relationships and the sort

[monkey]

ive been thinking about this since mes amies have been writing about wanting a guy to kiss and terribly romantic moments.

BUT

being in a relationship isnt all kisses and hugs and great mornings and fantastic evenings. it's fights over plans, it's farts and morning breath, it's disagreeing and arguing and frustration because no one is as perfect as me. and it's so flawed that it's beautiful.

i love my bf but if i had someone less lovable, i'd be in jail for killing people.

[alexandra]

word.

especially about the farts, haha.

[enree erzweglle]

I've had a few relationships that lasted <1 year and I usually don't count those when I think in terms of relationships/romances. There were a few that lasted >a few years, and a couple that lasted for significantly longer than that. You're so right in that it's not all roses. A lot of compromising. For the little naggy things or the things said in anger, it helps to have or develop a bad memory. :)

I sometimes talk with people who not only want it all but they expect it all. And they don't expect anything or much to break down in their relationships, expecially when the relationship turns into a long-term thing. Long term, to me, is like >2 years. They'll maybe notice some common something or other about a couple and they'll say, "I would NEVER tolerate that in MY mate" and I think, hmmmm.

[cosmo105]

it's also being butthurt and being mad at the other person for being butthurt and dealing with each other's problems and insecurities and dutch ovening each other until one of you cries.

[Nuzzolese]

It's not going to be your only source of happiness and stability. I think if you ask that much of a relationship then you're putting too much stress on it. You have to find your personal internal sources of strength and optimism first, so that you can contribute to the other person instead of just taking what they offer. Ask not what your relationship can do for you, but what you can do for your relationship. Butthurt.

[ms.peachy]

Ask not what your relationship can do for you, but what you can do for your relationship.
There's a lot of truth in that little paraphrasing tidbit, there.

I don't know why often people have this idea that in a good relationship, everything just 'works' and that there's not struggle along the way. Of course, the reverse is true as well - relationships aren't all about pain and sacrifice, either.

I'm not exactly sure when it started, but at some point mr.peachy and I started casually referring to our life together as an "adventure." So when things aren't going so smoothly, one of us will remind the other, "all part of the big adventure - like seasickness, or lost luggage." And when we're having a moment where things feel really right and perfect, one of us might say something like "Thanks for coming on this adventure with me." I know that maybe sounds a little corny and all, but I think in a big way it really does reflect something important about how we view our relationship.

[cosmo105]

^it's also being big fat fags, apparently ;)

[ms.peachy]

oh yeah, well, that goes without saying, of course.

[Deep_Sea_Rain]

This is like a Dr. Phil episode, but seriously, some good points being brought up here...

[zorra_chiflada]

i like the farts. they make us both laugh heartily.

[Deep_Sea_Rain]

i like the farts. they make us both laugh heartily.

Personally, I leave the room.

[enree erzweglle]

^^^ with some people and with that approach, you might meet if not exceed your recommended daily exercise. :)

When a friend of mine moved in with her boyfriend, an old guy that she knew gave her this advice: share one bed and never go larger than a double. I thought that was so sweet. (But God, that approach would have liquified me with this one guy who was like human molten lava. He used to transfer his hot all onto me and damn it made for nasty sleeping. I felt trapped in there and for hours on end.)

[beastieangel01]

it's fights over plans, it's farts and morning breath, it's disagreeing and arguing and frustration

yeah. And it is worth it.

I fart a lot.

[monkey]

i hardly farted until i met the bf. now, for some reason, i toot a lot. :confused:

[beastieangel01]

i hardly farted until i met the bf. now, for some reason, i toot a lot. :confused:

before I moved in with the bf, rarely did. Now, ALL THE TIME. I don't understand it either, haha.

[burbboi]

But God, that approach would have liquified me with this one guy who was like human molten lava. He used to transfer his hot all onto me and damn it made for nasty sleeping. I felt trapped in there and for hours on end.)

Hey, some of us men just run hot! It's alot like the premise for the 'Universal Soldier' movie starring 'the muscles from Brussels' Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Except that most men worldwide aren't dead, genetically-engineered war weapons of destruction.

[marsdaddy]

before I moved in with the bf, rarely did. Now, ALL THE TIME. I don't understand it either, haha.Might want to check the beer/nacho intake.

How many people think of relationships as a checklist -- like a new car, owning a home, and losing that last 5 lbs. -- of accomplishments?