laundry and buys beer and stuff?

[Sarky Devotchka]

oh GOOD GOD woman, do you even realise what you've written there? If not, let me just paraphrase this for you: "He's totally willing to leave her if he's pretty sure something better has come along, but he's not sure If I'm a better thing than she is."

So, let's say a few months down the line, he decides that you're not -he'll just stay with her, even though he's not 100% into her, but because hey she's convenient and she does his laundry and buys beer and stuff?

bah, it's more complicated than that! I'm not worrying about this anymore, he's gone for a month and there's nothing I can do or find out or figure out until he's back. I need to focus on moving and setting up my new apartment anyway.

[iceygirl]

well, his friends are rooting for me.


you mean his friends are hoping that he will start rooting you.

i love reading your stuff sarky, you write in a very fun, easy to read, good storytelling way, i think you should print out some of your posts and send them to newspapers. i bet someone would give you a job to print some of this stuff. your posts have a great crack like flavor.

[wanton wench]

do you really want to be with a guy that would like someone else while still being with you? he seems like a very dishonest guy.

[Sarky Devotchka]

you mean his friends are hoping that he will start rooting you.

i love reading your stuff sarky, you write in a very fun, easy to read, good storytelling way, i think you should print out some of your posts and send them to newspapers. i bet someone would give you a job to print some of this stuff. your posts have a great crack like flavor.

ha, I think that's called Sex and the City.

[b i o n i c]

Your subconscious was trying to tell you something. The combover is significant because he's trying to pretend and hide things and look better than even he knows that he is. He's a phony and he goes to great lengths to socially "comb over" the "bald spot" of his character.


leeeeeeesin to it (y)

[Sarky Devotchka]

where's my Samantha? all of you are total Mirandas.

[fucktopgirl]

fuck sarky,you remind of my sister Emline and wth ehr story with guys,,,funny shit!!

[DandyFop]

C'mon darling, you're young, you're fabulous, and you need a good fuck. Go for it, I say. And take me with you.









/Samantha

[Documad]

I think you should sell all your stuff and follow him on tour. If he doesn't want you once you're there, you can always hook up with one of the other guys and maybe that will make him jealous and he'll want you after all.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I think you should sell all your stuff and follow him on tour. If he doesn't want you once you're there, you can always hook up with one of the other guys and maybe that will make him jealous and he'll want you after all.

I was telling cort that I should get a new credit card, buy a plane ticket, quit my job and just show up at one of his shows in Germany and say, "oh, um, I forgot to tell you something." then he'd be like, "why didn't you just ask someone for my phone number?" and I'd be like, "oh, shit, didn't think of that." and then go back home.

[Documad]

Bob Geldof fell for Paula Yates when she was a fan who followed the Boomtown Rats to Europe and waited outside the theater in the cold, cold street. And look how good that turned out!

Have you thought about telling the girlfriend that her boyfriend is flirting with you all the time? That also might move the ball forward.

[DandyFop]

A situation my friend is in reminds me a bit of this.

This guy Josh apparently has had a mondo crush on my friend Lacey for a while, but he's been dating Sarah for around a year. Two weekends ago he was very drunk and kissed some people, i don't know, besides the point. Then, last weekend, it was Lacey's going-away party because she's leaving for the summer before she goes to school in California.

Sarah was also at this party, and apparently at some point, walked in on Lacey and Josh making out. Yeah. Not good. So Sarah is all crying and crap, I really don't know what the fuck was happening, but it was pretty dramatic, and they were basically breaking up there at the party. I am good friends with Lacey and I absolutely love her, but that might justa been a Poor Life Choice as we would call it.

So Sarah is just destroyed, she leaves, Lacey and Josh still make out, I guess. A day or so later, Lacey gets a text message from Sarah telling her that she ruined a great love, etc. (apparently Sarah got Lacey's number from Josh's phone the week before because she found some "joke" poem he'd written? whatever). So Lacey feels like crap, but what is she gonna do.

Then today Sarah sent Lacey a myspace message calling her a whore. Yeah. I do feel really bad for Sarah...apparently their relationship had been on the outs the past month, but what a horrible way to break up. It's hard because I love Lacey, but I can understand why Sarah is upset. She should be directing more of the anger towards Josh, though.

It's probably a good thing that Lacey is leaving for Alaska tomorrow....

[Planetary]

where's my Samantha? all of you are total Mirandas.

really? i'd have said charlotte's personally.

man i'm gay...

[Nuzzolese]

No no, we are Cassandra's, fortelling the doom that is imminent, but no one is listening.

[Sarky Devotchka]

wait, who's Cassandra? the slutty neighbor from 227? oh, that's Sandra.

[Nuzzolese]

Where the lovely Regina King got her start

[Sarky Devotchka]

The dad on that show looks like the black version of Cort's dad. oh Lester.

I had a crush on Dylan McMillan, the token white dude that joined the cast later in the series. I don't know what I was thinking.

[Nuzzolese]

Nathan could be 10 years from now's Dylan McMillan!

[Sarky Devotchka]

he'll be 42 then, gross.

[Planetary]

i got confused when you all stopped talking about sex and the city.

what's going on? :(

[Sarky Devotchka]

we're talking about 227! a show about an apartment building with sassy black ladies and good old fashioned family values.

[Planetary]

haha, i'm afraid i've never seen it. is it an american show?

i want to see it now!

[Documad]

My favorite Miranda line was in response to something I don't quite remember. I think that Carrie was probably having the affair with Big while he was married and said something like "aren't there times when men leave their wives and it all works out" and Miranda said, "I don't watch Lifetime Television for women." I've used that line in real life.

[DIGI]

Seriously, someone needs to shoot me in the face.



Yeah..........Nathan.

[Nuzzolese]

he'll be 42 then, gross.

No, I mean 10 years from now you'll look back and say "what was I thinking?"

[b i o n i c]

he'll be 42 then, gross.


you'll be approaching 40 too, not too fresh

[Sarky Devotchka]

nuzz, I know, I was just being contrary.

bionic, I will look exactly the same at 36, therefore I will be dating 25 year old men. ooh la la!

[Nuzzolese]

nuzz, I know, I was just being contrary.



gotcha

[b i o n i c]

nuzz, I know, I was just being contrary.

bionic, I will look exactly the same at 36, therefore I will be dating 25 year old men. ooh la la!


unlikely for a woman

[Sarky Devotchka]

HAVEN'T YOU BEEN WATCHING LIVING WITH FRAN?!

actually, the women in my family age well. my mom's over 50 and gets mistaken for 40 or younger. one time we were out shopping, this man said to his wife "I think those ladies are twins"...which is kind of ridiculous, but it happened. At the very least, strangers think we're sisters.

right now, people still mistake me for 16 sometimes. when I was student teaching, I got mistaken for a 6th grader all the time.

plus, by the time I'm 36, technology will be available to make everyone look like they're 16, FOREVER!

[beastieangel01]

Would you really like to know what I think or were you just saying that? I guess it doesn't matter. You guys make it so dramatic, the hugging and the whispering. When this could all be resolved quite simply. It doesn't gross you out or put you off at all that his girlfriend was back at his place the whole time you two were trying to decide if you'd be a good fit for each other? Pay attention to your dream. Your subconscious was trying to tell you something. The combover is significant because he's trying to pretend and hide things and look better than even he knows that he is. He's a phony and he goes to great lengths to socially "comb over" the "bald spot" of his character.

yeah, the whole girlfriend at the house thing would piss me off. Piss me off enough to where I'd want to vomit at the sight of him instead of being attracted. But hey, we're all different.

[Sarky Devotchka]

yeah, the whole girlfriend at the house thing would piss me off. Piss me off enough to where I'd want to vomit at the sight of him instead of being attracted. But hey, we're all different.


I didn't know she was at his house until the end of the night, hence me throwing myself against a brick wall. And yes, I almost barfed.

I think some of you are thinking that I'm waiting for him and just taking whatever I can. If anything, I think he would be concerned whether or not I am indeed attracted to him. He's an old man, I'm young and full of vigor. even though he is in a couple of decent bands, he's the least attractive (generally speaking) member of each, so it's not like he scores chicks all the time.

bah, I just like him because we have good conversations that flow easily and stretch beyond the superficial, but aren't so heady that you get tired.

love is a jungle, man.

[beastieangel01]

I didn't know she was at his house until the end of the night, hence me throwing myself against a brick wall. And yes, I almost barfed.

ah, yeah. I remember a guy having a girlfriend and not telling me about it. That happened to me twice. That sucked ass. I feel like you shouldn't have to ASK BEFORE SEEING SOMEONE if they already have a girlfriend. Or whatever.

Thus it makes me even more sick just to hear you tell us how he told you about the woman being at home waiting for him. If that makes sense.

[Sarky Devotchka]

yeah, well, he was leaving for europe, she was probably staying there because blah blah blah excuses, I have no idea.

maybe I should ask dave about it. like, about his intentions, or if this is a pattern and whatnot. they work together and stuff, so I'm sure he has the low down. I certainly know all the details of my coworkers' love lives.

[cookiepuss]

I wouldn't hold my breath for this guy. he's a might bit wishy-washy.

[b i o n i c]

sarks is sorta wishy-washy herself when it comes to the mens department