Friends With Benefits Are Over Rated

[b i o n i c]

I’m just pissing the day away here. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I can’t focus. My boss is out, so I figured I’d let it be today and get through the day. I’m feeling very unloved. Ive got a special ‘friend’ but really, what I really want is some genuine affection and crap like that. I’m seriously starting to understand a lot of the things I’ve heard women say all these years. The wanting to be wanted, loved and shit like that. I’m feeling a little used for the kak, and I actually am starting to think why isn’t this girl madly in love with me? How fucking gay am I: I caught myself wishing that someone would fall in love with me. I went through a period where all I wanted was to fuck. I was angry and weak. Getting laid gave me a false sense of confidence and quenched my anger in a “so-there!” kind of way. I got pleasure from being an asshole because I felt I’ve gotten the shit end, so why not give it too… believe me I’ve paid the consequences and I know its not cool. That was a rough phase, but I’ve no regrets. I want something meaningful, but I somehow feel unworthy of it. I’m not one to be mopey, or self-loathing… but here I am doing just that.

I need to be cheered up. badly. This is just a rambling post, more like a disjointed diary entry. I post here for my own selfish reasons but I wonder, does anyone on here like me?

[b i o n i c]

1/17 aint bad... uh yes it is.


and its da-ch-ch-ch-ch!!!

[enree erzweglle]

I think it's great--everything you've done has brought you right to this point, and it sounds like a great point to be at in my opinion. A sort of fork in the road and those are nice although they're challenging sometimes. I'm sorry that it's making you feel conflicted, though, but I think it's a good set of things and realizations.

If you need to be cheered up: yesterday I watched a DVD about Ft. Benning to understand more of what my kid is going through at boot camp there. There was one segment where they showed how the drill sergeants taught them to crawl across terrain without lifting their butts from the ground. There's a little technique to it but it basically involves a lot of dragging. So for about 15 minutes, I did that on thick carpeting and I figured it out and it was kind of funny but this morning, I woke up absolutely rug-burned. :P

That's all I got. I'm not much for e-cheering. :o

[b i o n i c]

it;s de-ch-ch-ch-ch, for steve austin's sake cmute!!


this is sort of a fork in the road i guess. enree... thank you. i should look at this whole thing as that crawl you speak of. getting where i wanna go isnt always easy and if im not careful i could end up laden with rug burns

[enree erzweglle]

it;s de-ch-ch-ch-ch, for steve austin's sake cmute!!


this is sort of a fork in the road i guess. enree... thank you. i should look at this whole thing as that crawl you speak of. getting where i wanna go isnt always easy and if im not careful i could end up laden with rug burns:) :)

[befsquire]

getting rug burns isn't always a bad thing.

[marsdaddy]

Damn realizations that gender roles are also differences in maturity levels. Maybe it's hormonal, too?

I got lots of cliches for you...

[b i o n i c]

Damn realizations that gender roles are also differences in maturity levels. Maybe it's hormonal, too?

I got lots of cliches for you...


huh?! tell me some...

[GetYourWarOn]

b i o n i c owns this fucking board.

[b i o n i c]

HUH?!?!

[b i o n i c]

oh... :o(y)

[enree erzweglle]

getting rug burns isn't always a bad thing.I know, I was thinking the same thing. I got rug burns without the fun. :)