laundry room thief.

[Dr Deaf]

so over the course of the last year beth and i have been relieved of a siginificant amount of clothing items.

only once were we face to face with a culprit. it was at that moment we knew we hadn't lost any items but that we had them stolen from us.

in that instance, the suspect was on his way out of the laundry room as we were heading in. it took us awhile to put it together and by the time we did --the suspect was long gone. in that instance he procured a pair of beth's favourite jeans and a thrasher hoodie of mine. he stole these things from the washer moments after the spin cycle had ended.

(we used to set a kitchen timer in synch with the time on the washer and dryer, now we have to stand guard for the 1hr 26 min duration)

somehow in the last few washes i've been relieved of two additional tshirts. (jesus loves scott h biram and a triple 5 soul- souls of fury) i could have only left the washers unattended for 5 mins at the most to have a smoke or hang up wet t shirts.

i prepared a sign i plan on posting in there, it reads as follows:


ATTN: LAUNDRY THIEF

Although I’m flattered you appreciate my taste in t-shirts, hoodies and jeans… it’s important for you to know that I think you’re a piece of shit.

Get a job, get a life and buy your own stuff. You’re a despicable low-life piece of trash that has no respect for anyone or their property.

Any hope of my items being returned seems unlikely at this point. So go ahead and enjoy them. I hope you die in them, are buried in them and rot in them.

I hope to your god I see you wearing them around before that happens.

Jesus may love Scott H. Biram but he thinks you’re a fucking asshole.


do you think it's too much? should i just take the loss on the chin and bear it?

how about setting up a sting and catching the suspect in the act?

it sucks losing clothes and lots of times, you don't even notice they're gone until a few weeks later.

[DandyFop]

I would totally set up a sting. You should get somebody to play a police officer n shit too. Be like BOY YOU JUST GOT PUNKED.

[Dr Deaf]

perhaps i should secure a firearm first, just in case this thief is packing and a firefight ensues.

imagine, guns blazing in a tiny 10x8 laundry room?

i have a right to protect myself and my property from any felonious activities.

anything over $300 is a grand theft, so it would fit the criteria nicely.

motherfucker got blasted for stealing old faded out t-shirts, aw shit.

[Knuckles]

Here's what you do.

1. Buy a pack of tighty whitey underwear and a brown permanent marker.

2. Draw the most realistic skid marks you can.

3. Make sure some of your special "shit stained" drawers are in every load of laundry.

(y)

[mickill]

Yeah, bait them by walking out of the laundry room talking really loud, saying things like, "Boy oh boy, when I come back for that 3 piece Armani suit I just threw in the wash in about 3 HOURS from now, it sure will be nice! Hopefully the GOLD KRUGERRANDS IN THE POCKET don't fall out, too. That'd suck. Welp, I'm off now!" And then hide in a garbage can and wait.

[Dr Deaf]

haha. 3 piece suits in the washer. good times.

i hate to say this, but i do believe i got jacked for some boxers a few mos. back. i had 10 pairs of dex bros. boxers, now i have 4. we think it might be a transient and not a resident. either way is sucks.

[DandyFop]

I just like thinking about you and beth doing laundry together. I don't know why. It makes me smile. :confused:

[mickill]

I just like thinking about you and beth doing laundry together. I don't know why. It makes me smile. :confused:
Maybe it's because u r teh gheyz.

[Knuckles]

Do homeless people wear underwear?

[DandyFop]

Maybe it's because u r teh gheyz.

butt the fuck shut!

[beastieangel01]

how lame. Sorry you have this problem. I like that note, though.

[mickill]

The thing is, I don't think the note will stay up for very long, given the profanity and threatening implications. But other than that, it's a nicely written little note there.

[roosta]

you should print up a t-shirt that says "im a low-life clothes stealing cunt with no penis" and see if he robs that.

[Waus]

Do you have a friend that might have their own washer/dryer? Maybe you could work something out with them instead of having to monitor your laundry.

[Lyman Zerga]

wasnt me

im no second hand fan

when my mum asks me if i want some of her clothes im like EWW umm no thanks

[Helvete]

And you can't go and punch the fuck out of this guy?

[Qdrop]

And you can't go and punch the fuck out of this guy?

and them make a long thread about how bad you feel for brutalizing him with your massive masculinity.

[mp-seventythree]

I like the note personally, although it would be great to catch the little scrote red handed.

[hardnox71]

Here's the deal....

if this jagoff managed to boost some more of your shit while you were on a bathroom/smoke break then that means while you're watching your shit, he's watching you. It's too much of a coincidence that he just happens to show up while you're copping a squat. This leads me to believe that it's someone in your building. Someone who sees what you wear coming and going, in the elevator, in the lobby and so forth and makes mental notes of what he would like to have in his closet. Make sense?

When you catch him, beat his ass. Seriously. You've got top notch representation so why not?:D

[HEIRESS]

this is the most LOL heavy thread of the day (y)

[mickill]

and them make a long thread about how bad you feel for brutalizing him with your massive masculinity.
Or her. Let's not be sexist. Women steal clothes too.

[abcdefz]

I've never had a problem with anyone swiping stuff from the washer, so I only watch stuff while it's drying.

Seems like there would be a trail of tears to follow if someone stole your wet clothes.

[Nuzzolese]

Good detective work, gang! Now we're also looking for a person who wears women's jeans and men's shirts so this person's going to be top-heavy.

[abcdefz]

I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.

[hardnox71]

I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.
That was my favortie part of every Scooby Doo episode!!:D

[Nuzzolese]

What if it's a homeless teenage girl who's stealing your shirts to wrap her baby in?

[Dr Deaf]

I just like thinking about you and beth doing laundry together. I don't know why. It makes me smile. :confused:

when we do it together, we're usually playing gameboys (me: tetris her: monoplolies) and we can take shifts to smoke or perform other household chores.


Do homeless people wear underwear?

they do when its free i guess.


how lame. Sorry you have this problem. I like that note, though.

thanks, if the bethness approves it, i'll post it tonight.


The thing is, I don't think the note will stay up for very long, given the profanity and threatening implications. But other than that, it's a nicely written little note there.

i tried to keep it civil and lighthearted, but my inner fury cannot be bottled.


you should print up a t-shirt that says "im a low-life clothes stealing cunt with no penis" and see if he robs that.

that's a brilliant idea. thing is: he/she/they are selective. like they root thru and only take what they want and leave the rest. i'm wondering if it's ending up at consignment or thrift shop nearby. some of that stuff i'd pay $5-10 to get back.



Do you have a friend that might have their own washer/dryer? Maybe you could work something out with them instead of having to monitor your laundry.

not really. we're hoping to buy our own set soon as we have a sizeable closest that's outfitted for a washer and dryer. it's just dropping the scratch on it. (there's mountain bikes and imported beer to buy, you know?)


And you can't go and punch the fuck out of this guy?

the first and only time we ever encountered him we were to slow on the draw to connect the dots. once we did, i surveyed the area, but he had already disappeared into the night. we've been vigilant since that time, but somehow shits still getting jacked.


Here's the deal....

if this jagoff managed to boost some more of your shit while you were on a bathroom/smoke break then that means while you're watching your shit, he's watching you. It's too much of a coincidence that he just happens to show up while you're copping a squat. This leads me to believe that it's someone in your building. Someone who sees what you wear coming and going, in the elevator, in the lobby and so forth and makes mental notes of what he would like to have in his closet. Make sense?

When you catch him, beat his ass. Seriously. You've got top notch representation so why not?:D

wow. sounds like a lot of work for some t-shirts. sounds like i've got a fan. i really can't stand thieves.


this is the most LOL heavy thread of the day (y)

says the girl with 1001 awesome t shirts.

are there usb extention cords? i'm thinking we could rig up a web-cam in there and monitor it from here. (we're right next to the laundry room) then pounce when the motherfuckers ready to bounce.

[abcdefz]

Um... if there are two of you watching clothes, covering one another in shifts, how does this still happen?

[hardnox71]

wow. sounds like a lot of work for some t-shirts.
Deaf, you know as well as I that some people have absolutely nothing else to do.

[mickill]

Um... if there are two of you watching clothes, covering one another in shifts, how does this still happen?
Maybe the thief is already INSIDE the washing machine before they put the clothes in. Sorta like in Cape Fear.

[abcdefz]

"....could you be thar? ...Would you be thar!?"

[Dr Deaf]

Um... if there are two of you watching clothes, covering one another in shifts, how does this still happen?

when we do the laundry together. when i do it solo, like when i wasn't working or on my days off, the only time i leave is to hang up wet (unstolen) tshirts and / or fold up and / or put away the other first load stuff.

like 5-7 mins tops, i swear. shit, maybe it's the apt right across the hall, watching thru the peep hole. maybe it's a rush to them. or maybe its beth and she's just stashing all the shirts to re-gift em to me at xmas?!

i think we need to just bite the bullet and spring for our own machine. i kinda wanted to lay some $$$ on a plasma screen, but i suppose i should prioritize.

hmm. is there wireless web cams that run thru your wireless connection? surely there is...

[abcdefz]

when we do the laundry together. when i do it solo, like when i wasn't working or on my days off, the only time i leave is to hang up wet (unstolen) tshirts and / or fold up and / or put away the other first load stuff.

like 5-7 mins tops, i swear. shit, maybe it's the apt right across the hall, watching thru the peep hole. maybe it's a rush to them. or maybe its beth and she's just stashing all the shirts to re-gift em to me at xmas?!

i think we need to just bite the bullet and spring for our own machine. i kinda wanted to lay some $$$ on a plasma screen, but i suppose i should prioritize.

hmm. is there wireless web cams that run thru your wireless connection? surely there is...



Snakes in a washer, dude; snakes in a washer. (y)

[hardnox71]

Snakes in a washer, dude; snakes in a washer. (y)
Do snakes wear hoodies?

[abcdefz]

Do snakes wear hoodies?



Very Freudian, sir.

[hardnox71]

Very Freudian, sir.
Well,

*puffs out chest, pulls up pants two or three times, rocks back and forth on heels, looks down at ground in a not so feeble attempt at humbleness*

you know, being such an intelectual is not easy for me. Nobody could possibly know or understand my pain.

[Lyman Zerga]

Then why did you ask me to send you my worn boxers...hmmmm?


to forward them to turd

he was too shy to ask

[paul jones]

you should take some cheap T shirts in one day,but 'Good' looking 'cheap' T shirts and sprinkle itching powder on them or write on them in invisble ink 'I suck off dogs for a dollar' or something like that

[buddylee]

hood rats will put thier crap in the dryer with yours to dry thiers . I had that happen before when I got my shit out early and found some-else shirt in my load.

[Bitchamachacha]

I'm sorry Doc Deafness! BUT I HAD to have a pair of your wife's panties for, uh, experimental purposes. But that's all I took! Just one pair! I promises!









Sorry that shit happened to you. (n)

[na§tee]

i think the note is the way forward - if anything, it will warn other users to be watchful. and if their stuff has been nicked, too, maybe they'll come forward and you can be like a vigilante team and work together to CATCH TEH THIEF!

wireless webcams - sure! of course they exist. i think that is totally a possible answer. if you put it online we can all do rotas to watch over it; us different time zone peeps are useful! honest.

how bizarre that the stealing seems to be occuring in really short time frames. i would be worried. it does seem that someone is, like, watching you for opportunities. weird.

good luck! let us know the results.

[Tone Capone]

This is a big problem in military dorms... There is always some creep that will go through the dryers and take other peoples shit. There was one time where some fool was throwing ink markers in the dryers. Luckily I made a little rank and don't live on base anymore but, trust me, I know it's frustrating. Hopefully you catch the bastard and make him pay.

[trailerprincess]

some fucker stole my technics T-shirt and my Beastie Boys Atwater b-bay t-shirt from the communal machine in my halls of residence. :mad:

[kll]

Maybe the thief is already INSIDE the washing machine before they put the clothes in. Sorta like in Cape Fear.


you seriously made me cry...

[kll]

i think we need to just bite the bullet and spring for our own machine. i kinda wanted to lay some $$$ on a plasma screen, but i suppose i should prioritize.


since you appear to have washer/dryer hookups at your place, i would think that would take priority over everything... back when i was stuck doing public laundry, i realized that most of the shit that a lot of people brought in was severely soiled and they were only bringing it to the public machines as to not pollute their own... some drunk fuck's puke or dog diarreah on the duvet cover doesn't mix well with my lingerie...this should be reason enough to put the plasma on hold for a bit longer...

[befsquire]

it's not a typical "public" laundry room. it's one of several on this floor, and each floor has them in the same location, so only a portion of the second floor of the building would use this laundry room. and of course, you supposedly can't get in here unless you are a resident or are let in by a resident. and the bulk of the people who live here just aren't the sort who vomit or poo. you can just tell that about them.

[Lex Diamonds]

I think you should do the ambush idea thing. Just walk out of there whistling a tune and looking at your watch or something. Then you sit on a bench across the street with a newspaper with eye holes cut in it watching the door. As soon as you see someone fuckin' with your drawers, run in and clothesline them, then beat the shit out of them and throw a washing machine on top of them. Then steal their wallet and find their house and steal all their clothes. If they have any relatives then beat them up too, and if they're hot give them a bit of a raping. Then, when they die from being crushed by the washing machine, eat a vat of curry and prunes, creep into the cemetery at night, and drop a beefy loaf on their grave.

Is that over the top?

[befsquire]

well, the hard part is, if we hang out across the street, we'll be looking at the outside of the buildings, and this (http://www.condohq.com/images/img-parknorth.jpg) is what we'll see.

the laundry room is on the other side of our bedroom wall. the inside of the building is sort of like a hotel. the hallway is air conditioned and carpeted, etc. to get in the building from the parking garage, you need a key. to get in from any outer access door, you need an HID card.

[Bob]

sting

sting sting sting sting

grand theft laundry is a serious offense and if it's not, it should be