skra75
07-25-2006, 08:39 AM
I had a very special final sunday in San Diego, so...let me recap:
1) Missed my flight by 1 Minute 45 seconds. You have to arrive 30 minutes early, and I got to the kiosk late. Balls!
2) Carted my shit through security to go 'standby' on another flight, got additional screening (where they pull you out of line and go through your underwear in your suitcase). Kind of humiliating.
3) Got to my gate for standby and found out that the shit was overbooked anyways and I had about a .001% chance of getting on. Decided to call the automated service that lets you re-book flights, got the robotic voice-recognizing operator who kept fucking up when I'd try to tell him my flight info. So....I ending up just saying "OPERATOR PLEASE" and he/it still couldn't understandme, finally got through and it was someone from India (I presume) and then HE couldn't understand me either! Finally booked a flight - but it was the 10:45Pm redeye with layover thru Charlotte at 6:00am.
4) My new flight was with US Air, so I went to another terminal, and had to go through security again - and got Special screened again! They took my underwear out again, wiped my shoes with special drug-sensitive cloths and all that, it sucked.
5) I was mightily dusted from the night before so I collapsed on a seat in the terminal, zonked out for maybe 3 hours. Long night...
6) Woke up and ate a bad pizza and had a beer or two. Met some guy who said "hey, you're stuck here - don't stay at the airport, do something else". So I took a cab out of the airport.
7) decided to go see the USS Midway Aircraft carrier docked at the Embarquedero (sp?). It was fresh, saw a bunch of sweet fighter jets, including an f-14 on the flight deck.
8) Took a pedal-cab (like a rickshaw, they are everywhere in SD but are expensive) to the Kansas City BBQ, made famous from the movie "Top Gun", as seen in the unforgettable "You lost that loving feeling" gay moment with Goose and Maverick. Met some guy form New Jersey there, here was absolutely plowed and we had beers and ribs and he talked shit in his effing hilarious jersey accent and made me feel at home. At some point Crystal called and I was already a few deep due to Happy Hour, said g'bye.
9) Took a cab back to SD airport with a driver who was convinced that Silver Surfer needs to be a blockbuster movie, and explained all the social-political reasons why. He complimented my large Headphones I was wearing. I said, "Thanks man".
10) Went back through security and got Screened AGAIN! (!) (!) (!) At this point I'm a little drunk and am laughing about the whole thing. They took my lighter away from me, 99¢ I'll never get back party ppl...
11) Had a few more at the bar near my gate. Started to feel a little homesick, felt a bit like a lush. Met this cool girl from NYC who was an artist who was coming back from SDCCon, turned out her day job was a fashion designer with "Jimmy-Z". I was like "What? Jimmy-z is still around?". She laughed about it and said it was a mixed bag, I told her I know how it feels. We co-miserated about being corporate ppl, good times.
12) Got on my plane and *cold*passed*out*. Woke up as the plane was landing. Got a sweet southern breakfast in Charlotte, grits eggs and gravy. Couldn't eat it all...my appetite aint what it used to be since all of the mess with the divorce at home. ugh.
13) Landed in Cleveland. I was greeted by my kids who were very happy to see me. It felt good to see them, they are two of the most honest people I know, and it felt good to be surrounded by that unconditional love after jetting around the country.
14) Had to run with my kids to get to my layover in Washington DC. Barely made it on the plane. It sucked and I realized I'm in bad shape and I need to start going to the gym.
15) Finally made it back home to RI - and my bags got lost! I didn't have a carseat and I almost totally lost my cool and cussed out the baggage guy, but kept it level. He had an extra seat - so I drove my ass home.
16) Got home to see that evil bitch of my wife standing there. I hate seeing her cold cold empty blue eyes. She's all trying to be friendly. I suddenly feel the weights on my shoulders and my head bow down low, I can't be around her. Exhausted, I collapse and sleep for a solid 4 hours.
17) I wake up and she's made some kind of turnip soup. really complex shit. It's good, but I can barely eat especially since I'm around her and it's a complete headfuck...there eating homemade soup with my family that isn't even really a family anymore. I help put the kids to bed, unpack, listen to some Murs and El-P. argue with her...go out for a cigar on the beach...come back....pass out around 8:30.
I think I've slept more in the past 24 hours than I have in my entire life. Ouch.
1) Missed my flight by 1 Minute 45 seconds. You have to arrive 30 minutes early, and I got to the kiosk late. Balls!
2) Carted my shit through security to go 'standby' on another flight, got additional screening (where they pull you out of line and go through your underwear in your suitcase). Kind of humiliating.
3) Got to my gate for standby and found out that the shit was overbooked anyways and I had about a .001% chance of getting on. Decided to call the automated service that lets you re-book flights, got the robotic voice-recognizing operator who kept fucking up when I'd try to tell him my flight info. So....I ending up just saying "OPERATOR PLEASE" and he/it still couldn't understandme, finally got through and it was someone from India (I presume) and then HE couldn't understand me either! Finally booked a flight - but it was the 10:45Pm redeye with layover thru Charlotte at 6:00am.
4) My new flight was with US Air, so I went to another terminal, and had to go through security again - and got Special screened again! They took my underwear out again, wiped my shoes with special drug-sensitive cloths and all that, it sucked.
5) I was mightily dusted from the night before so I collapsed on a seat in the terminal, zonked out for maybe 3 hours. Long night...
6) Woke up and ate a bad pizza and had a beer or two. Met some guy who said "hey, you're stuck here - don't stay at the airport, do something else". So I took a cab out of the airport.
7) decided to go see the USS Midway Aircraft carrier docked at the Embarquedero (sp?). It was fresh, saw a bunch of sweet fighter jets, including an f-14 on the flight deck.
8) Took a pedal-cab (like a rickshaw, they are everywhere in SD but are expensive) to the Kansas City BBQ, made famous from the movie "Top Gun", as seen in the unforgettable "You lost that loving feeling" gay moment with Goose and Maverick. Met some guy form New Jersey there, here was absolutely plowed and we had beers and ribs and he talked shit in his effing hilarious jersey accent and made me feel at home. At some point Crystal called and I was already a few deep due to Happy Hour, said g'bye.
9) Took a cab back to SD airport with a driver who was convinced that Silver Surfer needs to be a blockbuster movie, and explained all the social-political reasons why. He complimented my large Headphones I was wearing. I said, "Thanks man".
10) Went back through security and got Screened AGAIN! (!) (!) (!) At this point I'm a little drunk and am laughing about the whole thing. They took my lighter away from me, 99¢ I'll never get back party ppl...
11) Had a few more at the bar near my gate. Started to feel a little homesick, felt a bit like a lush. Met this cool girl from NYC who was an artist who was coming back from SDCCon, turned out her day job was a fashion designer with "Jimmy-Z". I was like "What? Jimmy-z is still around?". She laughed about it and said it was a mixed bag, I told her I know how it feels. We co-miserated about being corporate ppl, good times.
12) Got on my plane and *cold*passed*out*. Woke up as the plane was landing. Got a sweet southern breakfast in Charlotte, grits eggs and gravy. Couldn't eat it all...my appetite aint what it used to be since all of the mess with the divorce at home. ugh.
13) Landed in Cleveland. I was greeted by my kids who were very happy to see me. It felt good to see them, they are two of the most honest people I know, and it felt good to be surrounded by that unconditional love after jetting around the country.
14) Had to run with my kids to get to my layover in Washington DC. Barely made it on the plane. It sucked and I realized I'm in bad shape and I need to start going to the gym.
15) Finally made it back home to RI - and my bags got lost! I didn't have a carseat and I almost totally lost my cool and cussed out the baggage guy, but kept it level. He had an extra seat - so I drove my ass home.
16) Got home to see that evil bitch of my wife standing there. I hate seeing her cold cold empty blue eyes. She's all trying to be friendly. I suddenly feel the weights on my shoulders and my head bow down low, I can't be around her. Exhausted, I collapse and sleep for a solid 4 hours.
17) I wake up and she's made some kind of turnip soup. really complex shit. It's good, but I can barely eat especially since I'm around her and it's a complete headfuck...there eating homemade soup with my family that isn't even really a family anymore. I help put the kids to bed, unpack, listen to some Murs and El-P. argue with her...go out for a cigar on the beach...come back....pass out around 8:30.
I think I've slept more in the past 24 hours than I have in my entire life. Ouch.