Apparently I'm lazy and selfish

[mp-seventythree]

:(

[hardnox71]

Yeah, well, that's not all she said. They never leave it at just that. There is more. Much more. Spill it.

[alexandra]

why the sad face.

[Lyman Zerga]

omg youre so human!

[mp-seventythree]

Yeah, well, that's not all she said. They never leave it at just that. There is more. Much more. Spill it.

You're right, they never leave it at that. But I'm too pissed off to get into it right now. Let's just say I thought I was a good boyfriend, and did lots of things to make her happy.

WRONG

[TAL]

I was gonna ask if this had anything to do with living in hotels. Seems like it did.

[hardnox71]

You're right, they never leave it at that. But I'm too pissed off to get into it right now. Let's just say I thought I was a good boyfriend, and did lots of things to make her happy.

WRONG
And apparently she did, too, until something ultimately pissed her off. God knows I'm the furthest thing on the planet from a Casanova but I do know that women are extremely emotional, especially when they are pissed and believe me, I have pissed off more women than you probably know. They'll say a bunch of shit they don't mean and a bunch of shit they do mean. You got to take it all with a grain of salt, my friend.

She says something like you're selfish and lazy but she dated you for x-number of years. Does that make any sense? No. Then you know that shit was said out of spite.

If you see some areas where she might be right, then think about making slight adjustments. Notice I didn't say changes. Adjustments. Can't hurt.

[abcdefz]

...yeah; it sounds like lashing out. There's probably something specific that she's thinking of ("He won't paint the bedroom!") that maybe is or isn't legit, and that's been the catalyst to generalize. Catostrophic thinking.

Like Knox said, if you're so bad, why's she been with you this long?

It'll work out. Hopefully you two can communicate. You love each other, right? (y)

[hardnox71]

Just because she says 'selfish and lazy' doesn't mean it's true. That's what all women say about guys they are pissed at. It's the stock 'This motherfucker is no-got-damned-good' rant just like our rant is that she is 'nagging, clingy and overbearing'. We say that shit to our buddies even when we don't necessarily mean it.

Women will call us selfish if we close the bathroom door while taking a shit and lazy because we like to sleep laying down. They will call us selfish and lazy for a myriad of reasons.

Don't beat yourself up about it.

[yeahwho]

women never put the toilet seat back UP when their done in da head. :mad:

that is selfish and lazy.

[ericlee]

well, apparently you're not too lazy because being selfish takes wayyy too much effort:rolleyes:

[abcdefz]

I can't remember any girl ever calling me "lazy." "Selfish," sure -- that's fair. But not "lazy."

[mp-seventythree]

Apparently I should just offer to do all this stuff at her house. But anytime I've ever tried to use my initiative in that area she complains that I'm not doing it exactly how she wanted to, and then criticizes me for not being "handy enough", or if it's garden related I get accused of being a "townie" and not knowing what I'm doing......yet she's pissed because I don't offer to do all this stuff.

[abcdefz]

Yup. Yup. :D

That sounds familiar.

[abcdefz]

"...how do you write women so well?"

"I think of a man. Then I take away reason and accountability." :D

[mp-seventythree]

KLL - maybe I made the wrong choice all those months back....

[yeahwho]

So is Paul McCartney (http://www.ew.com/ew/article/reuters/0,24012,1195107_10_0_,00.html), your in good company.....apparently.

[mp-seventythree]

Paul McCartney married a gold digger with one leg, he deserves everything he gets

[mp-seventythree]

"...how do you write women so well?"

"I think of a man. Then I take away reason and accountability." :D

So true:rolleyes:

[Echewta]

a golddigger with one leg. I like that song.

[abcdefz]

....you're thinking of "A Horse with No Name."

[Bitchamachacha]

Yeah. Dr. Phil-I mean- Hardnox is so right.

Girls and guys don't look through the same kaleidoscope. The guy is all chill and laid back, and the whole time the girl is thinking:

"What does he think of me? Did he notice my hair? He didn't fix that, does that mean he doesn't care about me? He hates me, the stupid pig! He's sitting there thinking about how much he hates me...blah...blah..wah.."

And the laid back guy is thinking, "Dude. My ass itches. I must not have wiped good enough or some shit."

I'd ignore her until she calms down. Once she gets her emotions in order, she will probably call you all crying and hoping she didn't fuck your relationship up.

[cookiepuss]

I'd ignore her until she calms down. Once she gets her emotions in order, she will probably call you all crying and hoping she didn't fuck your relationship up.


yeah, I was going to say I beleive she'll get over it. eventually.

[supermars]

i think there are worse things to be called.

we're all a bit selfish and lazy to some degree, no?

mp, go on & be your selfish & lazy self, there is a woman out there who will look beyond that & realize you for the fantastic dude you are.

[befsquire]

Yeah. Dr. Phil-I mean- Hardnox is so right.

Girls and guys don't look through the same kaleidoscope. The guy is all chill and laid back, and the whole time the girl is thinking:

"What does he think of me? Did he notice my hair? He didn't fix that, does that mean he doesn't care about me? He hates me, the stupid pig! He's sitting there thinking about how much he hates me...blah...blah..wah.."

And the laid back guy is thinking, "Dude. My ass itches. I must not have wiped good enough or some shit."

I'd ignore her until she calms down. Once she gets her emotions in order, she will probably call you all crying and hoping she didn't fuck your relationship up.
haha!

or, the guy will be all "i don't feel i owe you an apology at all because you could have just waited in your office. no one told you to leave your desk before you talked to me." and the girl will be all upset and say "well, i think you do owe me an apology because i called you several times and you weren't answering and i didn't know where you were or what was going on so i waited almost 40 minutes and decided that i would have to start walking home now while it's still light out since you have the only car and my phone is charging at home and you have the atm card."

:(

[Bitchamachacha]

haha!

or, the guy will be all "i don't feel i owe you an apology at all because you could have just waited in your office. no one told you to leave your desk before you talked to me." and the girl will be all upset and say "well, i think you do owe me an apology because i called you several times and you weren't answering and i didn't know where you were or what was going on so i waited almost 40 minutes and decided that i would have to start walking home now while it's still light out since you have the only car and my phone is charging at home and you have the atm card."

:(

Awww, Befs.


A girl's mind is nothing but a huge run-on sentence.

[cookiepuss]

you know this IS a pretty selfish thread to start MP-73. I'm really surprised you got off you lazy ass to do it!

[befsquire]

A girl's mind is nothing but a huge run-on sentence.
that's for sure. and sometimes it adds in other perceived wrongdoings from times past that had gone unmentioned. though the girl in my hypothetical situation didn't do that this time in the hypo. perhaps the girl is wrong, though of course she doesn't think so.

[Bitchamachacha]

that's for sure. and sometimes it adds in other perceived wrongdoings from times past that had gone unmentioned. though the girl in my hypothetical situation didn't do that this time in the hypo. perhaps the girl is wrong, though of course she doesn't think so.


The woman is never wrong!

NEVER!

Aunt Flo told me so!

[fucktopgirl]

Apparently I should just offer to do all this stuff at her house. But anytime I've ever tried to use my initiative in that area she complains that I'm not doing it exactly how she wanted to, and then criticizes me for not being "handy enough", or if it's garden related I get accused of being a "townie" and not knowing what I'm doing......yet she's pissed because I don't offer to do all this stuff.

Did you explain that to her?Might help!

Anyway,man and women relationship are so complex yet can be so simple!

LIke we are constructing a big puzzle and putting piece togethers along the way!But sometime we put pieces in the wrong place so then the picture get crooked a bit!iT is a team work but compatibility is a must other wise ,it is doom to failed.I am not saying yours relationship is to failed,i am just babling now!:D And when you are a long time with a person,you can focus on their defaults or quality.And sometime you wish your other half have others attributs then the one they have and so on.ANyway the blaming game can be a Vicious circle!MAke sense?

SO yea,communication is the key to "pacht" thing up!

[enree erzweglle]

When people are stressed, they often stupid things and they usually say them to people that they feel safe with.

I get that way when I'm stressed or every other month when I'm hormonal during my period. I don't attack, but my filters go wonky and my sensitivity is heightened. A thing that I would normally screen out bothers me and I vocalize it. I'll try to fix a problem that, at other times, would be utterly ignorable.

Last winter, a guy that I've known for nearly 20 years said an incredibly awful thing to me. It was out of character for him to do that--he usually gets reclusive when he's stressed. That he was upset was understandable--we were dealing with a lot of stuff and because of the nature of it all, we could only work through it with each other. He feels safe with me so he misdirected his angst at me, verbally. What he said was hard and it's been hard for me to let that go despite his repeated lamentations. It's not about forgiveness because I absolutely understand him. It's just about [me] forgetting the actual words. We work through it because our relationship is worth an awful lot and we've been through so much together, good and bad.

[marsdaddy]

Hate is just three letters from love.

[mp-seventythree]

sometimes it adds in other perceived wrongdoings from times past that had gone unmentioned.

YES! They do that (but it's not a good thing)
:(
EDIT: Although in most cases the other wrongdoing have sometimes been mentioned before

[alexandra]

Hate is just three letters from love.
(y)

[King of Rock $]

Notice how a-z tried to turn this into a thread about him and movies

No wait actually thats not true he also said something sort of about mp73 and something about songs

Nevermind

[abcdefz]

My apologies to empee, KOR, and their friends and families.

Fortunately, empee saw through my attempted coup and deflected it with grace. (y) Kind of how Sister Prejean could so kindly dismiss Mattew Poncelet's flirtation while still treating him with dignity and respect in her Academy Award winning performance in Dead Man Walking (http://www.allmovie.com/cg/avg.dll?p=avg&sql=1:135507) (1995).

[King of Rock $]

My apologies to empee, KOR, and their friends and families.

Fortunately, empee saw through my attempted coup and deflected it with grace. (y) Kind of how Sister Prejean could so kindly dismiss Mattew Poncelet's flirtation while still treating him with dignity and respect in her Academy Award winning performance in Dead Man Walking (http://www.allmovie.com/cg/avg.dll?p=avg&sql=1:135507) (1995).

:D

quality comeback(y)

[abcdefz]

I deleted the version in which I begin denying you sex.

[hardnox71]

Apparently I should just offer to do all this stuff at her house. But anytime I've ever tried to use my initiative in that area she complains that I'm not doing it exactly how she wanted to, and then criticizes me for not being "handy enough", or if it's garden related I get accused of being a "townie" and not knowing what I'm doing......yet she's pissed because I don't offer to do all this stuff.
You are her boyfriend not her houseboy or gardner. How that fuck are you supposed to know what she wants done around her house? Tell her straight up that if she wants you to help with something then she needs to ask you. You are not a mindreader and it won't kill her to open her got-damned mouth.

This whole 'can't win for losing' thing is bullshit. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. Let her know that something's gotta change and change quick because you've had enough.