Fatherhood

[Yeti]

Tonight, I was trying to calm my 12 week old boy down. Aiden had been unusually loud this evening---lots of crying and screaming. He was in his lounge chair and as I looked down his entire head was turning red. His eyes crossed and bugged out of his head. He looked like he was not breathing. I quickly swooped him out of the bouncy lounge chair and started patting him on the back. I was really worried and scared. When I brought him down to my lap he looked fine. I finally realized that his eyes were crossed and his entire face and head was beat red for a reason........He took a large dump and was pushing it out. It was hysterical.
I can imagine that is the exact way that Elvis died on the toilet.

[QueenAdrock]

Hahahhaa gross!

[jackrock]

I thought Freebs was potty trained?

[Yeti]

I thought Freebs was potty trained?

He is Aidan not Aiden and Freebasser has the liquid shits.

[QueenAdrock]

i think i just threw up in my mouth a little. :(

[Yeti]

Did it taste like Mike's Light Hard Lemonade mixed with chicken?

[QueenAdrock]

You know I DID have chicken at lunch!

But no, it was pickles. :(

[ms.peachy]

Earlier this week, Miss Mattie (who turned 6 months Weds) had not pooped for days. I think Saturday was the last day she had had a poo. So as the days went by, I was getting kind of worried. But she seemed perfectly fine and happy, did not seem to be in any discomfort or straining or anything. I'm frantically checking through my What to Expect the First Year (which is like my bible these days), and checking parenting websites and all this to see if this is OK and should I be worried or what. Every source says it's fine, breastfed babies don't get constipated, she might just be going through a growth spurt and 'using' more of her intake than usual, etc. She had a doctor's appt on Wednesday anyway so when she still hadn't gone by then, I asked the pediatrician and he says yeah, she's fine, she's perfectly healthy, sometimes this just happens and she'll poop when she's ready.

Forward to Thursday evening. The room suddenly fills with suspicious pants noises, followed by a most interesting aroma. MASSIVE poopsplosion, so much so it's overflowing the diaper and coming out up the back and out the leg holes.

Quite often these days, when things like this happen, I do think to myself, is this what Angelina is doing right now? Motherhood is so fuckin' glamourous. :o

[QueenAdrock]

You know, before that time of the month I get that whole "Get a man and have a baby!" mentality because it's my body being all frantic and stuff and wanting to be fertilized or whatever.

Then I come in here and it shuts up my hormones pretty damn fast.

Thank you guys. :p

[Yeti]

ms. peachy, we should now start talking about the green slime colored shit or as us parents call it---poop. Sometimes Aiden goes a couple of days and when I pick him up it has leaked all over the back of his one piece Evel Knievel jumpsuit. I carry him around thinking it is just pee until I smell the stench of baby crap.
Somehow I think Angelina has a nurse and a nanny.....but I'm sure she has had Maddox's feces on her hands.

[ms.peachy]

TBH really most of the time I do not mind diaper duty, even the poopy stuff. This particualr time was exceptional. But most of the time it's no big deal; even when it's poo, it's not especially foul since she's exclusively breastfed. But pretty soon we're goiong to have to start introducing solids, and then, well, from what I understand, all bets are off....

[Freebasser]

I'll be having the liquid shits tonight alright - chicken tandoori at 7pm (y)

[Yeti]

I'll be having the liquid shits tonight alright - chicken tandoori at 7pm (y)

Thanks for the information. Tandoori huh---I am sure it will look better going in. I have never heard of this chicken dish.

My father is a retired corporate poultry vet. I called him a corp killer. He would make sure the chickens and turkeys were healthy enough to kill. I grew up working on poultry farms and slaughter house. I hate to eat chicken and turkey. I will eat turkey on Thankgiving but I have too many bad memories of poultry.