Rock
08-24-2006, 02:56 PM
"I have a Brittany Spaniel and was standing in line to buy a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was actually starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost over 20 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I should mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door."
and there is no doubt in my mind that this is a true story. Maybe not his...but it wouldn't surprise me.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was actually starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost over 20 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I should mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door."
and there is no doubt in my mind that this is a true story. Maybe not his...but it wouldn't surprise me.