angry stage

[beastieangel01]

:mad:

[g-mile7]

GET FROGGIE IGGA!!!! I DARE SAY WHAT AGAIN!(n) :mad:

[beastiegirrl101]

for some reason, the first week is always the easiest. Then reality starts to set in...and we get angry. I am with you Crys! Hang in there...

[beastieangel01]

Natalie is on point. However, the first bit was the hardest for me. I felt lonely and really sad.

People actually TOLD me the stages that occur and they are dead on so far. I cannot remember what's next though. Sad, then I think I just went through anger on the weekend/this past week. Now I'm feeling relatively good.

[Bob]

i think bargaining comes next

that's for death, actually, but it probably applies to all kinds of loss.

acceptance is after that, so hang in there

[beastieangel01]

I wonder how bargaining would apply in my situation. I think acceptance is pretty darn close.

To be honest, I think the anger stage helps most. It makes you realize without anything clouding your mind (the sadness, longing for the companionship, etc) why you left.

[Bob]

baragaining always sounded like the silliest stage to me, i don't quite understand how it works. i think that whoever invented the 5 stages probably originally meant to say 4 at first, then when they realized they came up short, they threw in bargaining to save face. nobody bargains, really

[beastiegirrl101]

The first week for me I was all F him....his loss, tough girl attitude...then the next week was holy crap, I miss that last phone call of the night...lots of crying, thinking about future plans we had together....angry now as well and that's ok, just limit it to 10 minutes and not 2 hours. Go out when you want to go out, stay in when you want to stay in...but whatever you do, don't call him! <-----probably the hardest part.


what are all the stages?

[Bob]

i think it goes denial, sadness, anger, bargaining, acceptance.

i only know this because of that episode of the simpsons where homer ate the poison fish and had 24 hours to live, btw

[beastieangel01]

hahaha. Yeah those were the ones listed (denial occuring during the relationship).

Sans the bargaining.

[skra75]

I wonder how bargaining would apply in my situation. I think acceptance is pretty darn close.

To be honest, I think the anger stage helps most. It makes you realize without anything clouding your mind (the sadness, longing for the companionship, etc) why you left.

the anger stage is rough. be careful not to do anything stupid, such as punch a wall. I did that once and kind of fucked up my hand. it's fine now though. i felt like a frat boy.

i'm starting to realize that pain is alot like a grain of wheat (or a bag of wheat). You can do alot with it, you can let it sit there, ferment and turn into whiskey. You can bake bread with it. Or, you can just accept it for what it is, and use little bit of it at a time to stay level.

remember, pain is not a bad thing. use it to learn and you'll grow strong. become angry (or vent all the pain through anger) and you pass up a chance to learn from your pain and grow as a person.

[QueenAdrock]

i think it goes denial, sadness, anger, bargaining, acceptance.

i only know this because of that episode of the simpsons where homer ate the poison fish and had 24 hours to live, btw

I don't know how Bob isn't fighting off wimmins with a stick, because knowledge of the Simpsons is a great step towards the inside of my pants at least.

Either way, Crystal - those stages will jump around. And sometimes combine with one another. I'm in acceptance now, but also anger (which I doubt will ever fully go away because I was unable to ever get closure from the situation - motherfucker wouldn't TALK to me). I'm angry about how he dumped me and angry about how he lied about how he told me he'd always want to be friends and realize that I trusted him to keep those promises - so anger at myself as well. I'm in the female forgive-but-never-forget stage.

But yeah, I jumped around in denial for about a month. Sadness after the first day, which then continued for 3 months. Anger was sprinkled throughout, but came about more after 4 months. Bargaining happened within the first week - I went to temple and looked into converting for him (thank god i didn't). Acceptance has come into place and set in since early May. It's different for everyone, so don't expect it to be a neat, simple process.