I want to rap

[tracky]

Gimme some tips on being a dope MC

[Pres Zount]

I wanna be a dope MC, too. Give me some tips as well.

[tracky]

word p.z., we'll collaborate

[yooooo]

yooooo's rap guide:

1. Get Muscles
2. Bling Bling!
3. Rap about sex and crime
4. Pretend to be hard
5. Get arrested
6. Talk about your hard chidlhood in interveiws
7. create Disstracks about every other MC

Or:

1. Don't pretend to be hard.
2. Rap About Politics.
3. Kumbaja!
4. Dress like a Hippie.

Or:

1. Rap about message boards (then get a body armor)

[tracky]

aight messageboard rapping sounds the most hardcore so I'll go with that

[yooooo]

I'll be your manager

the label is called: Internetz Nightmarez Killahz

INK

[tracky]

I guess the first thing I need as an MC will be a microphone. Will just any microphone from dick smiths do for a beginner?

[yooooo]

sure, write a song i annnounce your first gig and you need an mc name

well, you both need one

[tracky]

MC Bush should go down well with the youth demo right?

[yooooo]

^(y)

http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=1307439#post1307439

[tracky]

lol you're crazy

you do realise that I'm going to rap now.. this could get messy (!)

Anyway, since I'm gonna be laying down some sick rhymes i need some tips, for realz. anything that will help improve my style

[yooooo]

ok!

hoping fo' some good shit

[Pres Zount]

I choose message boards.

[Tone Capone]

"Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?)
Don't give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me)
and make em come to your basement and listen
(you're gonna fuckin check this out)
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus
and put yours on the owner's table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before'
"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live
And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't
givin you shit bitch - don't even bother askin me (get away from me)"


Eminem's advice from back when he still knew how to rap.

[yooooo]

The way I make the meesage board go wild, sit back relax won't smile
Track got it goin on pal, call me the internet assassinator
Rhymes are intelligent and built like
And I'ma get mad deep like a emo kid, blow up your project
Then take all your assets
Cause I came to shake the board in half
With the thoughts that bomb, shit like math!
So if ya wanna try to flip go flip on the next man
Cause I grab the clip and
Hit ya with sixteen shots and more I got
Goin to war with the meltin keyboard hot

[ampm]

Could I be your d.j.?

[yooooo]

agreed

[ampm]

This is the greatest day of my life!

[Tone Capone]

pick a box
it's contents will help you on the way

[Pres Zount]

Fuck ampm, I have a turntable.

[yooooo]

i thought you were going to be another MC :(

[Pres Zount]

you stole the thunder.

[ampm]

We're already for our Behind the Music and we didn't even record a song yet.

[yooooo]

hurry, i planned a gig

[Pres Zount]

Christ. I can't find my keys.

[yooooo]

take mine, now hurry!

[ericlee]

I'm your first contestant...


I'll keystroke ctrl alt delete and put a reboot in your ass
I'm ericlee makin' you sorry for starting that new thread
I bust an insane post, submit reply, the words appear and ahaha, your thread's dead

[Lex Diamonds]

All you need to do is listen to already popular rap songs and just steal lines out of them.

Then if anybody catches on you say "I'm just bigging up my brother!" (y)

[zorra_chiflada]

the third verse of a pop song is usually a piece of poor rapping. start from there, work your way up

[Planetary]

ive got a line.

why dont you nerdy bitches just all lick my balls, having sex with your mother is like a pencil down a hall.

[jackrock]

Can I be a groupie?

[Planetary]

NO!

[yooooo]

I'm your first contestant...


I'll keystroke ctrl alt delete and put a reboot in your ass
I'm ericlee makin' you sorry for starting that new thread
I bust an insane post, submit reply, the words appear and ahaha, your thread's dead

commited!

[Lex Diamonds]

yo yo yo
you're all homo
think you're the geeky MCs
well just listen to me
try and fuck around on the internet
I tuck all you sad clowns into bed
and I'm not just lying
I got touch typing
skills, that'll leave you thrilled
when I utilise my advanced HTML
find me up in the IRC channel
sittin at my desk wearin cords with flannel
I'm the coolest nerd you ever seen
keep my glasses clean and eat all my greens
never pens in my pocket without protection
make a spelling error I point out corrections
try to ban me I'll hack into the mainframe
back on the boards within an hour with the same name
yeah I'm a super dweeb so don't step to me
the nerdiest MC reppin BBMB

YEAH BWOY BBMB 4 LIFE MUHFUKKAZ!!!11

[zorra_chiflada]

make a rap with me in it

[yooooo]

lol, winner

[Lex Diamonds]

make a rap with me in it
zorra, zorra, it means something in spanish
not easy to rhyme but I think I'll manage
cuz she's got the username zorra chiflada
makes me hit warp speed with my Captain Picard-YEAH!!

[zorra_chiflada]

that was shit

[ampm]

I'm scratching up an old Zorro record now. Zor-zor-z-z-z-zor, zor.

I admit I never d.j.'ed before, but that never stopped Jazzy Jeff.

[zorra_chiflada]

I'm scratching up an old Zorro record now. Zor-zor-z-z-z-zor, zor.

I admit I never d.j.'ed before, but that never stopped Jazzy Jeff.

wicca wicca waaaahhhhhh

[Lex Diamonds]

that was shit
SO IS YOUR FACE :mad:

[zorra_chiflada]

SO IS YOUR FACE :mad:

no it's not, you shitbag

[ampm]

I have one request. I don't want yoooo getting all Puff Daddy on us and try to get on our records.

[Lex Diamonds]

no it's not, you shitbag
Whatever, bollock-eyes.

[zorra_chiflada]

Whatever, bollock-eyes.

oh god, i totally knew a girl who had testicle eyes. they looked like a pair of balls for eyes. she was a right bitch too.

[Lex Diamonds]

You sure you didn't just walk past a mirror LMAO

[zorra_chiflada]

You sure you didn't just walk past a mirror LMAO

yeah, i don't see me laughing

[ampm]

I want to do a cover of "My Name is Luka".

[Lex Diamonds]

yeah, i don't see me laughing
ROTFLMFAO

[Freebasser]

wickety wickety wack
tracky be learnin to rap
so throw up a few hand claps
and cover tracky's back
as i start this rap attack

i tap my man tracky on his boney shoulder
my touch so chill he be feelin all cold ya
i tell him it don't matter if you're bigger or older
cos i'm hittin' thugs harder than a bag full of boulders
so start up the boombox and get this crowd movin'
we treat em to a cabaret as if they be cruisin'
on a P&O ferry full of floozin' and boozin'
yo listen muddafucka, this ain't no time for snoozin'

i pass the mic to tracky and tell him to get on it
and soon the rhymes flow like a shakespeare sonnet
he makes the crowd dizzy like they think they gonna vomit
and soon they gettin' high like on a faraway planet
go tracky, go tracky, go go go go go go tracky
don't need none o' that wacky backy
cos you firin' off hits like an invadin' army
and soon you won't need me, your mr Miyagi
to educate your ass on how to be rap happy

yo check this shit
this old skool like 1902 - beards and shizznit

word

[Lex Diamonds]

Mine was much better. Yours needs a couple more pinches of irony and a tablespoon of self-parody.

[Planetary]

i have a rap for zorra.

zorra, zorra, fosters fosters fosters,

kangaroo, kangaroo, fosters fosters taz.

[Lex Diamonds]

You forgot about her corky hat
Your rappings shit you dorky fag

[Planetary]

padster, padster, cup-of-tea,

REWIND! REWIND! cup-of-tea.

[Lex Diamonds]

Yo Planetary's
mum's back is hairy
he's a faggot fairy
real name is Mary
yeah that's right he's really a girl
when I saw his picture I nearly hurled
cuz he's got a big schlong, instead of a nose 'n'
no I'm not wrong, his head is a scrotum

[Planetary]

padsters, real name is patrick,
he told me how he really loves scoring hatricks,
OF BAWLS THAT IS!- down his throat,
i saw a picture in the paper of him bumming a goat.

[Lex Diamonds]

it's not my fault your mum's a big goat
and it wasn't in her bum it was her throat

OMG LOL PWNT

[Planetary]

you're a bawl. bawl bawl bawl.

you're a bawl, and you're from nepal

[yooooo]

okok, no ones gonna make business withouth me.

[yooooo]

I have one request. I don't want yoooo getting all Puff Daddy on us and try to get on our records.

you signed the contract, too late my friend

[ET]

I remember when people on the mb would post entire "battles". lol

[ericlee]

I remember when people on the mb would post entire "battles". lol

Me and Mickill had a good one back in the day. It was when I first joined and he had just joined as well.

That motherfucker almost made me short circuit my keyboard because he had my fingers sweating.

I showed him who's king of the diskdrive though. LOL.

[Lo_Lyfe]

SMD @ this "crew"

one two hhhoooooooiiiiiiiiiik

lo_lyfe, a one man crew
i lick shots like a gun can do
i run fans too, off the domepiece
patsy ramseys sister be stuck with no niece
and i'm out, you find me intimidating?
AMPM is A Man Probly Menstruating
and yooooo can get the booooooo
tell the hooooo to get on the bangbros videoooooo
scust/ im just so sickenin, yooo you be lickin in
the space i stick my dickens in
i run this site/ my battle too delish
digest a rapper four ways like a cattle do to fish
an im rappin/ reppin newark never london
paddy chimney sweep and you know that lo_lyfe sonned him
i got ladies swingin on my deez
thats as in deez nuts and i'm hung like a trapeze

[skra75]

If Paul Nice comes on here and raps it will be classic.

[b i o n i c]

rhyme me in! rhyme me in!



SMD @ this "crew"

one two hhhoooooooiiiiiiiiiik

lo_lyfe, a one man crew
i lick shots like a gun can do
i run fans too, off the domepiece
patsy ramseys sister be stuck with no niece
and i'm out, you find me intimidating?
AMPM is A Man Probly Menstruating
and yooooo can get the booooooo
tell the hooooo to get on the bangbros videoooooo
scust/ im just so sickenin, yooo you be lickin in
the space i stick my dickens in
i run this site/ my battle too delish
digest a rapper four ways like a cattle do to fish
an im rappin/ reppin newark never london
paddy chimney sweep and you know that lo_lyfe sonned him
i got ladies swingin on my deez
thats as in deez nuts and i'm hung like a trapeze

[yooooo]

SMD @ this "crew"

one two hhhoooooooiiiiiiiiiik

lo_lyfe, a one man crew
i lick shots like a gun can do
i run fans too, off the domepiece
patsy ramseys sister be stuck with no niece
and i'm out, you find me intimidating?
AMPM is A Man Probly Menstruating
and yooooo can get the booooooo
tell the hooooo to get on the bangbros videoooooo
scust/ im just so sickenin, yooo you be lickin in
the space i stick my dickens in
i run this site/ my battle too delish
digest a rapper four ways like a cattle do to fish
an im rappin/ reppin newark never london
paddy chimney sweep and you know that lo_lyfe sonned him
i got ladies swingin on my deez
thats as in deez nuts and i'm hung like a trapeze

:eek:

Fuck me being calm, I'm like a shell-shocked vet from 'Nam
So turn to Psalms, get your palms off my dick
Before I go sick and make lo_lyfe's ass hit the bricks
I used to stay on 57th the resident bussed to havin' it
To stay out late at night 'cuz none of you is Heaven-sent
I'm bent, puffin' killer-Cali hit the vent
I lend my voice to tracks, as we's the instrument
A Public Service Announcement on how I house shit
I hope your blouse fit, lo_lyfe bitch, you fight with dicks

[chrisd]

I know how to not become a rapper (if you're white):

Step 1: Understand that: rap should be done by black people, with the notable exception of all ours' favorite band.

Step 2: Listen to Eminem, then to Midnight Marauders by Tribe (compare the two on soul , groove, blues and heart) and understand Step 1

Step 3: Listen to the Day the N***AS took over from Chronic (the first) by Dr. Dre and understand Step 1

Step 4: Listen to Vanilla Ice, Snow, Third Bass (or should i say third base cause them fools never made a home run) then understand Step 1

Step 5: Look at whited out jazz (you want rap to die like jazz did?) and understand step one

Step 6: Listen to K-Fed, understand that his crap is getting more support than that bape song on youtube and understand step 1

Step 7: By rapping many a black youth is just trying to reach a lifestyle most of us white kids take for granted and that with little chance of success, so white kids should definately take to heart muhammad ali's advice to better become a doctor and a lawyer, hey at least we don't have to nerd up to be taken seriously at one of those dick cheese ivy league schools

[Freebasser]

So... black people are poor and white people aren't?

[chrisd]

yep

[Lo_Lyfe]

:eek:

Fuck me being calm, I'm like a shell-shocked vet from 'Nam
So turn to Psalms, get your palms off my dick
Before I go sick and make lo_lyfe's ass hit the bricks
I used to stay on 57th the resident bussed to havin' it
To stay out late at night 'cuz none of you is Heaven-sent
I'm bent, puffin' killer-Cali hit the vent
I lend my voice to tracks, as we's the instrument
A Public Service Announcement on how I house shit
I hope your blouse fit, lo_lyfe bitch, you fight with dicks

lol u mad?

aight with this, i fight wit dicks?
i wouldn't call this a fight but i guess you half right ya bitch.
Im tight with bricks/ ill strait light ya shit
you been bitin dicks hopin that ya might just spit
some righteous shit, yo chill and ignite a stick
this childish rapper yo I be on that tyson shit,
beatins make sense like im mixin nights and sticks
i be dude yoo couldnt pay to merk just like M.Bison is
i get sick, no ill jus like the license is
i grab a flow like yos lo_lyfe straight slicin it
twice and it be as mad nice and shit
to punk out rappers who say that lyfes a bitch

[yooooo]

lol u mad?

aight with this, i fight wit dicks?
i wouldn't call this a fight but i guess you half right ya bitch.
Im tight with bricks/ ill strait light ya shit
you been bitin dicks hopin that ya might just spit
some righteous shit, yo chill and ignite a stick
this childish rapper yo I be on that tyson shit,
beatins make sense like im mixin nights and sticks
i be dude yoo couldnt pay to merk just like M.Bison is
i get sick, no ill jus like the license is
i grab a flow like yos lo_lyfe straight slicin it
twice and it be as mad nice and shit
to punk out rappers who say that lyfes a bitch
:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I can not stand no lo_lyfe
So step these back if you please
and don't test me, you're history
You're jealous overzealous, yooooo is spectacular
In fact you are wack and far beyond dope be gone - nope!
You gets no respect, I pose a threat
cause you're lyrics wack and weak, in fact you tried to freak
Groovy, it was used before
You need are to choose a more appealing sample
I seal and stamp fools like mail, you're quite stale
You might fail and I know you're paranoid
Beware, avoid yooooo, I will make of men
Take 'em into custody your style is rus-ty!
That shit's for saps, just admit your raps
don't cut the mustard, don't get stolen flustered
cause ya, skill is null and void
and your skull is void empty
Senseless defenseless I rinse this
plague away with typhoons and you die soon

[Lo_Lyfe]

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I can not stand no lo_lyfe
So step these back if you please
and don't test me, you're history
You're jealous overzealous, yooooo is spectacular
In fact you are wack and far beyond dope be gone - nope!
You gets no respect, I pose a threat
cause you're lyrics wack and weak, in fact you tried to freak
Groovy, it was used before
You need are to choose a more appealing sample
I seal and stamp fools like mail, you're quite stale
You might fail and I know you're paranoid
Beware, avoid yooooo, I will make of men
Take 'em into custody your style is rus-ty!
That shit's for saps, just admit your raps
don't cut the mustard, don't get stolen flustered
cause ya, skill is null and void
and your skull is void empty
Senseless defenseless I rinse this
plague away with typhoons and you die soon


lol. mine aint stolen
:D

[Lo_Lyfe]

A-hem.
the fukk kinda battle verse is that.

(n) (n) (n)

[Kid Presentable]

It's funny reading these, because once you've done it once, you never want to do it again. I really liked the old-ass mickill (((((((battle)))))))) thread, it was funny as all hell. Eric got pwned up and down it (no offense, eric) and it made for entertaining reading. Mike did real good there, even though he's probably not proud of it.

[ericlee]

It's funny reading these, because once you've done it once, you never want to do it again. I really liked the old-ass mickill (((((((battle)))))))) thread, it was funny as all hell. Eric got pwned up and down it (no offense, eric) and it made for entertaining reading. Mike did real good there, even though he's probably not proud of it.

Oh horseshit. Need I explain it again? He was talking about slobbing on dicks for christ's sakes. That's some shit you do when all originality is exhausted. That's how people own people in raps? Pffft.

I wish I could drag that thread up. I'll show you.

[chrisd]

i want to rap

hands to clap

walk a new country

then write the map

meet a pretty lady

lay with her in the hey

comes around, goes around

you know what they say

the sun is settin

and i'm just lettin

the toys of work

but i won't stop sweatin

the king said i

should be the successor

his rhymes were fly

but mine were besser

walkin the beach

teachin the trade

sucka mcs are underpaid

and overrated

the wine tastes good

ain't no grapes in the neck of the woods

[Lo_Lyfe]

stfu cocksnots an natalwarts. i sonned you all!

:confused:
:eek:
:cool:
:rolleyes:
;)

[Lex Diamonds]

yo yo yo
you're all homo
think you're the geeky MCs
well just listen to me
try and fuck around on the internet
I tuck all you sad clowns into bed
and I'm not just lying
I got touch typing
skills, that'll leave you thrilled
when I utilise my advanced HTML
find me up in the IRC channel
sittin at my desk wearin cords with flannel
I'm the coolest nerd you ever seen
keep my glasses clean and eat all my greens
never pens in my pocket without protection
make a spelling error I point out corrections
try to ban me I'll hack into the mainframe
back on the boards within an hour with the same name
yeah I'm a super dweeb so don't step to me
the nerdiest MC reppin BBMB

YEAH BWOY BBMB 4 LIFE MUHFUKKAZ!!!11
Hottest verse of 2006. (y)