If they cheated to be with you they'll cheat on you??? [Archive]

QueenAdrock

10-19-2006, 08:25 AM

If they leave them to be with you, I don't see that as a bad thing. If they're already sad or mad or just in a bad place with their current and you come along and they say "fuck this relationship" and get together with you, I don't see that as the same. EDIT: As long as there's no cheating going on before the breakup, and they just break up to be with you. That at least shows respect for the person.

There are people who are in perfectly good relationships who still get drunk and cheat on their current. Or, they get in a fight with their current and go out and cheat. Those are the people to look out for. If they actually lie to their current boyfriend/girlfriend in order to be with you (regardless of the reason), there's absolutely no reason why they wouldn't do it with you too. I mean, what makes YOU so special that would make them stop? What if they found someone that they liked better than you? Why wouldn't they do the same and cheat again? If there's no reprocussions to their actions, there's no reason why they would stop.

icy manipulator

10-19-2006, 08:27 AM

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 08:33 AM

that happened to me with my last gf. fucking bitch

Wait she left someone for you then left you for someone else?

Basically I'm seeing a married woman right now. We haven't crossed certain lines yet and she was unhappy and planning on getting divorced in March way before I came along. But we talked about it last night and she's worried that I'm never going to trust her because she's kinda sorta cheating on him with me so I'll always just assume she'll do it to me. I can't lie, the thought has crossed my mind but I honestly don't see her ever doing that to me.

icy manipulator

10-19-2006, 08:36 AM

Wait she left someone for you then left you for someone else?

.
yeah that's what happened. actually she just cheated on me, and didn't go on seeing anyone else

hellojello

10-19-2006, 09:19 AM

Is that true? I mean if you meet someone who happens to be in a bad relationship or just not happy and they wind up leaving that person for you, does that mean they would do the same thing to you?
you need to watch ricki lake more
is that show still on
oh well watch the reruns its the same old shit
'once a cheater always a cheater they deserve to be drawn and quartered.'
I think ricki was a bit hypersensitive about it maybe she got cheated on one too many times.
Have to say if I was with her I'd probably cheat too.

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 09:32 AM

I know how it looks and sounds....but this seriously isn't anything cheap or tawdry. I mean all we have done is like hug, and cuddle and such which I realize is still "wrong" but we haven't kissed (it's killing me) or had sex. The truth of the matter is I really think I"m falling in love with this girl....

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 09:42 AM

Damnit people I need input here!! Tell me I"m not a horrible person, tell me there's a chance that we can live happily ever after once this whole mess passes!! Give me something!

Tone Capone

10-19-2006, 09:44 AM

What the CKUF are you doin seein a married woman?!? Anyway I wouldn't really trust her. I say that you should date her with your head and not with your heart for real. Just have fun.(y)

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 09:45 AM

Dude I didn't PLAN shit shit! It just happened we started out as friends then realized we were pretty much perfect for each other

Tone Capone

10-19-2006, 09:48 AM

Dude I didn't PLAN shit shit! It just happened we started out as friends then realized we were pretty much perfect for each other

You should just keep it fun man.

hitmonlee

10-19-2006, 09:48 AM

no, i was the other woman, and as far as i know i wasnt cheated on
but how can one really ever know?

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 09:51 AM

no, i was the other woman, and as far as i know i wasnt cheated on
but how can one really ever know?

Yeah but isn't that true with anyone you date?

hitmonlee

10-19-2006, 09:59 AM

Yeah but isn't that true with anyone you date?

yep, my second statement was a general thing.

HOTWIFE

10-19-2006, 10:04 AM

that just means that if things aren't going well with the two of you, instead of breaking it off, she's probably cheat on your ass.

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 10:07 AM

that just means that if things aren't going well with the two of you, instead of breaking it off, she's probably cheat on your ass.

I know that's the view most people would take but I dunno how to explain it. I mean last night she is the one who brought it up and was like "That's why I can't kiss you and do other things" she said that she's never done anything like this before and doesn't want me to think it's how she is etc etc. I don't trust anyone like ever but for some reason I feel like I should/could trust her

QueenAdrock

10-19-2006, 10:07 AM

ms.peachy

10-19-2006, 10:09 AM

I honestly don't see her ever doing that to me.
One imagines her husband thought the same thing, once upon a time.

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 10:10 AM

I agree with hotwife.

If it works out, great...just be prepared that if things go badly with her she may find someone else and not tell you. See what she says to her husband, if she's forthright and says she's unsatisfied with their relationship and wants a divorce eventually, or see if she just avoids the subject and continues to see you.

See that's the thing, they had been talking about divorce waaaay before I came along. He's away for a year right now and she planned on finalizing the paperwork when he comes back. Like I told her I don't want her leaving him to be with me, I want her to leave him because she was unhappy before and is doing what is best for herself. And that's what she's doing.

QueenAdrock

10-19-2006, 10:12 AM

Well as long as she's being honest with him, it just seems like circumstance. Be careful, and don't stick your thing in her till the divorce is complete.

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 10:14 AM

Well as long as she's being honest with him, it just seems like circumstance. Be careful, and don't stick your thing in her till the divorce is complete.

LOL good call....

Lex Diamonds

10-19-2006, 10:15 AM

Damnit people I need input here!! Tell me I"m not a horrible person, tell me there's a chance that we can live happily ever after once this whole mess passes!! Give me something!
Yeah I know how you feel I was in the same position until about a week ago. But now we're getting it together and we both couldn't be happier. If it works out then it's worth all the worry and feeling like an asshole.

EDIT: Wait, my girl wasn't married. You're a DICKHEAD!!! Only joking but yeah take it easy and don't fuck or even kiss her until they're separated.

Tone Capone

10-19-2006, 10:18 AM

Oh yeah homie and by a gun. You're in the States now... better yet, you're in the south so you'll need one eventually...

oh yeah and just in case her husband wants your blood and all.(!)

hellojello

10-19-2006, 10:21 AM

For a second there it looked like he got it in, but nah it bounced back, but luckily the backup guy was there to go for it on the rebound.
Score(!)

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 10:23 AM

Tone Capone

10-19-2006, 10:27 AM

^Don't worry I picked up a lil 9 millimeter like my 3rd week here....but that's just for protection against home invaders....and to look gangsta! Ugh this would be so much easier if I didn't think she might be "the one"

You always have a "the one" ;) . Just be careful man. Stay safe and more importantly, rep your hood... actually just have fun man:)

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 10:29 AM

You always a a "the one" ;) . Just be careful man. Stay safe and more importantly, rep your hood... actually just have fun man:)

C'mon man 95% of the time you've known me I was with Bonifa (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent) I've only been single again since June. You're right though I'm just trying to keep things light and not freak out. We do have a lot of fun and that makes me happy....for now <sinsiter look>

DandyFop

10-19-2006, 11:12 AM

I definetly don't think that kissing or screwing needs to happen for it to be considered "cheating". Obviously you can't tell the future, which means that there's no way to know if she would do that with you or not...just because you two are feeling like this now, there's no way that means it will last. Part of it is probably the excitement you/she gets from knowing that it isn't right. If she can't communicate with someone she MARRIED about their relationship, I would be hard up to trust her if I were you.

QueenAdrock

10-19-2006, 11:23 AM

I don't believe in "the one." My one friend who's head-over-heels in love keeps saying he's the one and blah blah...I think since it's still a new relationship and there's a lot of chemistry, she's got that whole super-lust thing going on.

I loved Wayne with all my heart and was ready to marry him, but if I thought he was "the one" I'd have never been able to deal with what happened and would end up being a spinster for the rest of my life. Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up after heartbreak and say "Fuck this. I'm finding someone else who can make me happy." There's certain types of people out there for everyone, but the chance of finding a person that was "meant for you" out of 3 billion people of the opposite sex in the world seems kind of silly to me.

Either way, lust fades with time. You'll still have the love, but the lust will be significantly lower. It will eventually fade away to "Honey did you put food in the garbage disposal?" "Yeah I did." "GODDAMMIT I TOLD YOU NOT TO, THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL IS BROKEN!" "Well, fuck, I thought you were going to get that fixed last week!" "I told you I had to work, and that YOU should call the repairman!" etc. etc.

10-19-2006, 01:05 PM

All I have to say is don't kiss her at Popeye's. The staff will ruin the moment.

abcdefz

10-19-2006, 01:18 PM

Is that true? I mean if you meet someone who happens to be in a bad relationship or just not happy and they wind up leaving that person for you, does that mean they would do the same thing to you?

I wouldn't get involved. I mean, whatever the circumstances, if a person can't wait until they're free and clear, it means that fidelity just ain't part of their code.

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 02:34 PM

All I have to say is don't kiss her at Popeye's. The staff will ruin the moment.

Umm I hate Popeye's.....meanwhile back to what QueenAdrock said. I honestly think that is why us not being more pysically intimate with each other is a good thing. I mean we are really getting to know each other as people. It's really not a lust thing. I mean we can hang out for 4 or 5 hours at the park then go home and talk on the phone for another 4. My roommate is asked me the other day "What the hell do you guys even talk about for that long?" and I was just like "I dunno, everything and anything" it's actually quite nice. Even though I'm falling asleep as I type this...

Rock

10-19-2006, 02:52 PM

What go around come around.

wanton wench

10-19-2006, 02:58 PM

Like I told her I don't want her leaving him to be with me, I want her to leave him because she was unhappy before and is doing what is best for herself.
you will never know if this is true if you are around when the divorce happens.

Loppfessor

10-19-2006, 03:55 PM

you will never know if this is true if you are around when the divorce happens.

yeah I know but like I said this was all in the works well before I came into the picture. I guess I'll just hafta trust her on some things

wanton wench

10-19-2006, 04:26 PM

i would be careful. why is it still in the works? if both are in agreement a divorce only takes like a month and it can be done by mail.

just dont wait around forever and get hurt. if she does not divorce soon she probably never will.

BigMikeLV

10-19-2006, 06:03 PM

Once cheat, always a cheat. Whats to stop them from doing the samething they did to the poor schmuck they left to be with you.

befsquire

10-19-2006, 09:53 PM

i don't fall for the "once a cheat, always a cheat" kind of thing because people cheat for many different reasons. a high school boyfriend (actually a boyfriend off and on from middle school through high school and then the first 2 semesters of college) used to either cheat on me, or break up with me so he wasn't cheating. i kept taking him back. he actually matured one day and apologized for his behavior, and i believe he wouldn't do that to his wife (who is almost exactly like me).

supposedly if you get a girl in a bad way, you'll lose her in a bad way. if everything she's telling you is true, you'll be fine. my ex and i were together on paper only due to several factors that he and i discussed, and i was still technically married (though the divorce papers had been filed) when bobby first came down here. i didn't feel like that was cheating. others may feel differently.

10-19-2006, 09:57 PM

Yeah really it's all situational.

It's kind of hard to give advice about these things not knowing either one of you guys so well. Just go with your heart I guess. What would you regret the most?

Loppfessor

10-20-2006, 07:32 AM

Yeah the more I learn about things the less guilt I feel. I found out last night they've been sleeping in separate beds for over 2 years now. I dunno I"m still going to have to take shit slow and play it cool.

skra75

10-20-2006, 08:56 AM

yes, trust me yes she will.
*angry*
*urge to drink rising*

Loppfessor

10-20-2006, 08:58 AM

yes, trust me yes she will.
*angry*
*urge to drink rising*

speaking from experience I take it???....please share with the group. We're not here to judge, only listen

skra75

10-20-2006, 09:10 AM

speaking from experience I take it???....please share with the group. We're not here to judge, only listen

ohh....you don't want to hear my story. the world does not need me to barf up my bitterness any more. just trust me, dishonest people are dishonest people - be careful and watch yourself.

Loppfessor

10-20-2006, 12:57 PM

Okay so I almost put this in my Friday thread but think it fits better here....Anyway I sent her a text message at lunch saying "I can't wait to see you later and give you a big hug" cus we were supposed to catch a movie tonight. Anyway she replied back with "Not today, I just made a big decsion and need time to let it sink in" or something similar to that. Anyway I asked if she was okay she said no but she would be. So I said I'm here if you need anything. I wonder if this "decison" is good for me or bad....

monkey

12-22-2006, 10:30 AM

2 things:

* once a cheater may not always be a cheater. circumstances matter. but only for a one time thing. umm. yea.

* i believe in the one. i believe there's a few ones out there. but the one is the one who makes you think you can stand them forever, even all their annoying shit. i still think my exbf is my one. or one of my ones. i should get over that, shouldnt i.

Loppfessor

12-22-2006, 10:34 AM

Well since this thread got the old bump-a-roo. I'll give you a brief update. Things are going awesome! She'll be divorced very soon and umm we're not making any serious plans but things are going well

Oh yeah and a mutual friend tried to "hook us up" the other day. It was hilarious he was like "Oh you know XXXX is getting divorced right? I talked to her and I think she's interested in you, you two should hook up I think you'd go really well together"

it was a lot more involved than that but it was still funny cus no one knows that we've been dating for like 3 months now

HEIRESS

12-22-2006, 10:45 AM

HEY QUIT YOUR GODDAMN CRY-BABYING AND THREADS FULL OF DRAMA LOPP AND DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND GO PULL OUT YOUR TAMPON YOU FAWKING HARD-ON

Loppfessor

12-22-2006, 10:48 AM

^Nope typing in all caps didn't make you any more imaginative, creative, or even interesting. You're still just a moderately attractive girl who has little to offer in terms of personality, character or substance.....keep trying though

icy manipulator

12-22-2006, 10:54 AM

well, i learnt the hard way, now i shall never date a girl who broke up with her bf to be with me. no matter how big the boobies are :cool:

HEIRESS

12-22-2006, 11:15 AM