Post your favorite paradoxes/ironic statements!

[QueenAdrock]

This one just came from my friend:

lets just kill all the people that are cool with genocide

Your turn!

[Bob]

homophobia is gay

i hate racists

fight for peace

[Nuzzolese]

There's a black fly in your chardonnay.

[b i o n i c]

imma kill you to death!

im not sure that im being paradoxical or ironic here but i like it


or my favorite, yogi berra:

# "This is like deja vu all over again."
# "You can observe a lot just by watching."
# "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
# "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
# "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
# "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
# "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
# "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
# "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
# "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
# "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
# "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
# "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."
# "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."
# "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
# "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
# "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
# "Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.
# Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
# "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
# "I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
# "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
# "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."
# "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
# "I made a wrong mistake."
# "Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.
# "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
# "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
# "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
# "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."
# "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
# "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."
# "How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."
# "I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.
# "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
# "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.
# "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
# "It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
# "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
# "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
# "I didn't really say everything I said."

[jackrock]

You could wake up dead tomorrow!

[abcdefz]

imma kill you to death!

im not sure that im being paradoxical or ironic here but i like it


or my favorite, yogi berra:

# "This is like deja vu all over again."
# "You can observe a lot just by watching."
# "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
# "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
# "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
# "Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
# "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
# "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
# "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
# "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
# "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
# "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
# "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."
# "Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."
# "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
# "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
# "It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
# "Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.
# Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
# "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
# "I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
# "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
# "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."
# "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
# "I made a wrong mistake."
# "Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.
# "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
# "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
# "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
# "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."
# "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
# "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."
# "How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."
# "I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.
# "The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
# "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.
# "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
# "It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
# "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
# "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
# "I didn't really say everything I said."




Those are malaproprisms, I think they're called.

[abcdefz]

I guess one of mine would be what Jesus said:

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life?"

[Dorothy Wood]

There's a black fly in your chardonnay.


or a death row pardon, two minutes too late. :(

[steve-onpoint]

There's a black fly in your chardonnay.

or a death row pardon, two minutes too late. :(

isn't that ironic?

[QueenAdrock]

dontcha think?

[steve-onpoint]

yeah, i really do think.

[hardnox71]

It's like rain on your wedding day


One of my favorites is: Nobody knows I'm famous.




# "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
This one is beautiful. I love this one. Yogi was damned good ball player and I'm sure a pretty fucking nice guy but, God, was that man thick.:rolleyes: