2 dead people...

[monkey]

over the weekend i received news that two people that i know casually (my friend's friend and another friend's mom) died. i knew the people who passed but i wasnt close to them, i know them through the friends... whats the protocol in terms of condolences? theyre both very upsetting to me, one was a 24-year old girl that died unexpectedly. the other was my high school's friend mom, whose house i spent lots of time in as a kid but i havent seen her in years. :(

my friend used to even check this site once in a while...

[Lyman Zerga]

thats pretty hardcore

im sorry pauli

[b i o n i c]

that does suck, p

you probably know all this already...

if you live close, attending wakes and funerals would be good.

if you don't live close, maybe flowers or a card? don't need to be extravagant. or some people (the smarter ones i think) ask for money to be donated to a charity instead of being spent on flowers.


that's what i'd do

[Jmoney77]

Sorry about that pauli, i know how it feels to lose people you have known for a while. Im glad that you can share ur feelings with us here on the boards.:(

[enree erzweglle]

I'm sorry that you lost people, Pauli, and it's such a shame that one of them was so young. :(

I'd write a letter to the family. I'd wait a few weeks, until things calm down for them. Maybe just share with them some of your memories.

When my ma died, my dad and sister enjoyed what started coming later on, a month or two after she was gone. They were handwritten letters from people who knew my ma and who had heard, as the news travelled, that she died. Most of them heard about it after her burial (her death was somewhat unexpected and we had a fairly private burial ceremony) so many of them wrote letters. They didn't send Hallmark cards or fruit baskets or call us, but they sent notes and letters and it meant a lot because in most cases, we didn't know the stories that they were telling us. (Much of what people wrote were simple stories that they remembered about her--they told us about a thing that she did for them or that they know that she did for other people, they'd remember trips they took with her when she was a teenager--stuff like that.) It was cool to read that and it was wonderful that they took the time to share like that and to do it in real letters.

[monkey]

thanks. you know what, im gonna do that. im gonna send a letter to my friend whose mother died. it'll be a nice way to honor her mother. thanks everyone.