Theoretical Question

[Big Gus]

Ok so you have your eye on a girl and over the passage of time, and flirting, you go on a couple of dates. She seems the gorgeous, enigmatic, interesting, funny and caring girl youve always dreamed of...

..on the 5th date you go for a meal and a few drinks, it;s an evening of sparkling conversation and fun.

You invite her in for "coffee" and one thing leads to another and some passion ensues. She is a considerate lover, uninhibited and powerful in bed and you fall into a deep, happy slumber afterwards. Entwined in each others bodies.

When you awake you find out she has stealthilly pulled back the duvet during the night and crouched over you and laid a big, stodgy cable on your belly.

"I do this to all the guys I really care about".

Would you see past her kink or would that be relationship over?

Hmmm?

[b i o n i c]

as long as she threw some rainbow sprinkles on it, it'd be all good (y)

[Waus]

HAH.

[Pres Zount]

You have got to be kidding.

[Big Gus]

Fuck man no girl has downloaded on me before!

We were talking about the shittest thing that could happen with a girl and that came up. We were drunk.

[Rock]

Poop incorporated in sex is something I just would't be able to get down with no matter how perfect the girl was. I would be scared to sex her because of the dook factor. I say boom biddy bye bye.

[Big Gus]

Nah it's not poop sex or anything. You wake up, she's carefully shat on your belly.

It's just a 1 off though. Basically you like everything about her up to this point....

[b i o n i c]

this is kind of like the little scenario i give to my friends when they might be ranting about this or that chick and how hot she is...

i just tell them to imagine that hot, delicious woman... dressed in the sexiest clothes, all made up, hair whisping in the air... then she strips naked and poops a huge fat stinker into a big metal pot right in the middle of your kitchen... like a forehead vein popping, grunty, sweat inducing turd. now how hot is she

[Rock]

Nah it's not poop sex or anything. You wake up, she's carefully shat on your belly.

It's just a 1 off though. Basically you like everything about her up to this point....
Yeah but poop man. Poop. Then again I guess it would be sort of like raising a puppy except shitting on the carpet its on my chest. Maybe she can be trained to at least do it on the side of the bed or something?

[Big Gus]

Theoretically it's a high quality poop - you can see her diet is good and it's fairly "consistant" allowing easy cleaning.

She's also curled it out with some panache. The classic "full coil" with nice elevation on the tip.

[Rock]

Theoretically it's a high quality poop - you can see her diet is good and it's fairly "consistant" allowing easy cleaning.

She's also curled it out with some panache. The classic "full coil" with nice elevation on the tip.
well that just changes everything. it sounds more like a piece of art not a piece of shit.

[Teh]

something resembling lager came out my nose at about post 8

[Big Gus]

well that just changes everything. it sounds more like a piece of art not a piece of shit.

It's just a one off "deposit" though, thats her marker her territory.

Would you just forget about it??

[Big Gus]

You can protest and stuff and go "The fuck? Youve shat on me in my sleep!"

She'll just say "I do it to all guys I like, i wont do it again now though".

You tell her to hit the road???

[Big Gus]

Heheh. Fuck yeah I near laughed myself into a coma when the subject turned to this last night after a few drinks.

Anyway I thought about it in the cold light of day and if i really liked her that much up to the "incident" - I'd probably just forget about it - and monitor the situation.

[Bob]

You can protest and stuff and go "The fuck? Youve shat on me in my sleep!"

She'll just say "I do it to all guys I like, i wont do it again now though".

You tell her to hit the road???

if it were just a one time thing? i'd stay with her

that's me though, i'm an odd guy. but hell, one little incident, that doesn't sound so bad. it happened. it can't unhappen. it won't happen again. i don't see any reason to use that as grounds for breaking up

[beastiegirrl101]

I know this girl who's nickname is shitchest.

poop is a deal breaker.

[Big Gus]

I know this girl who's nickname is shitchest

Ahah, holy shit...

[Rock]

Wait...so its a one time thing?

I'd like to think I could get over it...but I doubt I would.

I would keep trying to equate it with someone getting so drunk they pissed the bed....but piss and poop are at different ends of the spectrum.

[Pres Zount]

Fuck man no girl has downloaded on me before!

We were talking about the shittest thing that could happen with a girl and that came up. We were drunk.

no, no, I guess I didn't fully explain myself. I can't believe you would even conseder staying with someone that did that.

First of all, she's probably gone through the entire night with you JUST so she could take the dump, so either she's joking with the whole "I do it to all guys" line and she actually hates you and will joke about this incident with her friends - OR if you stay with her you are going to have to put up with a lifetime of waking up with brown on you, often not following the amazing sex.

[b i o n i c]

lol you guys really believe this?

[Big Gus]

Like I said if it was a one off and I liked everything else about her, I probably would just forget it.

[Bob]

Wait...so its a one time thing?

I'd like to think I could get over it...but I doubt I would.

I would keep trying to equate it with someone getting so drunk they pissed the bed....but piss and poop are at different ends of the spectrum.

even if you can't get over it, you have two choices. you can either be a guy who's with the girl of his dreams and has had someone take a dump on his chest

or

you can be lonely and be a guy who's had someone take a dump on his chest

either way the damage is done, you may as well reap the rewards

[beastiegirrl101]

Ahah, holy shit...


it's actually a funny story how we found out.


. . . we were at a bar and she was telling us that she caught her BF cheating on her with some chick she knew, she was hystarically crying and then mid screaming and tears she goes, "AND TO THINK I LET THAT MOTHER FUCKER SHIT ON MY CHEST"

and from that day forth...Chrissy aka shitchest was born.

[Waus]

Seriously, do the same to her, and call the deal even and overwith, and enjoy a life of not shitting on each other together.

How weird would it be if she woke up in the middle of it, and you're just like "HOLD STILL!"

[Big Gus]

It's a clean job. There's no smeared paper to be seen. There's none on the sheets.

She's also squatted with skill, not roused you or anything.

[Pres Zount]

There is no way that somebody would do this and then never do it again.


It would be on their mind everytime they saw you get into bed. Even if they promised to do never do it again - you know they would be wanting to, which is fucking sick.

I would wait until I had a crap in me, then I would wipe it in her fucking face.

[Big Gus]

I've never been defecated on, it was purely drunken pub talk.

Nah no piss. I'd have mentioned piss.

[Rock]

Really!

Besides, I wouldn't trust the aim of my ass. She must have done this before to be such a good shot.
Ummmm how can you really have bad aim when it comes to bowel movements unless its muddy poop?

[Bob]

Ummmm how can you really have bad aim when it comes to bowel movements unless its muddy poop?

i don't think he means he misses the bowl or anything like that, i think it's more like, if someone painted a bullseye on the ground and said "i'll give you $100 if you can shit in the bullseye", it'd be hard to do.

[b i o n i c]

especially if it was one of those curly ones like big gus is referring too... make you have to whip out a protractor and factor a few degrees to to the left or right

[Pres Zount]

Just guessing. I mean it's not like I can see with that eye.

That would be a good super power.

[Rock]

i don't think he means he misses the bowl or anything like that, i think it's more like, if someone painted a bullseye on the ground and said "i'll give you $100 if you can shit in the bullseye", it'd be hard to do.
Amateur

[Rock]

Just guessing. I mean it's not like I can see with that eye.
I think that may have been the funniest thing you have ever said here.

[Rock]

especially if it was one of those curly ones like big gus is referring too... make you have to whip out a protractor and factor a few degrees to to the left or right
ahhhh true...i didn't add the curl factor into the equation.

Hat trick!

[Big Gus]

Yeah we're talking "curler".

The Full Coil. With "elevation" on the top part.

[Pres Zount]

Tappered ending. The works.

[ET]

Steaming poo?

[befsquire]

i'm thinking it makes you her bitch.

[Lyman Zerga]

id dump her