your sexscope!

[monkey]

i got a book. so gimme your sign, and ill tell you a sexy thing about yourself.

oh yea, INCLUDE YOUR GENDER!

[icy manipulator]

aquarius, go!

[yooooo]

libra

[HEIRESS]

GEMINI CANCER CUSP

[monkey]

aquarius, go!

youre a dude, yes?

in a world where men are programmed to assert some sort of personal agenda, sexual or otherwise, the aquarius seems not to fall prey to the machinations of his own libido.

[Freebasser]

viagro, male

[Bob]

cancer male (do me first since i'm the only one following the rules around here)

damn you freebasser

[Yorkshire~Rose]

Sagittarius, Female :)

[monkey]

libra

libra man, i will assume.
libra has difficulty scoring recognition as a sexual entity. during adolescence, he may wonder about himself, attributing his feelings of being "different" to an alternative sexual orientation.

[yooooo]

wtf

[monkey]

GEMINI CANCER CUSP

gemini femme: when it comes to intercourse, the twins actually prefers to be on top, where she can control the pace and positioning. having a guy plow her often feels too much like a violation, and she has no patience for a man, even her long term lover, just wanting to get off.

cancer femme: the affluent cancer girl goes the extra mile to appear all grassrooty, typically styling herself in hippy-dippy fashions.

[HEIRESS]

ahahah SHUT UP youre making this up!

I like being plowed actually :o

[monkey]

viagro, male

being born under the sign of the virgin, his moral judgements are severe; he expects any female worthy of his interest to carry a spotless reputation, sexual or otherwise. at a young age, he's already quite the little male-chauvinist, putting his girlfriend on a pedestal from which she dares not topple.

[monkey]

ahahah SHUT UP youre making this up!

I like being plowed actually :o

im not making this up. though i am only taking a few sentences out of paragraphs upon paragraphs of useless information and extraneous wordings.


and i like being plowed too. it's really hot especially when youre tired and dont wanna do much of the work.

[The Notorious LOL]

scorpio male

[Freebasser]

being born under the sign of the virgin, his moral judgements are severe; he expects any female worthy of his interest to carry a spotless reputation, sexual or otherwise. at a young age, he's already quite the little male-chauvinist, putting his girlfriend on a pedestal from which she dares not topple.

Damn straight! Now get back in the kitchen, bitch.

[monkey]

cancer male (do me first since i'm the only one following the rules around here)



cancer man tends to look more like a mr nice guy than any other male in the zodiac. he is the king of a guy a girl would feel readily comfortable bringing home to mother.

[monkey]

Sagittarius, Female :)

ironically, in light of her notably generous nature, sag may be the least likely female to give a guy slack in the face of his faults or foibles. it's one area where she simply cannot be forgiving.

[Bob]

hmm

i guess so

i was brought home to a mother once though and i don't think she liked me

that WAS during my cocaine years, though

[monkey]

scorpio male

until scorpio meets "the one" he feels he cant afford to be distracted imperfect relationships for fear of missing the real thing when it reveals itself.
what often transpires in bed with scorpio is too lewd to discuss in the light of day.

[monkey]

hmm

i guess so

i was brought home to a mother once though and i don't think she liked me

that WAS during my cocaine years, though

did you bring a pie? you have to bring pies when you get invited to meet mothers.

[Lex Diamonds]

Capricorn

I have a dick

[SandyLove]

ironically, in light of her notably generous nature, sag may be the least likely female to give a guy slack in the face of his faults or foibles. it's one area where she simply cannot be forgiving.

Yes this does have some truth in it...... I'm sorry he's gotta be good and its go big or go home!!!

[Freebasser]

Capricorn

I have a dick


That's debatable!

[monkey]

Capricorn

I have a dick

fantastic! congratulations.


in his youth, cap man is notoriously attracted to older girls and women who, even when having numerous years on him, are continually surprised and challenged by his adult nature.

[monkey]

im picking a sentence out of paragraphs, so if you are a person whose sign/gender has already been done, i can (and will, cause im bored) do it again with a different quote. this is fun for allz!

[Bob]

did you bring a pie? you have to bring pies when you get invited to meet mothers.

i did not actually know i was going to be meeting the mother, i was just picking her up for a date. i was hoping to just go right away, maybe a quickie or something, but no

i did have a pie, oddly enough, but there was cocaine in it

i still don't get why she didn't like me!

[monkey]

^ did you brush your hair that day? we're gonna get to the bottom of this. if the horoscope says moms should like you, then by gosh, moms SHOULD LIKE YOU, DAMMIT! (regardless of the amount of cocaine you had.) maybe youre meeting the wrong moms.

[Planetary]

LMFAO!

[skra75]

leo male

[Lex Diamonds]

in his youth, cap man is notoriously attracted to older girls and women who, even when having numerous years on him, are continually surprised and challenged by his adult nature.
Yeah, adult like XXX, baby.

*childish snigger*

[Planetary]

pie seas. mael.

[b-grrrlie]

female aquarian

[monkey]

Yeah, adult like XXX, baby.

*childish snigger*

i never claimed accuracy.

leo male

As the zodiac's sacred Sun king, he cannot consort with just anyone. Sex for him is sacrosanct, an empty experience if his all-important heart isnt in it.
more leos marry their prom dates than any other man in the zodiac.

[monkey]

pie seas. mael.

pisces never falls in love, per se. his form of lovin is so removed and devoid of expectation as to border on apathy. ironically, though he asks less of a partner than any other man in the zodiac, relationships are mainly all about him.


i really want to start doing editorial comments.

[Planetary]

pisces never falls in love, per se. his form of lovin is so removed and devoid of expectation as to border on apathy. ironically, though he asks less of a partner than any other man in the zodiac, relationships are mainly all about him.

sounds like me. straight pimping G.

thanks a lot.

[monkey]

female aquarian

aquarian woman is grace personified. the problem is, most men waste her grace, taking in her kind and adoring mien for granted, forcing her sooner or later to hop on that first streetcar out of town.

[TAL]

Aires(se), male.

[monkey]

Aires(se), male.

being so fascinated with himself, aries man is acutely aware of, and indeed almost fetishistic about, not only his own masculinity, but the male condition in general.

[P of R]

Scorpio. Man.

[skra75]

As the zodiac's sacred Sun king, he cannot consort with just anyone.

lol

[monkey]

Scorpio. Man.

Scorpio takes total control of proceedings, fucking his partner's mind from the outset; building her expectation, he sets a mood of anticipating that sends her wriggling in excitement and frustration.

[QueenAdrock]

LIBRA FEMALE PLS

[Chicka B]

Virgo, female please (and thanks) :cool:

[monkey]

LIBRA FEMALE PLS

A woman who hungers for sex as much as, of not more than, she does for truth, beauty, and goodness. In her zeal for elevated experience, she overlooks the significance of her sexuality, supressing her animal nature in favor of loftier concerns.

[malachite]

Saggy female

[monkey]

Virgo, female please (and thanks) :cool:

she is, simultaneously, sacred territory and a remarkably sexy bombshell, embodyng many a man's conflicting view of femalekind as Madonna and whore, all pieced together in one jiggling, juicy package.

you're welcome. :)

[ScarySquirrel]

Why not some more male Scorpio ish, huh?

Yeah, that's me too.

[monkey]

Saggy female

no bones about it, the centauress is a size queen. particularly when it comes to girth, sag's lover had better be as thick as his bankroll if he plans to hang around.

[monkey]

Why not some more male Scorpio ish, huh?

Yeah, that's me too.

i should transcribe the whole chapter. it's hilarious.

he is generally well-endowed and possesses a good deal of staying power; if anything, it takes him too long to reach a climax. also, as befits his nature, he likes to go deep, often only being able to get off when he's sure to have hit bottom.

[Chicka B]

These are interesting! Especially the scorpio ones.

[monkey]

These are interesting! Especially the scorpio ones.

it would seem that we should all get a scorpio lover:cool:

[adrock14]

libra, female

[beastieangel01]

I'm a scoprio sag cusp! But if I have to be particular, with no cusp, it's sagittarius.

and uh, I think I'm female :D

[monkey]

libra, female

she is drawn to to often younger, smooth, and arguably androgynous guys, never one to be turned on by the rugged, hairy he-men of the pack. Libra doesnt hesitate to make the first move on a man, sex being a rather casual affair.

[monkey]

I'm a scoprio sag cusp! But if I have to be particular, with no cusp, it's sagittarius.

and uh, I think I'm female :D

no youre not. prove it. :p

sag: sag can be so unsubtle in her approach to a man she fancies that, at times, she might just as well wear a sandwich board announcing her loving (and sexual) interest. Sag puts her whole spirited self into action with an eye on making herself so radiant a presence that a man will be blinded to anyone else.

scorpio: if any woman knows what she's made of sexually, it's scorpio.

[The Notorious LOL]

everything you ever read about scorpios says they're either completely obsessed with fucking or they're the most vile assholish people ever.


Im really a sweetie pie :(

[SandyLove]

no youre not. prove it. :p

sag: sag can be so unsubtle in her approach to a man she fancies that, at times, she might just as well wear a sandwich board announcing her loving (and sexual) interest. Sag puts her whole spirited self into action with an eye on making herself so radiant a presence that a man will be blinded to anyone else.

scorpio: if any woman knows what she's made of sexually, it's scorpio.

Cool! Saggitarius is the best sign, we have the most fun!!!

[b-grrrlie]

gemini, male (well I gotta see if he's gonna drive me out of town... :p )

[monkey]

everything you ever read about scorpios says they're either completely obsessed with fucking or they're the most vile assholish people ever.

Im really a sweetie pie :(

subconsciously, scorpio feels he must trick that "innocent" woman into wanting him. he does this by behaving opposite from the way he usually does - he treats her like absolute gold, sympathetic and administering to her every need. There's a breed of scorpio guys who become so absorbed, indeed attuned, to a woman, you'd think this former macho man had turned into a girl himself.

[QueenAdrock]

she is drawn to to often younger, smooth, and arguably androgynous guys, never one to be turned on by the rugged, hairy he-men of the pack. Libra doesnt hesitate to make the first move on a man, sex being a rather casual affair.

Hahahhaha...wow. The libra females aren't matching me at ALL. I'd say that everything in this is the exact opposite of what I am. I like older, more rugged and unshaved mens who make moves on me first and want sex only with love.

I usually hear crap like "Libras are the scales, so they like balance in their sex lives. They pay equal attention to the shaft and the balls." Which can be true, I guess.

[monkey]

gemini, male (well I gotta see if he's gonna drive me out of town... :p )

for the gemini male, sex must always, first and foremost, be fun. like a terrier, he'll root out every corner of a female's fantasy life, urging her to admit, and submit to, her kinkiest longings.

(y)

and the gemini man- aquarius woman match:
Their only concern: pleasing each other. He's her ideal fling; she relishes the role of minx and mentor. Free-spiritedness creates a combined social and political consciousness. Sex is robust and randy.

[b-grrrlie]

for the gemini male, sex must always, first and foremost, be fun. like a terrier, he'll root out every corner of a female's fantasy life, urging her to admit, and submit to, her kinkiest longings.

(y)

and the gemini man- aquarius woman match:
Their only concern: pleasing each other. He's her ideal fling; she relishes the role of minx and mentor. Free-spiritedness creates a combined social and political consciousness. Sex is robust and randy.
(y) Fuck yeah!!!

I'm gonna pick him up from the airport on Thursday and looks like we're gonna be looking for the first broomcupboard/bathroom/whatever empty room around... ;)

[QueenAdrock]

Oooh, you can do matches?

Male Sagittarius and Female Libra pls. :o

[icy manipulator]

there's partner matches? wicked. well what's there for aquarian male and female aug 11 star sign?

[monkey]

Oooh, you can do matches?

Male Sagittarius and Female Libra pls. :o

there's little i CANT do. im like that. :cool:

sag man - libra woman

she's in unknown territory; he's relaxed in the company of such a cool character. In bed, Libra loosens up, accessing her naughtiest needs. Sag is spellbound: He's scored a sophisticated woman willing to satisfy his every wish.

[monkey]

there's partner matches? wicked. well what's there for aquarian male and female aug 11 star sign?

thats aquarian man- leo woman

An indelible impression is made. their bond develops via emulation - she might mimic him. Furthering ambitions is a prime motivation. He's inventive and erotic; she needs straightforward sexual expression.

[QueenAdrock]

there's little i CANT do. im like that. :cool:

sag man - libra woman

she's in unknown territory; he's relaxed in the company of such a cool character. In bed, Libra loosens up, accessing her naughtiest needs. Sag is spellbound: He's scored a sophisticated woman willing to satisfy his every wish.


Tee hee. :o (y)

[ericlee]

Libra with a 1/2 inch penis..

[ggirlballa]

Pisces, Female(y)

[kleptomaniac]

oh, can you do gemini fem./leo male please?? :o


but i'm not like thinking of any leo in particular of course.
and if you would, gemini fem./scorpio male too.

[Lyman Zerga]

taurus/f/whoretown

[b i o n i c]

b i o n i c = p i s c e s

go!

[Dorothy Wood]

leo female vs. libra male (!)

[QueenAdrock]

oh, can you do gemini fem./leo male please?? :o


but i'm not like thinking of any leo in particular of course.
and if you would, gemini fem./scorpio male too.

Yeah, right. I used to check out my horoscopes with the Beastie Boys too, ya know. You can't fool me.

And Sarky, you being a Leo makes a lotta sense to me.

[Kerrbear]

[QUOTE=monkey]she is, simultaneously, sacred territory and a remarkably sexy bombshell, embodyng many a man's conflicting view of femalekind as Madonna and whore, all pieced together in one jiggling, juicy package.
QUOTE]

Man, how do I get to become a Virgo? That's the coolest description ever. I think I've got the jiggling part, but that's about it...

[zorra_chiflada]

scorpio, and i am a female

[paul jones]

male Pisces

[monkey]

Libra with a 1/2 inch penis..

as one of the truly bisexual signs of the zodiac, he is especially paradoxical in his sexual attractions. libra is prone to liking threesomes.

[monkey]

Pisces, Female(y)

the fish migh find herself in a series of marriages or serious relationships with closeted gay men, thinking nothing suspicious in their shared desire to regularly redecorate to the soothing strains of liza with a z.

[b i o n i c]

wait im supposed to have a partner sign? pisces/libra then

[monkey]

oh, can you do gemini fem./leo male please?? :o


but i'm not like thinking of any leo in particular of course.
and if you would, gemini fem./scorpio male too.


the beastie boys arent gonna have sex with you. that's my astrological prediction. i feel dirty even writing these down cause... arent you 16?

[monkey]

taurus/f/whoretown

love is generally a win-win situation for taurus. the girl cant help it: practically every time she turns around the unvierse goes ch-king - it's her astrological birthright.

[monkey]

b i o n i c = p i s c e s
go!

wait im supposed to have a partner sign? pisces/libra then



since he has no expectations of others, those who want to win his affections end up jumping through hoops to please him - basicaly following him in his footsteps, often vividly straining to win his favor.

pisces man/libra woman:

pisces is the maestro orchestrating libra's life, perhaps with a heavy hand. she cant resist his inspiration. she's his muse. best-case scenerio: their collaborations become classics. sex is an ecstatic exploration of the senses.

[monkey]

leo female vs. libra male (!)

flattery gets them everywhere: validation is the basis of their jovial bond. he learns to compromise; her energy is infectious. In bed, Leo wears the pants, but Libra's content to play passive.

[monkey]

scorpio, and i am a female

yes you are.
scorpio has subliminal tempests raging inside her, regardless of the cool lid she might be keeping on them. she doesnt need any man to make her feel like a natural woman, she was born that way.

[zorra_chiflada]

yes you are.
scorpio has sublimical tempests raging inside her, regardless of the cool lid she might be keeping on them. she doesnt need any man to make her feel like a natural woman, she was born that way.

:cool:

[monkey]

male Pisces

pisces man could watch the most hardcore porn with a roomful of grannies and not feel the slightest bit of embarrasment. likewise, he can enter a decadent sexual landscape, even as a vague participant and surface unscathed, without any residual battering to his peace of mind.

[Planetary]

can you do pisces male/pisces female please.

and pisces male/the one after pisces female.

[monkey]

lioness :)


oh, and if we're doing partner shit, do lioness + male gemini

she performs fellatio with savage, if not toothy, avandon, making a man fear for his parts. despite the obvious pleasure oral sex conveys, she sees having her kitty licked as merely a fleeting precursor to penetration.

lion/gem
they have so much in common: commitment to family, appetite to achievement, a love of lavish spending. happily, they allow each other plenty of personal space. sexual independence is often admissible as well.

[monkey]

Capri-pants, male.

cap man is a beguiling combination of boyish beauty and an almost careworn, craggy crustiness. he goes where the love is - often to girls with a janis ian soundtrack running in their head who relate to his nonconformist, misfit appeal and seek to share in his dissident view of existence. :p

[monkey]

can you do pisces male/pisces female please.

and pisces male/the one after pisces female.

pisces/pisces: a dizzying dynamic. fate seems to have brought them together. sometimes they stagger toward goals, but they usually arrive. life is heightened - a too emotional approach is a possible pitfall. in bed, foreplay is foremost.

pisces/aries woman: with this ultrareceptive man, she softens,s timulating maternal instincts. hes expected to clean up his emotional act or take his exit. sex is no simple affair: she wants it long and hard; he's comfotable cuddling.

[iceygirl]

virgo woman

[Chicka B]

oh, can you do gemini fem./leo male please?? :o


but i'm not like thinking of any leo in particular of course.
and if you would, gemini fem./scorpio male too.

Heeey, Yauch's a leo! And both Mike and Horovitz is a scorpio too, hmmm... *glares suspiciously* Just kiddin, I'm weird too. Whenever there's anything to do with the zodiac I read mine, then read theirs too (and all my friends and family) to see what's gonna happen with them. Then it'll say somethin for the scorpio like "in the next month you will be very busy and get a lot of money" or somethin, and I'll be like "YAAAY the bboys are workin on a new album!" Also, them quiz things where you find out how good you are in bed and what your porn name is, I always type in their name but you know that's not for sure it's just funny. Ok I sound way too psycho. :D

And Pauli, what's the best match for a virgo female and the description? :o

[ericlee]

as one of the truly bisexual signs of the zodiac, he is especially paradoxical in his sexual attractions. libra is prone to liking threesomes.

Great, so I'm some fag who likes threesomes?

Hmm, I wonder what Paul Jones and Freebasser are doing tonight..

[Planetary]

pisces/pisces: a dizzying dynamic. fate seems to have brought them together. sometimes they stagger toward goals, but they usually arrive. life is heightened - a too emotional approach is a possible pitfall. in bed, foreplay is foremost.

pisces/aries woman: with this ultrareceptive man, she softens,s timulating maternal instincts. hes expected to clean up his emotional act or take his exit. sex is no simple affair: she wants it long and hard; he's comfotable cuddling.

damnit.

[Lex Diamonds]

You're just going to have to ask her to settle for short and limp. (y)

[Planetary]

dude i told you she doesn't want to fuck you.

[Lex Diamonds]

That's not what she said last night.

[paul jones]

pisces man could watch the most hardcore porn with a roomful of grannies and not feel the slightest bit of embarrasment. likewise, he can enter a decadent sexual landscape, even as a vague participant and surface unscathed, without any residual battering to his peace of mind.
yeah,I convinced them it was better than 'Murder She Wrote'(y)

[kleptomaniac]

dammit dammit dammit

i've been found out (!)



the beastie boys arent gonna have sex with you. that's my astrological prediction. i feel dirty even writing these down cause... arent you 16?

eh more or less. c'mon.....i'm just curious. :rolleyes:

aww thanks for nothing :(

[Planetary]

That's not what she said last night.

nope, not exactly. it went more like 'holy shit it's small LMFAO!1'

[ggirlballa]

the fish migh find herself in a series of marriages or serious relationships with closeted gay men, thinking nothing suspicious in their shared desire to regularly redecorate to the soothing strains of liza with a z.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

DENY DENY DENY DENY

[ggirlballa]

hey whats the name of the book u bought?

it seems to be a very interesting read

[HOTWIFE]

Aries-all woman baby

[Documad]

What happens when cancer male and cancer female hook up?

[Lex Diamonds]

nope, not exactly. it went more like 'holy shit it's small LMFAO!1'
Yeah, last night when I called her up to talk about the size of your penis.

[b i o n i c]

since he has no expectations of others, those who want to win his affections end up jumping through hoops to please him - basicaly following him in his footsteps, often vividly straining to win his favor.

pisces man/libra woman:

pisces is the maestro orchestrating libra's life, perhaps with a heavy hand. she cant resist his inspiration. she's his muse. best-case scenerio: their collaborations become classics. sex is an ecstatic exploration of the senses.


so basically some chick is gonna end up being my bitch then?

[ET]

What the hell, Libra/m. I wanna see what kind of bs this book vomits out of itself.

[Nuzzolese]

What does it say about an Aries male + Aquarius female match?

[monkey]

i cant do "best match" my book doesnt believe in "best match". but damn, apparently it believes that everyone is a sexfiend.

virgo woman

sex puts virgo in touch with parts of herself she wouldnt otherwise know existed, helping ger to experience whgat a woman is most essentially designed for on the physical, sexual plane: mating.

[b i o n i c]

im dissapointed that there was nothing about fellatio in mine.

[monkey]

hey whats the name of the book u bought?

it seems to be a very interesting read

sextrology (http://www.amazon.com/Sextrology-Astrology-Sexes-Starsky-Cox/dp/0060586311/sr=8-1/qid=1159294915/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-8372136-8580764?ie=UTF8&s=books)

[monkey]

Aries-all woman baby

except for her trademark tantrums, aries is otherwise fairly unemotional. she seems to feel only in so far as circumstances concern her, often lacking sympathetic regard for others.

[monkey]

What happens when cancer male and cancer female hook up?


two moon-ruled souls share a rare and rarefied emotional and sexual connection. they seem to live on their love alone. at home, everything looks like a wreck; but chaos is comforting. bed is a safety zone where anything goes.

[monkey]

so basically some chick is gonna end up being my bitch then?

yes.

im dissapointed that there was nothing about fellatio in mine.

you want blowjobs? well, theres none for you in the book.

[b i o n i c]

but everyone else got them! :mad: fucking book...

[monkey]

What the hell, Libra/m. I wanna see what kind of bs this book vomits out of itself.

not enough with all the other libra male words i have put forth? ok, more!

he wants a lover to writhe in great expectation before he so much as licks a nipple.

good?

[monkey]

What does it say about an Aries male + Aquarius female match?

she retains a strong selfhood; he's emotionall accessed via their association. intellectual growth is the outcome. sex is playful and plentiful. theres more pleasure than she'd imagined in the missionary position.

[wanton wench]

scorpio woman :)

[Nuzzolese]

I bet I could write these.

[Nuzzolese]

Deal...or No deal?

[wanton wench]

deal

[Nuzzolese]

Cancer male - Sex is sacred for him, the place and the atmosphere have to be just so, to make him feel secure. So he's likely to want to do it in the same place each time, with the same setup, and seduction approach. And he'll persist in finding what pleases his partner first, before revealing what pleases him. So if you want to please him, tell him what you want. Then he'll relax and enjoy it himself. He likes to be in charge and on top early on in the relationship. He's more into simple sensuality like nudity and shared baths, than lingerie and cameras. Don't be offended if he doesn't make much noise. He's discrete. His politeness and high standards of behavior extend to everything he does, so he'll probably say "thank you" a lot and offer to do the laundry afterwards.

[monkey]

making them up yourself takes work. too much effort.

[HOTWIFE]

except for her trademark tantrums, aries is otherwise fairly unemotional. she seems to feel only in so far as circumstances concern her, often lacking sympathetic regard for others.
yeah so where does sex fit into that? I want my money back.

[Bob]

Cancer male - Sex is sacred for him, the place and the atmosphere have to be just so, to make him feel secure. So he's likely to want to do it in the same place each time, with the same setup, and seduction approach. And he'll persist in finding what pleases his partner first, before revealing what pleases him. So if you want to please him, tell him what you want. Then he'll relax and enjoy it himself. He likes to be in charge and on top early on in the relationship. He's more into simple sensuality like nudity and shared baths, than lingerie and cameras. Don't be offended if he doesn't make much noise. He's discrete. His politeness and high standards of behavior extend to everything he does, so he'll probably say "thank you" a lot and offer to do the laundry afterwards.


it didn't say anything about "lasts 10 seconds", so i'm hyped

[ET]

^ lol u like sukin dix. ;)

Oh I didn't go through every post or anything. Man, the writhing just happens naturally. It's like a plus.