Does your sig other edit your style?

[Nuzzolese]

Not just fashion style but lifestyle choices such as eating or movies or music.

How much do you edit out when you know your sig other doesn't like it? And how do you decide when to edit something and when to maintain it?

Examples:

If your girlfriend is a vegetarian do you still eat meat around her? If your boyfriend doesn't like girls in heels, and you love them and have 10 pairs, do you still wear them on dates with him?

Is it a sign of consideration and respect to omit something superficial that your mate doesn't like? Or is it your life, your style, and they should love you for you? Where do you draw the line?

Would you give up a pastime if they didn't like it? Would you give up something that you think is your signature or that defines you?

[beastieangel01]

when I was with someone, nope. I knew there were certain styles that he didn't like very much in particular but I liked them so I wore them anyway. The only issue he would have really had a problem with is me shaving my hair off, which I didn't want to do anyway.

[Dorothy Wood]

no. well, I don't have one. a sig o. but I suppose I'd quit smoking for a boy.

my college boyfriend used to wish that I dressed a little less like a boy and that I'd put my hair down (I had very long hair that I'd promptly put up in a bun after a shower). I didn't though, I continued wearing my baggy clothing, beastie boys t-shirts and no makeup. I looked terrible though, I should've listened. ha ha.

[Bob]

i thought this thread was about signatures. that's how far gone i am.


sorry, carry on

[Waus]

I don't listen much. If there's something she really wants different, I take it into consideration like anything else. I started wearing a few more colorful shirts after my last gf told me I dressed in "boring colors!"

Back to earth tones :cool:

I guess I'm looking for someone that I won't want to change anything?

[monkey]

there's certain habits i have which annoy him, just like certain habits he has annoy me. but the fact is that we are who we are because or irrelevant to those habits and it would be selfish of either one of us to change them. instead we tend to do those things that annoy each other less around each other. granted, things that tend to annoy us are not on the level of "she wears high heels" or "he eats red meat". they tend to be more on the level of actual lifestyle and the way we spend time. if the issue is something that's rather superficial, it's not even worth the discussion. whats the point of fighting over shoes?

[ms.peachy]

If you get married, you have to let a lot of that shit go and accept your other half, warts and all. Or, you know, start saving up for your divorce.

[Nuzzolese]

if the issue is something that's rather superficial, it's not even worth the discussion. whats the point of fighting over shoes?


On one hand it's superficial so why keep doing it? On the other hand it's superficial so why stop?

[DipDipDive]

I think he wishes I'd wear stuff that exposes my boobs more, but only when it's just the two of us.

And he kinda thinks some of the music I listen to is lame.

But other than that, no. He digs mah style. :cool:

[monkey]

On one hand it's superficial so why keep doing it? On the other hand it's superficial so why stop?

if it's the superficiality bothering the couple, then there might be other issues they're not picking at.

[beastiegirrl101]

and that I'd put my hair down (I had very long hair that I'd promptly put up in a bun after a shower).

Same here, I had really really long hair and it just got in the way all the time so I wore it up a lot...he told me I looked like a cancer patient when I wore it up. What an ass.

[Nuzzolese]

if it's the superficiality bothering the couple, then there might be other issues they're not picking at.

If something you do bothers someone, and it's not something that's extremely important to you, then you can make a good argument for not doing it. Afterall it's not something that's important.

I guess you have to figure out who feels most strongly about the issue.
Sometimes people have a hard time giving something up if they think of it as part of their identity. And then someone else may not understand their attachment to it and from their POV it looks like "it's just shoes, what's the big deal?"

[Nuzzolese]

I get so into trying to please sometimes I forget what I really want. Does this actually ever happen to men? I only hear self help proclamations regarding this directed towards women.

[Dorothy Wood]

I get so into trying to please sometimes I forget what I really want. Does this actually ever happen to men? I only hear self help proclamations regarding this directed towards women.

this sort of happened with my ex. he was always trying to do thing for me, trying to make me love him best and think he was the greatest being on earth. but it really just created tension. because it was like, "no, this is not the greatest egg sandwich I've ever had in my life, but it's pretty good". and then he'd get sad. one time when we were first dating, I told him I didn't like the jeans he got from the thrift store that day. later he told me that when he went home he promptly threw them away. weirdo.

although, recently he's admitted to me that I did help him become more stylish. score!

[cosmo105]

sometimes he'll tell me when he really likes something i'm wearing/doing different, and i'll wear that constantly from then on :o and it breaks my heart when he sees an old pic and says "i really liked your hair that way" and i go "you don't like it now? what's wrong with it?" and he goes "no i do it looks cute but i'm just saying i really liked this cut on you it was so cute" and i go "well do you want me to grow it back out like that or something? i thought this haircut looked best" and he'll go "no no honey i'm just saying, i really loved that" and i go into the bathroom and sob.

but really, he doesn't say anything. sometimes i tell him, um, i'd like to see you in this/that more often because gosh it looks so cute on you. and i'm always begging him to shave :mad: but other than that the only thing i get on him about is when he eats junk food or or forgets to take his meds/supplements. he'll probably disagree with that last statement. the vegan thing's never been an issue either.

but most of the time he doesn't listen anyway haha :\

[enree erzweglle]

cosmo ^^^ :) about the sobbing in the bathroom bit.

I think most women are innate pleasers and they're able to be more fluid, morphing at will into the person they think their mate thinks is ideal. And I think women think that guys should do this for them or at least want to and most guys don't unless they're going through a mid-life crisis, in which case, they'll do it for someone else but not you.

Generally, though, I think a non-mid-life-crisising guy doing a thing in some different way is usually just him wanting to do that thing in some different way. A lot of women, I think, are much more affected by external influences and shifts than most guys are.

[fucktopgirl]

[QUOTE=Nuzzolese]

Is it a sign of consideration and respect to omit something superficial that your mate doesn't like? Or is it your life, your style, and they should love you for you? Where do you draw the line?

There is no line to draw; lovers should take us as we are, really and vice versa. I would'nt change myself for somebody , i am what i am , you digg it or else you go screw yourself with a ten foot pole! Now , i did not say NO to evolution tho ... What defined us is in constant fluctuation and is related to our encounters with others so, obviously when you meet a new lover, you are succeptible to some alterations of your habits / lifestyle but you should never quit what is really important to you, especially your dreams and passions! cheesy but true!

[kleptomaniac]

i thought this thread was about signatures. that's how far gone i am.


sorry, carry on

me too.....creepy :confused:


like we're surfing the same brain waves....

[Mr. Boomin'Granny]

huh?

[cosmo105]

^sigh.

[Nuzzolese]

and i go into the bathroom and sob.


I end up sobbing every time I'm in the bathroom, even if I didn't go in for that. It's weird.

[Funkyfreshgrape]

word!

[Nuzzolese]

Generally, though, I think a non-mid-life-crisising guy doing a thing in some different way is usually just him wanting to do that thing in some different way.

Do what now?

[na§tee]

if you mean "edit" in the positive sense, maybe. as in if i receive praise i will be more likely to try it again. the boy has a thing about my ass, man. if i wear clingy skirts/dresses he's all over that isht. he doesn't really ever moan, actually. he is a total walkover! (!)

apart from the fact he really hates me sleeping so much when he's here. ooops.

[cosmo105]

^yeah. if i catch him staring at a body part when i'm wearing something, i make a mental note to wear that more often.

[Nuzzolese]

Has your partner ever done something that really bothered you even though it didn't ask any of your participation? Did you ask them to stop it?

Have you ever stopped doing something you enjoyed because your doing it caused tension in the relationship? And if so, did you eventually feel bitterness over making that sacrifice?

I'm sorry for asking all the questions here. I'm thinking about it because I'm taking some time off from one of my activities so I can spend more time with my relationship. I don't mind taking the time off but I don't want to ever stop completely. It's just that I have a lot of activities and interests and stuff, it's hard to fit personal commitments in.

[Nuzzolese]

^yeah. if i catch him staring at a body part when i'm wearing something, i make a mental note to wear that more often.

Would you wear something you didn't like if he LOVED it?

[cosmo105]

maybe only in the house. but probably not. sometimes if i'm trying on an outfit, he'll say it looks really cute, and i just don't feel comfortable in it, so i wouldn't wear it.

[Nuzzolese]

I wouldn't either. The way I see it, if he likes it then it's just a matter of whether or not I do, or how much I hate it. But if it's something that bothers him, then I think more about why it bothers him and possibly decide if I should do away with it altogether.

[beastiegirrl101]

I tend to like dirty rocker boys. But I'm not dirty, or a rocker for that matter.

[The Notorious LOL]

local band dudes with huge egos are probably the corniest people on the planet.

[kll]

Haha. I totally relate to cosmo's story.

The only time I'm negatively edited is when The Hills or similar fake-reality shows are on TV.

I know if he's not into certain things, so I tend to go/do with girlfriends when it comes to those, so it's never an issue.

But, back to the TV shows - it's amazing how he can say how he's "so sick of watching HGTV" and "oh no! not another home improvement show", yet he always seems to ooooh and aaaah over those same shows. weird.

[beastiegirrl101]

local band dudes with huge egos are probably the corniest people on the planet.

agreed. and they try too hard.

[cookiepuss]

I wouldn't say we edit much in our lives. we kinda accept that we don't share all the same tastes, likes and dislikes. but we have enough in common to keep it going, ya know.


ok wait here's one thing. my man doesn't like Thai food and I love it. so I never eat thai with him. But I kinda don't mind because when i get to go eat thai with my girl friends and stuff it's a real treat and I appriciate the food even more. but if I really wanted thai and he didn't I'd just stop and pick up a cheese burger for him. problem solved.

[roosta]

my girlfriend's a vegetarian but i still eat meat round her. can't see that changing.

she claims she is going to change my fashion sense but theres not a chance of that happening.

[The Notorious LOL]

me and the ol' wife got what we call "Nickelback Sundays" where I listen to my favorite Nickelback tunes, and she goes out and shops with the girls for tampons and ceramic cats and shit!

[QueenAdrock]

Well, I realize now how much I "edited" with Wayne. I ignored my passion for being a beach bum because he hates the sun, I never wore makeup because he didn't like the way it looked, I didn't listen to some of my music when he was around because he didn't like it. I mean, it was all stuff that is relatively insignificant because it doesn't happen that much to begin with, but enough that it all started to add up. I now realize what my friends meant by me being far, far to flexible for him.

I don't think Brett's like that. We're both willing to tweak certain things, but it's nothing significant, which is really nice. (y)

[cosmo105]

ok wait here's one thing. my man doesn't like Thai food and I love it. so I never eat thai with him. But I kinda don't mind because when i get to go eat thai with my girl friends and stuff it's a real treat and I appriciate the food even more. but if I really wanted thai and he didn't I'd just stop and pick up a cheese burger for him. problem solved.
dude, exact same sitch for us. <3thai tempura<3

[Randetica]

I think he wishes I'd wear stuff that exposes my boobs more, but only when it's just the two of us.

And he kinda thinks some of the music I listen to is lame.

But other than that, no. He digs mah style. :cool:



not that i want to wipe that smile out of your face but doesnt he have a queefie phobia?