Qdrop
06-01-2006, 11:21 AM
yeah, this story just has to be told.
so i get woken out of sound sleep last night by this bizarre chattering sound outside our bedroom door.
like when a CD gets stuck in the player and keep squeeling.
"jenny!, do you hear that"
"yeah"
"the fuck is it .....how long has it been going on?"
"a while...i was waiting for you to do something."
awesome, thanks.
so i get up, and our dog starts growling at the bedroom door too (she sleeps in the room with us)...
the chattering sound is moving around the hall...and getting closer.
i really don't think a burglar would break into our house and make chattering sounds....nor was i under the assumption that aliens, ghosts, or zombies do so either.
but i wasn't taking any chances.
i pounded on our door real hard and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!"
the chattering continued.
i don't know what the fuck this thing is...i was just dreaming about robots and shit....i couldn't think straight.
i yelled to the dog "fuck it, time to earn your keep...GO GET IT!"
and opened the door.
our dog runs out barking....i don't have my glasses on...it's pitch dark...i can barely see what the fuck is going on...
but i see the cat running around in the hallway...and the chattering/squeeling is coming from her...apparently....she keeps running from room to room making this sound....
then runs downstairs....chattering all the way.
dude, our dog just froze. what a fuckin pansy.
then i realized....our cat wasn't chattering- whatever it was chasing/holding in it's mouth was squeeling.
oh shit, god...
please no....
i put my glasses on....walk downstairs....turn on the light.
the cat has it pinned in the corner.
*please let it just be a bird*
fuck.
it's a bat.
probably about 8 inches tip to tip.
the cat has it pinned like a fuckin UFC grappler and is just munching on it's wings.
oh god.
it's squeeling and flapping around.
and the cat is fuckin loving it. she let's it go, pats it...then when it starts to fly around...OUR CAT DOES THESE FUCKIN FLYING LEAPS AND GRAPPLES IT IN ON MID AIR AND PINS IT TO THE GROUND.
i'm running around the living room "IT'S IN MY HAIR! IT'S IN MY HAIR...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
at one point, it's flappin around and the cat sprints, LEAPS OFF THE SIDE OF THE COUCH AND CATCHES IT MID-AIR, like a fuckin John Woo movie.
my cat is fuckin Jet Li.
if i wasn't so eeked out, i would have clapped.
but seeing as how the sight of bats turns me into a 6 year old girl...it was all i could do to get a bucket from downstairs and throw it on top....slide it along the floor (with the fuckin bad squeeling and flapping around and the cat launching itself at the bucket) until i get to the deck door...then i just open the screen and kick the fuckin bucket over...and the bat just flops around outside...it's wings were too mangled to fly.
god damn.
that cat, though....
it's my fuckin hero.
i love it way more then the dog now.
so i get woken out of sound sleep last night by this bizarre chattering sound outside our bedroom door.
like when a CD gets stuck in the player and keep squeeling.
"jenny!, do you hear that"
"yeah"
"the fuck is it .....how long has it been going on?"
"a while...i was waiting for you to do something."
awesome, thanks.
so i get up, and our dog starts growling at the bedroom door too (she sleeps in the room with us)...
the chattering sound is moving around the hall...and getting closer.
i really don't think a burglar would break into our house and make chattering sounds....nor was i under the assumption that aliens, ghosts, or zombies do so either.
but i wasn't taking any chances.
i pounded on our door real hard and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK!"
the chattering continued.
i don't know what the fuck this thing is...i was just dreaming about robots and shit....i couldn't think straight.
i yelled to the dog "fuck it, time to earn your keep...GO GET IT!"
and opened the door.
our dog runs out barking....i don't have my glasses on...it's pitch dark...i can barely see what the fuck is going on...
but i see the cat running around in the hallway...and the chattering/squeeling is coming from her...apparently....she keeps running from room to room making this sound....
then runs downstairs....chattering all the way.
dude, our dog just froze. what a fuckin pansy.
then i realized....our cat wasn't chattering- whatever it was chasing/holding in it's mouth was squeeling.
oh shit, god...
please no....
i put my glasses on....walk downstairs....turn on the light.
the cat has it pinned in the corner.
*please let it just be a bird*
fuck.
it's a bat.
probably about 8 inches tip to tip.
the cat has it pinned like a fuckin UFC grappler and is just munching on it's wings.
oh god.
it's squeeling and flapping around.
and the cat is fuckin loving it. she let's it go, pats it...then when it starts to fly around...OUR CAT DOES THESE FUCKIN FLYING LEAPS AND GRAPPLES IT IN ON MID AIR AND PINS IT TO THE GROUND.
i'm running around the living room "IT'S IN MY HAIR! IT'S IN MY HAIR...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
at one point, it's flappin around and the cat sprints, LEAPS OFF THE SIDE OF THE COUCH AND CATCHES IT MID-AIR, like a fuckin John Woo movie.
my cat is fuckin Jet Li.
if i wasn't so eeked out, i would have clapped.
but seeing as how the sight of bats turns me into a 6 year old girl...it was all i could do to get a bucket from downstairs and throw it on top....slide it along the floor (with the fuckin bad squeeling and flapping around and the cat launching itself at the bucket) until i get to the deck door...then i just open the screen and kick the fuckin bucket over...and the bat just flops around outside...it's wings were too mangled to fly.
god damn.
that cat, though....
it's my fuckin hero.
i love it way more then the dog now.