riddle me this!

[beastieangel01]

or not. I am not sure.

I just wanted to ask a question. For those of you who have experienced getting out of a long-term relationship/living with someone, does it take a while to adjust?

And I mean adjusting to the going to sleep alone, going without a kiss all day, etc?

[Echewta]

Of course. Unless the person did something that really made you hate them, its always difficult. Couple of months probably.

Then again, the best way to get over it is to get back out in the game. :cool:

[abcdefz]

Depends on the person, I'm sure, but also how the breakup happened. Sometimes there's great relief in being alone, and then the very next second you have an image of how your partner would sort the mail or something, and then you get all wistful.

[beastieangel01]

Then again, the best way to get over it is to get back out in the game. :cool:

ha, yeah I'm unsure about that.

My biggest, issue, is physical contact. Constant physical contact every single day for years now. And then, poof, nothing.

It's driving me a little insane.

[b i o n i c]

it takes some time to get used to sleeping alone, etc. it also takes some time getting used to not having to clean up and wear clothes. you take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have...

[Dorothy Wood]

the facts of life!

[g-mile7]

Just do you, I mean it shoudln't be that hard for someone as yourself to find an even better guy. Or have the one that ran away come back from the cold.


Stay up, your a rare breed indeed.

[cookiepuss]

I recomend getting a dog or cat. thus you will never sleep alone again. but getting a pet is my solution to just about everything and I can not live with out something furry in my life. I can live without another person, but not without a pet.

[The Notorious LOL]

yeah it just gets a little weird when you try to grope the cats boobs :(

[Dorothy Wood]

george likes being fondled. but only for 3 seconds, then he bites.

[beastieangel01]

I'm now living back with my parents for an undetermined amount of time. No pets allowed inside the house. :(

My Moms does the laundry though, which is sweet.

[cookiepuss]

I'm now living back with my parents for an undetermined amount of time. No pets allowed inside the house. :(

My Moms does the laundry though, which is sweet.

:) yeah. we had that rule in my house, until my parents decided I could have a toy poodle, because they are hypoallergenic (so my mom no allergic to him). My entire childhood my dad was always yelling at me to "get that dog or cat out of the house!" but not poe dog. even my dad slept with poe. he loved him. say what you will about toy poodles, but my dog is awesome and smart and everyone who meets him says: "i usually don't like poodles but yours is so cool."

[DandyFop]

It gets easier. But it never really goes away, in my experience. I don't think it's weird/bad to miss that, it makes perfect sense. I actually don't think echewta is wrong in the getting back in the game thing.

The loneliness/adjustment to singleness is a big reason why people get back together I think.

[beastiegirrl101]

what do they say? It takes half the time you were together to get over him? It's all crap...and "they" have no clue what they are talking about. Stay busy...you are a survivor and you will survive this!

Sex and the City episodes help. :o

[monkey]

the bed all of the sudden feels so big. that was the strangest part of it for me. i bought new sheets and comforter and started sleeping with teddy bears. :o

it gets better though <3

[yeahwho]

I dig the Riddler. I always wanted to base a character similiar to the Riddler called the Dribbler, same tights, just can handle a basketball like a Harlem Globetrotter and has slobbering problems all combined into one evil package.

what are we talking about?

[skra75]

or not. I am not sure.

I just wanted to ask a question. For those of you who have experienced getting out of a long-term relationship/living with someone, does it take a while to adjust?

And I mean adjusting to the going to sleep alone, going without a kiss all day, etc?

i can relate. it really sucks. wish i had some good advice but i don't. it hurts alot and there's really nothing you can do to get over it.
taking valerian root helps with the sleep, as does the occasional bedtime drink.

[cosmo105]

yeah, it feels weird for a while. that's why Cynthia became such a prominent figure in my life after i broke up with my ex, heh.

[beastieangel01]

as everyone usually says it all just takes time right? Just right now I find myself wishing for it to go away completely, right NOW. But eh.

I'm doing pretty well considering everything. I just notice myself missing the companionship, a lot. I should have gone to the county fair this year, I could have won myself a large stuffed animal to sleep on too :mad: damnation.

p.s. I always liked the Riddler myself.

[adam_f]

Originally posted by beastieangel01
p.s. I always liked the Riddler myself.

If you even say Jim Carrey was better than Frank Gorshin, I will kill a puppy.

[beastieangel01]

If you even say Jim Carrey was better than Frank Gorshin, I will kill a puppy.

I would never say that. I'm not a republican, remember? ;) ;) ;)

[skra75]

I should have gone to the county fair this year, I could have won myself a large stuffed animal to sleep on too :mad: damnation.

yeah i sometimes sleep with a balled-up sleeping bag. it helps sometimes.

i feel so emo posting this. heh

[hardnox71]

It's always gonna take time to adjust, whether you're living with someone or not. When that person is no longer part of your life anymore there is a noticable void, naturally.

When my ex first moved out to her mom's house I couldn't sleep for weeks. I was so used to the house being full of noise. Me, her, baby, dog, cat, TV, stereo, dog chasing cat, me yelling at dog, baby crying, etc. When it was all over, it was just me and the TV. The silence in that house was absolutely deafening. It took me so fucking long to get used to being by myself. After nine years I'd forgotten what it was like.

Now I'm on the other side of the coin. I've been by myself for the past five years and I can't imagine being any other way. I've grown to like it, actually. I come and go when I please. I don't have to call anyone to let them know I'm going to be late for dinner. I'm not up at four in the morning arguing about some dumb shit.

I am actually quite content.

[QueenAdrock]

or not. I am not sure.

I just wanted to ask a question. For those of you who have experienced getting out of a long-term relationship/living with someone, does it take a while to adjust?

And I mean adjusting to the going to sleep alone, going without a kiss all day, etc?

The hardest part for me was training my thoughts. Everyday I'd think "Oh, tell Wayne this later," or think of something I needed to remind him of. It's for the most part gone (after 6 months), but I got home last week and thought "Holy crap, my parents are gone forever!" and then followed that up with "Call Wayne. He told you he'd be there for you when your parents finally moved out." outta NOWHERE and completely just on instinct. Totally unappreciated too. But when it's habit, it's kinda hard to erase completely. But now that I've moved on, it sure as hell is more than easy to ignore. ;)

But Miss Crystal, what exactly happened? Care to explain or PM me? I'm concerned. :( Either way, it takes different amounts of time for different people. It took me 5 months, but if Brett hadn't come along to help me out, I have no idea how much longer it would have still persisted. Best advice: go out with your friends. A lot. Get outta the house, see your girls, dance, drink (free drinks from men rock, and now you can accept them without guilt), and get your mind off things. I had to constantly be out and moving because if I sat still for one minute, I'd think about what happened and get upset. KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY! And feel free to call if you're ever lonely or want to talk to someone whose been through it. :)

[beastieangel01]

aw thank you Diana. And thanks everyone else for their input.

Keeping busy I think works best. Although even when I'm alone for 1 hour I start getting a bit, well, lonely. It hasn't been too terribly long though since I left so I figure this is the hardest time right now. I think I'm doing better than I would have since I was considering the situation for a while now (and thinking leaving would be a good idea). It was just a matter of pushing myself to actually do it, instead of just staying comfortable with a relationship where neither of us are moving forward.

ramble ramble. regardless, thanks all.

[SobaViolence]

don't give in to self-pity or despair.
you have to actively fight the temptation to feel sorry for yourself

that was my biggest problem.

stay strong.(y)

[skra75]

It's always gonna take time to adjust, whether you're living with someone or not. When that person is no longer part of your life anymore there is a noticable void, naturally.

When my ex first moved out to her mom's house I couldn't sleep for weeks. I was so used to the house being full of noise. Me, her, baby, dog, cat, TV, stereo, dog chasing cat, me yelling at dog, baby crying, etc. When it was all over, it was just me and the TV. The silence in that house was absolutely deafening. It took me so fucking long to get used to being by myself. After nine years I'd forgotten what it was like.

Now I'm on the other side of the coin. I've been by myself for the past five years and I can't imagine being any other way. I've grown to like it, actually. I come and go when I please. I don't have to call anyone to let them know I'm going to be late for dinner. I'm not up at four in the morning arguing about some dumb shit.

I am actually quite content.

right on man. you have my sincere and utmost respect, that was one heck of a nice note. damn.

[Lex Diamonds]

If you don't like going for a day without kissing somebody there are lots of people that would pay you to kiss them. On the balls. And shaft. With your tonsils.

[tulla]

sorry to hear about your break-up

anyhoo, i get the feeling that you're a very strong person, mentally and emotionally, and you'll get over him faster than you think you will.

embrace the single life!

[fucktopgirl]

I just wanted to ask a question. For those of you who have experienced getting out of a long-term relationship/living with someone, does it take a while to adjust?


I am at the moment out of a 7 years relationship, altough we still have a good commmunication and i was the one who left for some raisons that i will keep personnal, it is really hard. NOt to have this person beside you everyday , and to talk with them....

Time and news encounters erased the pain and sorrow of separation!

[Lex Diamonds]

I am at the moment out of a 7 years relationship, altough we still have a good commmunication and i was the one who left for some raisins that i will keep personnal, it is really hard. NOt to have this person beside you everyday , and to talk with them....

Time and news encounters erased the pain and sorrow of separation!
Aw PLEASE can I have a raisin? Just one!

[fucktopgirl]

^hahaha

yea i can even give you 3 raisons!

[enree erzweglle]

I haven't had a bad breakup--they've always been fairly peaceful. One was iffy amicable but amicable nonetheless. Even despite the smoothness of those breakups, the after-stuff was still so hard because a lot of the stuff that you can control about a breakup (i.e., not the emotional attachment stuff) has to do with habits. Like you're in the habit of doing xyz with your guy and you've split with him so it's a matter of it feeling weird until you break that cycle or start a new one. This one guy, man, it was tough because we split up but then we sort of kept doing things together socially and that sort of was a really bad idea because it made that cycle-breaking phase drag on in a way that wasn't quite right.

[fucktopgirl]

I haven't had a bad breakup--they've always been fairly peaceful. One was iffy amicable but amicable nonetheless. Even despite the smoothness of those breakups, the after-stuff was still so hard because a lot of the stuff that you can control about a breakup (i.e., not the emotional attachment stuff) has to do with habits. Like you're in the habit of doing xyz with your guy and you've split with him so it's a matter of it feeling weird until you break that cycle or start a new one.


yes and this is where it is tricky and when you can feel more fragile at time when you start the new cycle....

[enree erzweglle]

yes and this is where it is tricky and when you can feel more fragile at time when you start the new cycle....
I know! It's like you have to force yourself to do it, though.

I am this way with a lot of things, not just with shifts in relationships, but with various habits that I've formed. I get comfy with a thing and I don't want to let it go or change it up. Then I do let it go and start a new thing and then I don't want to let that NEW thing go. :) I guess it's the transitions that can be hard for me but I do them and then there's always this point afterwards when I realize that that was okay.

[ET]

The whole getting used to being alone thing is going to pass as soon as you find someone you want to bone/wants to bone you. It's important to take advantage of being alone to indulge in things you couldn't do/didn't have time for otherwise. Takes your mind off of things. And yeah you're going to fall into periods of reflection. It's going to be hard but not forever.

Just imagine my balls in your mouth and you'll feel better.