customer disservice

[The Notorious LOL]

customer: "I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE IVR SYSTEMS, WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO TYPE MY NUMBER AND THEN YOU ASK FOR IT AGAIN! ITS SO....*cue six minute long rant* AND IT WASTES MY TIME!


me: "you just wasted six minutes complaining about it as opposed to the two seconds it takes to tell me your phone number"

[Justin]

mmm Heinz....the factory is less than a mile from me(y)

[Pres Zount]

Scustomer: (banging on toilet door) "Hey, the toilet is locked!"
Me: "Well, that probably means someone is in there"
Cust: "Well I need to go!"
Me: "...I guess you will have to wait..."
Cust: "Jesus:mad: "

[ericlee]

Scustomer: (banging on toilet door) "Hey, the toilet is locked!"
Me: "Well, that probably means someone is in there"
Cust: "Well I need to go!"
Me: "...I guess you will have to wait..."
Cust: "Jesus:mad: "

man, people are stupid at that. A public bathroom when locked usually has the red indicator above the handle showing when it's locked and green when unlocked. It seems that everytime I'm taking a dump someone would try to open the door and being that it's locked, they insist on thinking that it's just stuck and try to shimmy it harder. I then yell, "Can I take a shit in peace?" and they'd be like, "oh, haha. Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in there". Fucking ass hats.

[Justin]

Now im thinking about that episode of seinfield when their at that mexican place and george wants to use the public phone and people keep pissing him off.

[marsdaddy]

I call bullshit on NLOL. There is no way a customer knows what an IVR is. He's just a frustrated artist.

Haha, wait, you're at a call center now?

[Bob]

i think i wanna get a customer service job. i have no stories, everyone who works in a customer service job has stories, and everyone loves to hear them

[Yeti]

Now im thinking about that episode of seinfield when their at that mexican place and george wants to use the public phone and people keep pissing him off.

Wasn't that the Chinese restaurant episode. George was trying to get in touch with a girl. She called the host and he mispronounced Costanza and he missed the call. They wait and people keep getting called in front of them. They leave and as soon as the door shuts behind them their name is called. Is that the episode?

[ggirlballa]

i think i wanna get a customer service job. i have no stories, everyone who works in a customer service job has stories, and everyone loves to hear them

haha true

[The Notorious LOL]

I call bullshit on NLOL. There is no way a customer knows what an IVR is. He's just a frustrated artist.

Haha, wait, you're at a call center now?


well, the term IVR is "industry jargon"...his actual wording was "the automated system"


uh yeah I have been at one since 2004.

[ggirlballa]

uh yeah I have been at one since 2004.

what company?

[marsdaddy]

well, the term IVR is "industry jargon"...his actual wording was "the automated system"Busted!

I used to sell IVRs. We're practically related.

[ericlee]

i think i wanna get a customer service job. i have no stories, everyone who works in a customer service job has stories, and everyone loves to hear them

pizza delivery man. I think I'm gonna end up getting a part time job as a pizza delivery guy just for the shit I'd see when I'd arrive to the house of delivery.

Actually, when I deliverd for Wok N' Roll, I had the best times. Delivering to hotels always cracked me up because it was usually some drunks that would tip $10. I delivered to another hotel and there was 3 drunk girls that asked me to swing over after I got off work. I didn't bone them but it was cool hanging out with them and having a few drinks.

I also delivered to this one house and out came a real malnourished dog and the owner kicked him in the head and yelled for it to get back in the house. I ended up calling the humane society after that delivery. Fucking bastards.

[Bob]

Wasn't that the Chinese restaurant episode. George was trying to get in touch with a girl. She called the host and he mispronounced Costanza and he missed the call. They wait and people keep getting called in front of them. They leave and as soon as the door shuts behind them their name is called. Is that the episode?

yeop

classic episode, i know that sounds lame, but it seriously is. it's basically one huge long scene. but it works, it's great.

i like automated systems, kinda, because i have a phobia of phones and i'd rather push buttons on a computer, but sometimes they're pretty obnoxious. the overly complex ones are annoying. the options can be kind of vague. recently i had to call my bank to cancel a stop payment on a check, and i navigated through the options to get to "for a stop payment, press blah blah blah" so i pressed it, but then it was only for stop payments, not cancelling them (i didn't know this, i did the stop payment online). so then i had to start from the beginning to navigate my way back to the "talk to an associate" option which was way too hard to find, by the way, and she settled it no problem

my point is, overly complicated automated sytems (IVR's as you jerks apparently call them) tend to get the customer frustrated before they even talk to you and i'm surprised nobody with any power's realized this

[The Notorious LOL]

Busted!

I used to sell IVRs. We're practically related.



I was trying to save time typing. Its amazing how many people complain about it, actually. Saying your number takes all of 2 seconds if that.

[Bob]

pizza delivery man. I think I'm gonna end up getting a part time job as a pizza delivery guy just for the shit I'd see when I'd arrive to the house of delivery.

Actually, when I deliverd for Wok N' Roll, I had the best times. Delivering to hotels always cracked me up because it was usually some drunks that would tip $10. I delivered to another hotel and there was 3 drunk girls that asked me to swing over after I got off work. I didn't bone them but it was cool hanging out with them and having a few drinks.

I also delivered to this one house and out came a real malnourished dog and the owner kicked him in the head and yelled for it to get back in the house. I ended up calling the humane society after that delivery. Fucking bastards.


nice (y)

i think i want to be a waiter. waiting tables seems like a pretty honest job. yeah, you work hard, and people are jerks, but fuck it, they're out of your life in less than an hour. the best thing about it, to me, is that the amount you make is based on how good you are at your job. yeah, sure, you occasionally run into a mr. pink that doesn't tip on principle, but in the course of a given day, the amount you make in tips is gonna be pretty directly proportional to your performance. and assuming you don't work at some shitty place that pays like $2/hr in order to account for tips you can really clean up, for a job that doesn't require you to get a master's degree

[The Notorious LOL]

I delivered pizza in a suburb in 2000 part time after my full time job. There was a particular apartment complex on the edge of the freeway that was well known to be somewhat sketchy that I got a delivery to.


Customer ordered pizza, breadsticks, and a 2 liter. I forgot the 2 liter and when I got there they asked about it. Dude seemed to be very cautious about standing in front of the door so as I couldnt see in. I said it wasnt a big deal because I could go to the store and buy one and the restaurant would credit me for the cost. He paid for the cost and gave me a three dollar tip.


When I came back to bring the 2 liter to him I knocked on the door and the dude, once again opened the door just a slight crack. I could see some shady types in the back but couldnt tell wtf was going on. He was like "hey thanks, here you go" and handed what appeared to be a couple bucks. Upon closer inspection it was 2 ones, a ten, and two twenties. So $55 total.


I assume they were selling drugs and got paranoid I may have saw something. Either way it ruled and I didnt tell my supervisor.

[Rock]

When I was delivering food there was this really really fat lady that never tipped. I mean she would pay to the penny so I would usually take my time getting to her house.
One day she opened the door and the smell of nasty sex (not the good kind of nasty) almost knocked me over. The lady was glowing and some dude came out of the bedroom in a robe and she handed me an extra $10. That made me laugh.
But yeah...the best were the people having people over because they would offer bong hits as well as a tip and tell you to come back later. That shit was fun.

[Bob]

see, this, this is entertaining. i don't have any of this. i think i missed out, by skipping customer service jobs. i did a fast food esque thing for 3 summers, that's all i got

[Rock]

get a job as a waiter. depending on the place you will get decent money. And most likely no matter what the establishment you will get decent pussy, and decent drugs..not that I condone that shit or anything.

[Bob]

get a job as a waiter. depending on the place you will get decent money. And most likely no matter what the establishment you will get decent pussy, and decent drugs..not that I condone that shit or anything.

nice (y)

i think i want to be a waiter. waiting tables seems like a pretty honest job. yeah, you work hard, and people are jerks, but fuck it, they're out of your life in less than an hour. the best thing about it, to me, is that the amount you make is based on how good you are at your job. yeah, sure, you occasionally run into a mr. pink that doesn't tip on principle, but in the course of a given day, the amount you make in tips is gonna be pretty directly proportional to your performance. and assuming you don't work at some shitty place that pays like $2/hr in order to account for tips you can really clean up, for a job that doesn't require you to get a master's degree


yeah, it's what i'm thinking. i'm worried though, it seems like every roach-free place wants you to have experience. i have no experience. i'm too old to spend 3 years at friendly's, man, i'm above that now

[ericlee]

But yeah...the best were the people having people over because they would offer bong hits as well as a tip and tell you to come back later. That shit was fun.

Oh yeah, I used to deliver to the university in Cincinnatti and they'd always offer bong hits. One of my regulars would just plain tip me a joint.

After a few months of working the area you find out who the tippers are and who aren't so I'd deliver in the order, from high tippers getting the warmest food and non tippers need to take an ice pick to their shit by the time it gets to them.

I always delivered to this one cool as hell guy who'd always be wasted and didn't want to drive to the store to get more booze so, he'd request me all the time and I'd stop and get a case of beer for him and he'd tip me $20 each time.

[ericlee]

yeah, it's what i'm thinking. i'm worried though, it seems like every roach-free place wants you to have experience. i have no experience. i'm too old to spend 3 years at friendly's, man, i'm above that now

Bob, I can see you being a perfect waiter though. But, the key to having a fun waiter job would be at a place that has a bar inside and serves alcohol. In this kind of business, alcohol=bigger tips. Not just that but, people don't care about roaches after some strong drinks.

A place like Friendly's sucks because they're open 24/7 and who knows, you might get stuck on morning shift which means waiting on the drunks that stayed till closing time at the bar getting some food just to absorb the alcohol that's eating their stomachs. Fuck that noise.

I used to wait tables at this joint in my hometown called Cisco and Charlies which was slammed during the summer time with a bunch of drunken tourists that would stay during the whole summer. They'd start the day at the bar getting hammered and then go to the dining section and eat. I've gotten 11 groups of people that always requested me to be the waiter and they would come in almost every other day if not every day. Being a waiter is cool as hell too but it's got to be in the right environment. I just can't do that anymore because I hate being stuck in a building for 8 hours a day.

[Bob]

i used to work at an amusement park, in the food stands. there were only 2-3 places that served alcohol, i worked in one of them on year. the park was a popular place for high school kids looking for summer jobs (which was the reason i was there), and the work was easy, each stand only served like 4-5 kinds of food. obviously not the kind of job where you get tips, ever, but for some reason, if you were serving beer, people wanted to tip you now and then. not all the time, you'd only get the occasional drunk sucker who didn't know you weren't supposed to tip us, but it was still pretty cool. it's odd, i was actually one of the lead tip-earners of the stand. i don't know why. maybe it's got something to do with me being really fucking good at pouring. i pour my beers like i live my life, no head

anyway, one day i got like 5 people in a row that tipped me, which was impressive. ususally you'd be lucky to get 2-3 tips in a day.

i really am thinking about just becoming a waiter though, seriously. yeah, i have no experience, but i am a college grad. that's gotta be worth something?

[ericlee]

i used to work at an amusement park, in the food stands. there were only 2-3 places that served alcohol, i worked in one of them on year. the park was a popular place for high school kids looking for summer jobs (which was the reason i was there), and the work was easy, each stand only served like 4-5 kinds of food. obviously not the kind of job where you get tips, ever, but for some reason, if you were serving beer, people wanted to tip you now and then. not all the time, you'd only get the occasional drunk sucker who didn't know you weren't supposed to tip us, but it was still pretty cool. it's odd, i was actually one of the lead tip-earners of the stand. i don't know why. maybe it's got something to do with me being really fucking good at pouring. i pour my beers like i live my life, no head

anyway, one day i got like 5 people in a row that tipped me, which was impressive. ususally you'd be lucky to get 2-3 tips in a day.

i really am thinking about just becoming a waiter though, seriously. yeah, i have no experience, but i am a college grad. that's gotta be worth something?

Well, you're only the second person who's deemed worthy enough to be in my sig because that was crackle city right there man.(y)

You can make it worthy of something. As long as it pays the bills and for the main reason, AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOUR JOB!!

Really though, I figure that if I have a degree in nuclear technology but I work as a waiter instead and I love my job, I could really care less about what people think I do for a living. I'm tired of all these jobs where I got a pocket full of cash but I still come home depressed because I've had a shitty day at work.

Here I am, I wrote a thread about how much I hate customer service and saying nothing but kudos about it. What I do now is a whole different style of customer service but I really am considering being a waiter or even a bartender.

[kate]

i've been thinking about getting a waitress job on the side, a couple days a week maybe on the weekends or something. i have no idea why because i hate people and i hate being nice to people, but i think i'd love spitting in someone's food if they were being a fuck to me. it just seems like it could be a cool job

[ericlee]

i've been thinking about getting a waitress job on the side, a couple days a week maybe on the weekends or something. i have no idea why because i hate people and i hate being nice to people, but i think i'd love spitting in someone's food if they were being a fuck to me. it just seems like it could be a cool job

Spitting in someone's food is merely the pleasure of what my best friend used to do.

He knew his regulars and knew their habits. Not just the no tipping that they do even though he's displayed his best character towards them but, they were just complete assholes towards him. It seemed like he'd always, no matter how hard he tried to avoid serving them, getting them as his customers.

He would take their butterknives and other utensils and slide them down the crack of his ass prior to serving them. Of course, after like 2 hours of him dealing with those dickheads and them leaving with no tip. He'd watch them leave with a total look of satisfaction on his face.

[kate]

hahaha that's sick. and it sounds like something i could do part time for the rest of my life.

[Yeti]

This is why I don't like restaurants. Fuckin' waiters and waitresses are misfits. I tip well and I am nice but most of them are inept arses. I choose to eat at home and stick the butterknife in my own asscrack.

[ericlee]

This is why I don't like restaurants. Fuckin' waiters and waitresses are misfits. I tip well and I am nice but most of them are inept arses. I choose to eat at home and stick the butterknife in my own asscrack.

Well, that's the whole point.. You tip well and you get the service of being at home...


You don't bother to tip then, you may be lucky enough to find a bunjie cord(pubic hair) for the dingle berry hanging from the fork.

That's the good thing about living in a small town. Every face is noticed apon actions and towards the actions, the proper results will follow.

If you were good with me, I'd advise you to order beer from the tap and not charge you because they could never keep track of the beer sales from the tap. You'd not only walk out of the joint with a pleasant full stomach but, you wouldn't remember how you walked out at all.

[Yeti]

If you were good with me, I'd advise you to order beer from the tap and not charge you because they could never keep track of the beer sales from the tap. You'd not only walk out of the joint with a pleasant full stomach but, you wouldn't remember how you walked out at all.

Oh, I'm an old pro. I used to frequent an Irish pub and tip very very well (sometimes I tip the same amount as the bill). I would drink Harp out of the tap and the bartenders would give me many a free pint.
I was the bouncer/money guy during band nights and the cooks, waiters, waitresses and all of us hungout at after hours clubs when the pub closed. I heard all the horror stories. I do eat out some but prefer fine dining and not pub food or chain food.

[ET]

Bob, I can see you being a perfect waiter though. But, the key to having a fun waiter job would be at a place that has a bar inside and serves alcohol. In this kind of business, alcohol=bigger tips. Not just that but, people don't care about roaches after some strong drinks.


Amen! To the bar sluts anyway. You need a gimmick like balancing a Jack Daniel's bottle on your head. Or maybe holding one in your teeth. Get on it, Bob.

[mikizee]

i pour my beers like i live my life, no head

are you serious? thats not how you pour a beer at all!!! bloody americans, dont know good beer from their ass!

nothing personal. your alright. (y)

[Bob]

are you serious? thats not how you pour a beer at all!!! bloody americans, dont know good beer from their ass!

nothing personal. your alright. (y)

well, keep in mind that we served budweiser, and it cost $3.50 a glass. i think it would be offensive to pay that much and not be able to drink some of it

[Dr Deaf]

vince carter gave me $20 and i said "thanks mr carter"

maaan, that dudes diamonds are reckless, super nice guy all around.

[roosta]

customer: "I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE IVR SYSTEMS, WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO TYPE MY NUMBER AND THEN YOU ASK FOR IT AGAIN! ITS SO....*cue six minute long rant* AND IT WASTES MY TIME!


me: "you just wasted six minutes complaining about it as opposed to the two seconds it takes to tell me your phone number"

yeah, i got that quite a bit back in the old call centre.

i dont have as many stories at my current one...too incident free. but thats the trade off..easy job, less anecdotes...