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View Full Version : There was a motherfucking wild bull loose in our yard last night.

afronaut
07-03-2006, 01:02 PM
No shit. An honest to god motherfucking wild bull.
Sarky Devotchka
07-03-2006, 01:06 PM
did you catch it and ride it? I would have.
cookiepuss
07-03-2006, 01:07 PM
heres a tip: if a bull charges you.. they always close thier eyes before impact. that's how the matadors are able to step aside and the bull misses them. so remeber if he comes after you wait6 till he puts his head down and closes his eyes and step away and get the fuck out of there.

if a cow charges you (protecting her calf or whatever) she does not close her eyes before impact and thus you are kinda screwed unless you can out run her.

my mom grew up on a dairy and this is what she taught me. so I think it's decent advice given that she's spent alot of time around cows/bulls.
afronaut
07-03-2006, 01:07 PM
did you catch it and ride it? I would have.

No. He had horns and tried to stab me.:(
DipDipDive
07-03-2006, 01:11 PM
Tennessee is a weird place.
afronaut
07-03-2006, 01:18 PM
No shit, seriously. Theres wild cattle all over the place. Just stampeding down the roads and jumping fences and shit. It's dangerous.
DipDipDive
07-03-2006, 01:21 PM
No shit, seriously. Theres wild cattle all over the place. Just stampeding down the roads and jumping fences and shit. It's dangerous.

We have the same thing in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia, but instead of wild cattle, it's skinny rednecks strung out on meth.
TurdBerglar
07-03-2006, 01:23 PM
do they have horns?
DipDipDive
07-03-2006, 01:23 PM
Some of them. :eek:
cookiepuss
07-03-2006, 01:24 PM
We have the same thing in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia, but instead of wild cattle, it's skinny rednecks strung out on meth.

when they charge do they close thier eys before impact?
DipDipDive
07-03-2006, 01:26 PM
when they charge do they close thier eys before impact?

Nah they charge heroically, all the while screaming "GIT 'R DONE!"
cosmo105
07-03-2006, 01:27 PM
the other day patton oswalt was shopping in my store and i noticed that he was wearing the same thing two days in a row (he said don't worry, i'm bathing, i'm just on a deadline) and it was a shirt that said "JESUS GOT 'ER DONE"
The Notorious LOL
07-03-2006, 01:29 PM
my roommate saw a chicken near our old apartment once. It was kinda weird because it was in a pretty populated section of a large metropolitan area.
cosmo105
07-03-2006, 01:30 PM
one easter morning a rooster had wandered to our house from the farm at the high school across the street (we assumed) and just chilled on our sidewalk for a few hours. we brought out some birdseed for it and it pecked at it for a while and chased us and clucked if we got too close. my sister called it the easter chicken.
TurdBerglar
07-03-2006, 01:31 PM
the jamaicans on my street have goats and chickens in the middle of a city. every once in a while the cops come by and take them
DipDipDive
07-03-2006, 01:31 PM
A duck with one eye stood on my foot a couple weeks ago. I was wearing flip flops at the time.
cosmo105
07-03-2006, 01:32 PM
you saw the infamous cyclops duck? and it touched you? that's a curse, man. you're going to shart in ten days.