i think i have some kind of speech impediment

[Bob]

i don't stutter or slur or anything, but i seriously have a damned hard time communicating ideas vocally. i can have an idea in my head, but when i go to pass it out of my mouth, it comes out all jumbled, if it comes out at all. i embarrassed myself majorly in an oral presentation today because of this, it was terrible, i felt like a 12 year old again, giving a dumb book report or something. it wasn't even a hard presentation, it was a really simple, short thing, but i couldn't do it, i just can't seem to speak coherently for any length of time. it's not just limited to presentations either, even conversations where i have to say things for more than one sentence at a time give me trouble. if i'm going to do well at all, i have to have more or less a script of what i'm going to say, and even then it's a little rough. today sucked because i got completely ambushed with the topic, i didn't even know i was going to have to do anything until 25 minutes before the moment.

and it's not that i'm nervous. i'm fairly confident in my ability to know things, and for the first few sentences, i am confident. but then it happens, i forget to say a word, or my brain just shuts down, and i slip up. then i get nervous, then it's all over. it's not that i'm dumb, it's that i sound dumb. i didn't really notice it too much because i rarely talk to people these days(different thread, that subject), but it became blatantly obvious today. i dunno what the fuck.

the really shitty thing of course is that i can't possibly explain any of this to the people that i meet, because i'd have to speak to do it. so they probably all just think i'm retarded or insane or something and there's nothing i can do to correct them. i dunno. maybe they're right. i should pretend to be mute. that would be nice, i think.

just so this thread isn't totally esoteric and unreplytoable, have any of you ever had a problem like this? what did you do about it?

[befsquire]

my son has a problem like this.

to me, his problem is that his brain is working so much faster than his mouth that he all of a sudden gets behind and then takes this long pause and doesn't exactly pick back up where he left off.

it's getting better for him as he gets older.

he's also a little shy.

once you're really comfortable with the subject matter, or you realize that it happens to everyone and it's not the big deal you thought it was, it won't happen like this anymore.

[Bob]

i guess i'd describe it like that, yeah.

it's so embarrassing, you're not supposed to have this problem when you're grown up, but i do. sucks sucks sucks

it's not even really about subject matter though, it happens just in regular conversation too. like i'll be saying something casually (as casual as i seem to get these days anyway) and suddenly forget how to finish my sentence. SUCKS

[befsquire]

but aren't these people the ones you were saying were all self-aggrandizing about what they'd done before law school, and maybe subconsciously they intimidate you when they shouldn't? cause you're better than them.

[Bob]

but aren't these people the ones you were saying were all self-aggrandizing about what they'd done before law school, and maybe subconsciously they intimidate you when they shouldn't? cause you're better than them.

yeah there's some of that going on too i guess. but the people like that aren't generally the people that go out of their way to talk to me anyway (i have no problem with that, i don't like them), so it's not just talking to them that gives me trouble.

i tell you what's annoying for me though, is trying to get a word in edgewise in a group conversation. because they grade on participation in one of my classes, so you sort of have to say things, and i try, but people either seem to not hear me or outright ignore me (i'm willing to believe that they actually don't hear me, i've been told i talk quietly, which i do when i'm nervous). sometimes somebody will just directly ask me something because they've noticed that i haven't said anything (as if!), and of course they ask me something that i don't have an answer to, so that sucks.

i wanna get one of those steven hawking devices. that would solve everything, i'm totally serious

[Bob]

in retrospect a better title for this thread would have been "i have no mouth, and i must whinge"

[befsquire]

you should take up smoking to attract people. smoking really is cool. you're breathing fire.

the problem with participation grading is it inspires the wrong sort of participation where people are vomiting all kinds of inane shit. just chill and keep up with your reading. everyone will become complacent and then you can do the case synopsis for something and your participation grade will be stellar.

[Bob]

you should take up smoking to attract people. smoking really is cool. you're breathing fire.

the problem with participation grading is it inspires the wrong sort of participation where people are vomiting all kinds of inane shit. just chill and keep up with your reading. everyone will become complacent and then you can do the case synopsis for something and your participation grade will be stellar.

it's funny, one of my vows for my whole law school thing was to not take up smoking. i used to smoke a little in college, you know, on weekends, while drunk, etc, but i did do it and i did kinda grow to like it. i quit before it became a habit, but every now and then i definitely feel like i want one (moreso since law school started, for obvious reasons, and i DEFINITELY wanted one after today). but i promised myself no, that's the one thing i'm not gonna do. i might get lazy, i might get horrible grades, i might get fat (unlikely, i can't find the time to eat!), i might do all sorts of dumb stuff, but i'm totally not gonna start smoking, because i'll regret that one forever and ever.

you're right though it is cool

[Justin]

Im great with people as long as I get to manipulate them.

[HOTWIFE]

Bob maybe you should get some help for this? I'm guessing this problem's probably gotten worse as you get older because you are aware of it and you're probably thinking about it and hoping it doesn't happen WHILE you're speaking and trying to articulate your thoughts into words.

[Waus]

That's interesting.

I know this girl who has some kind of learning disability or ADD or something, but she's great fun to talk to. She jumps from topic to topic, or rather, thought to thought faster than she can communicate to other people. Most of the time I spend talking with her it's halting the conversation and retracing her steps to whatever she just said out of nowhere.

example -

"So, I went bowling the other day, and someone informed me of this; did you know you have to have a weighted ball to bowl with a curve like the pros do?"

"That's like the snapple bottle."

"What?"

"Snapple bottle."

"..."

- turns out (after forcing her to go through like 4 steps) she meant one of the random factoids that they printed on the lid of Snapple bottles at some point.




Uh, that doesn't really sound like your problem though.

[Pres Zount]

I have exactly the same problem as you do, bob. Pisses me off to no end.

[yooooo]

i don't stutter or slur or anything, but i seriously have a damned hard time communicating ideas vocally. i can have an idea in my head, but when i go to pass it out of my mouth, it comes out all jumbled, if it comes out at all.

thats actually a form of intelligence.. i forgot how its called

[na§tee]

i've spoken about it before, but i have a bit of a stutter. it's more like really having to spit certain words out of my mouth because it's just so hard. i have to say certain combinations of numbers, say, in a phone number or a credit card number, quite strategically so i don't slip up.. like, i have a problem with seven, but if it's preceded with an 8 it's okay because i'm calm. ugh. i know that sounds retarded, but it helps.

i was really bad at school. i've been to dozens of schools because we moved around a lot, and i hated that going round the class and introducing yourself thing. "claire" was just the hardest word - gah. i still cringe talking about it. i would get myself so worked up i just could not do it.

i was taken to a speech therapist but we only had one consultation and my parents didn't take me again. he said, like bef, that my brain is just running away with my thoughts too fast and my mouth has to catch up. and to calm down. and not be so fucking shy. which isn't really helpful, but yeah.

when i came to university i became so much more confident because - hey! - people liked me and i was good at my courses and what not, and wanted people to hear what i had to say in tutorials etc. when i'm having a bad, down day i tend to get it more. i predict it will probably be the same for you.. if you find your niche, you'll be more chilled and will think about it less. that's the key: just don't worry about it. rehearsing talks or a phone number or asking for someone by name will just scare you, and will provide a sort of green light for nervousness.

most people don't mind, anyway. i've recently been dealing with a person at work who i talk to by phone and he has the worst stutter - like, actual, as opposed to my struggle with beginning a word, he stutters continuously through it - and when i first spoke to him it took a while to click and release he has this thing you just had to sit through until he gets to his point, but it's alright now.

just.. chill and you'll be fine!

[na§tee]

i had a friend called beth when i was at school and i physically could not ring her family phone and say "can i speak to beth please?" because that name is just a nightmare for me when i'm nervous! so when she got a mobile i was tres relieved, heh.

[Nivvie]

Aw na§tee, my brother stutters, we moved a lot and he was sooooo pounded.

Bob, there's stuff you can do for this, a lot of these things are stress related, even if you don't feel stressed, it can find a way into you and force an outlet. I suggest mediation and trip to a massage parlour. OOOoooooommmmm.

[mikizee]

i just dont talk. doesnt help me in getting laid, tho.

[ET]

Being self aware of the problem doesn't help. Having a "fuck it" kind of attitude in front of your peers is the first step to overcoming your public speaking. Or could be. You'll get used to being on the spot and find your own method of dealing with it the more you're put in those kinds of situations. A similar thing happens to me (previously often, recently occasionally) and I have my own methods of shrugging it off and laughing at it instead of looking like a deer caught in headlights.

[ericlee]

Before starting your speech in front a group of people, just start off with a few warm up phrases. Such as "I we Todd did" "I so we Todd did" "I sofa king we Todd did". They wouldn't even question you then and you can go about your speech with no problems.

This one always helps if you see a girl. To break the ice, just walk up to her and say, "My Dixie wrecked".

[Dorothy Wood]

I have the same problem. it sucks for teaching. sometimes I just can't really get my point across, I just talk around searching for words. I think it must be the brain working too fast thing, because I can be incredibly articulate when I'm drunk. so, just start drinking in the day.

[Bob]

I have the same problem. it sucks for teaching. sometimes I just can't really get my point across, I just talk around searching for words. I think it must be the brain working too fast thing, because I can be incredibly articulate when I'm drunk. so, just start drinking in the day.

best advice yet

shit just sucks, because i'm trying to be all confident now that i'm a grown up and stuff, but it's rough when you get tongue tied all the time. it's like "i'm gonna say this thing here, that's all i'm gonna do, and i'm gonna be cool about it, i'm fuckin beretta", and then i open my mouth and it goes all "hi, how are youHURRRRRRR"

some day

[Documad]

I've had that problem for my whole life. My brain is always going and there are too many things in there, so I have trouble sorting them out in a manner that other people can follow.

In casual conversations I've cultivated a reputation as an eccentric, so (I think) people enjoy my strange speaking style.

In work or school settings, I used to hate public speaking. I was sure that I knew the answers but I had trouble organizing my thoughts before I spoke and I would always blurt things out in a random order while talking too fast.

Now, I speak in public all the time. I do better if I can write down a few one-word headings on a scrap of paper for a mini outline. I don't need it, but it reassures me that I won't forget something I want to say and it takes the pressure off. I still write down a few words on a post-it note at a meeting or before I make an important phone call. If I'm giving an argument in court, I usually have some kind of outline (I like very minimal ones without complete sentences). Even if it's something I've argued repeatedly, I like having a list of topics to tick off. Sometimes it's just a big note reminding myself what someone's name is.

A big thing for me if I'm going to have to speak in public are to make sure that I have water. I try to drink water ahead of time and have some with me. I get cotton mouth. It's also a useful diversion to take a drink of water if you want a couple of seconds to think before talking again. I try to take full breaths and speak slowly. I've learned that what feels painfully slow to me sounds normal to others. And I try to avoid over-explaining because it's a tendency I have. It's also perfectly okay to have pauses where no one is speaking. You can think about what you want to say before you start talking. In arguments before courts, good attorneys will listen to the question, sometimes even pause and write a note, and then answer. I think that the pause says "I'm considering your question" but if you just launch into an answer it comes across as though you're going to plow along and say what you want to say regardless of what the questions are. Attorneys say the dumbest things when they just start answering without being sure where they want to wind up.

THE SHORT ANSWER: You just need to practice speaking and figure out what is comfortable for you. Accept challenges that come your way. You really have no idea what you're going to be good at or what you will end up doing.

[befsquire]

i had a friend called beth when i was at school and i physically could not ring her family phone and say "can i speak to beth please?" because that name is just a nightmare for me when i'm nervous! so when she got a mobile i was tres relieved, heh.
i have my own mobile, so it won't be a problem calling me. you can call me an easier name if you want.

[Lyman Zerga]

and i STILL count with my fingers!

[kate]

i think i have this same speech impediment. so i end up just making sounds and faces.

[Bob]

i think i have this same speech impediment. so i end up just making sounds and faces.

i think i'm going to learn morse code, only with farts

[ericlee]

I used to have that problem real bad when I'd go to introduce myself to girls that have caught my interest.

Once, I had to go to court because I forgot to pay for a seatbelt ticket and when the judge asked for my explination, I fucking totally stuttered every word I had to say and of course, I was hooked to a mic and everyone heard my stuttering ass loud and clear.

[monkey]

my problem is that i get the words out but i pronounce them wrong. i blame the education system for not teaching me to pronounce english properly.

anyway... it may be stupid, but before you're gonna speak in class or something, jot down the things you want to say. even if its just keywords or something. it then becomes easier to talk about them if you have that remainder of what you were talking about on a piece of paper in front of you.

[HEIRESS]

I trip over my words all the time because I talk too fast

and because I talk so fast instead of pausing and thinkin of perhaps a more articulate word to use in a certain spot I just plow ahead at full speed and throw in lots of swear words instead so I dont have to slow down

I the most impatient person ever

ever