Fireside chat with Notorious LOL

[The Notorious LOL]

hello ladies and gents! Whats on your mind?


Got an inquiry? Let me know!

[Mr Films]

Dear Notorious LOL,

I've always wondered....Why do bad things happen to good people?

Heart,
Mr Films

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Mr Films,


Hi, and thanks for your inquiry. Bad things happen to good people because its the lords intention to give life that "swamp ass" quality. If you were good, and got good things, then life would be pretty plain jane now wouldnt it? We all need the occasional car accident or third degree scrotal burn from a Wendys grill mishap every now and again, otherwise life would be way too linear and we would all join churches and shit.

[Mr Films]

Dear Mr Films,


Hi, and thanks for your inquiry. Bad things happen to good people because its the lords intention to give life that "swamp ass" quality. If you were good, and got good things, then life would be pretty plain jane now wouldnt it? We all need the occasional car accident or third degree scrotal burn from a Wendys grill mishap every now and again, otherwise life would be way too linear and we would all join churches and shit.

so, you're saying don't switch my long distance service.

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Forks,


It depends which army you are joining. If its the United States army, probably not long. If its the Canadian army, the only thing threatening you is polar bears and boredom. If this is a sort of a "suicide by cop" attempt so to speak, you could have yourself killed good and quick as soon as you end up on active duty! If this is one of those "I drunkenly signed up and oh shit" deals...then you may be able to dodge the bullet (lmao) and whiz by without losing limbs or eyes and shit.

[The Notorious LOL]

so, you're saying don't switch my long distance service.



fuck no, thats the last thing you want to do.

[Auton]

Dear LOL,

there's this guy on the board, we'll call him "bob," and ive been bending over backwards trying to get him to notice me. unfortunately he turns his e-head whenever i enter a thread! what do i do to get those goodies?

Help plz,
Flustered in Folsom

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Flustered In Folsom,


Sounds like you've got your hands full! Sometimes the ones you want to notice you are the ones who just seem outside of your reach. You do everything you can to get their attention and nothing seems to matter. It can be very hard at times and sometimes you just want to shout "BOB, I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO DO E-MAIL SEX" but you feel you should play it cool and smooth.....sort of like an internet Pink Panther, and wait for him to come to you.


My suggestion would be 18 point bold faced blood red Helvetica font posts written directly to "Bob" along with Private Messages galore! If he hasnt fallen for you by the end of the week, hes a heartless cruel son of a bitch that feels nothing.

[ericlee]

Hello there,

I'm leaving for the Army in a month or so, how long will I live?

DJ Forks

a tanker right? Believe it or not, every class of soldier has a different life expectancy on the battlefield. I'm unsure what a tanker's is but, a U.S. Navy s.e.a.l is only around 12 minutes.

Tankers only have to worry about i.e.ds or rpgs but they're trying to get sweepers to go ahead of the tanks.

Seriously, when you are asked to write your "dream" duty station of choice, put Iraq down and you'd probably end up in Hawaii where questions of life expectancy are non existant.

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Ericlee!


Did you have an inquiry you simply forgot to type or are you stomping your dirty ass boots into my scotch guarded thread and giving your two cents where they werent asked? If the latter is the case, please make your exit post haste before I call security.


*pipe and slippers*

[Auton]

........ _
......../ \
......./ ..|\
.....(_\..|_)
....../..\@'
...../.....\
._ / `... |
\\/.. \ | _\
.\.. /_ || \\_
..\____)|_) \_)

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Auton!


is that a dog?

[Auton]

It sure is, LOL! His name is Rover, and boy does he like making friends!

[The Notorious LOL]

he can sit next to the fire! its plenty warm!


he cant smoke any of my pipe though. if he does so help me god I will strangle that fucking mutt with my bare hands.

[ericlee]

Hi Ericlee!


Did you have an inquiry you simply forgot to type or are you stomping your dirty ass boots into my scotch guarded thread and giving your two cents where they werent asked? If the latter is the case, please make your exit post haste before I call security.


*pipe and slippers*

sorry, I had an outburst.:o I think i had some good stuff in my pipe.

*ahem*

Dear NLOL,

I'm pretty much a hairless guy. Not that I'm loosing hair on my head but I just can't grow facial hair. I want to grow a beard and I'm jealous when I see a hairy ass on t.v.

Is this something to be jealous of? Does having to shave everyday suck even though you can sport a nice full beard when you want to?

[ericlee]

Hi Auton!


is that a dog?

maybe it's some kind of a reminder.. Are you due for a dental appointment anytime soon?

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Ericlee!


as we approach the turn of the new millenium the world is changing around us quickly! Scientists have predicted by 2008, the planet will have flying cars, talking vaginas, and primates working in the custodial industry. Seems like a lot to swallow when you take into consideration that 2000 is just months away!

As times change, fashion changes. What is considered sexy today maybe hadnt been in the past. We are at a crossroads and slowly abandoning the sexy Burt Reynolds iconic fashion sense of the past. In the 1970s, hairy ape-assed men were what caused vaginas to moisten. Any time any woman saw Burt Reynolds or Tom Selleck, her vagina was instantly so moist that her pants would stick to her body. Nowadays the in thing is bordering on phedophila. We enjoy hairless bodies because it conjures up images of touching kids. This is widely discussed and accepted but it did not used to be this way. Dan Rather has often times been heard saying "the only pussy Rather gonna fuck is a bald one". While being hairless is nothing to be ashamed of, its important to remember that any and everyone who finds you attractive in that state is imagining you at 12 years old.


So for the current timeline, you are right on schedule to be what "bitches" consider sexy, but in another three years you will be a hairless wash up.

[g-mile7]

dear Notorious

somtimes I get scared to death when i see the man in the mirror. sometimes i dont know if what I see is really real. Folks in my town fear me like a disgusting ogre or some sort of frighetening being from the netherworld. i cant help it, that when i walk down the street walls shake and marble floors tremble beneath my feet. dont get me 2 wrong tho. i am a beautiful man, the man in the mirror is kind to me. its his msysteriousness that frightens me, notoroious. somethimes when i dream, i fly over cities... giant cities with paved rivers and boats that run on gears. houses are 50 thousand feet high and i cant see the top of the sky/it runs dry/ why cant i fly? the amber fleet is perilous they're jealous that these fools cant recognize they're minds cant hypnotize/ her eyes she's too wise my black ruby/ fingers walking up and down the reel, a silent movie/ projected into the dark my heart's alibies/ washed up on the sands of time, paralyzed/ sterilized like syringes/ her love binges blow punks off of hinges/ from her lonely citadels she shatters mans image/ of love she cant ever perpatrate/ the words for her these tears of mine concentrate. ?

[cosmo105]

Dear LOL,

What is a good way to trick my boyfriend into shaving off his beard? Could I guilt him into donating it to ericlee? I mean, I like how he looks with it, but I am tired of red makeout face and stubble burn. Should I pin him down while he is sleeping and risk getting blood on our new sheets or is there any way I can reason with him?

kthnx lol,

Sick of Scruff

[drizl]

sometimes i fall asleep and think im in a river, and that its okay to just pee. am i alone?

[Auton]

hey sugartits, long time no talk. holla at yo boy

-the auton

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Gmile!

I understand your thoughts, believe me. Often times in the past I had very similar dreams to what you describe. Turns out, my cheap ass landlord had been painting the place with lead based paint and all of it was just the result of minor brain damage. Luckily it was so minor that a speedy recovery was seen. Unfortunately the portion of my thought process that indicates when it is and is not okay to take my penis out was permanently damaged. If you find yourself feeling these thoughts and also dropping your drawers in church, odds are your crib has lead paint all over it.


In reference to your neighbors? Thats just old fashioned racism. Keep in mind, most of the white folks in your neighborhood may find you intimidating because they were conditioned by their ancestors that your skin color means you are scheming on stealing their television set without having any real understanding of who you are as a person! Dont take this to heart of course, because these same people are the result of a long, long line of cousin fucking. What goes around comes around, and take solace in the fact that all of them will find themselves in a rough spot when their daughters marry black guys.

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Cosmo!


Boy, thats a rough spot, ha ha, literally! Your entire body must be red and burning after a night of intimacy!



There is a couple solutions to this. First, he could have his hair follicles get little Aloe Vera sacs installed so it secretes gel every 10 seconds. This way, if you do get stubble burn it'll be cool and satisfied before it gets bad. On the downside, his face will emit aloe vera every 10 seconds regardless of whether or not his face is doing anything that could cause chin burn. He will need to keep towels on hand to wipe it off.


The other would be bunson burners installed on bowls. That way whenever he eats any food that requires a bowl, a small flame is emitted from the bowl periodically. Its small enough that it wouldnt catch ones face on fire alone, but would certainly cause a beard to go up in flames. The first time it catches on fire, he will run to the bathroom to shave.

[g-mile7]

thanks reptile :) lol at the racist thing they act like i havent BEEN livin in this damn neighborhood for more than a year.

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Drizl!


id say go ahead and pee where you wanna pee. just make sure to warn people about sitting in pee spots. However, dont warn them until they have sat in them for a few hours.

[paul jones]

hello ladies and gents! Whats on your mind?


Got an inquiry? Let me know!

Why is canned spaghetti so bad tasting?

[g-mile7]

hey sugartits, long time no talk. holla at yo boy

-the auton

fuck you 2 anton you peice of shit i home a family of bats fucks you in the eye and pisses on your little sister you dick eatin motherfcuking chump! thats right chomp on that lunchmeat fuckface ill take a rubber stamp out ya ass with a babybottle and tearfree shampoo

wah! whose the bitch now

fuck face shit fucker

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Paul Jones!


Canned Spaghetti tastes bad for a number of reasons. First being that the sauce used is of a low grade quality compared to separate sauces purchased in stores. Often times the canned stuff has tomato paste made from the most neglected ass fruit fly infested tomato farm in Mexico. On top of that, the quality control allows at least 20 rat droppings and up to or including 2 drops of human ejaculatory fluid in each can. Regular old spaghetti rarely has any cum in it.

[Waus]

Dear Notorious LOL -

Do those whitening strips really work?

~beck

[Auton]

fuck you 2 anton you peice of shit i home a family of bats fucks you in the eye and pisses on your little sister you dick eatin motherfcuking chump! thats right chomp on that lunchmeat fuckface ill take a rubber stamp out ya ass with a babybottle and tearfree shampoo

wah! whose the bitch now

fuck face shit fucker

hey now

[jackrock]

Dear NLOL...

Should I make the labour intensive pancakes? Or rather eat the bad cereal?

~ J

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Beck!


The whitening strips do work, but the reason that they work is they add a layer of film to your teeth which whitens it. What is that film made out of, you ask? Deadly poison of course, and in time it wears down as you eat, you swallow it, and you eventually succomb to a choking vomity death.


I would just keep your teeth a medium white shade if I were you.

[DroppinScience]

Dear Notorious LOL,

How would you say your fireside chats compare to that of FDR's fireside chats? FDR helped America off its feet during the Depression with his chats, so do you think your fireside chats will uplift a message board in a similar manner?

Please compare and contrast. Thank you kindly,

DroppinScience

[tracky]

Dear Notorious LOL

What is that smell?

[roosta]

Dear NLOL

How dissapointing is Nas's album going to be?

Yours,
MF Doom fan
Ireland.

[Bitchamachacha]

Dearest MOA,

Why are you so obsessed with titties, and how cool would it be for a girl to get a boob job and have her breats shaped and tatooted to look like a set of Meatwads?

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Jackrock!



It all depends on how much labor we are talking. If the pancakes will take weeks on end of back breaking intensive physical labor which could result in permanent disability and/or heat stroke, then I would opt for the bad cereal.

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear DroppinScience,



I feel my fireside chats are superior to FDRs fireside chats for one important reason.....Im not in a wheelchair!!!

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Tracky!



That smell is a mixture of crusty expired milk, fecal matter, cotton candy, a goat, and roofing shingles. Get some febreeze and it'll go away.

[ericlee]

Hi Ericlee!


as we approach the turn of the new millenium the world is changing around us quickly! Scientists have predicted by 2008, the planet will have flying cars, talking vaginas, and primates working in the custodial industry. Seems like a lot to swallow when you take into consideration that 2000 is just months away!

As times change, fashion changes. What is considered sexy today maybe hadnt been in the past. We are at a crossroads and slowly abandoning the sexy Burt Reynolds iconic fashion sense of the past. In the 1970s, hairy ape-assed men were what caused vaginas to moisten. Any time any woman saw Burt Reynolds or Tom Selleck, her vagina was instantly so moist that her pants would stick to her body. Nowadays the in thing is bordering on phedophila. We enjoy hairless bodies because it conjures up images of touching kids. This is widely discussed and accepted but it did not used to be this way. Dan Rather has often times been heard saying "the only pussy Rather gonna fuck is a bald one". While being hairless is nothing to be ashamed of, its important to remember that any and everyone who finds you attractive in that state is imagining you at 12 years old.


So for the current timeline, you are right on schedule to be what "bitches" consider sexy, but in another three years you will be a hairless wash up.

Well, I guess I can live with that. I've had the nick of Richie Rich since I've been 15 because I resemble him very much (the cartoon character) and of course, in his comic, he never ages.

I don't think my wife's a pedo though. I think she's with me because I age as an asian.

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Roosta!


Nas' album will consist of the tired and true formula people have come to expect from him. He will once again remind us how good his first album will, and talk about how he "still got it" but will not make any notable effort to prove this fact to the listening audience.


Overall, it'll be pretty boring...but hey, it certainly beats a rap album consisting of Adult Swim samples and subject matter!

[ericlee]

sometimes i fall asleep and think im in a river, and that its okay to just pee. am i alone?

now I see how you got your username. Do you have to wring your sheets out every morning?

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Bitchamachacha!



Titty obsession stems from being a heterosexual male. In reality I fancy myself more of a "butt man" than a "breast man" but I have no complaints with either/or.


Meatwad titties could be interesting on two conditions. One, it was in no sort of a sexual setting. That would be a major mood killer to see that, lets be honest. Two, the titties did not talk. If they talked and sounded like meatwad it would be intensly creepy.

[Bob]

deer LOL:

there's this guy that's giving me trouble lately. i think he likes me but i don't want anything to do with him! i tried giving him the cold shoulder but he won't take the hint. what should i do?

frustrated in folsom

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Frustrated In Folsom,


Sounds like you've got your hands full! Sometimes the ones you want nothing to do with are the ones who just seem to never quit. You do everything you can to get their attention that you are disinterested and nothing seems to matter. It can be very hard at times and sometimes you just want to shout "AUTON, I DISLIKE YOU AND DO NOT WANT TO DO E-MAIL SEX" but you feel you should play it cool and smooth.....sort of like an internet Pink Panther, and wait for him to take note of your lack of interest.


My suggestion would be 24 point bold faced blood red Helvetica font posts written directly to this person along with Private Messages galore! Giving him a taste of his own medicine will drive him nuts and pretty soon he will just leave you alone altogether.

[g-mile7]

hey now


Ed, I am really bout to chnage my password you fucker. I was wondering why I got an email saying "someone has treid to log on under your name 5 times and failed, you will not be able to log on untill 15 minutes have passed" yesterday



(n) next time I make a board account it will be without your help.....dingleberry self



Dear LOL,

I have this girl on here I want...as a success story how do I pimp her reallllll good and long over the net


Angry at Auton

[g-mile7]

dear Notorious

somtimes I get scared to death when i see the man in the mirror. sometimes i dont know if what I see is really real. Folks in my town fear me like a disgusting ogre or some sort of frighetening being from the netherworld. i cant help it, that when i walk down the street walls shake and marble floors tremble beneath my feet. dont get me 2 wrong tho. i am a beautiful man, the man in the mirror is kind to me. its his msysteriousness that frightens me, notoroious. somethimes when i dream, i fly over cities... giant cities with paved rivers and boats that run on gears. houses are 50 thousand feet high and i cant see the top of the sky/it runs dry/ why cant i fly? the amber fleet is perilous they're jealous that these fools cant recognize they're minds cant hypnotize/ her eyes she's too wise my black ruby/ fingers walking up and down the reel, a silent movie/ projected into the dark my heart's alibies/ washed up on the sands of time, paralyzed/ sterilized like syringes/ her love binges blow punks off of hinges/ from her lonely citadels she shatters mans image/ of love she cant ever perpatrate/ the words for her these tears of mine concentrate. ?


I would not rhyme this you shark biter (thats more you god then anything)

[g-mile7]

Hi Gmile!

I understand your thoughts, believe me. Often times in the past I had very similar dreams to what you describe. Turns out, my cheap ass landlord had been painting the place with lead based paint and all of it was just the result of minor brain damage. Luckily it was so minor that a speedy recovery was seen. Unfortunately the portion of my thought process that indicates when it is and is not okay to take my penis out was permanently damaged. If you find yourself feeling these thoughts and also dropping your drawers in church, odds are your crib has lead paint all over it.


In reference to your neighbors? Thats just old fashioned racism. Keep in mind, most of the white folks in your neighborhood may find you intimidating because they were conditioned by their ancestors that your skin color means you are scheming on stealing their television set without having any real understanding of who you are as a person! Dont take this to heart of course, because these same people are the result of a long, long line of cousin fucking. What goes around comes around, and take solace in the fact that all of them will find themselves in a rough spot when their daughters marry black guys.


Real talk:) and thanks (I think?)

[Qdrop]

Dear Notorious LOL,

Does Jason Mewes rendition of Silence of the Lambs make you hot like it does me?


kthanks,
Skye

every time i see that TV spot, i crack the fuck up....

[ericlee]

Dear NLOL,

There's a buddy of mine who likes to share his sex stories with me about what goes on between him and his wife between the sheets. My friend is about 300 lbs and his wife is probably 320 lbs so, added together, it's a good 620 lbs of flubba lubba goin' on.

Being that I'm a good friend and a good listener, I listen. But everytime I listen, I have an urge to regurgitate and it's gotten to the point that when I'd try to make love to my wife, if I close my eyes I picture him on the other side of the room with his wife doing the reverse cowboy and he's looking at me giving me the thumbs up and saying "thata boy eric".

Should I continue listening to his stories being the good buddy I've been with him or should I just crack and tell him that I can't take it anymore. Which in fact, it would bring our level of trust down?

[The Notorious LOL]

I will reply to some of this crap later. Im at work, suckas.

[Echewta]

Shah,

Your thoughts? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evTx2aJCF6M&search=space%201999)

[SobaViolence]

Dear Notorious,

how can we solve the current crises gripping the middle east? can arabs truly grasp the concepts of freedom and democracy? and how long can we really wait for jesus to rise from the sea of blood to deliver the righteous to heaven?

allah ackbar,
Stranded in Lebanon

[Schmeltz]

Dear Notorious LOL,

What's the secret behind just not giving a fuck? Can you help me to be more like you?

Sincerely,
Schmeltz

[ToucanSpam]

Is OJ really guilty? I mean, she had it coming, right?

[Randetica]

can you answer ^>this<^ question without looking it up on wikipedia?

[jackrock]

Dear the great NLOL...


I ate too much for supper, will my tummy ache ever go away?

~Full

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Notorious LOL,

Does Jason Mewes rendition of Silence of the Lambs make you hot like it does me?


kthanks,
Skye




hello Skye!


I have no clue who/what you're reffering to, so naturally my answer is "probably not but possibly"

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear NLOL,

There's a buddy of mine who likes to share his sex stories with me about what goes on between him and his wife between the sheets. My friend is about 300 lbs and his wife is probably 320 lbs so, added together, it's a good 620 lbs of flubba lubba goin' on.

Being that I'm a good friend and a good listener, I listen. But everytime I listen, I have an urge to regurgitate and it's gotten to the point that when I'd try to make love to my wife, if I close my eyes I picture him on the other side of the room with his wife doing the reverse cowboy and he's looking at me giving me the thumbs up and saying "thata boy eric".

Should I continue listening to his stories being the good buddy I've been with him or should I just crack and tell him that I can't take it anymore. Which in fact, it would bring our level of trust down?



Hi Ericlee!


I think if you want to be a supportive friend, you should continue to listen to your friend. However, if he feels it necessary to be explicit, maybe ask him to tone it down not solely because hes fat but more because you dont like picturing friends of yours having sex. If he insists, find porn stunt doubles for him to have demonstrate live in his living room what he is describing.

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Notorious,

how can we solve the current crises gripping the middle east? can arabs truly grasp the concepts of freedom and democracy? and how long can we really wait for jesus to rise from the sea of blood to deliver the righteous to heaven?

allah ackbar,
Stranded in Lebanon



Hi Stranded!


I think the middle east conflict has been 50 years in the making since the creation of Israel in 1948. That area of the country has religious significance to all major religions and the tension level is escalating finally. The United States has switched sides on allies for years and we are seen as The Great Satan. Its justified in many ways as well as our interests are purely fiscal (oil) and if that means civil unrest and restructuring another countries government, then so be it. I predict it'll be another two or three years until the shit REALLY hits the fan so find yourself a steady girl that you love and have lots of sex with her until the world blows up.

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Notorious LOL,

What's the secret behind just not giving a fuck? Can you help me to be more like you?

Sincerely,
Schmeltz



Hi Schmeltz!


A true not give a fuck attitude generally stems from once giving too much of a fuck and realizing that change in many aspects of life is futile. Most people are too stupid or too resistant to any sort of meaningful change, therefore the only possible alternative to that is to simply look out for the few you care about and generally disregard the fates of others. Its a healthy upbeat attitude with a can do spirit.

[The Notorious LOL]

Is OJ really guilty? I mean, she had it coming, right?



Hi ToucanSpam!


I have never doubted that OJ killed the bitch. It seemed so obvious.


Now, did she deserve it I dont know. She probably would have had to tried slitting his throat first before slitting hers and her man friends would be a justified action. That, or trying to eat his dinner.

[The Notorious LOL]

can you answer ^>this<^ question without looking it up on wikipedia?




Hi Randy!


No, I cannot. :( I am a wikipedia whore. Most things I research online start at wikipedia. If I question something, I research the source further.

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear the great NLOL...


I ate too much for supper, will my tummy ache ever go away?

~Full




Hi Full!


Your tummy ache will go away when the alien hatches from your stomach. Sure, it will be intense pain for about five minutes but shortly after you will be good and pain free i.e. deceased.

[g-mile7]

Dear Notorious

How do i get the time to pass by like it has in the past? since she went away its been liek a powerstruggle she doesnt know what to do with herself anymore. its all he said she said. i want to get my stuff back but im afraaid of loosing her in the process too. what do i do? i want my stuff!

[Bitchamachacha]

Hi Bitchamachacha!



Titty obsession stems from being a heterosexual male. In reality I fancy myself more of a "butt man" than a "breast man" but I have no complaints with either/or.


Meatwad titties could be interesting on two conditions. One, it was in no sort of a sexual setting. That would be a major mood killer to see that, lets be honest. Two, the titties did not talk. If they talked and sounded like meatwad it would be intensly creepy.

Well, damn.

The next time my left breast looks at my right breats and says, "I done got my face put on a titty", I'll punch it and make it shut up.

[jackrock]

Hi Full!


Your tummy ache will go away when the alien hatches from your stomach. Sure, it will be intense pain for about five minutes but shortly after you will be good and pain free i.e. deceased.
dude seriously it didn't go away till this morning. I could feel the pain in my gut in my sleep, no joke. Great advice you no good sack of crap :mad:

~starved and angry

[Echewta]

Dont treat me like a girl and ignore me.

[The Notorious LOL]

I didnt watch your video. Describe it to me and I will give my opinion.

[Randetica]

boob sweat?

[Echewta]

I will not.

[miss soul fire]

Dear Mr. LOL,

You make me nervous.
Why?
:o

Guganhall

[sercomdj01]

Mr Lol? How come your mean but i still like you as a poster?
Do i like feeling regected or just find you funny?
Do you do councilling?

[Dorothy Wood]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4Y74Dbxl9s&search=clerks%202

:)

it makes me hot.


dear tnlol,

why are cats?

confused in iowa

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Mr. LOL,

You make me nervous.
Why?
:o

Guganhall




Hi Miss Soul Fire!


Excellent question. I seem to make a lot of people nervous. In some ways its kind of cool, in others it can be somewhat of a cause of isolation I suppose. Ive spent a lot of time perfecting the "dont fuck with me" attitude and in all honestly its almost worked too well. Im not that big of an asshole though, I swear :(

[The Notorious LOL]

Mr Lol? How come your mean but i still like you as a poster?
Do i like feeling regected or just find you funny?
Do you do councilling?



Hi sercomdj01!



I could best be described as a "loveable asshole". I can really be an irritating intolerable son of a bitch, but when people get to know me they generally appreciate that harsh obnoxious side. Its cute.

[The Notorious LOL]

dear tnlol,

why are cats?

confused in iowa




Hi Confused In Iowa.



Cats are.

[cosmo105]

just wanted to say thanks for the advice! he still hasn't shaved, but boy have i been having fun trying out your suggestions!

[The Notorious LOL]

thanks for the feedback, cosmo!

[paul jones]

Hi Paul Jones!


Canned Spaghetti tastes bad for a number of reasons. First being that the sauce used is of a low grade quality compared to separate sauces purchased in stores. Often times the canned stuff has tomato paste made from the most neglected ass fruit fly infested tomato farm in Mexico. On top of that, the quality control allows at least 20 rat droppings and up to or including 2 drops of human ejaculatory fluid in each can. Regular old spaghetti rarely has any cum in it.

thanks for that!

Question 2. What's the best way to heal a blistered big toe?

[The Notorious LOL]

Hi Paul!



The best way to heal a blistered toe is to remove the toe! After all, once its blistered its as good as gone. Feed it to a dog for good luck.

[Lo_Lyfe]

LOL

what do i do now? do you think i can change it up a little?

peace out

Krozby Stillzanash

[The Notorious LOL]

Dear Lo Lyfe,


I think its possible to change it up. All you gotta do is be like "well, this is kinda wack" and buy a new one. Now, they dont sell em cheap so youd better save a bit. Dont miss payments because they'll reposess it in a hurry. After you have it for about half a year, you gotta get it spayed otherwise it'll go into heat.


so yeah, just buy a new one and you're good.

[ggirlballa]

hello!

[The Notorious LOL]

hello!

[little j]

darling notorious,

i've been shaving my ahem...area...for years now and im getting bored with it. what do you suggest i do to kinda make it more exciting and different?

sincerely,

hairless in VA

[HOTWIFE]

Dear Notorious LOL,

Why hasn't someone assassinated Paris Hilton yet? Hmm?

Sincerely,
HOTWIFE

[Justin]

Who the fuck you think you are? FDR?

If thats the case...

Why hasnt there been a good president since FDR?