When to say "I Love You"

[DandyFop]

Yes, I know it's been discussed before. But i haven't been in this situation for a while. I know a lot of people say "you'll know when it's right". I'm not trying to jump the gun either, and be delusional considering the relationship I'm in has been for about two months. But it's hard because I really do feel like that....it's not the butterfly thing, it's not lust... There are people who say things like "you might regret it later if you never got the chance to say it" or some shit. I don't know. I'm not going to though, for a while....it's important to see things through more to make sure that it's really love that's happening here. And I would most likely wait for him to say it. But it's still a delicate matter of the actual words forming.

Stories? Opinions?

edit: god, as I entered this post I just started thinking about how weird it is that there's this giant pressure behind these three words and all the bullshit that surrounds them. Like you're supposed to be able to fill out some kind of form and submit it to yourself and be like "alright...yes...yes...that checks out...well, it looks like I love that guy!". I don't know, I'm rambling.

[kate]

the first time joe told me he loved me was on april fools day. he was like "pssstt... i love you!" and i was like "awww, i lo..." - "APRIL FOOLS YOU MORON!" then i was sad. but i told him i guess i love him too anyway. and now we mostly hate each other! so i guess i don't suggest starting off your I LOVE YOUs on april first.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I don't remember when I said "I love you" first to my ex. I just remember that I said, "I think I'm falling in love with you" on valentine's day in a hotel room downtown and then we had terrific sex. then watched a documentary on architecture on PBS and smoked cigarettes. then after that we kind of just said, "I love you" pretty easily.

I really don't know what love means though.

[abcdefz]

If you feel the urge coming on to say "I love you," I'd say resist it until you know damned well that you do. You can't take that one back. And don't say it because you want to manipulate some situation -- including finding out if the other person loves you back. Saying something like that is a gift and implies a certain amount of commitment; make sure your love is unselfish first.

[g-mile7]

Never. Just do it Swayze style


she/he saids love you just reply "ditto"

[Sarky Devotchka]

oh yeah, and once my college boyfriend told me, "I think I love you" and I said, "oh, that's nice" and we were never the same after.

[DIGI]

I've never had any tension concerning the phrase. Most of my previous girlfriends were never shy about saying it. My first college girlfriend told me she loved me on our second date and I was all "Damn, bitch!" But eventually I got used to her saying it, so it wasn't that big of a deal and I found myself saying it back just to appease her. She was one that didn't shy away from public shows of affection. Did it work out? No. Was it kinda awkward? Maybe. Did it lead to me getting my weenus licked on a regular basis? Yes.

In closing, I'd just like to say, Barb, that I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Maybe the pressure is coming from an external source like nosy family members or whatnot that's giving you this anxiety. Grain of salt, bitch. It's not a big deal. When your time is right, the words will effortlessly flow and you'll realize what a fool you were for worrying.

[abcdefz]

Never. Just do it Swayze style


she/he saids love you just reply "ditto"


...that's bound to break her heart a little and become a fairly important plot point.

[DIGI]

Nobody puts Barbie in the corner!!!!!!!!!

[Sarky Devotchka]

you mean baby?

[DIGI]

look up quick!!!!!!!! shit, you missed it.

[QueenAdrock]

Well, I would think that if you wanted to play it safe, say something in-between like "I think I'm falling in love with you..." and see what he says. Because it's not quite as heavy as "I AM in love with you," and a lack of reciprocation might not be that damaging.

[Mrs_Princess]

My boyfriend said it to me first.... I think it was love at first sight or something but he said it a few days after we had been talking... and he still says it... and I love him too!

[SobaViolence]

my ex called me her knight in shinning armour, then i joked 'you love me, you loooooove me!'

we both laughed. then she said 'i think you're right.'
i loved her like no one else.
but circumstances change, time changes you and objectivity sets in.

eventhough i did love her. now, it's the like an antique, you look at it for how pretty it is in its age and obsoleteness, quaint, meaningful, yet uncomfortable and no longer useful.

you can admit you love him, but it also depends on the guy. there is no rush.

[befsquire]

i'm not telling you i love you until you reply in the fucking thread i started for you.

brat.

[g-mile7]

...that's bound to break her heart a little and become a fairly important plot point.


I'm glad you got that joke(y)

[ampm]

Don't say it until you get anal. Otherwise, you'll never get to rock that ass.

[na§tee]

(!) it's not really that big of a deal.
if you mean it, say it.
don't worry about the right time, the right electromagnetic energy, the right whatever. don't worry about if they think it "back" or not. don't worry about the consequences. it's not a nasty thing you're saying to them, lordy!
if you over analyse things you'll just get too scared.

[g-mile7]

words with so much power.

[DandyFop]

Love has always been a difficult thing for me to embrace
I have expressed the words *I Love You* in a few close relationships I have had
Later to realize it wasnt actually love

Now the words arent as easily expressed as I have gotten older
Words are cheap, I would prefer to say it now when I truely mean it.

Yes....when I was younger and was always getting involved with crazy fast and intense relationships, it felt like love but only after a matter of days. I know the difference now.

[DandyFop]

In closing, I'd just like to say, Barb, that I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Maybe the pressure is coming from an external source like nosy family members or whatnot that's giving you this anxiety. Grain of salt, bitch. It's not a big deal. When your time is right, the words will effortlessly flow and you'll realize what a fool you were for worrying.

I'm not really worrying about it though, and I don't think I'm putting pressure on myself really. It's just that many times I will find myself looking at him and feeling it, basically. I know the instant it happened the first time and it was just such a great feeling. I'm not going to worry about it too much, hopefully it will come in time...it's just strange to have this complete and fulfilling thing that I'm not very used to.

And I can't say "I think I'm falling in love with you...", I don't know why, that's just...even weirder in this situation.

[Echewta]

I love all of you.

[befsquire]

oh, that's nice. well, guess i'll just go post on that other board. see you around, chewy.










barb: i agree with na§tee.

[zippo]

i think the concept of there actually being a correct time in a relationship to say the words "i love you" is something the movie era age group has ridiculously been brainwashed with...there is no spoon

[monkey]

i said it on the second date. but he said it on the first.

[DandyFop]

I'm pretty sure it's gonna happen soon. The anticipation is nice though. I'm excited but it feels good waiting for it too...because I can feel it coming from him, either way.

:)

Life is good.

Skye - yeah...I'm glad I've waited. But obviously every situation is different...

[fucktopgirl]

i think the concept of there actually being a correct time in a relationship to say the words "i love you" is something the movie era age group has ridiculously been brainwashed with...there is no spoon


yea totally, you say it when you feel it, that all!

For me this phrase has lost it importance as i did hear it too much, as often as i change my panty, nothing wrong with that but more you say it , more it can loose it's power too.

"i love you" can be said anytime but not all the time tho!

[DandyFop]

It keeps coming close to slipping out, not all seriously but just being like "aw I love you!", and I have to watch myself closely!!

Because as fucktop says, once it's out of the bag, there it is! It can just be tossed around.

Which is why I'm now realizing that enjoying this time beforehand is just as fun.

A girl I worked with had been going out with her boyfriend 8 months, they were moving in together, and they still hadn't said it! I think it might be because she'd been married twice before, and putting your emotions out there gets a lot harder after that.

[zippo]

coming soon to a theater near you...





edit-uhoh, it looks like im trying to be a dick with this comment so ill be clear just in case,weve all got diff opinions, i love you

[DandyFop]

I am bumping this thread because it happened and it was fucking perfect and awesome and that is all

[beastiegirrl101]

yay love!

[Rock]

did you say it first or did he?

[hpdrifter]

I posted a similar thread to this when I first got with my boyfriend.

I'm glad it happened naturally.

[DandyFop]

did you say it first or did he?

I was in a weird mood and I was starting to leave at like 4 a.m., also because I was dying of fucking heat in his apt. but for some reason I just felt like being at home, and it freaked him out because it reminded him of something with an ex. (he never brings up old girlfriends so I knew this must have been something big..) He was upset and I was really nervous and I told him about the moment when I realized I was in love with him, and he was like "i love you too...I've been wanting to say it, but it's so scary", and OMGGGG I'm sorry I just shared this gooey personal story with you all but it was so great yesss.