Drunk Driving

[QueenAdrock]

SO fucking mad right now. One of my friends has completely gone down the drain. He used to not even curse or touch alcohol, now he's a drunken mess. He smokes all the time, drinks all the time, and drives home from DC to suburban Maryland DRUNK. Last Saturday he came into my friends' house and slurred that "He had to drive home because it would be embarassing to throw up in the bar."

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

He's outta control, and I don't know what to do. His parents live far away and have no control over him anymore. I guess I could talk to his sister but I don't know what good it would do. I could report his license plate to the cops, but if he knew I did that he'd never forgive me. But sometimes I don't give a shit. I don't know who he is anymore, he's changed into this alcoholic monster. I'd rather have him caught and forced into rehab than be dead.

I don't know what to do really. Confronting him won't do shit. Maybe his sister would be the best bet. :confused:

:mad: (n)

[befsquire]

don't report his plate. first time DUIs aren't really that serious in the way of penalties, but it's a conviction, and it can wreak havoc just the same. plus, if he violates probation, then he's going to jail.

don't sick his sister on him either.

he's your friend. tell him you're disgusted and explain why. tell him you think he has a problem. he's gonna be pissed and he won't talk to you, but when he finally realizes that you're right, then you'll be able to help.

[QueenAdrock]

True. But then again, technically "I don't know about it." Because it's just his roommates who saw it. If I know, then that means that his roomies told me, so I'm stuck in that bad place of ratting them out. It'd be pretty easy if I caught him coming home drunk and had a reason to talk to him. I don't think my friends want to confront him because they live with him and don't want awkwardness. I just feel like it's not my place if I didn't see it and don't 'know' about it officially. I wish I could talk to someone who could get through to him though, which is why I thought about his sister.

Bleh. :(

[hellojello]

Perhaps an intervention is in order?

You Yanks do that all the time, right?























on tv.


Seriously though I'm not sure there's much you can do my brother is going down a path of destruction right now this minute and there's nothing I can do to stop him I've tried being his friend I've tried telling him what to do as an older responsible sister I've tried getting him to live with me.. nothing works they have to make their own choices and their own mistakes I guess the main thing is he can't expect you guys (his friends) to bail him out (figurativley speaking) when the castle comes crumbling down otherwise he'll never learn. I'm learning that the hard way with my brother right now because I really want to help him but there's got to be a point where he takes responsibility for his own actions, decisions, choices and mistakes.
Lets just hope he doesn't accidently kill someone in the process destroying his own life, his families and someone elses'.

[QueenAdrock]

Exactly. I want him to have help before he hurts someone else. I know if he was in a car accident, he'd probably be okay because drunks more often than not walk away from accidents. It's just SO DUMB. It's selfish, it's stupid, and it just BOILS MY FUCKING BLOOD. It is the most irresponsible thing one person can do behind the wheel of a car, if not one of the most irresponsible things one person can do PERIOD. I want to grab him and shake him by the shoulders and say "What the FUCK is wrong with you?" It won't get through.

You know what his reason behind not drinking for so many years was?

Alcoholism runs in the family.

Glad to see it stopped with him, huh. God, I want to throttle him. It's one thing if you have a problem, it's another thing to inflict your problem on unsuspecting and undeserving people. (n)

[Justin]

take his keys and buy him some beer

[QueenAdrock]

He hates beer. And I never see him anymore because he's too busy out being a lush to ever call. We've lost touch, so it makes it even harder to tell him to stop being a dumbass.

[checkyourprez]

i have a buddy like this. hes totalled two cars already and walked away scott free. i used to care. a lot of my friends did. now we dont. we laugh about it. there comes a point in time where you gotta worry about yourself and not be this persons mother. he ends up ruining your nights out because you wonder if he is gonna be alive in the morning, and thats fucked up. he needs to get his shit together, you dont need to get his shit together.

[QueenAdrock]

True, but I know if I said "fuck it" and something DID happen to him, I'd feel guilty every day for the rest of my life. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I should have said something" when someone's been doing something stupid and it blew up in their face. Granted, if it's something like "I should have told her not to fool around with a married man, and now she got her ass kicked by an angry wife," who cares. But if it's something along the lines of "I should have gotten through to him because now he's dead and he took a family of four with him," then that's totally different. :(

[Vic Colfari]

The sad fact is motor vehicle wrecks are the leading cause of death in the United States for persons under age 34, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Morbidity and Mortality Reports.

Of those deaths, more than 40 percent are alcohol-related.
Alcohol-related accidents are so prevalent, it is estimated that 40 percent of all persons in the United States will be involved in a traffic mishap blamed on alcohol at some point in their lives. Forty percent!

[DandyFop]

True, but I know if I said "fuck it" and something DID happen to him, I'd feel guilty every day for the rest of my life. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I should have said something" when someone's been doing something stupid and it blew up in their face. Granted, if it's something like "I should have told her not to fool around with a married man, and now she got her ass kicked by an angry wife," who cares. But if it's something along the lines of "I should have gotten through to him because now he's dead and he took a family of four with him," then that's totally different. :(

Dude, then DO SOMETHING, if that's how you feel!! If you are really that concerned, worrying about how you aren't the one who saw his behaviour isn't going to matter - just say hey I'm really worried about you, I think you're being careless. You don't have to cite a specific example right away, just start with that and see where it goes.

[Loppfessor]

The sad fact is motor vehicle wrecks are the leading cause of death in the United States for persons under age 34, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Morbidity and Mortality Reports.

Of those deaths, more than 40 percent are alcohol-related.
Alcohol-related accidents are so prevalent, it is estimated that 40 percent of all persons in the United States will be involved in a traffic mishap blamed on alcohol at some point in their lives. Forty percent!


What's your point? You can come up with statistics to prove anything, 40% of people know that

[Vic Colfari]

Ah, yes, the eager young intellectual out to battle the demons of smug fuzzy-headedness here on the net.

Well, Homey don't play that. We aren't going to argue with you, because we already know what arguments can and cannot be knocked down. As I pointed out quite a while back now, no metaphysical axiom can be proven to be necessary.

Meaning, by its very nature, implies a metaphysical and teleological structure that is rooted in assumptions beyond mere matter. That is to say, you will be able to very easily poke holes in our presentation of the meaning of life, by definition. It wouldn't be the meaning of life if it were logically unassailable.

40%

[QueenAdrock]

Dude, then DO SOMETHING, if that's how you feel!! If you are really that concerned, worrying about how you aren't the one who saw his behaviour isn't going to matter - just say hey I'm really worried about you, I think you're being careless. You don't have to cite a specific example right away, just start with that and see where it goes.

Yeah, I really think I should. I'm just TERRIBLE with confrontation. I'm so scared of having people not like me that I usually chicken out and don't say what I want to. Maybe I can get some friends to help out too. I mean, I don't want to attack him or he won't listen, but I don't want to go easy on him. He needs to know how dumb it is.

[monkey]

my best friend's fiance's friend is on trial for murder because he drove drunk and killed a man and DECAPITATED a little girl.

think how many lives were thrown to shit after that, including (though to a much lesser degree) my best friend and her fiance's.

[QueenAdrock]

Oh god, that's terrible. :(

[monkey]

make that he was just convicted for murder. a few minutes ago. a really good, nice guy made the colossal mistake of driving really drunk and killed people. and there's nothing to say about it because we all know it was just about the stupidest thing to do, but... he's 25. he made a mistake that changed his life for the worse at age 25. god this is so upsetting.

[mp-seventythree]

Tell your friend that if he drinks and drives again I'll fly over there with a Stanley knife and cut his Jacobs off:mad:

[Lex Diamonds]

You should get really drunk then run him down in his own car when he leaves his work for lunch break.

THAT WOULD SHOW HIM!

[QueenAdrock]

I never mentioned his name was Jacob. Seriously WTF? Weird word choice mang.

But yeah, I know I gotta say something. Don't know if it'll get through to him or if he'll listen or if he'll yell at me for not seeing him for such a long time and pulling it on him, but whatever.

[QueenAdrock]

You should get really drunk then run him down in his own car when he leaves his work for lunch break.

THAT WOULD SHOW HIM!

(y)

[Funky Pepp]

You really should do something (as all the others said) before it's to late!!!

The boyfriend of a friend of mine killed two people by driving drunk. He and his buddy had been on a party one night and when they drove home he killed the mother of 3 children (my mother-in-law knew those kids cause she's a school secretary) and his buddy too. He himself died one week after the crash because he was injured very badly. I've been to his funeral. And I guess, although it might sound very hard, that it was the best for him (of course not his family and girlfriend and friends) that he died. Because I guess, living with the guilt of having killed two people and destroyed so many lives, is harder.

Then one guy back in school killed a woman, too, by driving home from a festival drunk and high. He survived and didn't even get much of a punishment - ironically right because he was drunk and wasn't "responsible" for what he did...

I really hate people who drink and drive. One woman wrecked my car some years ago. She had 2,7 permille (that's something you can only "achieve" by drinking let's say 2 bottles of vodka and usually, women can't get that drunk anyway as long as they aren't alcoholics - at least that's what the policemen told me...). She was very lucky that she only wrecked my car, cause if she hadn't hit me, she would have killed someone, too...

So long. PROST!

[venusvenus123]

to add to everyone else's stories, a very good friend of mine was almost killed because she (stupidly) got into a car with a drunk driver. they all ended up in a ditch. my friend was so badly injured i didn't recognise her when i saw her in hospital. i then fainted. 25 years later and her facial scars are beginning to fade, but i remember when her brain fluid used to drip out of her nose.

oh, he didn't have a scratch.... but tonnes of guilt, i imagine.

:(