forgiving friends

[HOTWIFE]

About a year ago my friend Jaime decided to end our lifelong friendship for no apparent reason. She just started acting like she was sick to hell of me. We fought back and forth through emails until our friendship was OVER. We said things that were so unforgivable to one another that I never thought I'd hear from her again, and she definitely wasn't going to hear from me. Well today I got this message from her on myspace. Maybe I'm too forgiving.



Jaime:
I know it has been a long time. And I know that you don't want to speak to me again, but I needed to say something to you. This has been long overdue.

I am very sorry for the things that I said to you before. Over the past year or so, I have been through alot mentally and emotionally. I have been up and down from many different levels of depression. I know that there are many things that are and were wrong in my life. I know that these issues are in desperate need of being fixed.

You were a good friend to me. For some reason, my mind keeps playing tricks on me and I fully didn't understand what was being said on either side. In my life, confusion sets in more often than not. I wish I could explain it all to you right now. But there is just to much to say. I hope all is well.


me:
Hey J. I never thought you'd talk to me again, but I had in my head that if you ever tried to contact me I'd ignore it and move on. But for some reason I can't. You really hurt me. I really didn't think you felt that way about our friendship. You know how I can be a pridefull dumbass sometimes so I may have acted like it didn't hurt me but it did. I take full responsibility for what I said to you and I'm so sorry for all of it. I love ya like a sister. I still think about you and wonder how you're doing. I miss you. I've cried many times about it. I've come so close to contacting you but pride got the best of me. I've been thinking about you alot lately because my brother and his best friend Ed (you may remember him) just had a falling-out and it doesn't look like they'll ever talk again. My brother's very hurt over it and it made me think of us. I always wondered if you missed me even a little and hoped that you did.

I hope you're doing ok. We need to get together soon if you're up for it I am too.

write back!

Lori

[Lex Diamonds]

Is pridefull a word? I woulda just said proud.

I'm the same as you, I always forgive friends for shit. I just can't be dealing with the beef. I'm all about peace and love.

[HOTWIFE]

Is pridefull a word? I woulda just said proud.

I'm the same as you, I always forgive friends for shit. I just can't be dealing with the beef. I'm all about peace and love.
pridefull is definitely a word! I'm a grammar freak man.

Yeah, I've always been that way. I'm usually the 'mediator' of the group too. I like to keep the peace.

[Lex Diamonds]

Word. (y)

[vickista]

she sounds like Sian. i don't like it.(n)

[HOTWIFE]

she sounds like Sian. i don't like it.(n)
um...who?

[ggirlballa]

i forgive to easily too but why did she all of a sudden message you?

[vickista]

um...who?


The chic pretended she was a good friend for ages but was actuallly just using me and the rest of the group, then out of nowhere she left our group and told everyone how horrible we where to her and now i am portrayed in front of the whole school as a skanky whore bitch etc, and shes meade up countless boyfriends because she thinks it will make her popular and she tried to get me to go out with one, and every time the group she went to after us rejects her, she tries to come back to us. theres more but i cbf typing.

[vickista]

i forgive to easily too but why did she all of a sudden message you?


coz she wanted to use her coz she realized getting rid of her wasnt in her best intrests

[ggirlballa]

there was a bitch at my school but lucky for me she moved out of the hood to the suburbs....or lucky for her?:confused: :p i don't know but she moved far away like yorba linda or sum shit

*anywayz back to topic* so hotwife is she worth going back to being freinds with?

[HOTWIFE]

i forgive to easily too but why did she all of a sudden message you?
I don't know. It's been a year since we spoke. We've literally been friends since birth..our mothers grew up together. She just told me she broke up with her boyfriend, so maybe she feels lonely.

[HOTWIFE]

so hotwife is she worth going back to being freinds with?
We're meeting next saturday for breakfast. I guess I'll find out. I'm not even worried about it being weird and awkward seeing her again. We were like sisters.

[vickista]

I don't know. It's been a year since we spoke. We literally been friends since birth..our mothers grew up together. She just told me she broke up with her boyfriend, so maybe she feels lonely.


see using you, she took you for granted when things where good for her, but now that she needs someone and no ones there for her, she asks you back.

[vickista]

wow. im pretty cold:( still i dont like it.

[HOTWIFE]

see using you, she took you for granted when things where good for her, but now that she needs someone and no ones there for her, she asks you back.
Maybe

[enree erzweglle]

Prideful is a word, but I think it tends to be spelled with only one l. :o

Your letter was great! Very warm and understanding and the way you conveyed an interest in rekindling the friendship was sweet and giving. I think it's admirable that you didn't follow your original plan to ignore any contact by her because doing that would have been really second grade. The temptation there is to do that and you knew that it was the immature thing to do. You got yourself beyond your ego and pride enough to reach out to her and do even more--you conveyed it with warmth and compassion and that probably made her wish she would gotten back to you even sooner. That's a gift and you did it perfectly.

To me, the important thing in something like that is not necessarily to get or give forgiveness, but to learn about what happened and to understand where and how things went wrong. It's understanding more about triggers, knowing when to avoid emotional situations or at least how to defuse them, how to react to yourself better before you react to another person. Stuff like that.

So when I screw up, I like to make sure the other person knows that I know it and that I am sorry for it, and when someone's done that to me, it's not as important for me to hear a flowerly apology from them as it is to know that they've moved around and have at least gotten themselves to a reflecting point and then were reasonable enough to say so. That's just so important and really, it's an implicit sort of obligation that people in any sort of friendship have to each other despite whatever happened to damage that friendship. It's easy to let your ego get in the way, like you said, and resist or deny the other person when she reaches out, and by doing that, how many life lessons are you missing and how many have you missed sending over to the other person, and don't you risk in some ways of sending that other person and maybe yourself into a more harsh situation until you learn the lesson completely. You both did great things for each other and I think your note back was mature and sweet, very kind and you made yourself so approachable. I love that.

[wrongwayandugg]

Yea. I'm always forgiving people for being such pricks. We all need to get together and have a love fest pronto.

[HOTWIFE]

Prideful is a word, but I think it tends to be spelled with only one l. :o

Your letter was great! Very warm and understanding and the way you conveyed an interest in rekindling the friendship was sweet and giving. I think it's admirable that you didn't follow your original plan to ignore any contact by her because doing that would have been really second grade. The temptation there is to do that and you knew that it was the immature thing to do. You got yourself beyond your ego and pride enough to reach out to her and do even more--you conveyed it with warmth and compassion and that probably made her wish she would gotten back to you even sooner. That's a gift and you did it perfectly.

To me, the important thing in something like that is not necessarily to get or give forgiveness, but to learn about what happened and to understand where and how things went wrong. It's understanding more about triggers, knowing when to avoid emotional situations or at least how to defuse them, how to react to yourself better before you react to another person. Stuff like that.

So when I screw up, I like to make sure the other person knows that I know it and that I am sorry for it, and when someone's done that to me, it's not as important for me to hear a flowerly apology from them as it is to know that they've moved around and have at least gotten themselves to a reflecting point and then were reasonable enough to say so. That's just so important and really, it's an implicit sort of obligation that people in any sort of friendship have to each other despite whatever happened to damage that friendship. It's easy to let your ego get in the way, like you said, and resist or deny the other person when she reaches out, and by doing that, how many life lessons are you missing and how many have you missed sending over to the other person, and don't you risk in some ways of sending that other person and maybe yourself into a more harsh situation until you learn the lesson completely. You both did great things for each other and I think your note back was mature and sweet, very kind and you made yourself so approachable. I love that.
well said, thanks

[abcdefz]

pridefull is definitely a word! I'm a grammar freak man.






Um, well then... :D

It's "prideful" -- one 'L'.

There's also "proud" and "pridefully" but no "pridefull."

[HOTWIFE]

Um, well then... :D

It's "prideful" -- one 'L'.

There's also "proud" and "pridefully" but no "pridefull."
Alright I made a typo...um...twice!!!! It happens!!!!:(

[abcdefz]

To be fair, you said you are a grammar freak, not a spelling freak. We were warned. ;)

[Yeti]

Alright I made a typo...um...twice!!!! It happens!!!!:(

I'll forgive you but not your friend.

[abcdefz]

Alright I made a typo...um...twice!!!! It happens!!!!:(



I'm afraid I'll also need to start rationing your exclamation points, ma'am.

Sign here.

[HOTWIFE]

shove it up your spelling-and-punctuation-freak asses:p

[Lex Diamonds]

shove it up your spelling-and-punctuation-freak asses:p
You forgot the capital S. There's no punctuation at the end of the sentence either. :rolleyes:

[HOTWIFE]

You forgot the capital S. There's no punctuation at the end of the sentence either. :rolleyes:
:(