The service industry

[Kid Presentable]

Yo, you have to be some kind of cock to walk into a place and ask for the main component of a meal, without the sauce, on top of some shit we gotta cross the Himalayas to get, and then expect it for FREE when the chefs fuck it up.

Assfucks. I coulda smacked this bitch tonight.:mad:

How many people expect a lot from their money when they put their evening's drinking/dining in the hands of others? I'm slowly mastering the "You know you should have been still-born for even complaining" look.

[enree erzweglle]

I eat out at like four places and I get the same thing each time and the people in those places know me. I don't have to order. They start to put it together when they see me come in and then they ring me up while we talk. I know them by name, they know me by name.

[abcdefz]

Does your restaurant have an open menu? Most places would just say "I'm sorry, we don't serve (item I have to cross yak country to get)."

[paul jones]

I had a Burger King last night

I walked off to the train.....I walked back

I'd forgotton to get a straw for my coke

[abcdefz]

I had a Burger King last night

I walked off to the train.....I walked back

I'd forgotton to get a straw for my coke




Haiku genius

[Kid Presentable]

Does your restaurant have an open menu? Most places would just say "I'm sorry, we don't serve (item I have to cross yak country to get)."
Shit's just a pub restaurant, so we are susceptible to fucking precious little flower-bunnies, who can't eat what's put in front of them.

"Here's your food, be thankful you can afford it."

There are good folks too, like enree's type, but they seemed to be eclipsed by the people who should have stayed home and cooked it themselves.

[enree erzweglle]

I am amazed at how some people treat people in the service fields. I don't know that I could ever, ever survive in that line of work and the people who do work service jobs aren't paid enough.

My sister works in a a hospital, working with the public. I have a job that requires me to have a desk, a computer, a pencil, and a lamp for reading. I often think that the comparison between her job and mine is like some commercial I've seen where they open in a mellow plays-elevator-music kind of office and then they flash over to a scene of mayhem and anarchy with feces-throwing monkeys. That's my job v. hers and I don't know how she does it.

[enree erzweglle]

:)I know. I love them. When the one place closed, I made certificates of appreciation for them. :o

[Kid Presentable]

I'm fucking good to most of the people. Good to a lot of them. But sometimes, some shit-eater just wants to be a prick. And this lady was really pissed off, like I'd fucked her dead mother on their table kind of pissed off. If I don't like it, I just won't go there again.

We don't need tips the same in Australia, though. So we don't even really need to smile.

[ericlee]

A real long while ago, I worked as a cashier at UDF and I had a customer that was a black man, about 20 years old.

Anyway, he comes to my register and puts his things down on my counter and then he didn't say anything and started walking down the isles again.

Well, there was a white lady that had been waiting in line and I asked her if she had her stuff ready so I could ring her up and she said yeah. I rang her stuff up and the guy started yelling, "hey, I was in line first! I see now, you's a racist motherfucker!"

I told him that she was all ready to go and it apparently looked like you haven't finished shopping yet. He didn't even want to try to listen and he was giving me all these threats and saying that I let the white lady go before him. All I could do when I was finished ringing him up was smile and tell him to have a nice day.

[Pres Zount]

Man: This table (no "hello" or "excuse me"), how much better can you do with the price?

Me: Nothing at all unfortunatley.

Man: Why not?

Me: Because I am not responsible for the prices.

Man: You're not being very helpful.

Me: ...

Man: What about free delivery?

Me: I don't do delivery prices either, I'm affraid.

Man: Get me the manager. :mad:



also


Lady: Does this chair get wet in the rain?

Me: err... Yes. :confused:

Lady: Do have any that don't?

Me: no. :confused:

Lady: Do you know anyone who does?

Me: Try bunnings down the road. :mad:

[Kid Presentable]

Man: This table (no "hello" or "excuse me"), how much better can you do with the price?

Me: Nothing at all unfortunatley.

Man: Why not?

Me: Because I am not responsible for the prices.

Man: You're not being very helpful.

Me: ...

Man: What about free delivery?

Me: I don't do delivery prices either, I'm affraid.

Man: Get me the manager. :mad:



also


Lady: Does this chair get wet in the rain?

Me: err... Yes. :confused:

Lady: Do have any that don't?

Me: no. :confused:

Lady: Do you know anyone who does?

Me: Try bunnings down the road. :mad:

lol

[Kid Presentable]

I was holidaying on Phillip Island for NY this year, and (long story short) I wound up waitressing at a function for the hotel I was staying at with my mates.

Some people were pains in the ass, one family kept sending me back to the kitchen to ask the chef what a 'rump steak' was b/c they couldn't be arsed explaining what it meant to their son (he ended up getting chicken nuggets), and they weren't happy with my explaination. The chef told me to tell the kid it was meat off a cow's arse...I laughed and just made some shit up when I got back to the table.

It was a complete fuck-up as far as organisation goes...we'd never worked in the food service industry before, half the wine list wasn't available, etc etc.

I still managed to get $15 in tips over the 4 hrs I worked, met some lovely people and got a free meal, free booze all night, and a massive discount on my room. *yey* (y) (y)

When I get carbonara, I always order w/o the bacon...is that being a pain in the bum? If so, I'm sorry, Kiddo :(
Bacon isn't a crucial element. But if you want to come in and order the pasta, with soy milk instead of cream, no bacon, but added prawns and spinach, with shredded not grated parmesan, served in a man's hat, I'll fuckin gank ya.

When I was a Bottlo boy, we used to wipe boogers around the rims of cans, and roll cartons and blocks around in the cool-room if you were a rude prick.

Regardless, as a bar-man I'm fairly surly. And all the blokes at this pub pretend they hate having no females to look at, but ( and this is only in my experience) every girl I've worked with at this place just stands around looking pretty, and eventually people get sick of having empty glasses. So my efficiency is my major strength. Patrons learn to appreciate proficiency, cause at least then they can achieve their ultimate goal; getting fucked up (within the laws of Responsible Service).

They give up on the dream of marrying the bar-maids; only one bloke I ever met has managed that one: me.

[Kid Presentable]

Gank me? Ima use that in a sentence this week (y)

I always wanted to be a cute barmaid, but it's very hard work. As soon as I started going to bars, I realised that it's a hard job, dealing with dickheads, it's fast paced + loud, and (the worst) watching other people have all the fun while you sort out their drink orders.

I'd still do it if I ever got the chance, but I understand it's not about being cute anymore. Leave that to the Jim Beam Promo Girls.

And the Cougar ad is totally misleading. Breasts like that don't stay up without scaffolding, much less a tiny white singlet.

Yeah breasts are great. I want to work in a gorilla suit, but I havent convinced my boss about the virtues of a costume party.

[enree erzweglle]

Me: ...That part made me laugh. And this part too:


Lady: Does this chair get wet in the rain? :confused: and :D

Those are the things that I think would challenge me the most about working in service. That and rudeness. I would have a hard time not giggling at questions like ^^^ or speaking my mind at overt meanness.

[Kid Presentable]

Often times people will fuck up their order (over the bar) and be all elbows and knees trying to put the words together, and in my head I think "You might think I'm a dumb-shit for being a bar bitch, but right now you couldn't construct a sentence if your life depended on it..". I sorta grin at them like they're drowning and I've got my foot on their head.

"A full...A...A..Half....A...P..P...Pint...No...aaa.. .Um..." :cool:

It's about the small victories.

[Kid Presentable]

Costume parties are AWESOME!!! I'd totally love a costume night at a bar.

They do them sometimes (well, themed nights) at clubs here, stuff like White Night, Valentines Day, where you go dressed as part of a theme.

Convince your boss, and i'll fly over for the costume party (y) :D :p
My boss is named Pete, and for this themed 'P' party, I'm dressing up as him.

[hitmonlee]

gank=to steal

did you mean shank?

lol @ carbonara without bacon
i'd laugh if someone ordered that

[mikizee]

oh lord, i feel your pain. i worked at mcdonalds for 6 years, then was a nightclub and bar manager. oh lord yes, i feel your pain.

its true tho, sometimes those small victories are the only thing that will put a smile on your face.

[Kid Presentable]

gank=to steal

did you mean shank?


Does it? and no.

[Kid Presentable]

oh lord, i feel your pain. i worked at mcdonalds for 6 years, then was a nightclub and bar manager. oh lord yes, i feel your pain.

its true tho, sometimes those small victories are the only thing that will put a smile on your face.
I'm a witty prick too, so I usually bring the life out of girls with meathead boyfriends, but only when security is on.

[icy manipulator]

if you can get away with saying it, just tell them 'dont shoot the messenger'

it's tough but polite

[Kid Presentable]

if you can get away with saying it, just tell them 'dont shoot the messenger'

it's tough but polite
Fuck, it's about all I do say!

[mikizee]

if you can get away with saying it, just tell them 'dont shoot the messenger'

it's tough but polite

i prefer..... FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!

followed by a throw your hands in the air as in 'i give up!!'

[hitmonlee]

Does it? and no.

yeah most of the perth lowerclass use gank instead of steal or nick

but UD lists a few meanings

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gank

[Kid Presentable]

yeah most of the perth lowerclass use gank instead of steal or nick

but UD lists a few meanings

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gank
If I meet you, I'll tell you that I like your posts.

[icy manipulator]

i prefer..... FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!

followed by a throw your hands in the air as in 'i give up!!'
suck my hairy sack is a nice one to say too

[Bob]

i think that everyone should work in a customer service-ish type job, at least once in their lives, just so they can learn to appreciate everyone else who has to work at a job like that. i hate customers, really i do. so many jerks. i don't get it.

after i did my time, i always kind of admired the soup nazi, on seinfeld. if i ran a business, i'd do it like that. i'm not bending over backwards to cater to every precious flower's needs, buy something, shut up, and get out

[wanton wench]

the best line i have heard so far......"sir, its just dinner" the guy was upset about his meal and she looked at him and said this. he just turned and walked away.

bob-it should be mandatory to work in a resturant for a month during high school. i live in the south and we get people who act like its their first time out of the house.

[faz]

Customer complaining about his drinks order: I'mma come back there and smash all those bottles.

Me: Ha ha. You think I own these or something?

----

Woman Customer: Get a hair cut!!!! Aye, I mean a real one!!!

Me: As apposed to the fake ones I've been getting?

----

(The bars clearly full of customers and only 2 or 3 bar staff)

Customer: *angry* Any chance of getting served soon?

Me: Doubt it

Customer: *twice as angry*

-----

Customer: Can I get some ice?

Me: No, there isn't any

Customer: *angry* What you mean no?

Me: I mean the opposite of yes

Customer: You think your funny?

I was so close to saying (no, I think your stupid and needed me to elaborate). I didnt. One of these days, though, it might just happen.

[Bob]

stuff

haha! i wouldn't mind rude customers if i was just allowed to be sarcastic back to them. but if you're working for someone else, you can't, you have to be a punching bag, it blows.

if owned the place, i'd just be a fuckhead to those people. wouldn't want them coming back to my store anyway, if they're gonna act like that.

[Kid Presentable]

Customer complaining about his drinks order: I'mma come back there and smash all those bottles.

Me: Ha ha. You think I own these or something?

----

Woman Customer: Get a hair cut!!!! Aye, I mean a real one!!!

Me: As apposed to the fake ones I've been getting?

----

(The bars clearly full of customers and only 2 or 3 bar staff)

Customer: *angry* Any chance of getting served soon?

Me: Doubt it

Customer: *twice as angry*

-----

Customer: Can I get some ice?

Me: No, there isn't any

Customer: *angry* What you mean no?

Me: I mean the opposite of yes

Customer: You think your funny?

I was so close to saying (no, I think your stupid and needed me to elaborate). I didnt. One of these days, though, it might just happen.
Brilliant. Bravo.(y)

[marsdaddy]

The staff, so happily going about their days, are never rude.