This Board as THE BIBLE!!

[Kid Presentable]

Well, I already sorta thought of Mary and Joseph, what with all the pilgrimages going on recently. So somebody start making comparisons and naming names and all of that. Then religious and non-religious alike can revel in this latest analogy for YOUR place on here.

The Notorious LOL=The snake.

Was Socrates in the Bible? Oh shit.

[Poster Boy]

we're gonna do what now?

[Lyman Zerga]

scary squirrel is our godfather

thats f00 sure

[Kid Presentable]

Poster-Boy had the mir. Is that what it was? Mir?

[Kid Presentable]

The Cosmo's are Joseph and Mary, btw.

[Poster Boy]

what the fuck is going on?

[zorra_chiflada]

who am i?

[Kid Presentable]

who am i?
Hang on, I'll just wikipedia 'The Bible'.

[na§tee]

can i be mrs. noah?

[zorra_chiflada]

Hang on, I'll just wikipedia 'The Bible'.
lol

[Lyman Zerga]

what the fuck is going on?


yeah wtf



but just smile and act like you know whats going on

and when no one looks we will run out of the door

[Kid Presentable]

I'm God.
Not quite. You might get a callback about the apple gig.(y)

Fark, that bible's a load of shit, isn't it?

Whoever wanted to be Mrs Noah, that was spot-on. I was just about to say.

Mcmac is the baby Jesus.

[yooooo]

^hah.

I am the narrator

[Kid Presentable]

yeah wtf



but just smile and act like you know whats going on

and when no one looks we will run out of the door
Jezebel. Fuck, I had to dictionary.com that one, because I didn't know how to spell it!

[zorra_chiflada]

do i have one yet?

[ET]

OMG I WANNA BE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT!

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[Kid Presentable]

do i have one yet?
Delilah. Yup.

[Kid Presentable]

^hah.

I am the narrator
Haha. You're Mel Gibson, sonny.

[zorra_chiflada]

Delilah. Yup.

oh fur realz! i wanted to be judith of judith and holyfernes fame. look er up!

[Lyman Zerga]

Jezebel. Fuck, I had to dictionary.com that one, because I didn't know how to spell it!

but im too lazy to look it up
pass it back to poster boy

[Kid Presentable]

OMG I WANNA BE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT!

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

It's not a 'post here', it's a living, breathing analogy. You're now a philistine.

[zorra_chiflada]

you know, studying art history has left me with a lot of useless bible characters and anecdotes

[ET]

Fuck that, I'm the burning bush.

[beastieangel01]

OMG I WANNA BE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT!

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
******************************
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,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,*******,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

best post by ET, ever.

[na§tee]

Whoever wanted to be Mrs Noah, that was spot-on. I was just about to say.
awesome.
now i just need a mistah noah.
and several hundred pairs of animals.

[Kid Presentable]

best post by ET, ever.
You can be Gabriel's trumpet.

[zorra_chiflada]

gaybriel lol

[beastieangel01]

You can be Gabriel's trumpet.

I've got something for you to blow. :cool:

[Kid Presentable]

I've got something for you to blow. :cool:
Yes, the mouthpiece. It is a wind instrument. Stop it.

Didn't Jesus borrow a T.V eating tray thing, that you (as in the genral you, not bao1) put in your lap and eat off, from some guy?

[ET]

I've got something for you to blow. :cool:

That's my line. :cool:





Man, we just perved up the Bible post. We're going to hell.








Sexy hell. ;)

[Kid Presentable]

That's my line. :cool:





Man, we just perved up the Bible post. We're going to hell.








Sexy hell. ;)
According to the genral consensus in this forum, hell is Beastie-Free, for you deride and seek destroy the pure kingdom of heaven; Beastie-general. Not ideologically identical, but similar in their relationships.

So, we're already in this particular Bible's hell. Let's call the admins a choir of angels.

[QueenAdrock]

I nominate Echewta for Lucifer, and Bob and Qdrop as the rulers of Sodom and Gomorrah. LOL!

[wanton wench]

awesome.
now i just need a mistah noah.
and several hundred pairs of animals.
you just make sure you kill those two mosquitos this time ;)

[ampm]

Cosmo and Booming Granny are Mary and Joseph. Thier apartment is the manger. Echewta is the christ child. And QDRop is the donkey/ass.

[QueenAdrock]

Christ child? No way. He's much more satanic.

I'd say Jackrock would be the Christ child, just because he's so innocent and I feel bad saying terrible stuff around him without shielding his wee little Canadian ears. :(

[abcdefz]

The next time you folks go hopping all over the Bible, I hope you'll fondly recall the dazzling breadth of knowledge displayed by members in a thread such as this. :rolleyes:

[QueenAdrock]

I know lots about the Bible 'cuz I was a history major.

But ah, yeah, I think majority is crap. And on top of that, you're Habukkuk. :cool:

[abcdefz]

I know lots about the Bible 'cuz I was a history major.

But ah, yeah, I think majority is crap. And on top of that, you're Habukkuk. :cool:



Not bad.


You're Sapphira.

[QueenAdrock]

:cool:

[Bob]

can i be somebody insanely cool?

[Pres Zount]

Motherfucking Pharoah, represent. :mad:(y)

Or do I automatically become Samson?

[ampm]

In the last supper scene Echewta would of course be jesus. Cmute would be judas. Queenadrock would be mary magdalen. Zorra would be mary magdalen's fluffer. Dorothy Wood would be Dandy and Jerry Mathers would be the Beaver.

[Echewta]

I'm the devil and jesus? Fantastic.

[Pres Zount]

In the last supper scene Echewta would of course be jesus. Cmute would be judas. Queenadrock would be mary magdalen. Zorra would be mary magdalen's fluffer. Dorothy Wood would be Dandy and Jerry Mathers would be the Beaver.

Zorra is not mary magdalens fluffer, she is Cleopatra. :mad:

Youre dead meat.

[ampm]

Zorra is not mary magdalens fluffer, she is Cleopatra. :mad:

Youre dead meat.

Cleopatra? What bible are you reading mang? And shit.

[roosta]

can i be in the koran?

[TurdBerglar]

can i be merlin?

[Bob]

dibs on gandalf

[King PSYZ]

oh oh... Can I be King Arthur?

[Kid Presentable]

Romans. The lot of you.

[Lyman Zerga]

can i be zeus?

[zorra_chiflada]

ooh ooh, can i be fiona apple?

[Bob]

Romans. The lot of you.

ave! i'd be a cool roman. carrying on the hedonistic traditions of the greeks of old...you know the ones!

[Kid Presentable]

ave! i'd be a cool roman. carrying on the hedonistic traditions of the greeks of old...you know the ones!
Et tu?

[ET]

ET tu?

That can be arranged ;)

[Bob]

skinless grapes all around, hey

[milleson]

I would like to be a polar bear, please and thank you.

[g-mile7]

Funny thought the Bible preached against hypocrites which this board harbors. Just saying ;)

[Kid Presentable]

^^Black Jesus!

[jabumbo]

all the romans are eunuch's

[Tzar]

i'm Matthew

[TurdBerglar]

im batman

[Drederick Tatum]

I call mighty Yamses.

[cosmo105]

Cosmo and Booming Granny are Mary and Joseph. Thier apartment is the manger. Echewta is the christ child.
we're going to shave his ass, draw a face on it and train him to walk backwards.

[Kid Presentable]

^^Before the edit I had you two as Mary and Jesus. Yikes.

[cosmo105]

catholics would go for it.

[g-mile7]

^^Black Jesus!
Is the GOD BODY. Man, Woman and Child flow through me. My blood is the water, my skin the soil of Earth, my breath the wind and my words... oh my words B the fire of legend. lol

[monkey]

i didnt read the thread. i would like mary magdalene, if she hasnt been taken yet. please. thankyou.

[Kid Presentable]

i didnt read the thread. i would like mary magdalene, if she hasnt been taken yet. please. thankyou.
You can nominate people, you know.

[monkey]

nah. i just worry about myself. me myself and i.

[Kid Presentable]

aaaaa aaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa aaaaaa

[ToucanSpam]

Who am I?

[abcdefz]

You're one of the reference maps showing the path of the exodus.

[ampm]

Who am I?

St. Edward. He is the patron saint of man boobs.

[b i o n i c]

i wanna be in the bible. who can i be?

[abcdefz]

You are Doeg.

[b-grrrlie]

What is this bible you keep talking about?

[b i o n i c]

hmmm

Doeg - Chief herdsman to King Saul.

a male Edomite, the chief overseer of Saul's flocks (1 Sam. 21:7)

At the command of Saul he slew the high priest Ahimelech (q.v.) at Nob, together with all the priests to the number of eighty-five persons. (Compare Ps. 52, title.)

[abcdefz]

That's him. Fitting, I thought.

[b i o n i c]

depends on who saul is. that fucker kills babies

[abcdefz]

depends on who saul is. that fucker kills babies


Basically, Saul was a tall guy that the people of Israel wanted to be king.

God was, like, "Hey -- I want to be your king!" and the Jews were all grumbling because other countries had human kings, and this God-as-king thing was making them feel like the weirdos of the planet.

So God asked who they wanted, then, if not Him, and since Saul was the tallest, they figured he must know what he's doing, so they started calling out "Saul! Saul!"

Saul was scared shitless and tried to hide.

Anyway, they made Saul king in spite of his lack of cred and God's wishes, and sure enough, Saul turned into a real dick and would consult sorcerers and dead spirits and such rather than listen to God.

The episode with Doeg, if I remember right, was that he got so tired of priests prophesying against him that, instead of repenting, he had Doeg just kill them all.

Saul was a class act, boy. David (of David and Goliath fame) wound up getting the throne, but that's a long story.

[Bob]

Saul was a class act, boy. David (of David and Goliath fame) wound up getting the throne, but that's a long story.

involving giants! or at least another very tall guy

[b i o n i c]

i meant who on bbmb is saul.

i like being doeg... heh

[Bob]

i could be saul. that sounds like something i'd do if you tried to give me any power

[abcdefz]

Nah -- Saul was sort of a whimpering idiot who had power thrust upon him just because physically, he fit the part. He winds up killing himself, too.

[Schmeltz]

The story of Saul vs. God/the Priests is an allegory for the displacement of ritual specialists by warrior elites at the top of a typical class-based Bronze Age society.

Has anyone picked Mohammed? I call Mohammed.

[Bob]

The story of Saul vs. God/the Priests is an allegory for the displacement of ritual specialists by warrior elites at the top of a typical class-based Bronze Age society.

Has anyone picked Mohammed? I call Mohammed.

you haven't posted any pictures of yourself yet, have you? you're safe

[Schmeltz]

No, but I think I might go buy a digital camera and then spend hours taking essentially the same photo of myself over and over again before running them through Photoshop and then using them to recreate my Myspace and Facebook pages on this board.

With any luck the terrorists will figure I'm too much of a dork to be worth their trouble.

[Echewta]

I wear nice suits. I'm the devil.

[Lex Diamonds]

The Devil Wears Prada, apparently. :confused:

[Echewta]

http://imgs.yoox.com/img/deluxe/prada_man.jpg

I wear some white just to make my minions laugh.