Wouldnt this drive you insane too? or am i wrong?

[Rawr]

Everyone thinks I have anger managment towards my mom. Well, atleast social worker people do.
But it's not my fault. I mean, imagine your mom never payed attention to you when you were little...and whenever you wanted to be with her to just hang out and make stupid little toys cause you were young the only thing she does is ignores you and laughs if you get angry.
since my dad passed away im stuck with her and my brother. but seriously, she has TWENTY FIVE BIRDS squawking all day and early in the morning and trying to attack whoever is not her. She plays her country music OVER and over agian, she's been playing the same cd for 1 year at home and even in the car if she drives me somewhere and at night. and whenever i get fusterated and starts picking arguments with her, i'll get so angry cause she's so dimwitted in fights and i catch her everytime she tries to manipulate me into thinking she isnt lying when she is, and before i know it once we get eye contact with me having to explain EVERYTHING to her she'll smile and laugh like its fun.
seriously, wouldnt this drive you insane too?

[Sarky Devotchka]

yeah, sometimes moms are crazy. just be a good kid and don't let her get to you. also, she's a person too and maybe she's got some problems that are making her the way she is. maybe you guys should do family therapy if you aren't already.

lord knows my mom and I could use some therapy. but she's had a rough life, so I can kind of understand why she's a little nuts. when I was with her on a trip about a month ago, we had a two hour screaming crying fight in a hotel room. she called me a horrible person, she compared me to my father (who mentally and physically abused her) and I flipped out and then she flipped out. after all the flipping out, I tried to reason with her and get to the bottom of the fight, but she just kept saying that she couldn't believe how ungrateful and awful I was. so I just started laughing. then we went out to dinner and got drunk and it was fine.

but we decided we're never taking a trip together again.

[b i o n i c]

eh youll figure it out

[Otis Driftwood]

I think you picked a great username! :rolleyes:

[enree erzweglle]

It always helps me to try to understand what it is that's making that other person act the way she's acting, do what she's doing. If I can understand that a bit more--understand the motivation for it--it often dissolves a lot of whatever I'm feeling. It's not usually anger--usually when I don't understand a person or when I feel wronged by her/him, I don't usually feel anger but I'll feel hurt and generally upset, out of sorts.

I came to understand a lot of my parents' "shortcomings" after I became a parent myself. Selfish of me that it took that to understand them but that's how it worked for me. It's not an easy job and on top of the normal everyday sorts of things that non-parents struggle with, there's sometimes the added burden of kids who are somethings demanding and who maybe hold their parents sometimes to a higher standard than they should. There's a lot of complexity in the parent-child relationship and that complexity often compounds the other typical complexities of life. It can swallow a person up.

So maybe you could start by thinking about your ma when she was young, think about her at the age that you are right now, think about her circumstance, how she came to have you and how she raised you, what that was like, where she is v. where she maybe planned to be, what she's maybe going through right now in terms of family, herself, her life...try to get a really good picture in my head about her then and try to figure out how that plays into what I'm seeing wrt her now.