My New Neighbor

[Yeti]

I met my new neighbor the other day. His name is Earl and he is probably in his mid 70s. He has an oxygen tank and we talked over the fence. Later in the day I was feeding my Koi in the pond over near his house. I saw him hooked up to the oxygen tank smoking a cigarette.
Last night I heard the ambulance---then a fire truck. There must have been 5emergency vehicles in front of his house.
This morning I spoke to his wife and he is in critical condition. I guess the lesson is----if you reguire oxygen you may want to quit smoking.

[ericlee]

*speaks through electrolarynx*

Do you like my new Humvee?

*wheeze*

It cost me 489,000,000 Camel cash

[Yeti]

I remember watching a movie. I think Emma Thompson was in it and Andy Garcia played an old man with one of those electronic voice boxes. He begged for a cigarette and then smoked it out of the hole in his throat:eek:

[ericlee]

I remember watching a movie. I think Emma Thompson was in it and Andy Garcia played an old man with one of those electronic voice boxes. He begged for a cigarette and then smoked it out of the hole in his throat:eek:

I saw that too!! Shit, dammit, fuck!! Now it's rack my brain time trying to remember the name of it.

On a side note: "Welcome to the Terror Dome, biatch"- CB4

[Yeti]

I think it had Dead in the title. Dead Again?

[marsdaddy]

I guess the lesson is----if you reguire oxygen you may want to quit smoking.And, if your oxygen assisted neighbor smokes, get out of the house!

[Yeti]

And, if your oxygen assisted neighbor smokes, get out of the house!

Can the tank explode? If that is the case my neighbor is like a daredevil.

[ericlee]

Am I supposed to feel sympathetic for these people though? They have caused that to themselves and they still insist to smoke while having to use oxygen.

I can't be mad at them for starting smoking but if they've gotten themself that far, it's their time to have a long talk with themself about quitting. If they cause further damage to themself from smoking while on oxygen, I can't feel sorrowful.

Just like people with cirrhosis of the liver. My mom's friend had to have a liver transplant because she drank it away. She was advised not to drink anymore with the new liver but, sure enough, that one is going bad too. My mom has no sorrow for her and neither do alot of her other friends.

[skra75]

I met my new neighbor the other day. His name is Earl and he is probably in his mid 70s. He has an oxygen tank and we talked over the fence. Later in the day I was feeding my Koi in the pond over near his house. I saw him hooked up to the oxygen tank smoking a cigarette.
Last night I heard the ambulance---then a fire truck. There must have been 5emergency vehicles in front of his house.
This morning I spoke to his wife and he is in critical condition. I guess the lesson is----if you reguire oxygen you may want to quit smoking.

I know I'm gonna sound like a dick, but when I read this I busted out laughing.

[ericlee]

I know I'm gonna sound like a dick, but when I read this I busted out laughing.

I laughed too, hence my post up there.

[Randetica]

I know I'm gonna sound like a dick, but when I read this I busted out laughing.

i didnt laugh till i read your post

bastard!

[marsdaddy]

Can the tank explode? If that is the case my neighbor is like a daredevil.Or an addict beyond caring.

[The Notorious LOL]

you people are such cynical assholes! You need to have empathy for this man. We should set up online donations in his wifes name to make sure he gets better.



paypal donations go to sendnickyourmoney@gmail.com

[g-mile7]

you people are such cynical assholes! You need to have empathy for this man. We should set up online donations in his wifes name to make sure he gets better.



paypal donations go to sendnickyourmoney@gmail.com


You also have to understand that if this man was 70 he might have been smoking since at the ver earliest 13 years old. Addiction is hard....plus he grew up in diffrent times to begin with by the time all the studies concluded that it was bad for your health he was too deep in the game, maybe, to quit. I feel sorry for him. I am just glad I never picked it up (smoking ciggrettes)

[Randetica]

you people are such cynical assholes! You need to have empathy for this man. We should set up online donations in his wifes name to make sure he gets better.



paypal donations go to sendnickyourmoney@gmail.com

lolomg

i pay with cigaretts and buffalo wings



lol buffalo wings

[ericlee]

you people are such cynical assholes! You need to have empathy for this man. We should set up online donations in his wifes name to make sure he gets better.



paypal donations go to sendnickyourmoney@gmail.com

Ok, I felt bad and sent him $500. Hey wait, his name was Earl. Damn you NLOL!

[Nuzzolese]

I always see hospital patients sitting outside smoking, with their IV drips beside them.

[mickill]

you people are such cynical assholes! You need to have empathy for this man. We should set up online donations in his wifes name to make sure he gets better.



paypal donations go to sendnickyourmoney@gmail.com

Can I just make you a mixtape?

[hardnox71]

you people are such cynical assholes! You need to have empathy for this man. We should set up online donations in his wifes name to make sure he gets better.



paypal donations go to sendnickyourmoney@gmail.com
You just can't let it go can you?

[cookiepuss]

fuck you guys

[marsdaddy]

I see people who smoke all the time, but it usually delineates classes and/or foreigners. It used to be cool to smoke, but now living is cooler.

Send your donations via paypal to marsdaddyhitsyouwithtwobyfour@hotmail.com

[skra75]

I'm not gonna lie. I find girls that smoke very attractive. especially good looking girls that look like they should not be smoking.

[Yeti]

Earl is out of the hospital! I was mowing the lawn and a truck stopped in front of my house. It was Earl driving and he waved me over. I stopped mowing and walked over to his truck. He had 3 oxygen tanks in his truck and tubes going into his nose. Of course, he was smoking a butt. He had purple lechions all over his arms. He showed me his leg and it was swollen. His cigarette and a huge ashe just dangling so he reached over to the ashe tray across his oxygen tank to give it a flick. Here is how the conversation went--

Earl--The Doc told me I almost didn't make it this time. I feel like a million bucks right now but my leg is swelling. Hey, I need to talk to you about that bamboo near your fish pond. Two of those stalks are leaning over my fence and I was thinking I might throw some RoundUp on it. You aren't attached to that bamboo are you?
Me--Well yeah, it is great for privacy and looks great around the Koi pond.
I will cut some back it will not be a problem and DON"T put RoundUp near my pond.
Earl--and you got some peaches on that tree that need to be picked because those damn squirrels are bringin them over in my yard. There is also a pecan tree growing on the corner of your fence and the limbs are startin to come over in my yard. Did you see that puppy over in my yard?
Me--Yeah, he is a good dog and doesn't bark.
Earl--I got him checked at the vet and found out he is full blooded pitbull. If he gives me any problem I'll put a bullet in his head.
Me--Why would you do that? Why not just ake him to the SPCA?
Earl--Listen, I don't know you to well but I am a war veteran and I'm like John Wayne I don't take shit from nobody. If you give me a problem I wouldn't have a problem puttin a cap in your ass.
Me--Huh? Really?
Earl--Nah, I'm just kiddin but I..(I interupt)
Me--I gotta get back to mowing the lawn.
Earl--OK, I might be going back to the hospital for my leg. (lights another cigarette and drives off)

Luckily, I have 2 city lots and the yard beside my house is a good distance from Earl.

Welcome home Earl!

[ericlee]

why is it that all veterans refer themselves as John Wayne?

Buy him a box of cigars. That should be appropriate bonding with him. The Duke liked to puff a little too.

[skra75]

(y) (y) (y)
What a top-shelf story. hot damn, I nearly shot beer out of my nose...

[alexandra]

you don't get an oxygen tank in sweden unless you quit smoking, 'cause yeah, that might happen...

[GuzzO]

Hey if he come back home, give him a good joint of weed!!! :D

[Yeti]

you don't get an oxygen tank in sweden unless you quit smoking, 'cause yeah, that might happen...

Last Wednesday I quit smoking after 22 years of polluting my lungs. I have been doing pretty well with nicotine gum and exercise to replace the sticks. I was out walking today with the baby and I saw my new neighbor Earl rolling his oxygen tank to his truck. A cigarette was hanging from his mouth. I said hello and for a split second thought of bumming a smoke from him. Then I thought for a second and popped another piece of gum in my mouth. I really think I will make it. I only really crave a smoke after I eat. Not too bad for a Marlboro Red pack-a-day smoker. Now, if I could talk my new neighbor Earl to join the quit smoking club. I doubt that will happen.

[Nivvie]

Last Wednesday I quit smoking after 22 years of polluting my lungs.

Well done.
I found the fourth year of not smoking the hardest, after that it was easy.

[marsdaddy]

You should buy Earl one of those motorized wheelchairs for when they amputate his leg. John Wayne would have rocked that, too.

[abcdefz]

I think it had Dead in the title. Dead Again?


Yep. That movie's an unintentional howlfest. (y)

[abcdefz]

*speaks through electrolarynx*

Do you like my new Humvee?

*wheeze*

It cost me 489,000,000 Camel cash


Nice.


*cringes at the future* :(

[Yeti]

Well, I went and visited Earl the other day. He was on his couch hooked up to oxygen and smoking cigarettes. He was saying that he has not been feeling well. He told me that Iraq was turning into another Vietnam. He let me know that he was a veteran and he took down of some Viet Cong. He also talked about how he just sits and watches Westerns on TV and wishes he could get out of the house.

I just heard loud sirens. I just looked out the window----a firetruck and a rescue squad van just pulled up to his house. I saw them take Earl out on a stretcher.

[Junker]

His name is Earl....

Earl Hickey???

[Yeti]

My neighbor Earl died last week. I went over to take his wife some lasagna. She said if I wanted to buy one of his guns I could take a look. I passed.

I miss seeing Earl. I still have the image of him on his back porch shirtless wearing suspenders, hooked to his oxygen tank, sucking on a Pall Mall and hand churning ice cream.

[abcdefz]

R.I.P., Earl.

[Randetica]

ah too bad, he was like a hero to me

R.I.P.