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View Full Version : Two crap jokes i heard today


Guy Incognito
06-13-2006, 01:16 PM
One is crap ,long winded, rude and reasonably offensive to women, the other is just crap.

3 couples are getting married in a joint ceremony (not like the moonies or anything, they are all friends or something and not in a swingers type way..its a joke okay!)
Right ...3 couples are getting married in a joint ceremony and after they have all said i do and the alcohol is flowing , all the grooms are talking about what sort of "action" they are going to experience on the wedding night with thier better halves.
Bloke 1 : "Which one of us will have sex the most, I wonder"
Bloke 2 : "We should tell each other tomorrow"
Bloke 3 : "We should have some sort of code cos if the wives catch us talkin - we'll be for the high jump."
Bloke 1 : " I know , when we order breakfast tomorrow, order one slice of toast for everytime you have sex"
Blokes 2 + 3: "champion idea!"

So next morning , evrybody is in the hotel at breakfast.

Bloke 1 :" Can i have full english breakfast and 3 slices of toast"
Bloke 2 : " Can i have full english, no tomatoes and 4 slices of toast"
Bloke 3 " Can I have full english and 6 slices of toast"
Blokes 1 & 2 are looking at bloke 3 with awe and as the waitress is going to prepare his order Bloke 3 says "Can you make two of those toasts brown please!"

Like i said - very poor.

Did you hear about the two TV aerials who got married. The ceremony was shit but the reception was brilliant!.

abcdefz
06-13-2006, 01:18 PM
I might've gotten this from here, but I had reason to tell it to a workmate today:

What's the difference between brocolli and boogers?














































Kids will EAT boogers!

Bob
06-13-2006, 01:21 PM
it's true, it's funny and true