i wish i were blazed out of my mind right now

[monkey]

cause i dont wanna think of the things im thinking about.



im worried about my mommy :(

[zorra_chiflada]

:(

i'm worried about your mommy and my mommy and joe as well. i pretend that nothing is wrong.

[monkey]

it's easier to pretend when theres foreign substances clouding my brain. but im trying out this new thing called being sober. it's not that fun.

[The Notorious LOL]

fear of anything bad happening related to my parents puts me into hysterics, so I can empathize with that.

[Schmeltz]

Me too.

But I'm not really worried about anything. I'm just out of weed. My tiny little town is apparently going through a drought.

[monkey]

yesterday, my dad thought it would be appropriate to ask us what we would do if he passed. i, of course, made a big joke about how we would become sex workers and run a highly profitable business from the house.
but having to actually think about that shit, regarding either one of my parents, turns my gut into knots. it's just not something i can deal with.

oh and i have enough to get me through not having to think for a few days. my self control is just particularly spectacular right now.

[The Notorious LOL]

As children we get this mentality that our parents are the strongest people on the planet and see them as this invicible force. It sucks that thats not true :(

[monkey]

you know whats really scary - one of my friends from hs, her mom (a doctor) went to see her own doctor one day, got diagnosed with breast cancer within a week, died within 10 days. that's just fucked up.

[Schmeltz]

Ha! I just called my boy and he's hooked up! And my self-control is absolutely non-existent. (y)

I'll burn one down for you, pauli. May all your fears, concerns, and worries vanish like smoke on the breeze.

[The Notorious LOL]

honestly I would see that kind of passing as more of a blessing in disguise compared to long drawn out pain that most people suffer with cancer. Either way its a shitty situation but of the two choices, a quick passing is better.

[ericlee]

schmeltz can burn one for me too. I've got a wizz quiz here in a couple of days for a new job so I have to stay clean.

I can't get blitzed if I have things on my mind though because I end up thinking waaay to hard about it. I zone out on it and get even more depressed.

[ms.peachy]

honestly I would see that kind of passing as more of a blessing in disguise compared to long drawn out pain that most people suffer with cancer. Either way its a shitty situation but of the two choices, a quick passing is better.
This is how I feel about my mom's death last month. Sudden and surprising, but much better than watching her waste away painfully.

[The Notorious LOL]

I know someone whos dad has been fighting terminal cancer for some time. She said she feels strange because she wants to treat him like dad rather than all of a sudden visiting more often and acting differently.

[zorra_chiflada]

it's funny, before something bad happens to someone close to you, you imagine how you'd react if it did happen. i used to think i'd never ever be able to deal with something happening to my mother, that i would just completely break down. but when you're in the midst of it you realise that you can move on and you can deal with it.

[skra75]

loss in general is horrible as it's happening, but when it's all over, you're scoured and stripped down, there's a hollow place that gives you a chance to think about yourself, the person you've lost, and the world as a whole. The strength it takes to make it through gives dimension, depth. hang in there.

[tracky]

norcen, please don't try and act all drunk it's just lame

[pshabi]

fear of anything bad happening related to my parents puts me into hysterics, so I can empathize with that.
When you have kids of your own, that same type of fear is magnified by about 1 million. Something bad happening to your kid(s) is the worst thing imagineable.