If you're 21 or over and still live with your parents...

[Qdrop]

...than explain yourself.
what happened?

defend your lifestyle to me and all of us....and we will judge you accordingly.

[Randetica]

i cant even take a shit alone

[Planetary]

why do you keep attacking ace?

[adam_f]

This is stupid.

[Ace42X]

why do you keep attacking ace?

Because I have him on ignore, and he yearns for my approval. His acting out is like a child throwing a tantrum in the naughty corner.

[adam_f]

My brother is 30, divorced, broke, and was homeless until mom said he should come back home. Is that okay, Jesus?

[Qdrop]

why do you keep attacking ace?

well, ace just got me thinkin....there's alot of people that fit this category...

[Planetary]

huh.

[Qdrop]

My brother is 30, divorced, broke, and was homeless until mom said he should come back home. Is that okay, Jesus?

hmm....yeah, i'd say that was a legitimate reason.

[burbboi]

I'm paying off a $10,000 student loan and previously lived with 3 roomates, 2 of which turned out to be theiving, burnt out losers. I'm trying to bank some cash so I can rent/buy my own apartment, burnt out theiving losers not included. :)

[DipDipDive]

I live with my family because they rule and I love them. Before now, I was never in a position financially to live on my own without getting by on a paycheck to paycheck basis, and now that I am more comfortable money wise, I'm making plans to get another place. I'm moving pretty far from them and I'm really scared, not because I don't think I'm ready or that I can't do it, but because I'm really close with my mom and my brother. I've never been apart from them and I'm not looking forward to being so far away, but I'm ready to take that step in my life. I just wish they could come with me. :o

Every family dynamic is different. It can't always be attributed to money or being a pathetic failure. Some people enjoy living at home.

[adam_f]

I EDITED THAT SO TAKE IT BACK!

[DipDipDive]

I EDITED THAT SO TAKE IT BACK!

;)

[adam_f]

I will have vengeance.

[Nuzzolese]

I moved in with my parents for about a year and a half, when I was 23. For the year before that I had been sharing an apartment with a boyfriend in another city, in another state, where I didn't really know anyone else. The relationship was failing, I couldn't afford to live alone, didn't even have a car, was broke and heartbroken. I moved out but I still live really close to them. I get along with them, love to see them all the time.

People have a lot of reasons to stay living with or return to living with their parents. No shame in that if that's the best you can do. In my opinion families are for support and to give you a home when you NEED one, no matter how old you are.

[Qdrop]

does enjoying living with your family and not having to pay for much TRUMP an instilled social ethic (american or otherwise) to become a self sufficient citizen ASAP?

[Extra Cheese]

times of changed, people on average graduate college at an older age now, shit is crazy expensive all over, so i think the age should be raised to 23, a case might even be made for 24, when bringing up the "if you're older than,,,,,,," stuff.

you cant really get worked up if someone 21-22 is living home.

[adam_f]

I edited this too. I like this edit thing.

[Qdrop]

I moved in with my parents for about a year and a half, when I was 23. For the year before that I had been sharing an apartment with a boyfriend in another city, in another state, where I didn't really know anyone else. The relationship was failing, I couldn't afford to live alone, didn't even have a car, was broke and heartbroken. I moved out but I still live really close to them. I get along with them, love to see them all the time.

People have a lot of reasons to stay living with or return to living with their parents. No shame in that if that's the best you can do. In my opinion families are for support and to give you a home when you NEED one, no matter how old you are.

agreed.
i lived with my mom for about 5 months when i moved back to Rochester.
similar reasons such as yourself.

i don't think anyone can attack someone for moving home on temporary basis during hard times.

i guess it's more a question about those who don't financially HAVE to live at home, but do.

[Qdrop]

times of changed, people on average graduate college at an older age now, shit is crazy expensive all over, so i think the age should be raised to 23, a case might even be made for 24, when bringing up the "if you're older than,,,,,,," stuff.

you cant really get worked up if someone 21-22 is living home.

what if they didn't go to college?

they graduated highschool at 18....and home they sit.

what about those that go to college AND live there through there own means (school loans), are they just being stupid?

[DipDipDive]

does enjoying living with your family and not having to pay for much TRUMP an instilled social ethic (american or otherwise) to become a self sufficient citizen ASAP?

I pay student loans. I pay taxes. I pay bills. I am self sufficient financially, my roommates just happen to be my family.

The instilled social ethic that you speak of usually involves being steeped in debt and not knowing who the fuck you are right out of college, which is the ugly part of it that no one talks about. I've been fortunate enough to get myself stable financially and figure out who I want to be with the support of my family. If that's something to be ashamed of by everyone else's standards, then everyone else is a moron as far as I'm concerned.

[Qdrop]

I pay student loans. I pay taxes. I pay bills. I am self sufficient financially, my roommates just happen to be my family. so financially, you COULD live on your own, on your own dime...but don't?

The instilled social ethic that you speak of usually involves being steeped in debt and not knowing who the fuck you are right out of college, which is the ugly part of it that no one talks about. I've been fortunate enough to get myself stable financially and figure out who I want to be with the support of my family. If that's something to be ashamed of by everyone else's standards, then everyone else is a moron as far as I'm concerned.
so the only thing stopping you from moving out WAS finances...but now is a matter of "finding out who you are" before you do.

shouldn't you have done that in college...when you picked you major?

[Randetica]

im still omg mentally ill, impossible to live on my own
i dont even have one cent


and if i ever become a mum then i would never be like 'kid youre 18, get the fuck out!' those mothers can eat my crackie ass crack

[Extra Cheese]

what if they didn't go to college?

they graduated highschool at 18....and home they sit.

what about those that go to college AND live there through there own means (school loans), are they just being stupid?


if they didnt go to college then they didnt go to college. i just meant if somone is young and not able to fully support themselves i dont see the harm in living home.

and i would hardly consider school loans as someone's own means

[Nuzzolese]

I'm lucky to have a family that is a constant stable source of comfort and reassurance - anytime I'm stressed or unhappy all I have to do is spend an evening with my family and everything feels alright. It's kind of weird actually, now that I think about it because we're kind of insular and we never did things with other families. Usually our get-togethers are family only and it's really hard to bring in someone new. We're not super emotionally close, we're just like this odd huddle of five people who function together like we're sharing a life raft and outside world be damned (except my older brother who casts out lines but we snip them) - but I know a lot of people, probably most people I know, have families that are just a source of stress and they have an obligation to be around to help when theres a crisis or to take care of someone.

[Qdrop]

if they didnt go to college then they didnt go to college. i just meant if somone is young and not able to fully support themselves i dont see the harm in living home. sure, if you financially just can't live on your own.
but the REASONS for the predicament should be looked at...as well as a timetable of when you are going to regroup and set back out...wouldn't you agree.

and i would hardly consider school loans as someone's own means if the loan is in YOUR name and you will be paying it off yourself...sure it is.

[Nuzzolese]

The one thing that made me want to move out more than anything was guilt at being around my parents at a time when they could finally be alone and having more personal space. I felt like there was very little I could contribute by being there. But I still go over there to do laundry and take their food so maybe it was better when I lived there and did some housework.

[DipDipDive]

so financially, you COULD live on your own, on your own dime...but don't?

Not yet. I've wanted to relocate from the area that I'm in now for quite a while, but wasn't quite ready for a move emotionally until now. I never had a reason that I felt comfortable with or a direction that I wanted to go until recently.


so the only thing stopping you from moving out WAS finances...but now is a matter of "finding out who you are" before you do.

shouldn't you have done that in college...when you picked you major?

No. There's no federally funded program for knowing your purpose in life. They don't exactly teach that in school.

Money wasn't the only thing stopping me. It was a contributing factor, but it was more a matter of having a good living situation and not feeling the need to rush into living a life I didn't want to live just because I was concerned about society's judgement of my lifestyle. I could've moved out a long time ago, fucked myself over by going into crazy debt because I didn't have enough saved to be comfortable, worked jobs that I was over qualified for because I didn't have a choice and needed to make ends meet, all the while still in the midst of the standard early 20s working adult identity crisis. I could've done all that, but I had no reason to. My family is patient and supportive and fun to be around, and I've had an opportunity to figure out what's really important to me in life while living with them.

I suppose that's hard for some people to understand, but it's not their life, so it doesn't really matter much to me.

[Qdrop]

The one thing that made me want to move out more than anything was guilt at being around my parents at a time when they could finally be alone and having more personal space. I felt like there was very little I could contribute by being there.

i dig that.

why do you think so many others apparently don't have similar....ethics?

[Qdrop]

Money wasn't the only thing stopping me. It was a contributing factor, but it was more a matter of having a good living situation and not feeling the need to rush into living the normal lifestyle of someone my age just because I was concerned about society's judgement of my lifestyle. I could've moved out a long time ago, fucked myself over by going into crazy debt because I didn't have enough saved to be comfortable, worked jobs that I was over qualified for because I didn't have a choice and needed to make ends meet, all the while still in the midst of the standard early 20s working adult identity crisis. I could've done all that, but I had no reason to. My family is patient and supportive and fun to be around, and I've had an opportunity to figure out what's really important to me in life while living with them.

I suppose that's hard for some people to understand, but it's not their life, so it doesn't really matter much to me.

no no...i get you...

[Extra Cheese]

sure, if you financially just can't live on your own.
but the REASONS for the predicament should be looked at...as well as a timetable of when you are going to regroup and set back out...wouldn't you agree.

if the loan is in YOUR name and you will be paying it off yourself...sure it is.


see i dont know,, if you're 21 - 22 i just look at it as sort of a no questions asked grace period of sorts. you could be a millionaire and if you're 21-22 and still live home i'm not gonna harp on that fact. but when you start getting out of that range then it starts to get questionable.

as for the loan, everyone plans on paying it off but that isnt always the case. they end up requesting deferments, requesting lower minimum payments, loans arent your own means. the whole point of a loan is that you dont have your own means of paying.

[DipDipDive]

no no...i get you...

Goddamn you, quote my edit, plz. :mad:

[Randetica]

why would anyone over 21 still edit posts?

annoying

[DipDipDive]

why would anyone over 21 still edit posts?

annoying

:(

[Qdrop]

as for the loan, everyone plans on paying it off but that isnt always the case. they end up requesting deferments, requesting lower minimum payments, loans arent your own means. the whole point of a loan is that you dont have your own means of paying.
so you get a line of credit that you pay back on a monthly basis.
except for 2% of our country, NO ONE can just pay for college out of pocket.
in that case, credit (through a loan) is mandatory.

who ever takes out that loan is responsible...and pays that back on thier own.

that's why i did/am doing....

[Extra Cheese]

so you get a line of credit that you pay back on a monthly basis.
except for 2% of our country, NO ONE can just pay for college out of pocket.
in that case, credit (through a loan) is mandatory.

who ever takes out that loan is responsible...and pays that back on thier own.

that's why i did/am doing....


ok, but a loan isnt your own means.

[Randetica]

:(


:)

[Qdrop]

ok, but a loan isnt your own means.

this needn't stumble into a semantics battle....

i personally feel the credit score and equity you posses that allow you get loans or mortgages extended to you is part of your OWN means.
and the responsibility to pay is ON YOU.

98% of americans who own homes have mortgages...are they not living on thier own means?

[Extra Cheese]

this needn't stumble into a semantics battle....

i personally feel the credit score and equity you posses that allow you get loans or mortgages extended to you is part of your OWN means.
and the responsibility to pay is ON YOU.

98% of americans who own homes have mortgages...are they not living on thier own means?


paying the house on their own means? my opinion would be no. I guess i would agree that they buy their lunch with their own means though.

[Bob]

i graduated college, and came home from college and am living at home until i go back to (a different) school. maybe i'll stay away after that, i don't really know. it seemed like the obvious thing to do.

[Qdrop]

paying the house on their own means? my opinion would be no. I guess i would agree that they buy their lunch with their own means though.

so, except for the very wealthy...NO ONE lives on thier own means then?
that's just a faery tale?

and wait...even many of the wealthy inherited much of there fortune, not earned it...so doesn't that not count as "one owns means"?

so living on one's own means does not exist in the modern world really.

sounds...kinda....socialist.

[Extra Cheese]

so you're saying an inheritance is a loan? interesting.

[YoungRemy]

its not that hard to get on your own feet as some make it out to be...

there are grants and financial aid situations that fit people of different incomes..

there are community colleges and state education systems that allow young people to pay off their tuition without having to take out loans...completely out of pocket...

there are cheap apartments and low-income housing/housing projects that allow even those who live below the poverty line (which is defined somewhere between 13 and 15 thousand per year) to have a decent living...

[Qdrop]

so you're saying an inheritance is a loan? interesting.
i'm just trying to understand your stance.

i'd say inheritance is money that was not in your bank account due to your own work and investment ...or good credit/standing and agreement to return.


and inheritance is bascially a loan you don't have to pay off, but didn't work for either.
a gift.
with no good credit required.


a loan requires personal responsibility and you must earn the right to recieve it.

[Nuzzolese]

I'm in debt because I don't live with my parents. It sucks.

Qdrop to answer your question, maybe some people feel that there is a lot they can contribute by being at home. I've known several young men whose reasons for staying at home was their mother not wanting them to leave - maybe she'd be alone without him. It irked me. The mother was no more emotionally self sufficient than her son but from my perspective it looked like they owed it to each other to get some independence. I know that earlier I said families should support each other but...

One of my coworkers is about 50, a widow, and her 20 year old son lives with her, and helps pay the bills. He has this responsibility to help take care of her and he's barely getting a chance (from what I can see) to get out there on his own. She'd be poor, she'd be lonely, vulnerable. They're so close and supportive and that's great but it seems unfair to him. I know he's still young but he is partly responsible for taking care of the household and I can totally see him feeling stuck there for years to come.

[Rock]

I don't see anything wrong with living at home for however long you choose. I know in my culuture and many others, one of the kids usually stays home, gets married, and lives with the parents and looks after them or takes over the bills.

Now if you are at home and aren't making an effort to get a job...or make some sort of contribution to the household, that is just sad.

Shit, I didn't leave my house until I was 25. I didn't and don't care about it at all. I was making decent money and was able to save up a good deal to buy a house. I still helped around the house with bills and anything else i could help with.

I would have no problems sleeping at night if I needed to move back in with the parentals either, no matter what the circumstance.

[Qdrop]

its not that hard to get on your own feet as some make it out to be...

there are grants and financial aid situations that fit people of different incomes..

there are community colleges and state education systems that allow young people to pay off their tuition without having to take out loans...completely out of pocket...

there are cheap apartments and low-income housing/housing projects that allow even those who live below the poverty line (which is defined somewhere between 13 and 15 thousand per year) to have a decent living...

i agree.

i think if someone truly has the ethic to become self sufficient as soon as possible (but without too much financial risk), the oppurtunity is there.

some have situations beyond their control (for the most part) happen, where they need a helping hand.
others want to take more time to increase savings and search for the right job, and decrease some debt.

others simply use variations of these and other excuses to rationalize being afraid of going out on thier own and taking personal responsibility for thier lives.

i dont' see how you can figure out who you are or where you're going UNTIL you get your ass out on your own and live some life.

figuring out who you are and where you're going doesn't happen while laying on your childhood bed hugging your old teddy...
it happens in your own scantly furnished small apartment...
again, IMO.

[TonsOfFun]

I am the worse for this and I feel it is not my fault although it is. Its the thing I hate about me the most. I'm 26 and still live my parents.

4 times I have become very close to buying a house or flat. First time I was 19 years old and felt this was acceptable age to buy a house. But my parents was really poor and in comparison to me buying a house with the family home at risk, it'd of been really selfish of me to buy one when the house I grew up in could of gone. So I didn't bother. Generally this was the story until I was 23 years old. In that time I attempted to find somewhere suitable several times but didn't and prices kept rising. But when I was 25 I put an offer in a for a flat - no messing, asking price offer about 20 mins after seeing the property for the 2nd time. It was perfect for me.

So after making the offer I called the next day to ask them if they had got in touch with the owners yet? I was told some estate agent bullshit and that there was still some viewings, but I still had the offer in and no1 else did. So I kept calling and was told that some1 would get in touch with me within a few days. Fine I thought but after about 10 days and not hearing anything assuming they'd get in touch with me if I was outbid cus you'd think they'd be in business of wanting to get the highest price, I call them to find out the latest. 'oh, that property has been sold last week'. Profanities followed and I was pretty pissed off. A few weeks after I freaked out, insulted a customer, quit my job without a new one and started my own business. Which has generally failed although I am keeping it going. So now I am jobless earning sod all money, living at home trying to find a job that is not soul destroying.

Time flies and I've never moved out. I really want my own place. I justified it between ages of 20-25 is that I have lots of money to go out and do stuff, afford places to go and run my car and I had plenty of places to stay over. I still do.

For the money I've spent towards this (parents) house I feel it is part of me, I'd be sad to leave but I know its sad still living at home at my age.

Why I should jusify it, especially to assholes like Qdrop (not an asshole for this post mate just in general I think you are a egotisical self opionionated offensive biggot) is not the reason for the post. It doesn't need jusifying, every1 has their own story and I'm sure in places where land is plentiful, cheap and your parents are richer then it may need jusifying to those who seem to have better opportunities although I know every1 has their problems (it can just seem like you are the only one looking out to others the same age, the same way its sad seeing a 26 year old living at home looking in). While at the same time I know this is an excuse, I could take a job at another place where I am likely to want to hurt myself and if I have a mortgage then I'd grin and bear it. But I don't, so I'm gonna get a job I like, take advantage of the space I have here and be happy :)

[Nuzzolese]

I understand the money issue, the loving the family and all that as reasons to stay with the folks...but what about dating and sex? Would sharing a home with your parents interfere with relationships? And what about your parents? Do they want to have time alone again now that they don't have to stay up to make sure you came in on time?

[Qdrop]

well let me ask this...

who of you have an innate urge to completely self-sufficiant?

who of you don't really care?
and why?


it definetely seems like our culture (particularly our generation) is really shifting.
the idea of living at home at 25 was scorned upon up until very recently it seems (the last 10-15 years)...but it seems to be more and more common for children to stay WELL into thier 20's...
like the cultural pressure for self-sufficiency and independance is wanning...

[Qdrop]

Why I should jusify it, especially to assholes like Qdrop (not an asshole for this post mate just in general I think you are a egotisical self opionionated offensive biggot)
biggot? where'd that come from?

[abcdefz]

...what if you're 73 and live with your kids?

[Nuzzolese]

Qdrop I'm impressed at you in this thread. Your posts have been extremely articulate, patient, understanding and intelligent! I don't want to say it's not like you, but there is a bit of a change and it's positive.

[Qdrop]

Qdrop I'm impressed at you in this thread. Your posts have been extremely articulate, patient, understanding and intelligent! I don't want to say it's not like you, but there is a bit of a change and it's positive.

okay, now you're just pissing me off.


:rolleyes:

[Qdrop]

...what if you're 73 and live with your kids?

obviously not the same thing.

[TonsOfFun]

biggot? where'd that come from?

you seriously insulted me once which made me more or less leave this board cus of some prejudiced shit you said. I come back now and then. But then that is just something I kinda let go and ignore the majority of your threads, however the thread title got me interested ;)

Although I actually meant 'bigot' cs I don't think it has two b's?

[Bob]

me, i'm looking forward to being self-sufficient. i like being alone, i like being independent, i'd have rented a one bedroom if i could possibly have afforded it. i don't think i want this because of american values or anything, it's a more personal set of desires.

[camo]

does moving back with the old's after breaking up with my girlfriend count? She's kept the flat we had.

I'm not going to be there for long, living with the olds is a nightmare!

[Qdrop]

you seriously insulted me once which made me more or less leave this board cus of some prejudiced shit you said. I come back now and then. But then that is just something I kinda let go and ignore the majority of your threads, however the thread title got me interested ;)


WTF are you talking about?
what prejucice thing did i say?
did i call you fat?


just not sure how i can be called a bigot.
that's a hell of thing to say...and carries alot of negative wieght...
yet people throw it around like air, like calling someone a racist...even though the circumstances don't warrant it.
it's reprehensible and irresponsible.

[Qdrop]

me, i'm looking forward to being self-sufficient. i like being alone, i like being independent, i'd have rented a one bedroom if i could possibly have afforded it. i don't think i want this because of american values or anything, it's a more personal set of desires.

nice.

i'm just wondering why there are less and less like you this generation...
or so it seems to me...

[TonsOfFun]

I understand the money issue, the loving the family and all that as reasons to stay with the folks...but what about dating and sex? Would sharing a home with your parents interfere with relationships? And what about your parents? Do they want to have time alone again now that they don't have to stay up to make sure you came in on time?

hehe, my parents don't care who I invite back. Sex and having girls over has never been a problem, never talked about really. When the house is empty which is more often than not when I am here. I can go to her place tho.

I'm not waited on to come back and its not a problem if I don't show up for a few days. My parents are cool like that and they shouldn't be any other way really. I'm 26 and although I shouldn't be living at home, I might as well take advange of a place with 3 extra bedrooms and where all my stuff is.

[beastiegirrl101]

^ but why would you want to have sex in your parents house? Empty or not? I'd rather pay rent than live at home...I struggle with rent, bills, school loans and such but its so nice to come home to your own place.

[Qdrop]

^ but why would you want to have sex in your parents house? Empty or not? I'd rather pay rent than live at home...I struggle with rent, bills, school loans and such but its so nice to come home to your own place.

yeah, it's called PRIDE.

there seems to be less of that going around.

[TonsOfFun]

WTF are you talking about?
what prejucice thing did i say?
did i call you fat?


just not sure how i can be called a bigot.
that's a hell of thing to say...and carries alot of negative wieght...
yet people throw it around like air, like calling someone a racist...even though the circumstances don't warrant it.
it's reprehensible and irresponsible.

hmm, ok without going into this deep cus I can't talk about it, basically you said that some1 who has crime in their family then their family can't really be deemed to be seen in a good light and are as no good as the person who made the mistake. It was a bit more personal than that although you didn't aim the insult at me. Just generally at a particular society problem which I beleive you have had no experience with and in no position to comment. I stick with the word bigot because it was prejudiced what you said and I've never retaliated until now to insult you, brings me down a level to insult but I think I just go on the defensive against people I don't like. So don't take it too personally I suppose. Its my problem (with you).

No I've hijacked the thread and turned it into something it shouldn't for which I apologise.

[Qdrop]

hmm, ok without going into this deep cus I can't talk about it, basically you said that some1 who has crime in their family then their family can't really be deemed to be seen in a good light and are as no good as the person who made the mistake. It was a bit more personal than that although you didn't aim the insult at me. Just generally at a particular society problem which I beleive you have had no experience with and in no position to comment. I stick with the word bigot because it was prejudiced what you said and I've never retaliated until now to insult you, brings me down a level to insult but I think I just go on the defensive against people I don't like. So don't take it too personally I suppose. Its my problem (with you).


i have no idea what you are fuckin talking about.
nor do i care.

[Nuzzolese]

You know it's great that my parents are really supportive and stuff and we have this good relationship because they will help me further my (lack of) career, help me with bills and give me stuff for my apartment...all so I can stay out of their house.

[Rock]

I understand the money issue, the loving the family and all that as reasons to stay with the folks...but what about dating and sex? Would sharing a home with your parents interfere with relationships? And what about your parents? Do they want to have time alone again now that they don't have to stay up to make sure you came in on time?
I'd say it all really depends on your parents and how your house is set up.
I was one of those kids who lived in the basement and had my own entrance. People were constantly coming over and leaving at all times. My parents lived two floors above me so all the music and noise we made was normal to them. So dating and sex was never an issue....although it did get a little sketchy sometimes.
As far as them getting alone time. It works the same way. I was always in the basement. And I was two floors below them. So it was semi private.

[TonsOfFun]

^ but why would you want to have sex in your parents house? Empty or not? I'd rather pay rent than live at home...I struggle with rent, bills, school loans and such but its so nice to come home to your own place.

I don't care where I have sex in all truth.

I should of rented I know. But I've been living off my savings while trying to start my own business, if it worked out then I'd be gone already. I took a chance with an idea that didn't work out :( . Which is why I am going back into the rat race trying to get a job again :( .

I don't care too much, so I've put myself back about 3 years from where I should be. For any1 who would argue against it, which I know you are not, I would say to them I had the guts to try but failed. I know so many people with greater talents than I have but are wasted in jobs I've done for years.

Like I say; I don't want to be here. Circumstances seem to of kept me here. But I'd rather be here than homeless or seriously ill because I couldn't cope with my previous job (made me to a point I was becoming violent).

Anyway, this thread has helped. I seriously want my own fucking place now. It seems that if half of one of the plans I had worked out, I wouldn't be here.

Maybe I am a natural born failure?

[beastieangel01]

ha. I moved back in because I left my boyfriend and I cannot afford to live on my own again quite yet. I want to stay in school but I cannot get student loans to to medical debt that affected my credit score. Thus, here I am, with my parents. I'm getting a second job to pay off all the debt then hopefully my score will go up, I can get those student loans, move out and get back to school.

[DandyFop]

I'm trying to figure this out myself lately. I'm on the cusp of turning 23. I just barely graduated from college, and no, I still am not really sure about what the fuck I should/want to do.

I have lived with roommates, but I didn't have to pay rent because my parents owned the house. I paid for everything else, and that still made me almost broke all the time.

Recently my friends and I have been trying to find a place. But the more I think about it, the more I think about all the things I could do with the cash if I waited even just one year. The place we were looking at is around 300 a month each, but obviously that's just the tip of the iceberg, not including food, internet, etc. etc. I thought about a trip I could go on, financing my own film, etc. It seems really silly to move out when I have a great situation here. I know my parents don't feel that I am a burden, and honestly the only reason I can really think to move out (besides that I need to grow up a little...), is so I can have people over whenever to hang out, or have parties. That's not a good reason to move. Plus, my boyfriend has his own place so I'm hardly ever at my house in the first place.

I have to start paying back student loans in a few months too. eeeek

[Kid Presentable]

I'm 25, and have lived away from my parents since I was 17. In that time, I have moved back in with them twice, each time to save money to fly to another country. Once at 18, again at 20. I always shouted booze, did dishes, paid bills, and did the shopping. But I took advantage, too. I got smashed in the backyard everynight, would leave cigarettes and roaches everywhere, played music loudly at the wrong times. My folks got the mature teenager (read: the world's shittest rebel) deal.

I romanticise living at home, but I've travelled and had some adventures, and generally become more adjusted to living independently. I survived London with no money. Ultimately it took a few crazy fuck ups for me to learn though, especially living back in NZ without the olds for the first time. I'm lucky to have not gone through the rigorous credit system you Americans have gone through.

edit: the one factor that makes my tale a little different may be the whole de-facto thing.

[Kid Presentable]

I'm trying to figure this out myself lately. I'm on the cusp of turning 23. I just barely graduated from college, and no, I still am not really sure about what the fuck I should/want to do.

I have lived with roommates, but I didn't have to pay rent because my parents owned the house. I paid for everything else, and that still made me almost broke all the time.

Recently my friends and I have been trying to find a place. But the more I think about it, the more I think about all the things I could do with the cash if I waited even just one year. The place we were looking at is around 300 a month each, but obviously that's just the tip of the iceberg, not including food, internet, etc. etc. I thought about a trip I could go on, financing my own film, etc. It seems really silly to move out when I have a great situation here. I know my parents don't feel that I am a burden, and honestly the only reason I can really think to move out (besides that I need to grow up a little...), is so I can have people over whenever to hang out, or have parties. That's not a good reason to move. Plus, my boyfriend has his own place so I'm hardly ever at my house in the first place.

I have to start paying back student loans in a few months too. eeeek

Yeah, don't move out.

[QueenAdrock]

Because sometimes people like to have a safety net of money to fall back on before they leave. I stayed at home because I couldn't afford going to school and living on my own at the same time. I chose going to school. In April, I moved out because my parents said they'd pay my rent for me (it was for their best interest to get me out ASAP because they were prepping the house to be put on the market). My parents are still paying my rent for my condo, because they're super awesome and know I'm waiting for security clearance.

I see nothing wrong with staying with your parents if you get along great with them. I was sad to leave them because they were more like roommates - we were all friends and watched movies and chilled together, but for the most part I did my thing and they did theirs. I came and went as I pleased, I had people over, no biggie. Plus, saving $650 a month on rent was MORE than worth it.

[Kid Presentable]

I party with my folks. If my relationship fell apart, I'd definitely move back in with them, and fast-track my studies.

[Kid Presentable]

I would be really scared to move in with soemone if I was only dating them
What do you mean? I don't really date. We met, fell in love, and moved in together. So far, it's proven a winning formula.

[QueenAdrock]

you cant really get worked up if someone 21-22 is living home.

Yeah. I bet THIS one is gonna piss off Qdrop. I have a Mormon friend who has 10 brothers and sisters. Most of them have moved out, except for 3.

First case: Sister, Tammy, 33 years old. She's living at home because when she was 23 she met a guy who was stealing her car radio in the TGIFridays parking lot. She talked to him, fell in love with him, married him, and had a baby together. Uh-oh. Turns out that he wasn't a good one to marry, he was a child molestor. He goes to jail, she returns home and lives with her parents and her daughter who was then 5. She has since gone to college on grants from the government, NOT gotten a job, and gotten on welfare since she told the government she's not working (true, but 100% supported by her parents) and has a daughter.

Second case: Brother, Scott, 41 years old. He's living at home...I don't know why. He makes between 30-40 thousand a year. He doesn't have his own car, and asks his mom to borrow her '99 Civic whenever possible. He does pay for rent - sorta. His mom just asks him to fill up the car with gas when he takes it out, and that's his form of rent. He spends most of his time in his room, painting LOTR-type figurines. He has recently paid for custom-made Renaissance Faire boots, a whopping $600. My friend now drives him to his friends' houses for game nights, because she just got her license and her OWN car - she's 23 and is making the same amount that he is per year.

Third case: Brother, Andrew. 21 years old. He's living at home because he has no job. He doesn't plan on going back to school, and everytime I see him he's playing video games. EVERY TIME. I'm over there quite a lot too. He also doesn't have his license, but he has his permit - though he decided he didn't want his license when he tried driving for about an hour and said "he didn't like it and it wasn't for him." His parents bribed him to go to church by buying him a new Xbox360, and they give him an allowance. For Christmas, they didn't know what to get him, so they bought him a plush Lazyboy for his video game needs.

Wanna talk about mooching off your parents NOW?

[jabumbo]

well this past year and the upcoming year i am living with 2 roommates in my own apartment. but once i graduate, i'll be 23 and i will probably go back home at least for a while unless some really good opportunity shows up.

my ultimate goal would be be for me to flat out purchase a crumbling house for something cheap and fix it up myself. chances of that happaning are slim, but in either case i will need to have a few grand in savings, something that i wouldnt be able to get if i lived in my own place.


i really don't see myself rushing into anything mainly because i know i have all the time i want to find the right deal. my older sister moved away right after she graduated. she has lived in 3 different apartments in the 4 years since and pretty much has no money because she doesnt make enough to be able to save anything.

[ampm]

I moved out of my parent's house when i was 24. Even though they pay my rent and car payment, I feel that living on my own and made me more mature.

[Qdrop]

i just want to know how the fuck you guys got your parents to pay for all this shit and let you stay in thier house for no or littel rent.

that wasn't even an option for me.

through highschool i had to pay for every single one of my cars, even the one i had to buy from my mom.
pay all my own gas and insurance.
pay for all my own expenses for entertainmen ect. since i was 15....

i paid for college/room and board/rent and food and books with my own loans and working 3 jobs.
i lived at home for 2 separate summer in-between freshman and sophamore year...and had to work for my step-father during that time to "pay" my way, and work another job...
then i just started extending my leases at my college houses thru the summer and never went home...
graduated college in may, moved to baltimore in june...paying my own way and finding a house down there...

i just can't fathom having the options some of you people had...
but i think i matured very fast and learned ALOT about myself very fast because of it....
despite my big college loan debt....

some of you wonder why i think i "know it all" and "have it all figured out"....
i guess i had to adopt that attitude early on to be more self-reliant...it comes with the territory.

[kll]

with the cost of living in a lot of places, it seems like people either have to move back in with their parents to be able to afford to save money for a downpayment on a place or their parents help them out with the downpayment. six of one, half dozen of another.

[buddylee]

with the new law that keeps kids from driving until they are 18 .... this trend will be just growing .

my 24 year old step son just moved out again , by the end of the summer he most likely be back .

[QueenAdrock]

I think my parents helped out because they LIKED having me there. We'd have political debates, watch Daily Show at night, went shopping, etc. My mom is very clingy and doesn't have many friends, so she enjoyed my presence. We were, and are, good friends. As long as I cleaned up after myself and helped keep the rest of the house clean, they were more than happy to have me there.

[Rock]

i just want to know how the fuck you guys got your parents to pay for all this shit and let you stay in thier house for no or littel rent.

that wasn't even an option for me.

through highschool i had to pay for every single one of my cars, even the one i had to buy from my mom.
pay all my own gas and insurance.
pay for all my own expenses for entertainmen ect. since i was 15....



HAHAHA Mommy and Daddy didn't love you!

Just kidding.

That is probably what I'm going to do when/if I have kids (to a certain extent). That is the best way to teach them responsibility and the value of a dollar. I guess I was lucky that I didn't have to do that and still learned the value of a dollar and responsibility.

Now i'm going to spend $300 on an authentic Frankenstein doll.

[Rock]

I think my parents helped out because they LIKED having me there. We'd have political debates, watch Daily Show at night, went shopping, etc. My mom is very clingy and doesn't have many friends, so she enjoyed my presence. We were, and are, good friends. As long as I cleaned up after myself and helped keep the rest of the house clean, they were more than happy to have me there.
word up...except for the clingy mom thing. and the daily show. and the shopping.

[Qdrop]

I think my parents helped out because they LIKED having me there. We'd have political debates, watch Daily Show at night, went shopping, etc. My mom is very clingy and doesn't have many friends, so she enjoyed my presence. We were, and are, good friends. As long as I cleaned up after myself and helped keep the rest of the house clean, they were more than happy to have me there.

my mom adored/adores me and never wanted me to leave...
but my then step-father hated me and all we did was fight from day one.
i guess he kinda chased me out of the home.

[jabumbo]

my cell phone that i got this past august was my first regular monthly bill that i have ever had in my life. never had, or plan to have a car at least until i finish school.


my first real job was the summer after high school. i've worked summers and such since then to be able to pay what i need for school. i have a reasonable amount of savings right now but by the time i graduate i expect that it will be next to nothing.

so while i can say that i won't have loans to worry about whe i graduate, i still won't have anyhting to live off of

[QueenAdrock]

That might have been it, then. I've heard of parents wanting their kids to learn the value of a dollar, which is why I paid for my own car and college. But having to pay for absolutely everything is rough. And having to pay for nothing is ridiculous. There needs to be a good balance between the two, I think.

[YoungRemy]

brief history- been consistently working odd jobs since i was 16- bagging groceries and delivering pizzas and local jobs at first...

graduated high school, got a job in retail that summer... moved away from home the following fall and transferred my job to the new city... went to community college full time, parents helped with rent and tuition...

stopped community college, took full time Sales position, parents stopped helping with rent...

saved money, paid rent, got accepted to University, moved to NY...
parents helped with tuition, I paid rent...


got summer job at a camp, led to consistent employment for the next 7 years... cut the umbilical cord completely by age 21... got Pell Grants to get me through the rest of my studies... Pell Grants=Free Money...

continue to save money, pay rent, bills, insurance & living expenses...

lather, rinse, repeat...

[Qdrop]

brief history- been consistently working odd jobs since i was 16- bagging groceries and delivering pizzas and local jobs at first...

graduated high school, got a job in retail that summer... moved away from home the following fall and transferred my job to the new city... went to community college full time, parents helped with rent and tuition...

stopped community college, took full time Sales position, parents stopped helping with rent...

saved money, paid rent, got accepted to University, moved to NY...
parents helped with tuition, I paid rent...


got summer job at a camp, led to consistent employment for the next 7 years... cut the umbilical cord completely by age 21... got Pell Grants to get me through the rest of my studies... Pell Grants=Free Money...

continue to save money, pay rent, bills, insurance & living expenses...

lather, rinse, repeat...

me and you....we cool.

[Justin]

I haven't lived with my parents since I was 19 years old. I'm now 23.

[QueenAdrock]

One of the things that always pissed me off about my friends was when they made fun of me for living with my parents when they were off at college.

EXCEPT - their parents paid for their tuition, food, and rent. That's why I wasn't able to be "off on my own" like them - I had to pay for shit. They'd always be like "Ohh, I'm soooo happy I'm not living with my parents, it's so much greater. You should try it Diana." I'd be like, if my parents gave me constant handouts, I'd be "living on my own," too. Asswads. (n)

[Randetica]

yeah but when your parents are ashamed of you (that bad that your dad doesnt even mention you when he talks about his kids) because you dont work then this is what i call a shit life :(

who the hell am i talking to?

[Miho Mingu]

It's unfair to group all 21+ year olds in the same reasoning for continuing to live with their parents. You're not considering those who have it in their culture to live with their parents until they're ready to go out in the world.

Much more, what is one to do if they can't afford to live on their own, or let's say if they would be lonely on their own?

I sense a lot of bitterness in this thread, solely from Qdrop.

Now, I'm not all one-sided, if someone is going to do absolutely nothing while living with their parents, and essentially be a couch potato, well then that's different. That's a whole other issue as well.

[ggirlballa]

hahaha my brother was very rebelious when he was 15-16 and he even went to juvenile hall and he kept saying man when i'm 18 i'm moving out of here:mad:


well he's 19 now almost 20 in August and still lives with me & my family:p but he likes it and feels comfy here and i don't think he can afford to live on his own anyways

[Dr Deaf]

i hit the bricks at age 14, by no choice of my own.

i'd have totally stayed until 21 if i could have.

free food and room and board?

\m/

[TonsOfFun]

One of the things that always pissed me off about my friends was when they made fun of me for living with my parents when they were off at college.

EXCEPT - their parents paid for their tuition, food, and rent. That's why I wasn't able to be "off on my own" like them - I had to pay for shit. They'd always be like "Ohh, I'm soooo happy I'm not living with my parents, it's so much greater. You should try it Diana." I'd be like, if my parents gave me constant handouts, I'd be "living on my own," too. Asswads. (n)


Yeah, totally the same. Except my name is not Diana...

Each case is different. I think what people fail to remember with 'grown-ups' who live at their parents is that their parents would probably be worse off if they moved out because of the extra money, extra car and help one brings into the home, all for the exchange of cheaper rent and a decent place to stay instead of a room going empty. I know the answer would be to downsize the house but we are kinda atached to this house and if my parents ever thought of selling it, I'd do what I can to buy it.

Its a choice made due to circumstances normally. We are not shut-ins just because we don't have the money to pay 60% of your monthly wage to a land lord or a mortgage company.

[roosta]

i have no shame

[jackrock]

roosta: (y)


Yeah, I'm thinkin' about movin' out soon.

[Lex Diamonds]

why do you keep attacking ace?
That's like asking Stone Cold why he hit Triple H with a fork lift truck.

He wants his title back. (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=67085)

[alexandra]

if you live with your parents, and they do everything for you, and you're ungrateful/ashamed of them, then you're pretty sad. but if you live at home until you can get your own place/are done studying, and do your share in the meantime, then it's all good. (y)

[roosta]

I could never be ashamed of my parents, My da struts around the house in a puma sweat-suit, with pants that are too short, and the waist too high, with a t-shirt tucked tightly in. go on the Jim.

[Qdrop]

That's like asking Stone Cold why he hit Triple H with a fork lift truck.

He wants his title back. (http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=67085)

oh, you know that was just a "who do you hate more" poll...

subtract the aliases, and it would be rather differant as well....

19+31=50

there really aren't 50 posters on this BF section who really know both me and Ace's post's well enough to give a shit....
that kinda gives it away....

[Lex Diamonds]

Yeah, I was joking. But thanks for the over-analysing justification. (y)

[sercomdj01]

I bet q-drops a mommys boy. He seems the spoilt brat type.

[Dorothy Wood]

I moved out at 19. my mom wishes that I didn't though. she actually still wishes I lived with her. because I rule.

[g-mile7]

Cash Rules Everything. I think it's pretty obvious why some would continue to live with their folks.