I have this friend

[Lex Diamonds]

Who used to have a girlfriend who put strawberry jam on her pussy and let him lick her out. This friend of mine did it so much with this girl that he got really used to the flavour and eventually addicted. Then she left him and my friend is craving the taste. He has tried everything but the closest he can get is strawberry jam and fish paste sandwiches, which don't quite get it right.

Any advice? If so please post, it would be much appreciated. By my friend.

[zorra_chiflada]

that's really bad for you, to put food on your vagina. and sick as well. yuck.

[ms.peachy]

Way to give a girl a yeast infection (y)

[tracky]

You know those strawberries and cream lollies (http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&rls=GGLG%2CGGLG%3A2006-14%2CGGLG%3Aen&q=strawberries+and+cream+lollies) you get, well I don't quite now how or why, but that's what I used to taste on the drive home at 4:00am. Now every time I eat them it's like eating ... well you know. So my advice is find the right girl (!)

[monkey]

i can think of worse confessions than "im addicted to strawberries and pussy!!!"

[Loppfessor]

That's a tough one....it might be easier for him to just try and win back his ex rather than try to duplicate the recipe...

[Lex Diamonds]

He put an ad in the Dirty Personals but so far no replies.

[Caribou]

'a friend'. Yeah sure. :rolleyes:

[Lex Diamonds]

I don't know what you're talking about. His name is Ken. Ken Surname...son. Ken Surnameson. He's not made up or anything.

[Loppfessor]

He put an ad in the Dirty Personals but so far no replies.


That's a tough one....it might be easier for him to just try and win back his ex rather than try to duplicate the recipe...


pay attention mannn!

[Lex Diamonds]

The ex died of complications arising due to excessive yeast in the bloodstream.

[g-mile7]

wow.

[Loppfessor]

The ex died of complications arising due to excessive yeast in the bloodstream.


Does she have a sister or perhaps a mom with MILF qualities??

[Lex Diamonds]

No sister, and her mom has no legs cuz she fought in the first Gulf War disguised as a man.

[The Notorious LOL]

I always hate the vagina = fish comparisions....and even moreso than they're commonplace enough where some people agree and say that is how it tastes. A flavor like that would indicate some kind of bacterial infection.

[Lex Diamonds]

OMG VAGINAL DISCHARGE

[beastieangel01]

eh, better than a chick putting peanut butter on herself for her dog to lick it off.

true story.

[The Notorious LOL]

thats not a true story. Ive heard 300,000 different people tell me that and they always say it was "the friend of someones sister" or someone just a few steps outside of the social circle where it could be verified.


Theres the suprise party involved in some versions.

[Loppfessor]

No sister, and her mom has no legs cuz she fought in the first Gulf War disguised as a man.


Wow you should have her mom take you to the VFW some time the drinks are crazy cheap and you get to hear war stories U-S-A!! U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!


Oh sorry we're getting off track here. Perhaps you should give Smuckers a call and see if they are willing to sponsor this new flavor. Ya know get some corporate muscle behind ya I bet they can come up with a synthetic version. I bet they invest millions in R&D

[mickill]

You should punch your friend in the face.

[Planetary]

You should punch your friend in the face.
why?

[beastiegirrl101]

OMG VAGINAL DISCHARGE

clitty litter!

[beastiegirrl101]

thats not a true story. Ive heard 300,000 different people tell me that and they always say it was "the friend of someones sister" or someone just a few steps outside of the social circle where it could be verified.


Theres the suprise party involved in some versions.

URBAN MYTH

or the one about the girl who got maggots because she let her man put tuna fish down there. Or the girl who had a frozen hot dog break off in her and she had to go to the ER.

[monkey]

URBAN MYTH

or the one about the girl who got maggots because she let her man put tuna fish down there. Or the girl who had a frozen hot dog break off in her and she had to go to the ER.

for some reason, i still believe there's people stupid enough to try this shit.

[beastieangel01]

for some reason, i still believe there's people stupid enough to try this shit.

oh, there is. There's always at least one person in the world to do/try such things.

[The Notorious LOL]

URBAN MYTH

or the one about the girl who got maggots because she let her man put tuna fish down there. Or the girl who had a frozen hot dog break off in her and she had to go to the ER.



hahaha oh yeah the hot dog one! And she needed her dad to help her but he couldnt...her fucking dad! of all the people you can possibly have assist you with a frozen hot dog dildo mishap who the fucks gonna ask dad to assist?

Also, the girls mom was riding in an elevator and a black guy got on and said "hit the floor lady" and she thought she was getting robbed so she fell to the floor. The next day she got a bouquet of flowers from none other than LIONEL RICHIE telling her that was the best laugh he has ever had.

[B4BY 4NN]

URBAN MYTH

or the one about the girl who got maggots because she let her man put tuna fish down there. Or the girl who had a frozen hot dog break off in her and she had to go to the ER.

I always thought that hotdog one was true :confused:

[paul jones]

Who used to have a girlfriend who put strawberry jam on her pussy and let him lick her out. This friend of mine did it so much with this girl that he got really used to the flavour and eventually addicted. Then she left him and my friend is craving the taste. He has tried everything but the closest he can get is strawberry jam and fish paste sandwiches, which don't quite get it right.

Any advice? If so please post, it would be much appreciated. By my friend.
go down Soho and see Granny No-Teeth, she'll sort him out good an' proper!(y) :cool:

[wrongwayandugg]

BEST THREAD EVER!!

[Caribou]

oh, there is. There's always at least one person in the world to do/try such things.

I read this book by a guy that used to work as a nightguard at the hospital, and he got some weirdo's coming in. Like a woman who had managed to get a vibrator stuck in her vadge... SIDEWAYS. The doctors had to wait till the batteries ran out, but she'd just changed them. I think she had about 20 orgasms before they finally ran out and it could be removed.
She must've been knackered after that.

[Lex Diamonds]

Yes yes it's all well and good to joke and be funny but this is a serious matter; I need advice! For my friend.

[Loppfessor]

I always thought that hotdog one was true :confused:

It is...well kinda this girl I went to high school masturbated with a hot dog at a party once....it didn't break and there was no ER but it was still quite a site for my 16 year old eyes

[Loppfessor]

Yes yes it's all well and good to joke and be funny but this is a serious matter; I need advice! For my friend.


Dude I already solved that problem for you like 3 times....what else ya got for ole' Loppy?

[Dorothy Wood]

when I was a kid I let the dog lick my crotch once. then I told my mom about it and she screamed. never put a hot dog in there though.

[Randetica]

I always hate the vagina = fish comparisions....and even moreso than they're commonplace enough where some people agree and say that is how it tastes. A flavor like that would indicate some kind of bacterial infection.

word (y)

[Randetica]

when I was a kid I let the dog lick my crotch once. then I told my mom about it and she screamed. never put a hot dog in there though.


i thought thats what dogs are made for :confused:

engrish my cunt

[marsdaddy]

Tell your friend to go on vacation, steal someone's toothbrush, and put strawberry jam on it.

[B4BY 4NN]

Banana.

I know a girl who got a Banana broken off inside her.
She stood up, walked about three steps toward the bathroom and the thing fell out.

True story, I was there

I was really drunk once and tried using a banana. I thought it would be hot for my ex to see, but thankfully he stopped me.

Only thing that guy was ever good for.

[Lex Diamonds]

If you're gonna use a banana, give it 30 seconds in the microwave beforehand.

And I found the solution: Jam, caviar, and a pinch of salt. (y)

[Randetica]

hey can i rape jack?

yes? kthx

[Lex Diamonds]

Jack's the friend I'm talking about.

[Randetica]

sometimes i hate to be so clever and awesome

[Lex Diamonds]

I love being clever and awesome. It's being completely irresistible to women that gets me down sometimes. I really am spoilt for choice.

[jackrock]

Padster, we're cousins... I wouldn't go so far as to call us friends.

[Lex Diamonds]

Whatever dude, just bend over and prepare for some strap-on.