where would one go to get diagnosed with social anxiety disorder [Archive]

Bob

10-17-2006, 10:26 PM

Psychiatrist. I have generalized anxiety disorder, my dad has social anxiety. He's painfully shy when meeting new people and they all think he doesn't like them because of that.

that sounds alot like what i do. i don't really get on well with new people, not in a normal way, i mean. the normal procedure is, you meet somebody and you go "hi, i'm bob, how are you where are you from what are your interests etc etc etc"

but what i do is i say "hey, they seem cool, i'm just gonna sit here and wait until they introduce themselves to me. oh, they're not. hmm, well this is awkward. i'll just keep waiting and see how this turns out"

which doesn't turn out well. it's like, i make it so that people have to make an effort to like me, which isn't really reasonable to expect most people to do, so they end up thinking i don't like them, and i end up thinking they don't like me, and it's just weird.

basically because of stuff like that i'm just feeling very isolated lately. i haven't had a phone call in a month and a half (didn't want to get it, either), and the longest conversation i've had with another sentient being recently was with a cat. it's like i really need to talk to someone to get all this shit off my chest but uh oh i forgot to make friends

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 10:31 PM

bob, we're not so different, you and i

Bob

10-17-2006, 10:39 PM

bob, we're not so different, you and i

sucks for you :(

it's so disappointing though because i mean i know i'm not unlikeable, surely i'm not. you guys like me, and even in real life i'll occasionally do ok. when i do speak up, i tend to get laughs. which feels great. but of course, just because i'm funny occasionally, that's no reason to pay attention to me and love me forever and ever, so it goes back to business as usual with me sitting there hating myself wondering why nobody's talking to me. and of course in my head, i know that more than likely, the reason nobody's talking to me is because i'm not doing anything interesting, i'm just sitting there, and i'm not the center of the universe, so of course nobody's just going to up and talk to me if i keep going on like that.

but in the other part of my head, the evil self-loathing part, i have my doubts, and i can't help but think that people actually do not like me for reasons that i can't seem to figure out. like i'll think that people are looking at me funny, or i'll just perceive minor things as insults. and then there's the debate in my head where it's like "shut up, that's just normal shit for people to do/no fuck you, that definitely means they hate you", i'm like gollum, i swear.

if in fact i am doing something wrong, i can't figure out what it is but i also don't know for sure if i am, it's terrible.

i dunno maybe i'm just a whiny cunt but i'm really reaching a critical mass here i think, it's getting worse lately. maybe i should see if the university has a counselor or something i dunno oh wait i don't have time because i'm in law school, whoops

i dunno, i just need a friend, or a drink, or a hug, or a blowjob or something, i swear

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 10:43 PM

sucks for you :(

it's so disappointing though because i mean i know i'm not unlikeable, surely i'm not. you guys like me, and even in real life i'll occasionally do ok. when i do speak up, i tend to get laughs. which feels great. but of course, just because i'm funny occasionally, that's no reason to pay attention to me and love me forever and ever, so it goes back to business as usual with me sitting there hating myself wondering why nobody's talking to me. and of course in my head, i know that more than likely, the reason nobody's talking to me is because i'm not doing anything interesting, i'm just sitting there, and i'm not the center of the universe, so of course nobody's just going to up and talk to me if i keep going on like that.

but in the other part of my head, the evil self-loathing part, i have my doubts, and i can't help but think that people actually do not like me for reasons that i can't seem to figure out. like i'll think that people are looking at me funny, or i'll just perceive minor things as insults. and then there's the debate in my head where it's like "shut up, that's just normal shit for people to do/no fuck you, that definitely means they hate you", i'm like gollum, i swear.

if in fact i am doing something wrong, i can't figure out what it is but i also don't know for sure if i am, it's terrible.

i dunno maybe i'm just a whiny cunt but i'm really reaching a critical mass here i think, it's getting worse lately. maybe i should see if the university has a counselor or something i dunno oh wait i don't have time because i'm in law school, whoops

i dunno, i just need a friend, or a drink, or a hug, or a blowjob or something, i swear

jeez. sometimes when i read your posts it's like you're reading my mind. nobody wants to hear the details, but i get a lot of the same feelings that you do a lot of the time. it's not something you can shake :(

Bob

10-17-2006, 10:47 PM

jeez. sometimes when i read your posts it's like you're reading my mind. nobody wants to hear the details, but i get a lot of the same feelings that you do a lot of the time. it's not something you can shake :(

yeah, and that "nobody wants to hear the details" thing is so spot on. i'm sort of feeling weird about posting all this but i really need to get it out, i'm coming apart, i think. on the internet, if nowhere else.

because it's like, you just want to sort of reach out and tell somebody how you're feeling, the nearest person who's willing to pay attention to you, but they don't wanna hear it, and i can't blame them. i've talked to depressed people before, and it's selfish but it's annoying, it's true. you sit there and you say "oh...that's too bad...but at least-"
"no, because of this sad self-defeating thing right here"
"oh, well....too bad i guess, good lu-"
"and also, this sad thing"
and i don't really wanna burden anyone with that, even if i had someone i thought i could talk to, but i'm also sick of being so isolated, so it's a rock and a hard place kind of thing.

i dunno, sorry for whining everybody, but i gotta

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 10:52 PM

yeah, and that "nobody wants to hear the details" thing is so spot on. i'm sort of feeling weird about posting all this but i really need to get it out, i'm coming apart, i think. on the internet, if nowhere else.

because it's like, you just want to sort of reach out and tell somebody how you're feeling, the nearest person who's willing to pay attention to you, but they don't wanna hear it, and i can't blame them. i've talked to depressed people before, and it's selfish but it's annoying, it's true. you sit there and you say "oh...that's too bad...but at least-"
"no, because of this sad self-defeating thing right here"
"oh, well....too bad i guess, good lu-"
"and also, this sad thing"
and i don't really wanna burden anyone with that, even if i had someone i thought i could talk to, but i'm also sick of being so isolated, so it's a rock and a hard place kind of thing.

i dunno, sorry for whining everybody, but i gotta

i've ranted to people online about my shit before, and they haven't shown obvious signs of distate or whatever. in fact, i've received some good advice. the anonymity of the internet kinda stops you from censoring yourself, and you feel the freedom to just say everything without fear of the repurcussions.

hitmonlee

10-17-2006, 10:59 PM

sometimes i throw up before i go out or before meeting new people.
i diagnosed myself, and sometimes take a valium.
other times i just cancel
people hate me for it, but they don't know how i feel.

Bob

10-17-2006, 11:01 PM

i've ranted to people online about my shit before, and they haven't shown obvious signs of distate or whatever. in fact, i've received some good advice. the anonymity of the internet kinda stops you from censoring yourself, and you feel the freedom to just say everything without fear of the repurcussions.

yeah, that's true. actually this is helping, you relating to me and all, i don't feel so alone now (that sounds so emo that i almost can't stand to post it, but whatever)

i should definitely check into getting some drugs, though. just to get the ball rolling, you know.

of course that's what i said about alcohol and that didn't work. not to say i'm an alcoholic or anything (i'm not drunk now, but i sound drunk), it's just that the "i'll drink to get comfortable talking to people" thing didn't work out. because what happens is i'll get drunk, then i'll suddenly magically carry on a conversation like a normal human being to the point where my voice is giving and i can't remember what i've been talking about but the other person's still with me (which as far as i know is what normal conversation is like), but then the next day i'll be sober and weird again. as fun as it would be, i don't have the time to be drunk all day

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:04 PM

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:06 PM

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 11:07 PM

yeah, that's true. actually this is helping, you relating to me and all, i don't feel so alone now (that sounds so emo that i almost can't stand to post it, but whatever)

i should definitely check into getting some drugs, though. just to get the ball rolling, you know.

of course that's what i said about alcohol and that didn't work. not to say i'm an alcoholic or anything (i'm not drunk now, but i sound drunk), it's just that the "i'll drink to get comfortable talking to people" thing didn't work out. because what happens is i'll get drunk, then i'll suddenly magically carry on a conversation like a normal human being to the point where my voice is giving and i can't remember what i've been talking about but the other person's still with me (which as far as i know is what normal conversation is like), but then the next day i'll be sober and weird again. as fun as it would be, i don't have the time to be drunk all day

i have been medicated since i was probably 15. i know it's not a good idea to start that early, and i'm probably going to be dependent on it for the rest of my life, but it wasn't solely for my sake. i would have periods where i would absolutely intolerable to be around and be really violent and out of control. now, when i'm having a bad day, or a bad mood, i just get really broody and can sleep it off.
about alcohol, man i know i've had to limit myself. i could easily slip into alcoholism because i really feel better when i've been drinking as pathetic as that sounds. sometimes when i'm drunk i wonder why am i never not drunk.
but yeah, see a doctor about it for sure. the fact of the matter is that you may very well have a physically brain chemistry problem and you dont deserve to be struggling with basic social interactions and every day life, especially if there is a remedy available.

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 11:08 PM

I really hate the drugs. They took away my sister in law's personality and they ruined one of my friends to where I don't even want to be around her anymore. I know that sometimes it's a matter of life and death, but I'd try talking to a counselor without the drugs for a while.

everyone i've talked to has told me how bad the drugs are, but only the people really close to me understand how necessary they are in my case. my parents were terrified i'd become a psychopath, a criminal or a drug addict and completely fuck myself up. it has given me the opportunity to live the normal life i deserve.

Bob

10-17-2006, 11:15 PM

First of all, you're going to be even more insecure than normal because of law school. I am very confident in my smarts but it derailed me. I was never confident in people skills so that part scared the shit out of me even more. I'd go sit in the lounge at an empty table and hope that someone would sit with me, but when two people came over, they'ld ask if I'd mind moving because they want a table for their study group. I still remember those fuckers and one of them is a good friend of mine today. I never let her forget it. Her study group was a disaster. I did so much better than her.

You are probably going to school with freaks who are very good at playing games. They're not normal. You are the normal one. You will find other normal ones and you will laugh at the freaks. It took me until the end of first semester to find three normal ones and it built from there.

Here's the thing. Almost everyone feels like you. Almost everyone is afraid to approach other people and they're afraid of what will happen. Most of this is just a matter of practice. You really have to force yourself to approach people and not give a fuck. I was a very shy child with a close group of friends so I never had to ring doorbells to get other kids to play with me. But if people didn't come to me, I'd stay home with hurt feelings. I'm still that way if I don't recognize it and stop it. I appear to be very outgoing so people never dream that they need to approach me and I get upset when they don't, and I stew about it, and I assume they have a bad motive, and I know it's all in my head but I can't help myself once that train starts running down the tracks. But it's all in my head. Other people are too busy worrying about their own manic stuff to worry about whether I'm okay. I learned that from Buffy.

I don't why I type all this shit. I'm very tired. Don't mind me.

that's really exactly right, actually. that "would you mind moving?" thing oh god, i felt bad just imagining it. it's like "oh boy, maybe these people will be my fri...oh...don't they know how rude that is?"

only no, they don't, because it's not, it's me making too much out of it.

this law school's not too bad on the mindgames front, it's a pretty cooperative environment. it's fairly progressive and they try to stress the whole teamwork element. there are three large classes (about 70 people each, which i hate) and one small one (13 people, which i like). i lucked out, my group gets along pretty well, and that's where i shine when i do shine. in that small class, we regularly get group assignments, where either it's all 13 of us working together or we break up into smaller groups of about 3-4. so we really can't afford to be getting into each others' heads (which i've read about students and professors doing in other law schools).

except for one guy, who's an unconscionable ball-breaker. i don't even know if he knows he is. he's the token 40-year old and he seems to have taken it upon himself to be the only reasonable adult in the group, or so he thinks. we have to work together all year, my guess is he'll break me at some point, it's pretty inevitable at this rate. he'll break somebody, anyway. probably me, i'm fragile. that'll be awkward.

but for the most part, the group gets along really well, which is lucky, considering we were randomly tossed together. we had a social event where i got drunk and acted like a human, which i thought would fix everything, but it didn't, exactly.

you're right though, i just gotta force myself to approach people more. they'll be responsive, i know they will, i just gotta do it. but i don't! :confused:

that's the part where i want the drugs, i guess.

hellojello

10-17-2006, 11:17 PM

QueenAdrock

10-17-2006, 11:19 PM

i dunno, i just need a friend, or a drink, or a hug, or a blowjob or something, i swear

I'll be your friend! And I can outsource the blowjob thing to one of my wicked slutty friends.

Bob

10-17-2006, 11:19 PM

yeah i'm probably just kidding about the drugs. hopefully. but maybe they'd be nice. or not? i don't know!

for the most part i'm just shy and withdrawn, but at my worst, i do get irritable and childish. like really selfish, like i just forget that i'm supposed to be a grown-up acting in civilized society, and that everyone's lives don't revolve around suiting my needs, that they have their own. and i get pissed off that nobody's revolving around me and i act like an eight year old or something.

i actually fell out with my old friends from college like that. over mosquitoes and moths, actually, but that's another story. doesn't matter, i probably wouldn't be seeing them very often any more anyway.

i don't get violent or anything, but i just flip out and act immature and it sort of puts me into social death. it doesn't happen often but i'm really feeling like it's coming up again. someone's gonna set it off. probably the old guy.

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 11:22 PM

QueenAdrock

10-17-2006, 11:24 PM

what drugs are u talking about because the only drugs I know that one can get for social anxiety/phobia is valium and or xanax and other barbituates the drugs that take away ones personality so to speak are the anti psychotics which you would not get prescribed for an anxiety disorder
but then again in american it seems you can get drugs for virtually anything the pharmacutical companies being so powerful and all.

I take Zoloft for my generalized anxiety, and it helps with my depression. It doesn't take away my personality at all, it just kinda smooths over the crazy bumps and stabilizes me. Not sure if it's good for social anxiety or not, because I'm not sure if that's considered an actual physical anxiety. You know, where the feelings of "I'm going to die" pop up when you're in social situations or whatnot. And the heart palpitations and the sweating and the shortness of breath. If it is, Zoloft is really great for dealing with that. I seriously wouldn't be able to go out to eat again if I hadn't been put on it.

hitmonlee

10-17-2006, 11:25 PM

Other people are too busy worrying about their own manic stuff to worry about whether I'm okay. I learned that from Buffy.

<3

such a good episode

hellojello

10-17-2006, 11:26 PM

I take Zoloft for my generalized anxiety, and it helps with my depression. It doesn't take away my personality at all, it just kinda smooths over the crazy bumps and stabilizes me. Not sure if it's good for social anxiety or not, because I'm not sure if that's considered an actual physical anxiety. You know, where the feelings of "I'm going to die" pop up when you're in social situations or whatnot. And the heart palpitations and the sweating and the shortness of breath. If it is, Zoloft is really great for dealing with that. I seriously wouldn't be able to go out to eat again if I hadn't been put on it.
Good point I tend I forget many of the anti-d's are also effective for controlling anxiety. I'm glad it helps for you.

Bob

10-17-2006, 11:30 PM

<3

such a good episode

buffy or no, it's a nice quote. seems like a good thing to keep to heart

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:32 PM

for the most part i'm just shy and withdrawn, but at my worst, i do get irritable and childish. like really selfish, like i just forget that i'm supposed to be a grown-up acting in civilized society, and that everyone's lives don't revolve around suiting my needs, that they have their own. and i get pissed off that nobody's revolving around me and i act like an eight year old or something.

i actually fell out with my old friends from college like that. over mosquitoes and moths, actually, but that's another story. doesn't matter, i probably wouldn't be seeing them very often any more anyway.

i don't get violent or anything, but i just flip out and act immature and it sort of puts me into social death. it doesn't happen often but i'm really feeling like it's coming up again. someone's gonna set it off. probably the old guy.

That is me right down to the ground. I'm lucky because I'm old and I've found a group of people who love me and get me and are willing to put up with me and even find me amusing. But I can't tell you how many gatherings I've ruined by starting on some little thing that I dwell on but no one else notices and then I finally burst out with it in a barbed way that's so out of proportion that everyone else thinks I'm insane. I can be at someone's house having a fabulous time all night long, and then when there are about five people mingling at the end, I'll come out with the acid. And I try to apologize or explain but it's just impossible because I know that I've ruined the whole night. I can be on my game for hours and then spoil it all in a few seconds.

A few of my scenes are legendary because they are over such stupid shit, like having to watch 15 minutes of Dawson's Creek or a friend being late because she went to a bra sale.

On the other hand, if your dog was in intensive care, I'd sit up at the emergency vet with you all night. I have positive attributes, I really do.

(I am the baby of my family by a long shot, and my scenes probably stem from me ending every holiday of my childhood storming off to my room in tears because my brothers teamed up to bankrupt me at Monopoly.)

tracky

10-17-2006, 11:32 PM

I feel ya bro

It's so easy to sit here and hand out cushy sounding advice, but it really is true that life is what you make of it. If you think everyone hates you then you tend to percieve things that way. There are some really annoying people who think everyone loves them, and they go through life believing that, know what i mean?

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:35 PM

<3

such a good episode
I'm so glad you got that. :) That's what was so great about that show. It would touch you when you least expected it.

Lyman Zerga

10-17-2006, 11:35 PM

old news but im so shy that im not leaving home anymore
wasnt outside alone in 9 years

getting meds soon (this time for real!)

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:37 PM

Zorra, I appreciate what you're saying, and it's very moving to me. The drugs were clearly the right choice for you and I assume that you're seeing a doctor regularly to make sure they keep working for you. I've known a few people who were helped by drugs, but I've also known some people who were really helped by having someone to talk to without drugs. It has to do with the quality of the doctor and whether the doctor helps you find what's right for you.

I'm nervous that some of my friends took the drugs INSTEAD of dealing with the core issues. The core issues are still there and they're being ignored. I also know that one of my family members would likely be dead if she didn't go on the meds, but the truth is that now she's a zombie. I would never want to live like that. I wish I could trust that she is getting the best care because I don't think you're supposed to be on her kind of medication for years at a time.

I also worry about starting a record of taking psychiatric drugs when you want to be an attorney. There are definitely attorneys on them, but I don't believe that any of our medical data is truly private. I don't even tell the complete truth to my medical doctors because I don't want personal information in my file.

Bob

10-17-2006, 11:42 PM

That is me right down to the ground. I'm lucky because I'm old and I've found a group of people who love me and get me and are willing to put up with me and even find me amusing. But I can't tell you how many gatherings I've ruined by starting on some little thing that I dwell on but no one else notices and then I finally burst out with it in a barbed way that's so out of proportion that everyone else thinks I'm insane. I can be at someone's house having a fabulous time all night long, and then when there are about five people mingling at the end, I'll come out with the acid. And I try to apologize or explain but it's just impossible because I know that I've ruined the whole night. I can be on my game for hours and then spoil it all in a few seconds.

A few of my scenes are legendary because they are over such stupid shit, like having to watch 15 minutes of Dawson's Creek or a friend being late because she went to a bra sale.

On the other hand, if your dog was in intensive care, I'd sit up at the emergency vet with you all night. I have positive attributes, I really do.

yeah, uch, it's embarassing to think about. what happened was, it was a 4-day weekend at cape cod, and we'd sit outside on the porch at night and play drinking games. cool, fun, except hang on, cape cod has lots of mosquitoes. i hate mosquitoes. and here we are, the brightest light in a good long visible radius, sitting outside in shorts, obviously we're going to attract the attention of bugs.

i really don't like bugs. this is a separate problem from my social problems, i don't know what it stems from, i don't really care, i just don't like bugs. but i put up with it for the most part.

the last day though, i'd just had enough. we were outside again, and sure enough, the bugs were out in force, and i was getting irritated. someone else complained about the bugs, so i suggested (i believe, fairly innocently) that maybe we should go inside where the bugs won't eat us. but my friend, who's just generally jerkish, he doesn't mean anything by it, says "uh, this is cape cod, that's not what we do. you can go inside if they're bothering you"

as much as i hate bugs, i'd rather not sit alone inside. that pissed me off, i took it as an insult, but i bit my tongue. anyway we're playing asshole (a drinking game with cards, it's fun, i like it), and i forget to follow some rule that nobody ever follows and i'd never heard of and my jerk friend goes "you moron, you're supposed to drink when you do that" and that was that, i just snapped. then he called me a baby about being afraid of the bugs (i'm not afraid of them, i hate them, for the record) and that was just like, the salt on the wounds of the camel that got its back broken by a straw, i was 8 again, i was raging, and none of them have talked to me since.

to be fair though, he was being a jerk. i think it's really unfair of everyone to just look at me like i'm the bad guy there.

anyway those were my last friends. it was probably the last time i was ever going to see them again anyways, for better or for worse, so it doesn't really matter, but still. shame to lose them over something dumb.

i'm thinking of turning this thread into a livejournal, what do you guys think?

edit: oh! i forgot the most annoying part of the story. my jerk friend, he goes "dude what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you acting like such a baby?" and i realize, yeah alright, i'm acting childish, let's just be responsible and come clean.

and i say "look, you called me a moron and i didn't like that, ok?"

and he says "bob...you ARE a moron, haha"

i think i muttered out "real fucking classy" and just stopped talking after that.

zorra_chiflada

10-17-2006, 11:44 PM

i'm thinking of turning this thread into a livejournal, what do you guys think?

oooooh do it do it do it, i have a live journal. it's almost therapuetic

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:44 PM

old news but im so shy that im not leaving home anymore
wasnt outside alone in 9 years

getting meds soon (this time for real!)
I want to make it clear that I wasn't responding to you. I type too much and I'm slow at it so your post slipped in there.

I'm so glad that you're facing your problem. I was very shy for most of my life, but I can't imagine what that would be like. My mom rarely left home alone and it was painful for her. It sounds like the right medication could really help you.

Lyman Zerga

10-17-2006, 11:49 PM

yeah i have a massive social phobia, no not a normal one a massive one!
thats what the doc told me

kate

10-17-2006, 11:49 PM

yeah but how are you gonna get to the doctor's office to get those meds!

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:50 PM

edit: oh! i forgot the most annoying part of the story. my jerk friend, he goes "dude what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you acting like such a baby?" and i realize, yeah alright, i'm acting childish, let's just be responsible and come clean.

and i say "look, you called me a moron and i didn't like that, ok?"

and he says "bob...you ARE a moron, haha"

i think i muttered out "real fucking classy" and just stopped talking after that.
Yeah, there's nothing that bothers me more after one of my tantrums than being laughed at. And you didn't take the out he handed you (and laughed at yourself) because you sulked instead. Exactly how I would have played it. :o

Documad

10-17-2006, 11:55 PM

yeah i have a massive social phobia, no not a normal one a massive one!
thats what the doc told me
From where I sit, that's so difficult to understand, because you have such a lovely personality on this message board. You seem like someone who would get along well with people in "real" life. I guess that's why it's so difficult to understand phobias -- and it's great that you have a doctor who does understand.

Bob

10-17-2006, 11:57 PM

Yeah, there's nothing that bothers me more after one of my tantrums than being laughed at. And you didn't take the out he handed you (and laughed at yourself) because you sulked instead. Exactly how I would have played it. :o

i don't know if he was really handing me an out though, i was really acting uncharacteristically irritable (how i'd managed to keep it under wraps for all the time i knew them, i'll never know). like i was looking around the table for support, but everyone i looked at just kind of looked away uncomfortably, like i was the bad guy, so surely, he could tell that i wasn't joking.

if anything, i gave him an out, but he just smacked it down and made me look bad.

and i walked away the bad guy! fully! not even a "hey, maybe you should take it easy, jerk-friend" from one of my other friends, it's like he was acting fully reasonably and i was just coming completely out of nowhere. you know thinking back, it still gets my goat, geez. that one totally wasn't all my fault

Kid Presentable

10-17-2006, 11:59 PM

Bob, you seem like a funny dude, and your personality shines through.

Documad

10-18-2006, 12:06 AM

Kid Presentable

10-18-2006, 12:08 AM

Maybe I've got it wrong, but do guys stand up for other guys when there's an emotional issue involved? I can't imagine that happening. Your only hope when you lose your shit is to pretend that you can laugh at yourself about it. It doesn't matter who was right and who was wrong. There was drinking involved. The one who appears to be overreacting is always the loser.
I found little to no empathy with many guys over the course of my varying incapabilities. Now, I keep maybe one friend (and even then, at arms' length) and dedicate myself to sorting out my own problems.

Lyman Zerga

10-18-2006, 12:14 AM

From where I sit, that's so difficult to understand, because you have such a lovely personality on this message board. You seem like someone who would get along well with people in "real" life. I guess that's why it's so difficult to understand phobias -- and it's great that you have a doctor who does understand.

awwwies thanks :)

for not reading my posts :mad:

JK!

you know those years where my parents were so ashamed of me cause they thought i was just too lazy to work were the plain hell
i tried to explain why i cant go outside for like plenty times but they couldnt understand me cause i didnt really understand my problem aswell
years later i found by coincidence stuff about social phobia on the net
it was like heaven on earth, to have a name for my problem and before i didnt even know that i had a illness

dont know about america but here you like never see anything about social phobia anywhere which is a shame since 16% of austrians have it

some fight it aka get more self esteem, some kill that problem with alchohol and some kill themselves cause so many dont know what they have

Lyman Zerga

10-18-2006, 12:16 AM

Bob, you seem like a funny dude, and your personality shines through.

bob is the motherfucking king of my motherfucking castle

Dorothy Wood

10-18-2006, 12:26 AM

at the party we had last saturday, I was so nervous about it that I gave myself a stomach ache. People started showing up about an hour before I expected and I kind of flipped out because I didn't know most of them. I said to my other roommate, "I'm gonna go lay down." I went in my room and laid in my bed for over a half hour in the dark and tried a little to meditate. not like, "ohm", but kind of just focusing on nothing, trying to calm myself down. or saying to myself, "they're just people!"

I didn't come out until I heard some of my favorite friends' voices and feet stomping down the hall. then I was all, "oh hey, I was just taking a nap, ha haaa". when I was actually on the verge of an anxiety attack. and I didn't really relax until I had a few drinks and got handed a blunt. even then, I kind of said some weird awkward things, but my friends just kind of laughed at me because they've known me long enough to find my oddness charming...or in other situations, they've called me a "fucking retard" enough for it to not mean anything anymore.

although usually I find it easier these days to just tell people that I have anxiety problems. this one dorky creepy guy came up to cort and me after buying us some drinks and I was literally shaking and could barely look at him. he was like, "what's wrong with you?" and I said, "I'm afraid of strangers, I have problems with anxiety". and he laughed, but really, I was stricken with irrational fear. but after that I somehow felt better, just saying it out loud.

I've taken xanax a couple of times recreationally and I bet it would help me because it made me feel pretty normal. however, just getting older has helped me a lot. I'm way more outgoing now than I was even 2 years ago. I still have that terror inside, but I can squash it down a bit more easily.

jesus, we're all a bunch of peas in a pod. :o

tracky

10-18-2006, 12:55 AM

no doubt if we were all a bit more social this place would be deserted

monkey

10-18-2006, 01:00 AM

do you really wanna go on antidepressants? your penis will stop working.

eh. i have panic attacks when i have to "deal" with certain things, one of them being people that knew me before i was "crazy". taking controlled substances such as anti anxiety and anti depressants made it worse. there's people here that know more about these things, but all i know is that for me, drugs were the answer to stop myself from killing myself but it also turned me into a person i didnt like. so, be really careful with what you ask for.

Nivvie

10-18-2006, 05:35 AM

Any medical professional worth their salt will try other avenues before medicating you, I wouldn't trust anyone that immediately hands out a prescription.

I'm not sure about the US, but usually you should see your normal doc first and get referred, as you many not need a psychiatrist. It's amazing what counselling/alternative therapies can do, and for many people, it can eliminate the need for medication. For some it cannot, but it should be seen as a last resort, as the sad thing is, over time most will become accustomed to their meds, and they will have to be upped throughout their life.

I have worked with patients on scary dosage amounts (some have been on various meds for over 50 years), and there's no going back for them. If it's possible for you to not set foot on that path, it's very advisable.

There are also medically recognised alternative therapies such as acupuncture that doctors I work with prescribe, sometimes for patients with very severe mental problems, so it's not all to be scoffed at.

St John's Wort is readily available and in many countries prescribed by doctors first, so that's worth a try also.

Bob

10-18-2006, 06:50 AM

no doubt if we were all a bit more social this place would be deserted

haha...i think you're on to something. maybe it's no coincidence that a bunch of socially awkward people frequent a message board :(

anyway, thanks alot for all the words, guys. i do feel much better now.

of course i usually feel ok in the morning, it's when i go to school and i have to start dealing with people that i break down, so maybe you didn't help at all, but for the moment i'm going to thank you all

zorra_chiflada

10-18-2006, 06:53 AM

bob, if you need someone to talk to or vent to, aim me or msn me. i'm usually on the computer all the damn time and like internet people better than real life people.

fucktopgirl

10-18-2006, 07:13 AM

Every human suffer from anxiety/social phobia at one point. IT human nature, you can deal with it with drugs or understanding the fear that submerge you and fight it.

I suffer from some sort of anxiety too , it is mainly applicable in repete situation. Example: going to school /works 5 days a weeks /9 hours a day, that kinda trow me off. I just hate it when i cannot decide what to do with my time and be free on my own. My freedom of action is very important and i dont want to give all my life/time to others. Seing the same people everyday, at the same place, same context. I just hate that usually. So basically my anxiety is du to the same situation repeting themselves over and over, i feel like i am in a trap. So often(some days) in thoses situations i can be uncomfortable with the people i am interacting with and be full of anguish because i just dont want to be there. I can travel in others countries and be perfectly find and happy . I hate the "routine" , i think it is boring and killed a little bit of our essence everyday. That why, i try to make my own schedule while being able to fit a bit in this society .

Anyway, with years this kinda phobia/anxiety did calm down by itself, you become able to take the guide of the wild beast and are able to control more your emotions . One things too , is that if you reinforced the feeling by saying that it is what you are(unfit socially, crazy..) well you will just encourage it. So a good trick is to not put some much attention on this little bobo and it will automaticaly diminished. More you put energy onto something(bad or good) it will usually upgrade in strengh.

We all have to deal with some sort of social weakness, everybody do , you can decided to numb it or face it. Usually, with time and courage, it will resolved itself and dissipated. It all depend on you, how you decide to deal with it.

FEAR is the problem mainly...fear of rejection, of looking like a fool, of not knowing what to say, how to act. FEAR of not being at the top of your game.
FEAR is something encourage a lot in our society, i mean just check the news and shit. ONce you acknowledge the fear then you can work with it, anyway what the fuck is there to be afraid about. NObody will eat you, kill you or sodomised you.

alleluia!

Waus

10-18-2006, 07:51 AM

Geez. Does everyone on this board have at least mild social anxiety?

We should have a get together to overcome that! No...no, nevermind. :(

Bob

10-18-2006, 07:55 AM

Geez. Does everyone on this board have at least mild social anxiety?

We should have a get together to overcome that! No...no, nevermind. :(

will people be there? i dunno...

Daisy

10-18-2006, 09:09 AM

Therapy coupled with drugs is your best bet to learn to NOT need the drugs.

::gives Bob and the entire group a big old hug::

Bob

10-19-2006, 06:57 PM

Therapy coupled with drugs is your best bet to learn to NOT need the drugs.

::gives Bob and the entire group a big old hug::

look who came back just to be supportive! thanks :o

i am so fucking up and down, now, jesus. yesterday went ok. posting this thread was a good idea, it really almost acted like a sort of group therapy thing. so i had a much more positive mindset, and it showed, i acted much more like a human being.

today though, today was just bizarre. it started off really well, i was as charming as i've ever been. a girl in my small class even said "have i ever told you how glad i am you exist?". don't read too much into that out of context, but i was personable, damnit.

then it's just like, i ran out of steam. it's like, being sociable takes so much energy out of me, and i just fucking ran out and i came as close to cracking as i've come yet. really embarassing stuff. i was in the small class, i just straight up pussied out of participating in any kind of group discussion. part of the class was having a debate, i just didn't say anything. there was a part where i was supposed to say something but i just choked, i couldn't speak up. i went back into that whole feeling like i'm isolated, feeling like i'm on the fringe of the group thing. of course i do it to myself, and i realized that, it but it doesn't matter. it's like, i'm depressed because i don't have any friends and i have no friends because i'm depressed (which makes me creepy and unapproachable).

i woke up in the best mood today, too

i think the content of my day had something to do with it, though. 9 consecutive hours of law school (starting at 6 AM after 4 hours of sleep doesn't help, especially when the first activity of the day is a fucking exam, which i think i did ok on, but still) is a real drain, and like i said, it's taking a lot of energy for me to stay human right now. unlucky, i guess.

i was doing so well, too! you know what though, i'm not even fully convinced anybody noticed. like buffy (apparently) said, everyone's too manic themselves to notice your problems. i'll be ok, i think.

TimDoolan

10-19-2006, 07:18 PM

because i think i have it and i want drugs because i don't seem to be sorting it out on my own very well

or maybe i'm just shy or a hypochondriac or something but either way, i could really go for some drugs or at least a doctor's note or something

details available upon request but i don't wanna whine if nobody wants to hear it

You're cool man you don't need that shit

zorra_chiflada

10-19-2006, 07:42 PM

bob doesn't want to talk to me :mad: :(

Daisy

10-19-2006, 07:43 PM

look who came back just to be supportive! thanks :o

I always liked you dude.

Do what you gotta do to feel better. :)

Bob

10-19-2006, 07:44 PM

I just go see Al Keehall and he does all the work for me.

oh i'm drunk right now, i feel great

zorra i will totally talk to you, don't take it so personally, are you crazy or something?

zorra_chiflada

10-19-2006, 07:46 PM

oh i'm drunk right now, i feel great

zorra i will totally talk to you, don't take it so personally, are you crazy or something?

then start talking fool before i start cutting off babies heads and eating them

Documad

10-19-2006, 07:54 PM

I've been thinking. I got the Buffy quote wrong. She tells Jonathan that her sometimes her life happens to "suck beyond the telling of it" and that she and everyone else at school is ignoring his pain because they're too busy with their own.

I should point out that while I went through much self doubt in my early 20s, I overcame it. Like a few people said, it's partly about age. I think it's also partly about experience. It's partly about realizing that life's too short to worry so much when other people don't give a shit. I now do all kinds of crazy outgoing things, like public speaking and campaigning for candidates and twisting people's arms to make them do things and traveling by myself.

I also think I should point out that many shy people are very successful later in life. I think they observe and understand other people better than naturally outgoing people, and that can be a real asset. I am always catching some vibe that others miss.

Bob, some girl told you that she's glad you exist? Why aren't you close to her? You're clearly doing something right.

Bob

10-19-2006, 08:36 PM

Bob, some girl told you that she's glad you exist? Why aren't you close to her? You're clearly doing something right.

well i'll tell you the context

we were having a group discussion about civil procdure, the row that we all sat in was on call that day (as in, he'd randomly call on us to answer questions, he does it one row per day), so we were trying to prepare. and more than a few times, she'd ask a question that nobody but myself would hear, so it'd be like

her: so, can i ask a question about rule-

someone else: so what i'm confused about it is yadda yadda

me (to her): nope

her: have i ever told you how glad i am that you exist? well i'm telling you now

i dunno, she likes to laugh and i'm pretty funny when i wanna be. it's totally a "you are one of the many people whose company i appreciate" kind of deal but to me, someone of the opposite sex enjoying me makes me feel funny and i'm a jealous kinda guy so its weird, but that's 100% my issues, there

Bob

10-19-2006, 08:38 PM

oh! also, she's one of the people in my small class, and we have to work together all year. it would essentially be like dating a co-worker, even if she were up for it, it would be a horrible horrible idea

Bob

10-19-2006, 08:39 PM

oh! also, i'm drunk, so if any of my sentences don't make any sense, i choose to blame it on that

HEIRESS

10-19-2006, 10:35 PM

was this posted yet?

Im not checking either way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo7Sng5Jeb0

Dorothy Wood

10-19-2006, 11:20 PM

that kid is handsome as fuck.

HEIRESS

10-19-2006, 11:23 PM

He's total prrrrrrrrr

cosmo105

10-19-2006, 11:23 PM

Shit, maybe I should drink right now...but I'd just be sitting around doing nothing. Kind of a waste when I can just drink the almost full bottle of Jager tomorrow night and be out with friends. Hmm...
totally, man. drinking is so cool.

oh bob. your most precious qualities are your downfall.

Bob

10-19-2006, 11:40 PM

oh bob. your most precious qualities are your downfall.

say more, i need to know more

Daisy

10-20-2006, 06:54 AM

was this posted yet?

Im not checking either way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo7Sng5Jeb0

I don't know if he is still involved with this site but the webmaster at Foo and a few other sites that I still work on was involved in that Paxil back project.

Just saying...he is very talented.

Edit note...his username was dromedary.

Bob

10-22-2006, 03:02 AM

say more, i need to know more

i hate to be an attention whore but i really would like to know more

Tzar

10-22-2006, 04:05 AM

M.C. Guevera

10-22-2006, 09:27 AM

Wow, I thought I was the only one on the board who is like this. I'm so terrible at making conversation that I can't even think of stuff to say when I'm online. I have about 64 people on my buddy list, and I talk to about 2 or 3 because I don't know what to say to the rest.

I moved from New York to Miami in 2004. It's 2006 and the only friend I have is my old friend from New York who also moved. I was lucky there because I suck at making friends. And I want to make more friends down here in Miami but I have difficulty doing so because I get all nervous, and all fearful that people won't want to hang out with me, or be disgusted by me, or worst, want to bully me (I'm short and I have a high pitched voice; bad combination).

I still kick myself in the ass over two people who I would have loved to be friends with, but didn't because my anxiety took over me. When I was going to night school in the fall of 2004, there were these two people in my class who I wanted to hang out with: this guy who looked like MCA and this hot Cuban girl who also worked as a flight attendant. I always wanted to say something to them but I never did. I was always afraid that the Yauch look-alike guy would kick my ass. And I'm always a nervous wreck around girls. I haven't seen either of them since I left the school in 2005. There was also this metalhead guy that I talked to alot and we always hung out in the school, but before we could hang out *outside* the school, he left, and I never saw him again.

Man, sometimes I wonder if my life would be slightly better if I wasn't afraid and actually talked to them.

HotAndWet

10-22-2006, 03:44 PM

I hate being at parties where I don't know people. The other night when I went to a party I couldn't drink because I'm taking antibiotics right now which makes it worse because alcohol does loosen me up, plus I had my period. So the guy I'm kinda dating kept asking me "what's wrong" and "why do you look sad?" and I just kind of scowled until I left. Long story short, I'm pretty sure he's turned off by me now.

tracky

10-23-2006, 12:16 AM

I went to the doctors today. You should go too, bob. Just be honest. She's given me some stuff to take. I basically had a breakdown this morning, but I'm feeling fine now. She prescribed some valium for the immediate relief, and she's also given me some cipramil, but that takes a few weeks to take effect. I hope in a few months time I can be normal again.

How weird's this - my mum was at the doctors office too. Totally unrelated she had her own appointment. But yeah so she found out that I'm depressed and shit. Which was probably a good thing.

hellojello

10-23-2006, 12:34 AM

hey tracky sorry to hear about your troubles man
just a tip for you if you research anti d's I think you'll find there's a brand called 'lexapro' which is pretty much the same as cipramil just a newer and more improved version of it, ie less side affects.
If i was you i'd go back and ask for a script of lexapro.
but whatever, goodluck hope you're feeling better soon :) (y)

mikizee

10-23-2006, 12:46 AM

i was on cipramil for a while. that shit was good for awhile, then i realised that whether i was having sex or some solo action, i just could. not. blow. no matter how hard i tried, it was impossible. so i ditched em.

tracky

10-23-2006, 12:48 AM

she did tell me about the side effects

she didn't mention that one miki :eek:

oh well not like i have sex anyway. i can go without for a while longer.

mikizee

10-23-2006, 12:50 AM

can i get some val's off ya? ive always wanted to try that.

hellojello

10-23-2006, 01:39 AM

can i get some val's off ya? ive always wanted to try that.
xanax kicks valiums ass

hellojello

10-23-2006, 01:40 AM

she did tell me about the side effects

she didn't mention that one miki :eek:

oh well not like i have sex anyway. i can go without for a while longer.
a while ? you're meant to be on that shit 6 months minnimum for it to be effective.

hellojello

10-23-2006, 01:41 AM

yeah im gay
its true

tracky

10-23-2006, 01:49 AM

can i get some val's off ya? ive always wanted to try that.

i'm limited to 3 a day, physically. I have to go to the chemist to pick them up. If I stop feeling the need for it tho, I'll let you know.

tracky

10-23-2006, 01:52 AM

a while ? you're meant to be on that shit 6 months minnimum for it to be effective.

doc's telling me 6 weeks, but maybe that's just the initial time for it to really kick in. I dunno. 5 repeats and there's 4 weeks in a box, so 20 weeks. Yeah that's a fair while :eek: We'll see how I go. I might be able to stop them earlier.

hellojello

10-23-2006, 02:01 AM

6 weeks is how long they take to kick in apparently but yeah if you go off them as soon as you start to feel better you can plunge back down deeper than you were before which is why they reccommend 6 months minimum. So just be aware of that if you decide to stop taking them. But then again it might not necessarily happen its just a risk apparently.

One more thing - valium is a barbituate which are known for being really addictive so be careful of how many your taking and for how long because they're hell hard to come off and can actually induce the problems that started you on them in the first place during the withdrawal process.

Goodluck with it. Try and remember to take them everyday cause if you dont they can really mess with u.
Go spoil yourself you quit pot - why not buy yourself a new cd or dvd or an awesome meal for dinner.

tracky

10-23-2006, 02:27 AM

I'm almost broke :( Got an appointment wednesday to finalise my new work contract so hopefully that will alleviate some of the pressure

I think that's the reason she's limited me to 3 a day, knowing that I have a very addictive personality

mikizee

10-23-2006, 04:08 AM

i have a very addictive personality too. maybe thats the reason why i went doctor shopping when i had a broken jaw and stocked up on wicked painkillers like endone. ive always wanted to try xanax or valium, i might ask my old lady, she worked in a chemist for 20 odd years and our medicine cabinet was the bomb!!!! she's a big pill popper so im sure shes got some laying around.

or i could just see my old doc again and tell him that im depressed and always anxious, which isnt entirely untrue. last time i saw him it took a grand total of 6 mins for him to prescribe me cipramil.

im a bad, bad man.

tracky

10-23-2006, 04:20 AM

It's not that great. Maybe if you did a few at once it would be better, I dunno. I did a heap of acid and ice on the weekend and that's pretty much what triggered all this shit. I had a great time, but everything that goes up must come down. I haven't done acid in years, literally, and ice was the first time. The val has definately taken the edge off. Wish I had it yesterday. I swear, I will never do acid again. No really, this time I mean it. And the ice was always just gonna be a once off thing. I honestly don't even feel the need to do it again.

tracky

10-23-2006, 04:23 AM

ugh... testing? my post is there but not there :confused: Boards' been a bit screwy lately hey

mikizee

10-23-2006, 04:23 AM

yeah man i was wondering the same thing

weird

post it again

tracky

10-23-2006, 04:24 AM

It's not a bad post to be hidden. Just click reply and it's in the thread below the reply box.

Nivvie

10-23-2006, 04:25 AM

Yesterday a thirty year old came though the doors who has been on meds for about 10 years, and now she is becoming quite incontinent, due to an accumulated side-effect. She's lucky really, as it could have happened much earlier.
She's in a major panic as she can't cope without them, but the onslaught of incontinence isn't exactly helping her mental problems.

tracky

10-23-2006, 04:27 AM

I think I'm gonna get off valium asap, I don't wanna become dependant on another drug. I mean it's cheaper and legal, but it's still a crutch

Nivvie

10-23-2006, 04:27 AM

you don't need shit, bob
get a job where you deal with customers... or not.

i ain't as nervous and... cautious introducing myself to people or talking to a crowd now before i worked at coles. sounds sad, but hey, it's true.

This has a lot of truth in it. There's nothing like working with people to either kill or cure you.
Before I started nursing I used to freeze up and mis-hear things all the time as I was so concerned about being put on the spot.

beastieangel01

10-23-2006, 10:09 AM

yeah being in law school and a job don't really coincide too well.

Bob, sorry to hear you are having this going on. You are a really cool guy. I say if you can, definitely talk to a professional about this. It'll be helpful.

tracky

10-23-2006, 06:56 PM

I feel fucking great

almost a little too great :eek:

mikizee

10-24-2006, 12:13 AM

yeah when the cipramil first kicks in its a bit like having speed, that effect winds down after a week or so, then u just feel normal. any side effects yet? (you know what im talking about)

Justin

10-24-2006, 12:24 AM

I have days where i wanna be around lots of people and party and then I have days when I just wanna sit around and play video games and not go outside.

Im weird

I guess it could help if i started to like people more, but for the most part, they are a pain in the ass

tracky

10-24-2006, 02:26 AM

yeah when the cipramil first kicks in its a bit like having speed, that effect winds down after a week or so, then u just feel normal. any side effects yet? (you know what im talking about)

haha. let me get back to you in 10 minutes

j/k

i dunno havn't tried. so maybe that's a side effect in itself

guerillaGardner

10-24-2006, 06:58 AM

which doesn't turn out well. it's like, i make it so that people have to make an effort to like me, which isn't really reasonable to expect most people to do, so they end up thinking i don't like them, and i end up thinking they don't like me, and it's just weird.

I'm a bit socially anxious but generally it's not too much of a problem as even if I wasn't I wouldn't really want most other people complicating my life by having to interact and put up with them anyway.

But a half remembered quote from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones comes to mind - somewhere along the lines that one of the objects of Zen is to learn to behave when alone as though in company and to behave when in company as though alone.

I liked that a lot.

I find the best way to get around social anxiety is to ask people about themselves and show an interest in what they are saying. People love talking about themselves and they love it when people listen (or in my case when they appear to :D ) The emphasis is switched from you to them and they think you're a great person for it.

Also, social anxiety is much less if you socialise in settings where you feel relaxed. I hate being in a situation where conversation is required - e.g., a bunch of people sitting in a room looking at each other with no distractions.

It's also best to have a focus other than your interaction - a movie, a game, an activity, a camp fire in the forest.

Try to take control of the setting for your socialisation. If you are in there first making suggestions people will most likely go along with what you suggest.

If you leave it to others then it increases the chances that you will end up in settings where you feel most uncomfortable - a noisy bar or a situation where you feel your movement is limited and you are pushed too close to others.

You will feel more relaxed if you have a setting with space where you can take a step back and get the distance you require as you require it, allowing you to step in and out of social interaction as you feel comfortable.

The easiest thing to do should be to admit to people that you have a social anxiety, but it's hard as hell to do and I still haven't done it, but I get the feeling that most folk around me have already guessed. :) I'm not the quiet distant, social anxiety type - I'm the pointless, babbling type.

Bob

10-24-2006, 02:30 PM

The easiest thing to do should be to admit to people that you have a social anxiety, but it's hard as hell to do and I still haven't done it, but I get the feeling that most folk around me have already guessed. :) I'm not the quiet distant, social anxiety type - I'm the pointless, babbling type.

see i'm not so sure about that. i can't help but think that people don't want to hear about it, you know? like they've all got their own problems, the LAST thing they need to hear is some random acquaintence start whining and pouring his heart out. they don't care, i can't blame them, it would just be awkward for everyone involved.

i liked the rest of your advice though. i don't really have too much control over my settings though. it's usually just class and various other law school stuff.

i dunno, i go up and down. up and down. usually in that order, in the course of a day

checkyourprez

10-24-2006, 02:45 PM

this kinda goes along with this...

my buddy was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and got a perscription to lithuim...

anybody ever done those? (anybody who was not prescribed it preferably)

steve-onpoint

10-24-2006, 03:09 PM

drugs fucking suck. i've seen too many friends/fam f'd up by 'em... i'm talkin' prescribed meds, too. but if you can keep yourself from becoming dependent on them, they might help.

Big Gus

10-24-2006, 03:32 PM

My girlfriend has social interaction/self perception/depressed feeling problems, they changed her drugs recently she went from some fluoxetin stuff which, once I looked into it, was basically prozac to these things that mess with her serotnin levels and seem to me to be clinical E's.

She's seemed really fucking happy recently - no wonder. I'll need to check out the correct name for y'all.

Bob

10-24-2006, 03:36 PM

drugs fucking suck. i've seen too many friends/fam f'd up by 'em... i'm talkin' prescribed meds, too. but if you can keep yourself from becoming dependent on them, they might help.

i'd probably get addicted. for the longest time i used to take nyquil to help me sleep fairly regularly, even if i wasn't sick. i don't do it anymore, but the point is i like drugs that make me feel good, even however slightly

beastiegirrl101

10-24-2006, 03:44 PM

I used to freak out and pass out in church all the time in grade school. But it was weird because I only had these epidoses in church (went to catholic school up until my senior year in high school so church was a weekly thing) so my teachers / parents sent me to all these docs because they thought I was having panic attacks and it turned out that I was just hypoglycmic (sp?)(low blood sugar) and it just so happened to be that time of day that my body shut down if I wasnt eating. So...I'm not satan's child AND I got a doctors note to eat in class 6 times a day. WOO HOO!

this sorta related Bob when I was writing, but not so much anymore.

I do freak out when I'm alone in big spaces with lots of people, i.e. malls, concerts, airports...

tracky

10-24-2006, 07:51 PM

I didn't take my valium this morning and I feel fine. I have them with me in case I start to get sketchy. But yeah, I'm trying very hard not to get addicted to them

guerillaGardner

10-25-2006, 06:23 AM

see i'm not so sure about that. i can't help but think that people don't want to hear about it, you know? like they've all got their own problems, the LAST thing they need to hear is some random acquaintence start whining and pouring his heart out. they don't care, i can't blame them, it would just be awkward for everyone involved.

I was more meaning as an explanation why you perhaps need a bit of space. Like if you were in a situation where you were feeling penned in you could just get up, excuse yourself and come back when you are ready.

Basic explanation could be: "For some reason I cramp up a bit and get a bit tense in social situations and I may need to get up and go loosen off every now and again."

That would take away from the pressure knowing that people were cool with it if they understood why you had to get up and go out. Knowing that you could do that at any time with minimum explanation can often disarm the anxiety that's involved and you may actually find that the easy 'get out clause' relaxes you more.

Social anxiety may feel like a dirty secret until you actually verbalise what it is and how you verbalise it is up to you: "My territorial bubble is 30 feet larger than anyone else's"; "I'm not good in large groups"; "I start to feel penned in really easily and need to get up and get a bit of space regularly."

The question is, if someone with the same problem was to try to explain to you in one short sentence (minus all the emotional stuff) what would sound the most reasonable, easily understandable description to you?

fucktopgirl

10-25-2006, 06:29 AM

One thing i can say is STAY AWAY from the fucking pills if you can.
Be strong and fight yours demons with your will and strengh. Pills will not make your mind stronger, it will numb it and thus only make things more hard to deal with once you slack them.

OUr society always is for the quickess and easy remedy, that is just non sense. IN life you have to fucking suffer to figure out shit, just part of this game. THoses pills make the pharmaceutical people richer and richer but what does it do to you?

Oh yea, you might feel better for a little while but soon or later you will have to stop taking them because of the numerous side effects they produced. So then what, back the case A, back at the beginning.

I am conscious that pills might helped some people , they are extreme case that absolutely need them( sphixo ...) , so good for you but if you can deal with your shit with another solution, go ahead. There is plenty of alternatives methods/herbs that can help you without numbing you and causing damage to your health.

I really doubts that, overall, pills have benefits/positives effects in the long run. That is just my opinion.