the competitive nature of women OR high school redux: a play

[Dorothy Wood]

so, there's this girl I'll call Carmen. she is a nice girl, I've had quite a few pleasant and interesting conversations with her, she's in med school now, she does electrical engineering, etc. HOWEVER, she is a mother-fucking annoying girl, and a thorn in my side.

Scene I

at a late night bar down the street from bg101's house, I am conversing with Nathan's roommate (Scott) about a girl we know that he has a crush on.

me: well, when you take a girl for a walk, you better ask her for her phone number!

Scott: I know! shit! I should've asked her!

Carmen, who briefly dated Scott earlier in the summer walks up.

Carmen (to Scott): isn't dorothy so pretty?!

me: mrrgh

scott: uh, well, yes, she's lovely

me (perplexed): umm, oh, hey, uh, thanks

blah blah blah, Scott squeezes my arm and pulls me

me: hey blood pressure test!

scott: oh, sorry *squeeze*

laughter

Carmen (to Scott): did you just make fun of her dress?!

scott: huh?

me: no, I said, "blood pressure test", on account of the squeezing.

Carmen: oh, cuz I would totally kick your ass if you made fun of her dress because it's fucking awesome!

scott: yes, I agree, I like it! it's very nice and I wouldn't say otherwise!

me: blood pressure testtttt


Scene II

5 a.m., at my friend Amos' apartment for a night cap with Scott, Carmen and another boy and girl already paired up for the night. Scott makes room on the couch for me next to him, Carmen sits on his other side. the tension is palpable.

Carmen: OKAY LET'S PLAY A GAME!

everyone: yeah!

Carmen: we write questions or dares on paper and then pick them out of a hat and do them.

everyone: alright!

Scott leaves the room for a minute to look for pens, Carmen gets up and sits next to me, taking Scott's seat. Scott returns.

scott (to Carmen): hey! you took my seat!

Carmen: OHHHH, did you want to sit by dorrrotheee?

Scott: YES! I WANT TO SIT BY DOROTHY!

Carmen: fine! geez!

me: *sheepish*



okay, I'm tired of writing like that. anyway, after that she didn't want to play anymore, so just me, amos and scott played while everyone else fell asleep. there was some flirting between me and scott, with intermittent pop-ups by Carmen when the questions turned to the subject of my boobs, and the nosing of them. also, I learned that I can indeed stand on one foot and put the other foot in my mouth. huzzah! amos laid on the floor for 25 seconds in his underwear, and scott did a head stand. good clean fun.

around 7 a.m., Carmen wanted to leave and started getting testy about how much we were talking about world politics and the french revolution. she demanded that scott walk her to her cab. then everyone decided to leave. Carmen asked if I wanted to share a cab, but I decided to spend the night on my friend's couch rather than share the AWKWARD CAB OF DOOOOOM.

Amos had just met Scott, so he asked for his number in case he wanted in on a euchre night, etc. Scott said, "you can have my number only if you give me Dorothy's number." :eek: :rolleyes:

After everyone left, Amos and I were like, "whoaaaa, awkward town!" Amos said, "that whole dynamic was fucking hilarious, dude was hitting on you all night, then when he couldn't get you, he went home with her! ha!" then I said, "yeah, I didn't really want to be part of that whole game. and! he's Nathan's roommate!" and amos was all, "LOL! jesus!"

(I don't think he went home with her actually because she was being really annoying, but you never know, men are filthy animals)


ANYWAY ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE FUN WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT STUPID GIRLS AND THEIR PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BULLSHIT.

why are girls like that? please explain below.

[mikizee]

cos theyre stupid.

[monkey]

the dude sounds like the annoying one is this scenerio. i would hate him. the chick just sounds kinda... immature.

[cosmo105]

because they're jealous, insecure look-at-me need machines.

[mikizee]

because they're jealous, insecure look-at-me need machines.

yes, thats it. spot on.

[skra75]

it seems like a big heap of drama, fueled by just enough alchohol to get one tipsy, but not enough to allow them to loosen up. everyone in this story is guilty.

bad scene. i would have left this party if i was there and gone to Taco Bell with the other drunk people escaping from their own awkward parties.

[Dorothy Wood]

the dude sounds like the annoying one is this scenerio. i would hate him. the chick just sounds kinda... immature.

I guess. he wasn't being annoying though. it was kind of one of those nights where you start to realize that you get along with someone really well, how of all the people there, you're having the most fun talking with that particular person at that particular time. then the banter leads to flirtation as that deep drunk sets in and bowls are being passed.

he was trying to be polite to Carmen most of the time (as I said, they dated briefly I think...or maybe had a fling, I don't know the details). he's a pleasant fellow. he was there the other day when I fell off my bike and expressed concern, offered comfort, followed up on my injury status.

the sad part is, I would like to be friends with Carmen because she's pretty cool and smart...but there's that element of judgement or game-playing that's ever-present.

[skra75]

...when I fell off my bike...

hahhahaahahhahahahahahha!

[Dorothy Wood]

because they're jealous, insecure look-at-me need machines.


yes, but if they would just calm down for a minute, everything would be more fun!

she dated a good friend of mine a couple of years ago, but he broke up with her because she would set up "meetings" with him to discuss their relationship every so often and at the last "meeting", she had typed up a list of things he could do to improve himself. and he said, "fuck this".

[Dorothy Wood]

hahhahaahahhahahahahahha!

MY PURSE GOT STUCK IN MY WHEEL AND I FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN! :mad:

yeah, it was embarassing, but pretty funny.

[cosmo105]

^ahahaha jesus.

that's why it's so hard for me to make female friends. the few i have, i totally adore and love. but so many of them...egh, just can't relate. ugh, i had this one friend all through grade school that did that shit - if you were the least bit interested in a guy, whenever she was around both of you, she'd fuckin' sit in his lap and slut up all over the place even if she didn't even KNOW him. always made everyone around extremely uncomfortable. no one i know talks to her anymore.

[Dorothy Wood]

it seems like a big heap of drama, fueled by just enough alchohol to get one tipsy, but not enough to allow them to loosen up. everyone in this story is guilty.

bad scene. i would have left this party if i was there and gone to Taco Bell with the other drunk people escaping from their own awkward parties.

there are very few taco bells in chicago. and everyone was completely wasted. I actually wanted to loosen up and get more cozy with the kid, but I didn't want to make carmen feel bad...even though she was kind of making me feel bad. and then maybe the whole thing was just confusing for everyone. I probably should've been like, "you had a go at him, now it's my turn!"

[skra75]

there are very few taco bells in chicago.

that's a real shame:(

[Dorothy Wood]

ha ha, as I'm typing all this, my on-tour-forever Dude is emailing me. it's like he's psychic! he's like, I CAN FEEL HER LOSING INTEREST...EYE IS STRAYING...MUST...MAKE...CONTACT....! *explosions*

[skra75]

his big dong has a second brain, like a brontosaurus

[Dorothy Wood]

^ahahaha jesus.

that's why it's so hard for me to make female friends. the few i have, i totally adore and love. but so many of them...egh, just can't relate. ugh, i had this one friend all through grade school that did that shit - if you were the least bit interested in a guy, whenever she was around both of you, she'd fuckin' sit in his lap and slut up all over the place even if she didn't even KNOW him. always made everyone around extremely uncomfortable. no one i know talks to her anymore.

yeah, the girl he's dating now is totally awesome and I love her lots. we were bitching about carmen a bit at the bar last night. I told her about the "first scene" and she was like, "what the fuck?" I know a handful of girls that are super, but the majority of them are really hard for me to take. It's funny though, guys seem to be oblivious to a lot of the shit that girls do...the manipulations and secret cattiness.

[cosmo105]

their minds just aren't set up to understand that, i guess. it's really easy for women (myself included) to manipulate others. we all know how to do it, i think. but the ones that actually do...they suck.

[Dorothy Wood]

his big dong has a second brain, like a brontosaurus

har har. actually...I am starting to lose interest. he's friends with a lot of girls on myspace who leave cutesy little comments. also, all he ever talks about is how busy he is. I'm thinking I should cash in my chips.

[Dorothy Wood]

their minds just aren't set up to understand that, i guess. it's really easy for women (myself included) to manipulate others. we all know how to do it, i think. but the ones that actually do...they suck.

the shitty part is, it's catching. like, I found myself playing the game a little, but sort of squashed it. one of my dares was to moon the room, but I declined because the room was small and it seemed a little weird for me to stand up two feet away from a couple of dudes and pull down my pants...but I totally could've vamped it up and pulled my skirt up, showed my undies or something...I thought of doing that, but I was like, "don't be that girl". ALTHOUGH, I did say something about how a lady Amos was seeing said I looked like winona ryder, but "I don't agree, lol"...knowing full well that they would both look at me to mentally compare, putting all attention on me and inviting compliments. and I felt like a jerk for it and flipped it around and asked them if anyone'd ever told them the look like someone. :o

(Scott said, "you don't look like anyone I've ever seen in my life", and I might have literally swooned)

[cosmo105]

yeah! i know, man. ugh, it's rough. get more than one woman in a room, and one guy walks in and the hairs on the back of the neck stick up and the claws come out. even if you don't want the dude one bit, you still feel like you have to compete. sucks.

[mikizee]

shit, i wish girls would compete over me. alas, it has never happened beyond high school.

[Dorothy Wood]

shit, i wish girls would compete over me. alas, it has never happened beyond high school.

join a band and grow some shaggy hair.

[HEIRESS]

fuck the band, just get some shaggy hair

[mikizee]

a big cock and being taller than 5'8 would probably help too.

[befsquire]

a big cock and being taller than 5'8 would probably help too.
the big cock part certainly would improve your situation.



about half the chicks i meet view me as some sort of competition, even though i do nothing at all to encourage this. it confuses me.

for example, when i went up to canada, one chick that's married to bobby's friend was nice for a bit, but the second she saw my ring she got all catty, and every other word out of her mouth was something that scott was going to buy her, or somewhere that scott was going to take her, blah blah blah. i smiled and constantly just said "that sounds really nice." like i intentionally tried to outdo her ring or something. later on in the evening, it started to wear on me. so, once when she said something that made it seem she was trying to point out my age, i just had it and said "yeah, at least i don't look my age though. probably because i've never worn a shitload of makeup." she wears a lot of makeup, so i'm pretty sure she caught that i was throwing her shit back at her. she didn't talk to me for the rest of the time i was up there.

i don't understand why this kind of shit always happens to me. i don't talk about my job unless specifically asked, i don't go around saying "oh, look what i have" or anything of the sort. so what the fuck? :confused:

[HEIRESS]

I dont talk to chicks unless they are buying me drinks

[Dorothy Wood]

the big cock part certainly would improve your situation.



about half the chicks i meet view me as some sort of competition, even though i do nothing at all to encourage this. it confuses me.

for example, when i went up to canada, one chick that's married to bobby's friend was nice for a bit, but the second she saw my ring she got all catty, and every other word out of her mouth was something that scott was going to buy her, or somewhere that scott was going to take her, blah blah blah. i smiled and constantly just said "that sounds really nice." like i intentionally tried to outdo her ring or something. later on in the evening, it started to wear on me. so, once when she said something that made it seem she was trying to point out my age, i just had it and said "yeah, at least i don't look my age though. probably because i've never worn a shitload of makeup." she wears a lot of makeup, so i'm pretty sure she caught that i was throwing her shit back at her. she didn't talk to me for the rest of the time i was up there.

i don't understand why this kind of shit always happens to me. i don't talk about my job unless specifically asked, i don't go around saying "oh, look what i have" or anything of the sort. so what the fuck? :confused:

that shit is so pointless. she totally ruined her own evening by getting all jealous of you, when everyone just could've had a nice night making new friends. :(

there should be public service announcements telling girls to fuckin relax.


good rule, heiress

[beastieangel01]

she had typed up a list of things he could do to improve himself.

ahahahahahaha

[beastieangel01]

I am so confused. I can't keep up with your relationship threads, they make my brain "owwwie".:confused: :(

you have to disconnect from the other threads and just take each one as they come. That's how I do it! Besides, if the stories intertwine she recaps/mentions it in the new thread. It's all good.

[Loppfessor]

Loppfessor's Prediction of the day: In 10 years Dorothy Wood successfully sues the Beastie Boys for causing her debilitating carpal tunnel syndrome, prompting new legislation banning internet message boards, blogs, and other similar products. Thanks a lot DW!!

[beastiegirrl101]

what bar?

[Dorothy Wood]

continental

[beastiegirrl101]

ooooh, how is that place? It's the only 4am bar that isnt Darkroom and I hear it's pretty cool. I hardly ever venture west of Western though.

[Dorothy Wood]

it's not that cool. "nathan" and another friend were DJing, and they play good music and a bunch of my friends were there, so it was fun. but it's gets pretty shady at the end of the night when the air hangs heavy with desperation. dudes kept complimenting my hair and I was like, "yeah, thanks". there was one guy at the very end who said something about my hair and he was like, "seriously, how do you get it so fluffy?" and I was like, "that's just...my hair, it's just like that." and then yelled for Amos and got them started on sports talk. ha ha. my other friend was like, "yo, your friend's cockblockin you" and I said, "I know, that's a cock I wanted blocked!" ha.

although, there was this one super cutie, and when I was on my way out I said to him, "hi, you're very cute" and started leaving and he was like, "what?!" and I said, "I SAID YOU'RE VERY CUTE!" then ran away. most of the dudes there were yucky though.

[ampm]

so, there's this girl I'll call Carmen. she is a nice girl, I've had quite a few pleasant and interesting conversations with her, she's in med school now, she does electrical engineering, etc. HOWEVER, she is a mother-fucking annoying girl, and a thorn in my side.

Scene I

at a late night bar down the street from bg101's house, I am conversing with Nathan's roommate (Scott) about a girl we know that he has a crush on.

me: well, when you take a girl for a walk, you better ask her for her phone number!

Scott: I know! shit! I should've asked her!

Carmen, who briefly dated Scott earlier in the summer walks up.

Carmen (to Scott): isn't dorothy so pretty?!

me: mrrgh

scott: uh, well, yes, she's lovely

me (perplexed): umm, oh, hey, uh, thanks

blah blah blah, Scott squeezes my arm and pulls me

me: hey blood pressure test!

scott: oh, sorry *squeeze*

laughter

Carmen (to Scott): did you just make fun of her dress?!

scott: huh?

me: no, I said, "blood pressure test", on account of the squeezing.

Carmen: oh, cuz I would totally kick your ass if you made fun of her dress because it's fucking awesome!

scott: yes, I agree, I like it! it's very nice and I wouldn't say otherwise!

me: blood pressure testtttt


Scene II

5 a.m., at my friend Amos' apartment for a night cap with Scott, Carmen and another boy and girl already paired up for the night. Scott makes room on the couch for me next to him, Carmen sits on his other side. the tension is palpable.

Carmen: OKAY LET'S PLAY A GAME!

everyone: yeah!

Carmen: we write questions or dares on paper and then pick them out of a hat and do them.

everyone: alright!

Scott leaves the room for a minute to look for pens, Carmen gets up and sits next to me, taking Scott's seat. Scott returns.

scott (to Carmen): hey! you took my seat!

Carmen: OHHHH, did you want to sit by dorrrotheee?

Scott: YES! I WANT TO SIT BY DOROTHY!

Carmen: fine! geez!

me: *sheepish*



okay, I'm tired of writing like that. anyway, after that she didn't want to play anymore, so just me, amos and scott played while everyone else fell asleep. there was some flirting between me and scott, with intermittent pop-ups by Carmen when the questions turned to the subject of my boobs, and the nosing of them. also, I learned that I can indeed stand on one foot and put the other foot in my mouth. huzzah! amos laid on the floor for 25 seconds in his underwear, and scott did a head stand. good clean fun.

around 7 a.m., Carmen wanted to leave and started getting testy about how much we were talking about world politics and the french revolution. she demanded that scott walk her to her cab. then everyone decided to leave. Carmen asked if I wanted to share a cab, but I decided to spend the night on my friend's couch rather than share the AWKWARD CAB OF DOOOOOM.

Amos had just met Scott, so he asked for his number in case he wanted in on a euchre night, etc. Scott said, "you can have my number only if you give me Dorothy's number." :eek: :rolleyes:

After everyone left, Amos and I were like, "whoaaaa, awkward town!" Amos said, "that whole dynamic was fucking hilarious, dude was hitting on you all night, then when he couldn't get you, he went home with her! ha!" then I said, "yeah, I didn't really want to be part of that whole game. and! he's Nathan's roommate!" and amos was all, "LOL! jesus!"

(I don't think he went home with her actually because she was being really annoying, but you never know, men are filthy animals)


ANYWAY ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE FUN WITH MY FRIENDS WITHOUT STUPID GIRLS AND THEIR PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BULLSHIT.

why are girls like that? please explain below.


Thank goodness I am on disability. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to read this.