I made someone eat a raw tomato at a party

[Sarky Devotchka]

after I greased it up with olive oil. My friend's boyfriend took a bite, but he wouldn't eat the whole thing, so then I had to ask a lot of people until finally this tall blonde boy dressed like it was 1986 said he'd eat it. He said, "I need some salt and pepper" and I said, "that's what everyone says". he reminded me of rirv. he couldn't actually finish the whole thing, so I let him chuck it over the fence into the alley. then we high-fived.

also, my friend found a cleaver and chopped a watermelon, then accidentally or purposefully chopped the handle off of a teapot. who knew cleavers could cleave so well?! then he hid the cleaver in the cupboard.

tell your party jerk stories below.

[DandyFop]

Doh! I should have put my pool story in here.

[b i o n i c]

so basically you dared him to eat a tomato salad minus the vinegar. whoa, dude!

[Sarky Devotchka]

it wasn't a dare. it was a test. I knew my cleaver friend would eat it, "fuck yeah, I'd eat that tomato", but I wanted to make someone new eat it. also I talked to some new boys. although the tomato eater was the only decent fellow...the other guys looked at me like I was stupid and/or crazy. so I talked down to them sarcastically, but they wouldn't play along, so I continued my tomato search. that's how I like to make friends. if someone's into doing mildly stupid shit, then I know they're cool. although I didn't really make any new friends. I am known in the scene though. I realized last night as I was poured champagne while my cigarette was being lit and I looked around and nodded to people I recognized. and they thought, "oh, how I wish I could be her!" even the boys. it's because of my hair.



p.s. I'm being facetious. HA HA HAHA AHHAHAHAAAA.

[Freebasser]

You do realise that the tomato is a fruit and just as edible "raw" as an apple or what have you.

Seriously, that's like daring somebody to go into a shop and buy today's newspaper! Woah, dude! That's like, so fucking dangerous!

It must have been a slow day, is all I can say.

[Planetary]

what about daring someone who has no money to buy that paper. now that's a dare! i wish i had some money... :(

[Sarky Devotchka]

You do realise that the tomato is a fruit and just as edible "raw" as an apple or what have you.

Seriously, that's like daring somebody to go into a shop and buy today's newspaper! Woah, dude! That's like, so fucking dangerous!

It must have been a slow day, is all I can say.


I realize this. that's part of the fun of it. duh. YOU DON'T WIN MY CONTEST!

eating a tomato is harmless, so just do it. if you don't want to, then you're a dud.

[DandyFop]

I wouldn't do it because the taste would probably make me puke all over everything and that wouldn't be very nice of me to do at a party now would it?

[Sarky Devotchka]

maybe you don't like tomatos and you're prone to puking. I would accept that as an excuse. also, you're a girl, and I was only asking boys because boys are cute. I'm going to write a dating advice book.

I took a bite of a raw white onion at a party once, it was horrible. I'll never do that again.

[DandyFop]

I eat that shit all the time. BITCH YOU WANNA FIGHT

[b i o n i c]

maybe you don't like tomatos and you're prone to puking. I would accept that as an excuse. also, you're a girl, and I was only asking boys because boys are cute. I'm going to write a dating advice book.

I took a bite of a raw white onion at a party once, it was horrible. I'll never do that again.

man i find the crazy parties like that in my neck of the woods!


what will the title of your dating advice book be?

[jabumbo]

i was in a hotel, and last night we were hanging out and drinking in a room for a while


when we got back to the room, shortly there after i had to throw up. so i go running to the bathroom where the roommate i had was oging to the bathroom. but he cleared ou pretty quick and let me have the camode


i eventally woke up at 6 am halfway off the bed and my shorts were pulled up, but my underwear was as far down as it was physically possible, so that felt sorta weird

[Sarky Devotchka]

I eat that shit all the time. BITCH YOU WANNA FIGHT

FISTICUFFS!



(coincidentally, also the title of my dating advice book)

[b i o n i c]

please dont include any stories about fisting in it

[Nuzzolese]

In Corsica, if a young woman offers a tomato to a young man, and he eats it with olive oil, it means they're engaged.

[voltanapricot]

In that case, the way to a man's heart really is through his stomach!

[b i o n i c]

no its not, its through his penis

[HEIRESS]

I went out friday as a pre-birthday outing and took my best friends gay brother as my date to a dinner, chugged a bottle of pink champagne in an alleyway, drank strawberry kisses the rest of the night, cut my foot on glass and bled all over my pretty new heeled sandals, headbanged when they played "under the bridge" as the last song, and then threw a spoon across a restuarant and poured a jug of water into a bowl of leftover nachos post clubbinnnn

the end.

[Sarky Devotchka]

I went out friday as a pre-birthday outing and took my best friends gay brother as my date to a dinner, chugged a bottle of pink champagne in an alleyway, drank strawberry kisses the rest of the night, cut my foot on glass and bled all over my pretty new heeled sandals, headbanged when they played "under the bridge" as the last song, and then threw a spoon across a restuarant and poured a jug of water into a bowl of leftover nachos post clubbinnnn

the end.

that's what I'm talking about! mostly harmless hijinks. hyjinks?

[Nuzzolese]

One time I saw a cute boy and asked him for some gum. And then he was like "I have CERTS" and I was all "aw gross!" and we high fived and then I ate the CERT anyway and he looked at my hair.

[g-mile7]

My lil sis eats tomatos like Apples.

[beastiegirrl101]

My lil sis eats tomatos like Apples.

me too, right off the vine. (y)

[Sarky Devotchka]

One time I saw a cute boy and asked him for some gum. And then he was like "I have CERTS" and I was all "aw gross!" and we high fived and then I ate the CERT anyway and he looked at my hair.

lies!

[marsdaddy]

All you need is the celery and you've got a virgin bloody mary there.