DandyFop
06-15-2006, 04:47 PM
I fucking hate drama to the nth degree. I can't really handle some of the drama happening between my friends right now, and I can't handle being in the middle either. Not that I'm not guilty of being a part of this mess. Being the messenger often means trying to influence people one way or the other also.
A close friend of mine feels somewhat alienated from the rest of the group. It's hard because I see things from both sides of the story. She's totally obssessed with soccer now (Salt Lake just got a pro soccer team last year), and honestly she is more happy and healthy than I have seen her in years (not having a debilitating crush on a total dumbass who occasionally uses heroin is a big part of it). But the problem is that she talks about it constantly, because it's always on her mind.
Obviously, that makes sense, when you are really into something you talk about it a lot. I am truly guilty of this, like my recent thing with The Office, or if I really like a boy, etc. But when most of the people you hang out with can't really relate much to what you talk about 80% of the time, it can be hard and it can get annoying. And even if she didn't talk about it that often, you can tell that she wants to, and that most other conversation she's giving just so it can seem like she's not talking about it that much. Does that make sense? I don't know. Yet at the same time she's one of those people that you always feel the need to please, so I try to get a little involved and know what she's talking about. It's working out pretty well that way. I still feel badly though about talking about it behind her back - about how annoying it is that it's all she talks about. I'm not doing it as much now, but a month or so ago was awful.
It got to the point that, one night, we were all hanging out at someone's house, and she wasn't there. The previous evening, she'd ran her mouth off about the soccer team the entire time (and she was being rude also which didn't help), and I just was sick of hearing about it the next day. So we decided to sabotage the situation slightly, and when we heard she was coming over, we decided to play a board game we knew she'd have absolutely no interest in. When she could see that most of us weren't interested in hearing her story about something to do with the soccer players, she left. It worked, but it was fucking ridiculous and childish that we had to do that. On both ends.
So this has turned into something else, which is another friend of ours who is also somewhat childish, who has decided that she has replaced him with other friends now, etc. I tried to tell him to please just realize that it's good for her and it will be okay but he doesn't seem to think so. As a result, there is some division happening in my group of friends, to the point where people aren't getting invited to things, and in general it just seems awkward. People seem annoyed sometimes that I want to hang out with my boyfriend as much as I do. But a big reason is because he's so laid back and I don't have to deal with any of this bullshit. It's stressing me the fuck out. I got my diploma in the mail today, but I'm too stressed out about what's going on with my friends to be happy about it.
So I'm going on strike, for this weekend at least. I'm asking all who are in this circle of friends to refrain from calling me, because I just don't want to talk about it anymore. I have a lot of things that I'd rather do for myself that don't involve this. I'm hoping some kind of communication can start between people, or something.
But what the fuck else can I do? Sorry I know this is a long post, and there are many details left out, but you get the general gist. So frustrating being in the middle of this kind of stuff. But that's what happens when people don't actually fucking COMMUNICATE. Argh.
Advice?
A close friend of mine feels somewhat alienated from the rest of the group. It's hard because I see things from both sides of the story. She's totally obssessed with soccer now (Salt Lake just got a pro soccer team last year), and honestly she is more happy and healthy than I have seen her in years (not having a debilitating crush on a total dumbass who occasionally uses heroin is a big part of it). But the problem is that she talks about it constantly, because it's always on her mind.
Obviously, that makes sense, when you are really into something you talk about it a lot. I am truly guilty of this, like my recent thing with The Office, or if I really like a boy, etc. But when most of the people you hang out with can't really relate much to what you talk about 80% of the time, it can be hard and it can get annoying. And even if she didn't talk about it that often, you can tell that she wants to, and that most other conversation she's giving just so it can seem like she's not talking about it that much. Does that make sense? I don't know. Yet at the same time she's one of those people that you always feel the need to please, so I try to get a little involved and know what she's talking about. It's working out pretty well that way. I still feel badly though about talking about it behind her back - about how annoying it is that it's all she talks about. I'm not doing it as much now, but a month or so ago was awful.
It got to the point that, one night, we were all hanging out at someone's house, and she wasn't there. The previous evening, she'd ran her mouth off about the soccer team the entire time (and she was being rude also which didn't help), and I just was sick of hearing about it the next day. So we decided to sabotage the situation slightly, and when we heard she was coming over, we decided to play a board game we knew she'd have absolutely no interest in. When she could see that most of us weren't interested in hearing her story about something to do with the soccer players, she left. It worked, but it was fucking ridiculous and childish that we had to do that. On both ends.
So this has turned into something else, which is another friend of ours who is also somewhat childish, who has decided that she has replaced him with other friends now, etc. I tried to tell him to please just realize that it's good for her and it will be okay but he doesn't seem to think so. As a result, there is some division happening in my group of friends, to the point where people aren't getting invited to things, and in general it just seems awkward. People seem annoyed sometimes that I want to hang out with my boyfriend as much as I do. But a big reason is because he's so laid back and I don't have to deal with any of this bullshit. It's stressing me the fuck out. I got my diploma in the mail today, but I'm too stressed out about what's going on with my friends to be happy about it.
So I'm going on strike, for this weekend at least. I'm asking all who are in this circle of friends to refrain from calling me, because I just don't want to talk about it anymore. I have a lot of things that I'd rather do for myself that don't involve this. I'm hoping some kind of communication can start between people, or something.
But what the fuck else can I do? Sorry I know this is a long post, and there are many details left out, but you get the general gist. So frustrating being in the middle of this kind of stuff. But that's what happens when people don't actually fucking COMMUNICATE. Argh.
Advice?