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View Full Version : I wrote this letter to my ungrateful friend whose cat I fed while he was away


Sarky Devotchka
06-29-2006, 06:14 PM
he complained to cort that I just left the catfood on the ground and left or something. hmph.


Dearest buttface,

no, I didn't just leave the can on the ground with the lid. I mean, perhaps I did accidentally leave the lid on the ground, but I don't know why I would have...I was probably just drunk, it was 3 in the morning after all. anyway, I put the food in the bowl and left the can on the ground because I do that for george because he likes to lick the juice out of the can. I thought maybe doctor would like to do this also, if not, I apologize. I also petted him for a half hour straight both times. he bit me some, but don't worry, I'm fine. and, I scooped out his poop on friday in case you were wondering or confused about the lack of poop. I threw the poop in the dumpster in the alley with my bare hands.

thank you for the opportunity, take care.

sincerely,

me

TurdBerglar
06-29-2006, 06:16 PM
i think im on his side now that i know you touch cat shit with your bare hands

Sarky Devotchka
06-29-2006, 06:18 PM
that part and the drunk part and the 3 a.m. part are lies.

TurdBerglar
06-29-2006, 06:18 PM
im still on his side

Sarky Devotchka
06-29-2006, 06:19 PM
I love you.

TurdBerglar
06-29-2006, 06:20 PM
i shitted in the cat box once. my mom yelled at the dog

Sarky Devotchka
06-30-2006, 01:36 AM
it was fine, I talked to him tonight and called him an asshole, then we hugged.

Echewta
06-30-2006, 10:20 AM
it was fine, I talked to him tonight and called him an asshole, then we hugged.

Which means you are in love, right?

Sarky Devotchka
06-30-2006, 07:14 PM
I love him, but I'm not in love with him. we're like bros dude. except I'm a girl.

TurdBerglar
06-30-2006, 07:40 PM
a bro-girl?

Sarky Devotchka
06-30-2006, 07:48 PM
yes.

kate
06-30-2006, 08:56 PM
do you want me to kill him? i'll kill him for you.

drizl
07-01-2006, 12:13 AM
you will eat the cat poop. no! i will not eat the cat poop! yes you will eat the cat poop! alright, but can i get a steak afterwards? oh i dont care, i'll eat the fucking poop *cries hysterically