Near heart-attack.

[QueenAdrock]

So I'm not afraid of spiders, but when you just put your towel down in your bathroom and start running the water to brush your teeth, and change out of your clothes to put on your jammies and rinse and spit and whatnot to turn around and see this BIG FUCKIN' SPIDER chillin INCHES away from your foot, that's heart-attack inducing. I think it's a wolf spider! There are a lot of them in MD.

It's a good inch/inch and a half in diameter, including his legs. I don't want to kill him, but I don't want him living anymore. I mean, what if I don't kill him and I wake up to find him crawling up my leg or something? But what if I do kill him and his family finds out about it and finds his scent on me and tries to take their revenge and poison me to death? ...maybe that's not spiders, it could be the dinosaurs I saw in Jurassic Park.

EITHER WAY, GROSS! (n)

[Justin]

yet another reason why you should leave Maryland:p

[QueenAdrock]

I heart Maryland. Except its spiders. And its governor. Lousy Ehrlich, fuck you AND your tuition hikes.

[Justin]

i was joking.

Anyways, i suggest you buy a shotgun

[QueenAdrock]

I totally would, but I'm sure they have laws against murdering the governor.

[Justin]

Use the spider to kill the governor. Boobie trap a shotgun inside the governors home. When the governor attempts to run out the front door, BOOOOOOOOOM!

[Justin]

geez that was evil. I'm really not a mean person, but raising your own states college tuition rates would be a good reason. I could understand out of state tuition

[QueenAdrock]

BRILLIANT!

[jabumbo]

sheer heart attack is an excellent song

[Tzar]

ya wha?

you leave the water running, go get changed, and then brush your teeth? :confused:

[enree erzweglle]

Where I live, we get these harmless, nearly translucent, timid spiders. Charlotte types of spiders. They basically curl up in a ball when they're approached. Still, I'll see one and will be all fuck, it's a spider get him out do it quick and my Australian friends go, "That's not a spider."

So I thought they were kidding until I went to Australia and saw some of their garden variety sorts of spiders that you maybe will find on a wall in your Australian study or whatnot.

Damn you, you skittery Huntsman (http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:RDJxCYZXJOuUhM:http://icu-web.org/icuweb/images/677/original.jpg) spider. You're harmless but you're in my Australian friends' houses and you're fiercely big and you make sprawling stains on the walls after you've been squished. :eek: :eek: It's those thoughts that come to me whenever my friends try to talk me into moving there: your Aussie spiders, man. Fuck that. I want to be where the spiders are humble. (lb)

[Tzar]

FUCKIN' FUCK!!
HUNTSMANS!! :(

i hate them so hard. i bet if i was in one of the Saw movies, huntsmans would be used in my 'trap'/'game'. (n)

[Randetica]

i searched for wolf spiders and it showed up different kind of spiders but all huge and gross

[Freebasser]

I hate harvestmen (http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/lw2j/Thumbnails/Misc/4213_harvestman_tn.jpg). They're like hovering ghost blobs :(

[Rock]

Why don't you catch it in something (a plastic cup, tupperware, that type of shit) put a paper towel over it and throw it outside? Thats what I do for my arachnophobic better half. She hates them, but won't let me kill them. This way everyone wins. The spider lives, and its one less spider in the house to worry about.

[fucktopgirl]

thoses are innofensives ,i do believe!I was refering to freebaser spider!

http://www.ipm.ucdavis.edu/PMG/PESTNOTES/pn7488.html
we got this fucker around here!

[enree erzweglle]

Why don't you catch it in something (a plastic cup, tupperware, that type of shit) put a paper towel over it and throw it outside? Thats what I do for my arachnophobic better half. She hates them, but won't let me kill them. This way everyone wins. The spider lives, and its one less spider in the house to worry about.I use a thing that's left over from when my son was a kid. It's a bug viewer--a plastic, flat-sided chamber with a slotted door on the bottom. You open the door, put the open-end of the chamber up to the bug, slot the door closed, and then carry the bug outside. The beauty of it: it has a long handle so you can be brave when you trap the bug. You just have to make sure that he's in the upper part of the chamber before you slot the door closed or you'll squish him.

I bought it at a K-Mart maybe 10 years ago for like $1. They still sell them in toy stores but if you're buying this just to save creepy bugs, make sure you don't get the deluxe viewer--they have magnifying lenses on top. No sense compounding the trauma. (lb) :)

I also have a bug vacuum (a long-tubed sucky thing) that does not work. I mean it works, it is just not effective. Not enough suckiness and I think it just irritates the bug and it certainly lets him onto you, so you lose the element of surprise. (n)

[Randetica]

I hate spiders and insects in general. Well not 'hate'...I don't wish them any harm but they are scary!

word
only a very few cute insects i can think of

[enree erzweglle]

word
only a very few cute insects i can think ofI read recently that people exertminate ladybugs (http://members.tripod.com/llladybug/lbuggifs2/kitten_lbug.jpg). Which I guess is understandable if you've got swarms of them in your house, but that's rare, I think. They migrate to the insides of my house each fall through tiny cracks in the mortar and only a few make it back out again come spring. I love them. I hear they're stinky or they leave a stinky trail when they're stressed, but I've never noticed that.

I will save any bug that gets into my house except for carpenter ants and centipedes. I can't tolerate either one, especially centipedes. Too creepy.

If I move to Australia, I swear, I'll tent and fumigate wherever I live numerous times a year. Fuck potential nerve damage.

[ericlee]

poor spider, I would've let it crawl aboard my hand and then I'd let it outside.

I love spiders.

[abcdefz]

"I've been killing my own spiders since I was thirty."

[Randetica]

yeah ladybugs are cute and so are ants and bumblebees and fruit flies and snails and maybe rain worms in their gross way maybe a few others..

THESE (http://www.paros.de/Bilder/Fauna/Sonstige/Tausendfuessler/schnurfuss%203.JPG) are in my opinion the grossest insects ever

[enree erzweglle]

yeah ladybugs are cute and so are ants and bumblebees and fruit flies and snails and maybe rain worms in their gross way maybe a few others..

THESE (http://www.paros.de/Bilder/Fauna/Sonstige/Tausendfuessler/schnurfuss%203.JPG) are in my opinion the grossest insects everYes, yes. Those things. When they're in the house--I put my cat on them. Yowza.

I read somewhere once that if you're careful, you can pet a bumblebee. My kid and I tried it and I swear to God, that bee turned around, looked at us nearly over his bee-shoulder, and then chased us.

[Tzar]

FUCKIN FUCK!! why am i so curious.. now i ain't gonna get to sleep. :(

edit: fuckin' thanks a million, randy. that really helped seeing that cunt.

[Randetica]

anytime darling

[NON]

Just fucking stomp the shit out of the spiders and then go on to commit spider genocide.

[cosmo105]

ladybugs bite sometimes. i've been bitten by them on 3 separate incidents.

fuck ladybugs.

[NON]

The best insect is a tick, especially when it infects people with lyme disease.

[cosmo105]

no one ever believes me (http://www.gardensalive.com/article.asp?ai=649&bhcd2=1148576654)

no, i swear to god. once at my mom's while outside the pool. one flew on me and i let it walk around my arm...and i noticed it rearing up its head, then settling down...and then chomp. it just felt like a pinprick but it startled the hell out of me. it bit me two more times. my boyfriend at the time didn't believe me until it flew on him and bit him too.


it's happened to me a couple of other times too.

[Randetica]

im trying not to kill any insects

im having two moth traps though
im tired of them owning my room

[beastieangel01]

we were getting an assload of daddy long legs in our apartment. Actually, it's been that way since the day we moved in! We'd see at least two to four of various sizes EVERY DAY.

Suddenly, within the past week, we haven't seen one.

weird.

[Ace42X]

House bound spiders should be killed. Evolution inducingly. When they learn to stay the fuck away from me, instinctually speaking, they can live.

[cosmo105]

^word to that. i wish there was some way i could have an invisible force field all around me like a hamster ball through which no insects or parasites could ever pass. i may be vegan, but seriously, fuck spiders. they can die. you guys all complain about them big hairy relatively harmless ones, but you don't have these (http://www.ambulance-chaser.net/images/BlackWidow%20004.jpg) evil (http://www.friendsofsaguaro.org/blackwidow.jpg) beasts (http://www.whatsthatbug.com/images/black_widow_hearts.jpg) in your garage, at your school, under your car, under your sink, in the corners of your room.

[alexandra]

ladybugs bite sometimes. i've been bitten by them on 3 separate incidents.

fuck ladybugs.
wow, ladybugs. killer. that must've hurt. :p

one took a piss in my hand once. hahaha.

[cosmo105]

that's actually a little yellow goo they secrete when they're scared or something. i think dipdipdive does the same thing.

and damnit, it did hurt a little.

[voltanapricot]

beasts (http://www.whatsthatbug.com/images/black_widow_hearts.jpg)
The heart-shaped marking of this one makes it look like a love bug, not a 'HOLY SHIT SHIT SHIT WANK TIT MOTHER FACK I'M GOING TO DIE' response inducing bug.

Spiders are fascinating. I like them. Then again I am in the safer part of the hemisphere.

[cosmo105]

yeah, it does look a little bit valentine's-y. i've always been very fascinated by spiders too, but at the same time completely terrified of them. i can let a jumping spider hop across my hand, but i'll scream at a daddy longlegs and insult its family until it's flushed down the bathtub. then my boyfriend makes me feel bad about the family it's leaving behind :( and then i freak out because seeing one spider means there are about 300 more of its siblings around here somewhere.


matt's the gallant one that will put a spider in a cup and let it free outside...meanwhile i'm stomping a black widow's guts out with boots and dousing it in WD-40 and lighter fluid and taping it to a groundflower firework...

[Randetica]

we only have pussy(small) sized spiders

[abcdefz]

The bugs I hate are earwigs. Not really "hate," but --

The first time I ever saw one, a friend and I were just chilling, sitting on the floor, and suddenly BAM! this needle-like pinch on my thigh. What the fuck!? I looked, and there was the nastiest looking bug crawling through the carpet. We examined it, then flushed it. Ugly things. Ugly ugly ugly things. I'd never seen one before.

[cosmo105]

ugh, those are awful too. the way their little carapices SNAP when you step on them is really satisfying, though.

[Bob]

House bound spiders should be killed. Evolution inducingly. When they learn to stay the fuck away from me, instinctually speaking, they can live.

this is my philosophy exactly. except it applies to all creepy looking things, like flies, ants, centipedes, silverfish (fuck these guys), worms (ok, i don't have worms in my house, but still), anything that doesn't belong there. if they're in my house, i feel no remorse for murdering them. i leave them alone as best i can outside, but inside, yeah, they need to learn not to be there.

[abcdefz]

ugh, those are awful too. the way their little carapices SNAP when you step on them is really satisfying, though.


...haven't experienced that. With bugs that bug me, I usually unspool about a dozen squares of toilet paper and snag the creature in that. -- enough padding that I can't even feel the damned thing.

[cosmo105]

yeah but then sometimes that cushions the squishing pressure too much and they survive and then they crawl across the back of your hand when you think they're already dead and for a split second you go HOLY SHIT ZOMBIE SPIDER and then you can't find it and you have to leave the house for a few weeks

[Bob]

...haven't experienced that. With bugs that bug me, I usually unspool about a dozen squares of toilet paper and snag the creature in that. -- enough padding that I can't even feel the damned thing.

that's my method, too. i can't stand to feel them.

[abcdefz]

yeah but then sometimes that cushions the squishing pressure too much and they survive and then they crawl across the back of your hand when you think they're already dead and for a split second you go HOLY SHIT ZOMBIE SPIDER and then you can't find it and you have to leave the house for a few weeks


No no no -- I pinch them in the toilet paper and then drop it face down into the toilet and flush. (y)

[Bob]

No no no -- I pinch them in the toilet paper and then drop it face down into the toilet and flush. (y)

yeah, i make a little inescapable toilet paper prison with my fist, then i drop it in the toilet. i don't generally consider myself a sadist, but unfortunately i get a little satisfaction out of watching them flail their legs as they go down. at least i don't pee on them....anymore

[enree erzweglle]

that's actually a little yellow goo they secrete when they're scared or something. i think dipdipdive does the same thing.This made me laugh out loud. :D

[abcdefz]

Yeah -- I don't do that. Flush 'em as quick as possible to their watery graves.

It's their own fault for being ugly. Nasty. Creepy. Crawly.

Creepy... crawly

Creepy...crawly

Creepycreepy

Crawlycrawly

Creepycreepy

Crawlycrawly

[QueenAdrock]

Why don't you catch it in something (a plastic cup, tupperware, that type of shit) put a paper towel over it and throw it outside? Thats what I do for my arachnophobic better half. She hates them, but won't let me kill them. This way everyone wins. The spider lives, and its one less spider in the house to worry about.

I would, but I'm totally afraid that if I get near him with a plastic cup, he's going to see through my plan of uprooting him from his habitat and will run up and over the cup and sink his fangs into my flesh. :(

On a side note, even scarier was this morning when I woke up and he wasn't there. I shook out all my towels, and looked around my bathroom...not there. I know he's biding his time.

Another side note - I heard the average human swallows 3 spiders in their sleep per year.

[QueenAdrock]

^word to that. i wish there was some way i could have an invisible force field all around me like a hamster ball through which no insects or parasites could ever pass. i may be vegan, but seriously, fuck spiders. they can die. you guys all complain about them big hairy relatively harmless ones, but you don't have these (http://www.ambulance-chaser.net/images/BlackWidow%20004.jpg) evil (http://www.friendsofsaguaro.org/blackwidow.jpg) beasts (http://www.whatsthatbug.com/images/black_widow_hearts.jpg) in your garage, at your school, under your car, under your sink, in the corners of your room.

Holy shit. Ain't those fuckers highly poisonous? Right behind the brown fiddler, I think it's called. At least in America.

I've only seen black widows in the Smithsonian. I was with Brett at the time too. He* screamed like a little girl.











































































*I

[cosmo105]

they're venomous, but for most people the bite only leads to about 48 hours of excrutiating pain. unless you're one of the few that has an allergic reaction to it. then it's more like 2 weeks. the only people that die from it are usually the sick, the elderly, the very young. you know, the expendable ones. J.K. ROWLING!

and the brown recluse usually doesn't kill, although its venom is more powerful than the black widow...its bites are gnarly, though, and can cause serious tissue damage. think: dead skin. all over the place. black. gooey. gross. thankfully those don't really exist around so cal.

what i've found that's funny about those two spiders is that so cal natives aren't too afraid of the black widow...we know it's pretty dangerous, but they're so common and pretty reclusive that we just walk right by them. whereas if a brown recluse happens to show up in a person's house in the countryside, there's about 14 different major newspapers with week-long stories about it. same thing with the black widow in the south.


and earthquakes vs. hurricanes, now that i think about it.

[Medellia]

these (http://www.ambulance-chaser.net/images/BlackWidow%20004.jpg) evil (http://www.friendsofsaguaro.org/blackwidow.jpg) beasts (http://www.whatsthatbug.com/images/black_widow_hearts.jpg)
Ugh. In Louisiana our mailbox was infested with them. Got to the point where we had to rent a post office box just so we didn't risk death whenever we checked the mail. And when I was eight or nine my mom woke me up one morning and when she pulled back the covers there was a dead one curled up at the foot of my bed. Was so lucky the little bitch didn't bite me in my sleep. :(

[Medellia]

Yeah -- I don't do that. Flush 'em as quick as possible to their watery graves.

It's their own fault for being ugly. Nasty. Creepy. Crawly.

Creepy... crawly

Creepy...crawly

Creepycreepy

Crawlycrawly

Creepycreepy

Crawlycrawly
I should've known there would be a Boris reference in this thread. :rolleyes:

[Tzar]

meanwhile i'm stomping a black widow's guts out with boots and dousing it in WD-40 and lighter fluid and taping it to a groundflower firework...
and that's the fuckin' way it should be!

aren't black widows ONLY native to australia. maybe i'm thinking trap door spiders? or them other ones? that stand up when they're harassed?

[Tzar]

actually that would funnel-webs i'm thinking of