The whole Energy Drink/Sperm thing [Archive]

View Full Version : The whole Energy Drink/Sperm thing

07-13-2006, 04:33 AM

So, apparently Steven Seagal has an energy drink (http://www.lightningdrink.com/features/trueenergy.html) out in stores. I had a chance to try both flavors and found out that they both equally taste like ass. Like ass? No! Not quite.

At the time of the taste test I was with my lady friend who took a sip after I did. While commenting that it tasted "familiar" we couldn't put our finger on it. At least until we drank the whole thing out of my own need to not waste my money. "Oh, it kind of tastes like semen", she says. Semen!

Normally I would have asked if it tasted like my semen but instead I felt as though I drank a can of Steven Seagal's man juice. The end. And I hate Steven Seagal even more now.

Also, you ladies have no right to complain about swallowing now. It doesn't taste like Dr Pepper but it's only as bad as an energy drink. I know the truth now!

Randetica

07-13-2006, 04:39 AM

i like the taste of energy drinks :cool:

ms.peachy

07-13-2006, 04:42 AM

Also, you ladies have no right to complain about swallowing now. It doesn't taste like Dr Pepper but it's only as bad as an energy drink. I know the truth now!
Uh.... no you don't.

I'm not interested in trying any of these supposed "energy drinks", either.

07-13-2006, 04:51 AM

My bad. I guess I was wrong...

It's only as bad as the world's worst tasting energy drink. A drink that tastes like cherry cough syrup, Menthol cigarettes, week old green tea blended with moldy peaches, and Steven Seagal's freshly filtered testicle/crotch sweat all rolled up into one energizing lightning bolt.

The drink actually makes you tired. I was tired of gagging. Perhaps I couldn't handle all of the energy.

Randetica

07-13-2006, 05:06 AM

are hetero men even allowed to drink energy drinks?

shouldnt there be a law for that or something

Otis Driftwood

07-13-2006, 05:10 AM

The only energy drink I drink is BEER, everything else is for fake ass trend-marks!

na§tee

07-13-2006, 05:14 AM

Seagal spent many years researching this, and found that there are specific remedies for each reason for fatigue...
many years!! i could google that lack of b-vitamins isht and come to the same conclusions!

Tzar

07-13-2006, 05:16 AM

i only ever drink V - only because it actually tastes alright. i can't drink red bull plainly.

Pres Zount

07-13-2006, 05:25 AM

You know how many times Steven Segal would have had to jack off to fill up about a billion cans of energy drink?

lots.

DustSucker

07-13-2006, 05:44 AM

You know how many times Steven Segal would have had to jack off to fill up about a billion cans of energy drink?
probably 2 or 3 times, knowing him as the man he is..

Otis Driftwood

07-13-2006, 08:17 AM

They need to make a movie of this starring a drunk Jackie Chan...

TonsOfFun

07-13-2006, 08:18 AM

slurm?

Dedos

07-13-2006, 09:28 AM

slurm?

HAHAHAHAHA :D

hardnox71

07-14-2006, 03:07 PM

You know how many times Steven Segal would have had to jack off to fill up about a billion cans of energy drink?

lots.
Well, as the little ad said, he "has been researching this for many years."