there's a curse on me.

[Dorothy Wood]

so, one of my old boyfriends has been texting and emailing me a lot lately. we dated 4 years ago, but have kept in contact. he lives in the next state, last time I saw him was maybe 2 years ago, I forget. well, he has a girlfriend, they live together. he's saying things like, "think of me" and alluding to our past together. but I usually just shrug it off as him joking around.

but in response to a bulletin I made about my birthday, he wrote to me:

I wish I could be there. Fuck, maybe I will be there and just deal with the repercussions.

blah.


and I wrote back

yay! come! we have couches!

before really reading that far into it...thinking the repercussions were work-related.

but then! he wrote

I can see it happening...she will be gone that weekend....



:mad:

then he texted me something about decimals and how it's tough to be my friend. and I said "what kind of jive you talkin?", and he hasn't written back.

what the crap. why?! boys are so goofy. anyway, I don't know what to do. I know what you people think I should do. but the truth is, I don't want to stop being friends with him because he makes me laugh and stuff and I really would like him to visit. but not if it's under shady circumstances. hmph.

[hitmonlee]

my ex slips up and tells me he loves me all the time so i keep contact minimal.

sounds like yours still likes/loves/wants to fuck you. don't hurt him. keep contact minimal.

don't know how you can get out of inviting him over though.

[skra75]

what the crap. why?! boys are so goofy. anyway, I don't know what to do. I know what you people think I should do. but the truth is, I don't want to stop being friends with him because he makes me laugh and stuff and I really would like him to visit. but not if it's under shady circumstances. hmph.

yes, we are fucked up. at least alot of us are.
I wish I had decent advice to give you.

I think, if the guy has a girlfriend whom he lives with, I personally wouldn't trust that guy as far as I could drop-kick his cheating ass.

kinda seems like you are playing with fire though, for real. shit might get real awkward. my 2¢

[Dorothy Wood]

my ex slips up and tells me he loves me all the time so i keep contact minimal.

sounds like yours still likes/loves/wants to fuck you. don't hurt him. keep contact minimal.

don't know how you can get out of inviting him over though.

my most recent ex still tells me he loves me every time I see him. he also squeezes me real hard and kisses me on the forehead or cheek. the other night after seeing him out at a show, he texted me after he'd left with, "you had a fucking phenomenal hair night". and :mad: he has a girlfriend too! what a bunch of stinking crap, seriously. everytime he says, "I love you" to me, I say, "don't tell me that!" and he says, "but it's true!" and I go :mad:

this always happens to me, I'm sick of it. I want something to work out normal for once. people are always coming back to me, but then they never actually choose me. it's weird. I'm high, so I'm thinking about this way too hard, heh.

[skra75]

I'm high, so I'm thinking about this way too hard, heh.

fucking classic. you're a big hippie.

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm not a hippie, I just haven't had stuff in the house for a few weeks, so I'm all, "woo hoo! ima get bonered and watch NOVA!"

string theory, yikes. it was hard to keep up. I think mostly because the guy was describing things in terms of a loaf of bread and slices and jelly, and I was like, "just tell me the real science words you dork!"

and it was free too. I hung out with my friend sunday night and passed out on his couch watching some interview show with some guy from the CIA who was a master of disguise. then in the morning, he was like, "here", and handed me at least $20 worth of good shit for free. happy birthday to me!

[skra75]

then in the morning, he was like, "here", and handed me at least $20 worth of good shit for free. happy birthday to me!

sure, sure.
you front, but I bet you're sitting there with your Phish acoustic jam-session DVD on full blast, spinning around in your living room with a bejewelled gypsy skirt on. don't lie, you homo.

[Dorothy Wood]

yuck!

[QueenAdrock]

Stupid boys! There's a boy that I used to sorta-see off and on for about 2 months back in February and March. We hung out, we had maybe a few dates, but he'd mainly go out with my friends and me. I didn't talk to him much after March, met and started dating Droppin' in May, he finds out at the end of May and gets kinda upset. He doesn't respect our relationship either, and is totally downplaying any kind of seriousness Brett and I may have.

And just 2 nights ago, we got really drunk at my friend's birthday party. He asked earlier if he could crash on my couch, and I was like "sure" because he was sober when he asked me and I didn't expect him to do anything. We get dropped off drunk at my apartment, I show him the couch, give him pillows and a blanket, show him how to work the fan and show him the bathroom and walk into my room to go to sleep. He follows me, sits down on my bed next to me and starts giving me a back massage and telling me how beautiful I am. WTF. After feeling awkward, my brother comes home and I jump up to greet him. The guy follows, and then says "I'm going to go look at your laptop!" and runs BACK to my room, and sprawls out on my bed. My brother (being the awesome guy he is) says "Yo. I'm going to sleep. What say you go to the living room, I'll help you settle in." and boots him outta my room.

:mad: Stupid fucking boys can't take a hint sometimes. I told him about Brett. I've told him I'm happy. And he does this stuff when he's sober too.

Brett told me I need to stand up for myself and tell him he's making me uncomfortable, but I'm still really bad with that kind of thing. :(

[Documad]

Brett told me I need to stand up for myself and tell him he's making me uncomfortable, but I'm still really bad with that kind of thing. :(
DS is correct. It's tough to start standing up for yourself, but it gets a little easier every time you do it.

It's amazing to me how often I see young women bothered by older drunk guys in public and the girls look very uncomfortable but don't do anything about it and it just goes on and on. I recently shoved one such guy who was bothering two girls at a club. As drunk as he was, he took a really hard look in my eyes, then I flicked my hands in unison to say "move along" and he looked at my eyes again and then decided to leave. The girls he was bothering thought I was super cool. I would have talked to him instead of shoving him but I was tired and the music was loud and I didn't want to put my head close enough to his to be heard over the music.

Still, I had a drunk guy proposition me when I was alone on the tube one night and I was less assertive than usual in standing up for my own self and it made me feel like shit for a few hours. Ah, life is complicated.

[skra75]

I recently shoved one such guy who was bothering two girls at a club. As drunk as he was, he took a really hard look in my eyes, then I flicked my hands in unison to say "move along" and he looked at my eyes again and then decided to leave.

That was you! :mad:

[Dorothy Wood]

ah, the thing about the first guy is he is kind of nutty. when I saw him two years ago it was because he just up and decided he was going to visit me after the other boyfriend and I had broken up. he just called and then showed up. it was weird though and he was feeling sick, so he went home the same day. strange man. he lives like two hours away. he met his girlfriend soon after that.

I want a cookie.

[QueenAdrock]

I actually want cookies, too. There was a good place back in College Park that was a bakery open from 8 PM - 8 AM called "Baked at Night" and catered to mostly stoners heahhehhehahahaha

I should look them up.

[Drederick Tatum]

Dorothy loves bead jewellery.

[Dorothy Wood]

I'll bead your jewelry. ifyaknowwhatimeanbecauseidon't

[skra75]

Dorothy loves bead jewellery.

it's true.
she makes it out of fimo all by herself, and then she trades them for fatty-kind veggie burritos at Hookah-ville.
I'm really proud of her.

[Documad]

That was you! :mad:
Probably just a coincidence. :p

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm not a hippie!

:mad:

[drizl]

cmon d wood, if you smoke pot you're a hippy.

dont lead the guy into thinking there is any chance if you dont want there to be. if you want there to be, go for it, who cares. do watchyawannadooooo. but if its going to cause regret, rethink it, might not be worth it.

[drizl]

sounds like this guy just wants a peice of your ass

[Loppfessor]

and I said "what kind of jive you talkin?"


I'd want to date you just for saying that.....anyway my guess would be that he's going through some personal stuff right now and not really sure if he's happy or whatever. The tendency in that situation for a lot of guys or maybe even people is to revert back to a time or place when they did feel happy or at least secure. So he's missing you and thinking that somehow if he can be back with you then he will be happy again. It's weird but people do it. Every time I break up with a girl I think back to the very first serious girlfriend I ever had and miss her for some reason.

[enree erzweglle]

It sounds to me like he's testing the waters to see if you're up for doing something (cheaty) with him while his girlfriend is out of town. (But I think you know that already.)

What would I do? I wouldn't want to be a friend with someone who would scam his GF or treat me like that. But if I did still want that friendship for whatever reason, I wouldn't invite him over or go out with him as long as I was getting the sense about him that he was interested in resuming or pursuing something with me.

I've been in that situation and it's usually a miserable one. I have always gotten terribly uncomfortable when guys persist in flirting when they know that I'm either unavailable or uninterested, so when I get that sense about a guy and when he won't back down, I just avoid doing anything with him.

[Qdrop]

men aren't all like this...
Sarky just picks very poor men who are clingy shitheads with low morals.

whether it's intentional or what....
she LOVES the attention she gets from them...ESPECIALLY when they have girlfriends and years have gone by...

despite her pleading otherwise....she doesn't think this is a curse...
she sees it as ego-stroking.

[enree erzweglle]

whether it's intentional or what....
she LOVES the attention she gets from them...ESPECIALLY when they have girlfriends and years have gone by...The thing is this: I think Sarky knows the answers to the questions she asks in [a lot of] her threads. So sometimes it seems to me that the questions are in place to just act as conduits for the story. I think it's the story she wants to tell. And that's okay but most times, it all seems like thinly veiled excuses to tell people about some particular thing that she perceives as being brag worthy, impressive and so you never quite know whether or not to take it seriously.

[Otis Driftwood]

There is surely no curse on your head. I don't have to explain to you what he's after, maybe he wants to mess with your head as well. Don't get to worked up about it, just tell him he's history and he shouldn't try bringing the problems from his relationship over, cause it's quite amazing you're still talking to each other (As a general rule I never talk to my exes) .

[Qdrop]

The thing is this: I think Sarky knows the answers to the questions she asks in [a lot of] her threads. So sometimes it seems to me that the questions are in place to just act as conduits for the story. I think it's the story she wants to tell. And that's okay but most times, it all seems like thinly veiled excuses to tell people about some particular thing that she perceives as being brag worthy, impressive and so you never quite know whether or not to take it seriously.

you have so much more tact then me.

i kinda envy that.

[Dorothy Wood]

The thing is this: I think Sarky knows the answers to the questions she asks in [a lot of] her threads. So sometimes it seems to me that the questions are in place to just act as conduits for the story. I think it's the story she wants to tell. And that's okay but most times, it all seems like thinly veiled excuses to tell people about some particular thing that she perceives as being brag worthy, impressive and so you never quite know whether or not to take it seriously.


well, in this case it's both. I brag about how my exes all still want me because nobody else seems to want me...except that other guy with a girlfriend (who I have backed away from until (if ever) he breaks up with her, because I felt like I was starting to be in the mistress position and I didn't like it. anyway, I'm frustrated because I don't understand why they think I'm terrific, but no SINGLE men do.

also, I'm just trying to think out loud. because with this guy...I don't know, I like him, he's always had a place in my heart. barf. cordo said, "if he professed his love for you and moved here, would you just date him" and I just said, "yeah" and blushed, then I was like, "fuck, oh god, I don't know" and she laughed and laughed. :(

[Dorothy Wood]

men aren't all like this...
Sarky just picks very poor men who are clingy shitheads with low morals.

whether it's intentional or what....
she LOVES the attention she gets from them...ESPECIALLY when they have girlfriends and years have gone by...

despite her pleading otherwise....she doesn't think this is a curse...
she sees it as ego-stroking.


NO I DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE GIRLFRIENDS! IT MAKES ME SICK. I want them to never have a girlfriend again and just pine away for me forever! and then I get to fool around with them anytime I want whenever I feel like it!

that's the truth.

[Qdrop]

NO I DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE GIRLFRIENDS! IT MAKES ME SICK. I want them to never have a girlfriend again and just pine away for me forever! and then I get to fool around with them anytime I want whenever I feel like it!

that's the truth.

i'm sure it is.

[g-mile7]

men aren't all like this...
Sarky just picks very poor men who are clingy shitheads with low morals.

whether it's intentional or what....
she LOVES the attention she gets from them...ESPECIALLY when they have girlfriends and years have gone by...

despite her pleading otherwise....she doesn't think this is a curse...
she sees it as ego-stroking.


She is not curse, more blind then anything....and maybe its time to stop and give people chances that she normally might not have. I posted this on another board, but I feel it fits right here (was waiting for the right thread to post it in):



The fact is that one should never ever have to change themselves because of what society dictates. By the standards listed on getting a girl (i.e. being a jerk) one must see what is attached to these jerks aka ladies men: abusive (physically, mentally, or both), unkind, etc. If that the case I rather not be known as a jerk.

The other thing ladies seem to forget is that one can still be a hard ass and still be able to rock the poetic/romantic. I mean I will not be one to let you run all over me. I will hold my own in an argument and will not let any person try and push me over. There is a middle ground, it just on you as the guy and the girl as an observer to look and find it. I have found it, but in my area the obvious is rewarded more then that which has to be serached for. It seems that a lot of women nowadays (all ages) seem to list what they look for in a guy and then not follow those criteria. See it seems that even if you match a lot of what the girl is searching for, you’re missing one or two items off a list of 50 that the girl is looking for. In comes the jerk and he is matching the missing pieces you do not have, for it is the missing pieces the girl values the most. Money, or the fact that you appear to be too easy to mold into what she wants (i.e.: girls want a fixer upper). Or, as always, the weak ass excuse of how I love him due to the fact that for a couple months or years or whatever he was perfect now he is abusive....I doubt that anyone can suppress their real personality that deep and for that long without giving you a sample of how he can truly be.

An example of some of the bullshit that is flaoting all over myspace (by girls I know who notroriously pick jerks)


-----------------Girls--------------

-----------are like apples------

-------on trees. The best ones-----

-----are at the top of the tree.-----

---The boys dont want to reach---

--for the good ones because they--

-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-

-Instead, they get the rotten apples-

from the ground that arent as good,

but easy. So the apples up top think

something wrong w/ them when in

-reality they're amazing. They just--

---have to wait for the right boy to

---- come along, the one who's-

----------- brave enough to-----

---------------climb all---------

---------------the way--------

--------------to the top--------

-------------of the tree.---------
Will not go out with a man who hasnt asked me out first.

I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting be the phone.

I will not date a man who isn't "sure" that he wants to date me.

i will no date a man who drinks are does drugs TO AN EXTENT that makes me feel uncomfortable.

i will not be with a man whos afraid to talk about our future.

I will not date a man is "kinda" involved with someone else.

i will not be with a guy who doesnt feel proud to say that I AM HIS GIRL.

I will not be with a guy who doesnt want to be seenholding my hand.

I will not be with a man who doesnt value my opinions when and if they're different from his.

I will not be with a man who is not working towards the future

I will not be with a guy who hasnt graduated high school..its not that hard drop outs.. keep walking..

I will not date a guy who doesnt love and respect his mother.

I will not be with a guy whos always trying to impress his friends.

I will not be with a fake poser guy whos always following trends.. if you all the sudden turned all "gangster" and are all about the thizz face and stunna shades.. again.. keep walking..

I will not date a man who thinks hes above me in any aspect or form.

I will not under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.

i will not date a man who makes me feel undesirable.

i wil not date a guy who doesnt allow me to be ME.

I will not date a guy whos overly jelouse and over protective.. just Trust ME..



Leave her cute text messages.
Kiss her in front of your friends.
Trust her over everyone else.
Tell her she looks beautiful.
Look her in the eye when you talk to her.
Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.
Let her mess with your hair.
Just walk around with her.
Include her in everything you do.
When she crys do whatever to make her smile.
Forgive her for her mistakes.
Look at her like she's the only girl you see.
Tickle her even if she says stop.
When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Stay up with her all night when she's sick.
Watch her favorite movie.
kiss her forehead.
Give her the world.
Write her letters.
Let her wear your clothes.
When she's sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she is important.
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.
Kiss her in the rain.
And when you fall in love with her, tell her.
And when you do tell her.. Love her like you never loved before

.






I have this philosophy/theory:



I hate it when girls list out what they look for in a guy and when you say 'hey I match your list' they all of a sudden change it, y'all foolish for that' See my philosophy is that their is a door when trying to talk to a girl, and you have to find the right key (common interests, your a rich bastard etc) to get in, I found several keys that worked, and just when I was bout to walk in singing joy 2 the F'n world, she drops the bomb on me and closes the door on my leg. And by not having any chance to make anything with her, I’m in that metaphoric wheelchair and the door is not wheelchair accessible...

Also this:



"In the Valley of the Blind, the one eyed man will be King" same with girls as well....

The reason is this: when you operate from yours soul's window blindly then all it takes is for one man, with one eye (meaning to me he doesn’t even have to be the flyest, most intelligent gent) then it is easy to manipulate everything that you believe. Ladies must realize that they have more power then they give themselves credit for and change this. How you ask? You change this by changing your own behavior analyzing what you really want in your life, not pitying yourself when shit goes wrong and making moves to get to where you should be. This solution also includes telling people (and this is guys too who can be used by the jerk ass girls I got uncles to prove it) close to them that they can do better or find better and to give so-so a chance.

The rudest thing one can do is to complain about your man to a person who you know has openly expressed some feelings towards to want to be with you. Ladies, this is rude beyond belief. For the reason is that the best choice and the way to escape the pains you are going through are to at least give this person a chance. What is the damage in one chance, one month of dating or whatever? Many "nice" guys just want a chance....just a chance to let you know what it can be like to have you partner be your friend (some cases "best") and isn't that supposed to be the main thing people say that my husband/wife or whatever is my best friend? If you’re telling the guy he is the "only guy to ever show (you) respect" (as one of my homies had done to him) this included everyone you have met male including your boyfriend.

To best summarize this point this statement:




A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired

[Echewta]

http://www.break.com/index/twisting_sisters.html

[Drederick Tatum]

Sarky, is it true that your computer is powered by compost?

[Dorothy Wood]

remind me not to make threads about boys when I'm stiz.

my computer is powered by good old fashioned american 'lectricity!

[skra75]

Sarky, is it true that your computer is powered by compost?

she's actually got it hooked up to big wind turbine in her back yard. what a concept, I saw it myself.

it's all good, even though the thing weighs in at 400 pounds and is about 10 feet in diameter, it gives her all the juice she needs to check out the latest posts on the Black Crowes message board.

[Loppfessor]

g-mile droppin knowledge.....I still like my theory though

[Dorothy Wood]

g-mile droppin knowledge.....I still like my theory though

yeah, I think your theory is pretty much my theory. anyway, I think I'm gonna tell him not to come. I don't want to have to entertain anyone. plus, he asked yesterday if his girlfriend could come...so I was all, "um, sure". but really I don't want her to come because although I'm sure she's nice, I don't know her and things are bound to get rowdy late and I don't want to have to be a host to out of town visitors. because it's my birthday bitches!

besides, tonight I'm going to invite cutie bartender from the pub across the street to my party. and then we're gonna kiss.

[cosmo105]

I'd want to date you just for saying that.....anyway my guess would be that he's going through some personal stuff right now and not really sure if he's happy or whatever. The tendency in that situation for a lot of guys or maybe even people is to revert back to a time or place when they did feel happy or at least secure. So he's missing you and thinking that somehow if he can be back with you then he will be happy again. It's weird but people do it. Every time I break up with a girl I think back to the very first serious girlfriend I ever had and miss her for some reason.
i know so many guys like this. and one of them kept coming back to me year after year...i finally had to tell him, stop calling me. it ain't gonna happen. it's over for a reason.

[g-mile7]

g-mile droppin knowledge.....I still like my theory though


And I liked yours as well...it reminded me of simlar situions I have been involved with in the past

[hardnox71]

She is not curse, more blind then anything....and maybe its time to stop and give people chances that she normally might not have. I posted this on another board, but I feel it fits right here (was waiting for the right thread to post it in):



The fact is that one should never ever have to change themselves because of what society dictates. By the standards listed on getting a girl (i.e. being a jerk) one must see what is attached to these jerks aka ladies men: abusive (physically, mentally, or both), unkind, etc. If that the case I rather not be known as a jerk.

The other thing ladies seem to forget is that one can still be a hard ass and still be able to rock the poetic/romantic. I mean I will not be one to let you run all over me. I will hold my own in an argument and will not let any person try and push me over. There is a middle ground, it just on you as the guy and the girl as an observer to look and find it. I have found it, but in my area the obvious is rewarded more then that which has to be serached for. It seems that a lot of women nowadays (all ages) seem to list what they look for in a guy and then not follow those criteria. See it seems that even if you match a lot of what the girl is searching for, you’re missing one or two items off a list of 50 that the girl is looking for. In comes the jerk and he is matching the missing pieces you do not have, for it is the missing pieces the girl values the most. Money, or the fact that you appear to be too easy to mold into what she wants (i.e.: girls want a fixer upper). Or, as always, the weak ass excuse of how I love him due to the fact that for a couple months or years or whatever he was perfect now he is abusive....I doubt that anyone can suppress their real personality that deep and for that long without giving you a sample of how he can truly be.

An example of some of the bullshit that is flaoting all over myspace (by girls I know who notroriously pick jerks)














I have this philosophy/theory:




Also this:



The reason is this: when you operate from yours soul's window blindly then all it takes is for one man, with one eye (meaning to me he doesn’t even have to be the flyest, most intelligent gent) then it is easy to manipulate everything that you believe. Ladies must realize that they have more power then they give themselves credit for and change this. How you ask? You change this by changing your own behavior analyzing what you really want in your life, not pitying yourself when shit goes wrong and making moves to get to where you should be. This solution also includes telling people (and this is guys too who can be used by the jerk ass girls I got uncles to prove it) close to them that they can do better or find better and to give so-so a chance.

The rudest thing one can do is to complain about your man to a person who you know has openly expressed some feelings towards to want to be with you. Ladies, this is rude beyond belief. For the reason is that the best choice and the way to escape the pains you are going through are to at least give this person a chance. What is the damage in one chance, one month of dating or whatever? Many "nice" guys just want a chance....just a chance to let you know what it can be like to have you partner be your friend (some cases "best") and isn't that supposed to be the main thing people say that my husband/wife or whatever is my best friend? If you’re telling the guy he is the "only guy to ever show (you) respect" (as one of my homies had done to him) this included everyone you have met male including your boyfriend.

To best summarize this point this statement:
Right on, right on. That thing about the apples falling from the tree......I kinda liked that. That was alright. But that shit about 'I'm not gonna put up with this and I will not tolerate that and I refuse to do this and I will not be with someone who does that', and blah, blah, blah. I could immediately tell why that chick is by herself. She needs to be easy (meaning be chill, not be a ho) and take shit as it comes. Whoever wrote that shit is trippin.

[g-mile7]

Right on, right on. That thing about the apples falling from the tree......I kinda liked that. That was alright. But that shit about 'I'm not gonna put up with this and I will not tolerate that and I refuse to do this and I will not be with someone who does that', and blah, blah, blah. I could immediately tell why that chick is by herself. She needs to be easy (meaning be chill, not be a ho) and take shit as it comes. Whoever wrote that shit is trippin.


Well they need to stop lying and being a hypocrite. Follow your own damn playbook and stop running audibles whenever the guy you looking for comes.