For the first time

[Echewta]

I


finally


used the cell phone in the bathroom. It was an emergency call at work so i had to take it. I feel horrible. Luckily, nobody was in the bathroom when I was talking.

:(

Not all Steve McQueen movies are good.

[TurdBerglar]

so what was the emergency?

[Echewta]

some tables were missing in one of my rooms. Some emergency, eh?

[beastiegirrl101]

why didnt they just call your desk then?

[Echewta]

Because they needed the tables right away and i was in my second office.

[beastiegirrl101]

you must have been in there a long time then, huh?

wink wink.

[miss soul fire]

Were you peeing or doing number 2?? If so, do you think the person on the phone heard the pee/poo noise??

[Echewta]

I was throwing a duece but I doubt they heard me. I had already done most of the dirty work.

I wasn't in there to long. I don't eat much meat.

[marsdaddy]

I'll never forget my first time.

I took a couple of calls there when mrs. marsdaddy was preggers -- I figured there would be a place to do that business at the hospital, if needed.

One time, after a particularly important reminder to "pick up milk", I was rushing to get her off the phone, when some guy comes in, jabbering on the phone, pre-flushes, then proceeds to tell the other party, "I'm in the water closet, so ignore the teeth gnashing." Mrs. marsdaddy told me, "call me when you're out of there" and hung up!

[paul jones]

I love going to the toilet at work,it means less time doing actual work. Always go in THEIR time too, not on your breaks

[voltanapricot]

I haven't changed my ringtone from The Chipmunks theme tune that I set for laughs. I ask you, what is more cringey, talking on the loo on the dog and bone or having "WE'RE THE CHIPMUNKS, GUARANTEED TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAAAAYY" blaring from your phone with everybody in the toilets listening in as you scramble frantically to turn it off?

[Freebasser]

I love talking on the toilet so that people can hear my gorgeous bowel movements from the other end of the country.

[paul jones]

I love talking on the toilet so that people can hear my gorgeous bowel movements from the other end of the country.
you could tell them your at the swimming pool next to the diving board

[ericlee]

I work in a brand new building, complete with everything. Everything but a bathroom.

I don't know what the hell happened but, one of my coworkers even made the whole floorplan for this place which included a bathroom but it was built without one.

Needless to say, we have a porta-john outside in which we take care of our business in.

For one thing, when I have to number 2, I do as they do in India because I hate that everytime I've sat directly on the seat, I've gotten splash back.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I will never use the phone while on the toilet at work. I try to take care of my business fast and prompt.

[jabumbo]

I work in a brand new building, complete with everything. Everything but a bathroom.


isn't that illegal or something?

[ericlee]

isn't that illegal or something?

not sure. This building did exist previously but alot of changes have been made which I say it's a brand new building.

There's a bathroom but it's on the other side of the building which is for a different company. It's still there and we can use it but I don't feel like closing the shop up everytime I've got to go.

However, along with the new additions to the building, there was supposed to be another bathroom but it never happened.

[Vic Colfari]

This reminds me of a report I saw on TV.

They used an edible chemical that glows under ultraviolet light when it gets in contact with urine. They put it in peanuts at a bar. 15 minutes later they switched a UV light on - all the peanut jars were glowing like light bulbs!!!

[jabumbo]

This reminds me of a report I saw on TV.

They used an edible chemical that glows under ultraviolet light when it gets in contact with urine. They put it in peanuts at a bar. 15 minutes later they switched a UV light on - all the peanut jars were glowing like light bulbs!!!



some people need to leaern how to piss in the toilet and not on their hands

[beastiegirrl101]

^never take any candy, nuts, mints...ANYTHING from a bar / restaurant that isnt wrapped. For that exact reason.

[Waus]

I once told a friend I was "pouring concrete" when I was on the phone headed to the bathroom.


2 days later - "wait, what exactly were you pouring concrete for?"

[hardnox71]

^never take any candy, nuts, mints...ANYTHING from a bar / restaurant that isnt wrapped. For that exact reason.
I've watched Nightline and 20/20 and shows of the sort where they did studies on the popcorn/beernuts found in bars. I forget what the percentage was but a pretty high number of the snack baskets they tested were found to have traces of fecal matter.

That is so fucking nasty.

[hardnox71]

I once told a friend I was "pouring concrete" when I was on the phone headed to the bathroom.


2 days later - "wait, what exactly were you pouring concrete for?"
I worked for this one firm at the Board of Trade where the common euphamism for taking a dump was 'I gotta go drop the kids off'.

If you took too long in the washroom then when you got back to your desk everyone would ask you, "Hey, you were gone a long time, Slacker. How many fucking kids you got?" You would then be accused of trying to duck doing any work by hiding out in the shitter.