ok so today pretty much just fucking blows

[HEIRESS]

multiple things had to go wrong today
I am the type to stick up for people even when the problem has NOTHING to do with me because I dont like seeing someone of authority throwing their weight around just because they can, so because I stick my neck out for someone else I end up getting blamed for shit I didnt even do in the end

so Ive been shit on three times extensively today because of this ridiculous trait of mine

then my boss was all "ohh we are having the xmas curling party for the mining people on december 2, but im going to the coast to pick up my bagillion dollar european horse that was just shipped in from amsterdam and then ill be in the Yukon with some clients until the party date, so you need to call sponsers and get money for prizes and then go buy some prizes and such and organize the whole thing.....oh and mc the entire affair too"

THE FUCK, nononooooo
just cause im known to be th3 type to have a funny comment for everything and everyone doesnt mean I want to spend an xmas party up front with a microphone instead of getting drunk at my table making snarky non-amplified comments about people as they go up to get their prizes
FUCKFUCKFUCK

I aint got time for this shit, NO TIME

and thennnnnnnnn our heating system was being gay yet again, so we brought in the natural gas people to check out the system and apparently we have all been breathing in carbon monoxide for the past while so that means I lost precious brain cells and answers why Ive had a headache each day after work for the past two weeks

oh and my best friend/coworker is now mad at me over rolling stone concert related reasons and I tried to make amends by buying her some beef jerky but It didnt seem to work so I also have her glaring at me every time I pass by her at work today

:P(:(:(:(:(A:OFASKJHFASLKJHDKJASHDKJSA

[HEIRESS]

:mad: whatever fuck this shit, Ill just stay angry because im funniest when im fucking angry

throw me the fucking mic, Ill show all those bastards the best time of their lives

Ill need three drinks before 6 pm for this to work out though

OR ILL JUST BREAK MY LEG WHILE CURLING AND NOT HAVE TO DO IT
AHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAH

[HEIRESS]

ps,

CARBON

MONOXIDE

[kll]

:mad: whatever fuck this shit, Ill just stay angry because im funniest when im fucking angry

throw me the fucking mic, Ill show all those bastards the best time of their lives

Ill need three drinks before 6 pm for this to work out though

OR ILL JUST BREAK MY LEG WHILE CURLING AND NOT HAVE TO DO IT
AHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAH


you're the only person i know who actually curls

[Echewta]

You need to find a bartender with a myspace page.

[skra75]

throw me the fucking mic, Ill show all those bastards the best time of their lives

AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

[MC Moot]

:mad: whatever fuck this shit, Ill just stay angry because im funniest when im fucking angry

throw me the fucking mic, Ill show all those bastards the best time of their lives

Word,you should wear that low cut number you mentioned and the worlds your stage....;)

[HEIRESS]

Oh there will be titties, oh yes, there will be titties

CURLING IS AWESOME

SPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK

[The Notorious LOL]

ps,

CARBON

MONOXIDE



how many ppm?

[HEIRESS]

no-one knows

all my boss will say "it was not enough to harm you, but enough to make you sluggish"
KAITHNXAWESOMEGREAT

the CO poisoning is the least of my worries right now
I could stand to use a few brain cells anyways

[HEIRESS]

holy shitballs

after the day I had I would have loved to have come home from work and as a stress relief either: gone to the gym, taken a bath, drank 3 glasses of vino, or had my fucking brains gently fucked out

but nooooo I let my friend drag me to some 66 year old ladies house with a bunch of other ladies from work and we ate chilli and listened to andre botticelli and watched the worse slide-show of travel pictures ever with old lady McOldvagina pants having no idea how to use her dvd controller so after every pic she took us back to the main menu and then she'd have to find out where she last left off and scroooooooolllllllll back to the next picture in the line-up or if a picture was the wrong way up shed do the 360 degree turn with the controllers instead of pressing the right button right away and doing it quickly and OF COURSE she flat-out refused to let any of us take over the controller

3 fucking hours of photos

and I tried twice to do the ole "hooo boy, im am sooooo tired" get up and stretch and walk around and my friend wouldnt fucking back me up

left me hanging

fuck she is sitll pissed at me

I dont think I deserved this sort of punishment

good

fucking

grief

and tomorrow I have to go to the dentist AGAIN and get my root-canal filled in fully so thats is just FANTASTIC

oh man, I need a hug :(

[mikizee]

I need some titties

[na§tee]

awww poor heiress. don't worry. you'll get a present soon. that will cheer you up!

fact: my boyfriend's old boss won the gold medal for SCOTLAND (read: great britain) in curling whatever olympics that scotland, uh, won. the ones before the most recent ones. she's apparently bankrupt now. och well! you win some, you lose some eh?

you probably like you some curling cos of the good ole scottish genes. we love a bit of it here. all you canadians are just shit hot at it because of the celtic connection. seriously. um. probably.

in other news, i pulled a sicky today so i can stay in bed with my man and go and watch casino royale. WOOPDEEWOOH!

[Otis Driftwood]

Heiress, I'd gift you a horse for christmas.
You can still make fun of the prizes and winners when mcing the shebang. Just tell everyone upfront that the "disgruntled involuntary MC" thing is your schtick! They'll be laughing their ass off thinking you're not serious.I saw this on King of Queens once...

[Praying Mantis]

good

fucking

grief

:(


You know Charlie brown?

[skra75]

holy shitballs...worse slide-show of travel pictures ever with old lady McOldvagina pants....scroooooooolllllllll....3 fucking hours of photos....."hooo boy, im am sooooo tired"

Oh my fucking god this is the funniest shit I've read on here in a very long time. I hate laughing at other ppls misfortune but holy shit.