Sleazy Drunk Bastard

[ggirlballa]

i just got home from a party in compton (with my parents)and i'm pissed at this guy who was the party.


it was an all hispanic party so they played Kumbia music and this 30ish year old guy asks me to dance i'm 14 so i say ok cuz i didn't want to upset him and i was fine with dancing. so after the song was over i danced mostly with my dad cuz i'm comfotable around him. then the guy asks me again to dance to a slow song. i didn't want to but i did anyway. the guy is obivously drunk and pulls me closer to him and start rubbing against me like 3/4 times during the song.:eek: i wanted to get out of there!

the song finally finishes and i was relieved and sat with my parents.
my mom and dad were pissed at the guy so was I.

he asked me to dance again and my mom yelled at him and said in spanish

"Go ask somebody your own age and leave my daughter alone!":mad:

i'm pissed at that sleazy drunk bastard!!!!:mad:

[ericlee]

wow, thank god I'm not your pops because I would've made sure to create a scene out of him.

Believe me, I've got my ways.

I do appreciate you sharing this with me because I do have a little girl and I can tell right now that she's going to remain with her cuteness and I'm going to end up having some similar problems.

Your Moms acted perfect and I'm taking notes.

[ggirlballa]

after that he didn't ask me again and i was happy about that

after we left the party my dad kept on telling me stuff like don't dance a slow song or a song that requires close contact with somebody who isn't your age.or someone your uncomfortable with
he wasn't punishing me just advising:o

the guy danced with older woman and was grabbing them like hell and u can tell they were uncomfotable by their faces and he just didn't get the message:mad:

take care of your daughter cuz i wouldn' want sleazy guys like this up on her or anybody:(

[jabumbo]

i was a bit confused till you said your parents were there too...

[ggirlballa]

^ i edited it just now

my brother was there too for a little while then he left before the guy asked me to dance

my brother's 19 and if he was there he would have seriously knocked the guy out

[Justin]

you did say you would like to have yauch's arm around you and he's 40.:p

[Chicka B]

^Haha, that's different. Oh my God Denise, you just got molestalated! I got the same problem, I feel bad if I say no. But not after some things! Well that's a learning experience. Just think, it'd be even worse if it was your uncle. :(

[alexandra]

today's lesson: stay sober, m'kay. you might be the sleazy drunk bastard next time.

[roosta]

damn.

:(

i thought someone had finally dedicated a thread to me....

[King of Rock $]

Girls/women always talk about these kind of things like it just happens to them and they have no control over it... like its impossible for them to just say "what do you think you're doing"

I mean... what is "I wanted to get out of there" supposed to mean... If somebody is rubbing up against you and you don't like it just walk away or say something... Women always playing the victim and shit. No disrespect.

I know some of yall are gonna catch feelings and come at me with some lame insults... but fuck it this is how I feel

[Chicka B]

Have you ever been sexually harrassed? I know now a lot of you say "oh I woulda done this!" but at the time, it's really awkward and you just don't expect it. You don't know what could happen, and like if you push them away or just walk away, they might get mad and hurt you worse or just make a big scene. I mean, if you're smaller then them then you really have no control. And if he's drunk or on any drugs then it's even worse. I know what you mean by you should atleast say something though, but atleast she learned something!

[ms.peachy]

Girls/women always talk about these kind of things like it just happens to them and they have no control over it... like its impossible for them to just say "what do you think you're doing"

I mean... what is "I wanted to get out of there" supposed to mean... If somebody is rubbing up against you and you don't like it just walk away or say something... Women always playing the victim and shit. No disrespect.

I know some of yall are gonna catch feelings and come at me with some lame insults... but fuck it this is how I feel
I think you may be right in some situations, but not in this one. It's a difficult thing to generalise, because how people react to situations where they feel endangered will always vary according to their experience.

In this case, you have a child - a 14 year old girl, granted, and older child, but still, a child - who has been effectively 'cornered' by an adult man. There is no "appropriate" response that she should have to give, because she should not be put into that position. It's not as simple as 'just walk away'. She was scared. When you're scared, you don't always see the logical thing to do; and when you're a kid and an adult is pressuring you, you don't always feel you can speak up against them. Sometimes you just "freeze" and don't know what to do.

Although we're going back a ways, I can clearly remember that when I was 14, I got a fair amount of attention from men - grown men - that I didn't want. My figure filled out fairly early, so I know I looked older than 14, but some guys even when they knew, that didn't stop them trying it on with me. I often found the attention quite scary, because I really didn't know how to manage it. It felt very intimidating a lot of the time - I felt like, these men want something from me and they have more power than I do. Of course, being 14, I wanted to be liked and to feel attractive and all the things that any girl wants, but sexual attention from adult men definitely was frightening, because I was torn between wanting to be polite and respectful towards adults (as I had been raised to do) and being terrified. Lest you think I was 'bringing it on myself' by being provocative or dressing revealingly, let me assure you not - my mother used to call me "Little Miss Cover-Me-Up", and I seriously avoided wearing anything that would draw attention to my boobs and hips. I remember one time we went to the public pool and when we got there I had what in retrospect I can see was something like a panic attack, and I refused to get out of the car and sat there and cried, I was so self conscious about people - men - looking at my body.

So, to sum up - yes what you say may on the surface seem logical, but frankly, logic has nothing to do with it. Oh and I haven't even gone into the whole issue of "learned helplessness", maybe someone else will want to touch on that, I gots to go feed my baby now.

[King of Rock $]

Shit I completely missed the part about her being 14. Forget everything I just said.

Half the time I read like half of a post and form an opinion... I admit sometimes that doesn't really work.

Still for people over 18 my opinion still holds. If you don't respect yourself don't expect anyone else to do it either. I know girls who even describe themselves as being sluts... If you really feel that way about yourself you're bound to get into "situations". I'm not trying to say that I have any sort of sympathy for people who harass women or try to take advantage of their lousy self-image, but the reality is that there are a million dudes like that out there so women should guard themselves against them. If you're dancing with somebody and he's touching you in places and you don't like it you should just stop it right there. Otherwise a guy can always say something like "I thought she wanted me to..." Not that its right but the world aint perfect and guys are going to try... stuff. But of course you can't expect a 14 year old to be able to deal with this kind of stuff... I think young girls should avoid environements where something like this can happen. Good thing her parents were there.

[Planetary]

compton

lol

[hardnox71]

i just got home from a party in compton (with my parents)and i'm pissed at this guy who was the party.


it was an all hispanic party so they played Kumbia music and this 30ish year old guy asks me to dance i'm 14 so i say ok cuz i didn't want to upset him and i was fine with dancing. so after the song was over i danced mostly with my dad cuz i'm comfotable around him. then the guy asks me again to dance to a slow song. i didn't want to but i did anyway. the guy is obivously drunk and pulls me closer to him and start rubbing against me like 3/4 times during the song.:eek: i wanted to get out of there!

the song finally finishes and i was relieved and sat with my parents.
my mom and dad were pissed at the guy so was I.

he asked me to dance again and my mom yelled at him and said in spanish

"Go ask somebody your own age and leave my daughter alone!":mad:

i'm pissed at that sleazy drunk bastard!!!!:mad:
Why didn't your dad beat his ass?


i was a bit confused till you said your parents were there too...
That confused me even more. There is no way in hell my daughter is dancing with someone twice her age. And he's drunk, too? Fuck that. I'll be going to jail again the night that shit happens.

[Lyman Zerga]

a few times i got touched without wanting it, at the first time i was 7 years old (n)

[hitmonlee]

Have you ever been sexually harrassed? I know now a lot of you say "oh I woulda done this!" but at the time, it's really awkward and you just don't expect it. You don't know what could happen, and like if you push them away or just walk away, they might get mad and hurt you worse or just make a big scene. I mean, if you're smaller then them then you really have no control. And if he's drunk or on any drugs then it's even worse. I know what you mean by you should atleast say something though, but atleast she learned something!

(y)

its very awkward. you don't know what to do. i get really annoyed when i hear people say "why didn't you just do this" at the time you are confused and panicked. you don't always make the right choice.