anonymouse
05-24-2006, 03:22 PM
i am a regular here, but i wanted to post this anonymously because of the situation i am in:
it regards a girl and i am at a loss as of what to do...
in sum, i was best friends with this girl for three years, then fooled around with her, then we went seperate ways...we missed eachother, i broked her heart by sleeping with someone else, i broke my heart by breaking hers, because we were so apart and missed eachother so much it was amplified, and i came back to her to try a relationship. now i realize that i cant handle a relationship with her, and that we are much better as friends. i dont know how to tell her, i know that if i do, she will be so pissed for putting her in this situation that she wont want anything to do with me ever again. i dont want to lose her, and i dont want to lose the group of friends that we are all apart of....how do i get through this? how do i explain to her how i feel, how i dont want to sleep with her and that i just want to be friends like we used to be? is that even possible without completely destroying the relationship?
argh....heres the details if you want to know more:
it regards a girl and i am at a loss as of what to do...
we started as friends, became best friends and then one night, knowing that we might be heading seperate (graduation from uni) ways and that i might never have another chance, i kissed her. i crossed the line.
we made out all night, the next day, awkwardness set in...but we kept it going, it was so nice, and everyone else-all of our friends- always figured we were fooling around anyways because we were so close. so we continued to fool around figuring it wouldnt hurt anything because we were moving apart anyways- me out west, she staying put in the midwest.
we loved eachother, and when we split, it was hard, we said no more flirty phone conversations, that we had to let go. that didnt last...pretty soon we were having flirty phone conversations and talking about the next time we would see eachother.
then i came back for a brief while....we saw eachother first chance we had and picked up where we left off. i was leaving again, and she was staying put, and even though we knew it was going to be that way, we just didnt think about it and continued to fool around....when i left we kept talking on the phone, missing eachother a lot.
i met someone else. we fucked, and i told my old friend. it screwed up everything between her and i, and i was so afraid that i would lose her (we had talked about meeting other people at this point) forever, that i couldnt sleep. she was a best friend, and a lover.
soon thereafter, her heartbroken, and mine as well because of what i did, i realized how much i loved her and how we never really gave it a try. i was always leaving, and she was always staying, so it was sort of "convenient". we were different, but we harmonized, we were best friends and got along great and i wanted to try it...so i told her that i wanted to try it, and be committed and see if we could make it work...
we both decided that it was all or nothing, that we were either going to be together and give it a try or that it was over, and that we couldnt talk anymore....
so i came home as soon as i could, a few months later, and started slow...then it picked up fast and within the first week i was practically living with her.
now, three months later...having tried it, i know that i cant be with her...we are very different people, and i have to make too many sacrifices to keep her pleased, and it is becoming a hassle for me....i still love her, but i know now, that it is much more of a friendship type love that i am feeling...and i know that she feels more...that she wants more.
i am at a loss of what to do.
i realize that the reason i came back to her is because i was so restless, i had no home, had been travelling for so long...was so tired, and felt so bad for hurting her. i wanted familiarity, i wanted to come home and be with her...
but i was also very lost...
i really appreciate you taking the time to read this and posting any advice or comments. i gladly take constructive criticism. i really dont want to lose her completely, but i cant go on like this. thanks again.
it regards a girl and i am at a loss as of what to do...
in sum, i was best friends with this girl for three years, then fooled around with her, then we went seperate ways...we missed eachother, i broked her heart by sleeping with someone else, i broke my heart by breaking hers, because we were so apart and missed eachother so much it was amplified, and i came back to her to try a relationship. now i realize that i cant handle a relationship with her, and that we are much better as friends. i dont know how to tell her, i know that if i do, she will be so pissed for putting her in this situation that she wont want anything to do with me ever again. i dont want to lose her, and i dont want to lose the group of friends that we are all apart of....how do i get through this? how do i explain to her how i feel, how i dont want to sleep with her and that i just want to be friends like we used to be? is that even possible without completely destroying the relationship?
argh....heres the details if you want to know more:
it regards a girl and i am at a loss as of what to do...
we started as friends, became best friends and then one night, knowing that we might be heading seperate (graduation from uni) ways and that i might never have another chance, i kissed her. i crossed the line.
we made out all night, the next day, awkwardness set in...but we kept it going, it was so nice, and everyone else-all of our friends- always figured we were fooling around anyways because we were so close. so we continued to fool around figuring it wouldnt hurt anything because we were moving apart anyways- me out west, she staying put in the midwest.
we loved eachother, and when we split, it was hard, we said no more flirty phone conversations, that we had to let go. that didnt last...pretty soon we were having flirty phone conversations and talking about the next time we would see eachother.
then i came back for a brief while....we saw eachother first chance we had and picked up where we left off. i was leaving again, and she was staying put, and even though we knew it was going to be that way, we just didnt think about it and continued to fool around....when i left we kept talking on the phone, missing eachother a lot.
i met someone else. we fucked, and i told my old friend. it screwed up everything between her and i, and i was so afraid that i would lose her (we had talked about meeting other people at this point) forever, that i couldnt sleep. she was a best friend, and a lover.
soon thereafter, her heartbroken, and mine as well because of what i did, i realized how much i loved her and how we never really gave it a try. i was always leaving, and she was always staying, so it was sort of "convenient". we were different, but we harmonized, we were best friends and got along great and i wanted to try it...so i told her that i wanted to try it, and be committed and see if we could make it work...
we both decided that it was all or nothing, that we were either going to be together and give it a try or that it was over, and that we couldnt talk anymore....
so i came home as soon as i could, a few months later, and started slow...then it picked up fast and within the first week i was practically living with her.
now, three months later...having tried it, i know that i cant be with her...we are very different people, and i have to make too many sacrifices to keep her pleased, and it is becoming a hassle for me....i still love her, but i know now, that it is much more of a friendship type love that i am feeling...and i know that she feels more...that she wants more.
i am at a loss of what to do.
i realize that the reason i came back to her is because i was so restless, i had no home, had been travelling for so long...was so tired, and felt so bad for hurting her. i wanted familiarity, i wanted to come home and be with her...
but i was also very lost...
i really appreciate you taking the time to read this and posting any advice or comments. i gladly take constructive criticism. i really dont want to lose her completely, but i cant go on like this. thanks again.