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View Full Version : back-handed compliments

befsquire
10-03-2006, 10:52 PM
they're great and horrific all at once.

today i told one inmate that i wasn't feeling well. so he says "well, let me be the first to tell you that you look gorgeous today for being sick."

yesterday, hookers came up in conversation at a bbq (as often happens when you get a room full of defense attorneys), and bobby said i suck dick better than any hooker in town.

um, thanks.
kate
10-03-2006, 10:54 PM
so bobby has had experience with all the hookers in town eh?
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 10:54 PM
dude, the only compliments i get are backhanded ones. i'll post a few of the gems when i remember them
befsquire
10-03-2006, 10:55 PM
so bobby has had experience with all the hookers in town eh?
haha! well done kate.
Drederick Tatum
10-03-2006, 10:57 PM
edit: don't want wrath.
TurdBerglar
10-03-2006, 10:59 PM
dude, the only compliments i get are backhanded ones. i'll post a few of the gems when i remember them


just speak to me for few
befsquire
10-03-2006, 11:01 PM
i missed it. i can't possibly hurt you from here, drederick. what'd you say?


another frequent "compliment" is that i'm aight for a white chick.
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 11:02 PM
just speak to me for few

yeahhhh. like "your hips could demolish a house" the fuck is that shit man?
TurdBerglar
10-03-2006, 11:03 PM
that was funny
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 11:04 PM
"you're just like a dude"
befsquire
10-03-2006, 11:05 PM
that's like the highest of compliments.
TurdBerglar
10-03-2006, 11:06 PM
of course it is
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 11:07 PM
yeah, i don't really see that
TurdBerglar
10-03-2006, 11:13 PM
uuugh

stop being such a chick, man
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 11:13 PM
stop being such a dickshit then
TurdBerglar
10-03-2006, 11:16 PM
but im turd
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 11:16 PM
you're destroying beth's thread, stop it
befsquire
10-03-2006, 11:19 PM
hey, at least it's moving.

my least favorite: for a PD, you're good, but i hired a real lawyer.
zorra_chiflada
10-03-2006, 11:20 PM
hey, at least it's moving.

my least favorite: for a PD, you're good, but i hired a real lawyer.

ouch
befsquire
10-03-2006, 11:22 PM
yeah :(

i asked this one chick, after she pled, why she hired an attorney, and she said she got scared. i said "well, i had a better deal for you than what he got you -- with mine, you would have paid a $250 fine on a misdemeanor." she was pissed and i was happy.
marsdaddy
10-03-2006, 11:36 PM
So you're a better lawyer than the ones who get paid?
befsquire
10-03-2006, 11:41 PM
i'm better than most of them, yes, and definitely that one (he should have at least called me to see what the state had given me as an offer). and now she knows. so, she can think about that while on 6 months probation, doing community service hours, and wishing she had her $5,000 dollars back.
Dr Deaf
10-04-2006, 02:51 PM
you're the best first wife i've ever had.
Rock
10-04-2006, 03:11 PM
I won a theme song contest with a rap song for a local station, and when I walked into the station the two talkshow hosts started laughing saying on the air "Damn, we thought you were going to be black, you're whiter then we are..."

*Sighs*
You know the only right thing to do now is let us have a listen to this.
ampm
10-04-2006, 03:14 PM
Are you a lawyer Beth?
befsquire
10-04-2006, 06:35 PM
Are you a lawyer Beth?
ok, i get it. i'll shut up.
Bob
10-04-2006, 06:46 PM
ok, i get it. i'll shut up.

nah, he's just a jerk, don't listen to him